"HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Sat May 15, 2021 7:26 pm

"HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS"

CHAPTER 1
INTRO TO: “HE’S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS.”

BEYONCE’S POV

I’m thirty-three years old. Light skin, long sandy brown hair, thick all around…and divorced. I have 2 beautiful daughters Tasha (15) and Tierra aka TiTi (3). My ex-husband is Shawn Carter aka Jay Z. Yea I married the infamous Jay Z, we have been together for 16 years and married for 14.We ended it, due to trust issues and relationship problems. We got married really young and that was part of the reason why we started off with problems. We have been divorced for a little over a year now. We both reside in Los Angeles, California. About 5 minutes away from Beverly Hills. I live in a luxurious apartment on the Westside of LA. Shawn lives not too far from me, maybe about 10-15 minutes away. He stays in a 6 bedroom luxurious home. I have my own clothing line with my mom Tina Knowles. Our clothing line is called “HOUSE OF DEREON.” We are working on our newest junior line called Dereon; my sister is the spokesperson for the line. Tasha is our first daughter together. She’s very candid, and speaks her mind all of the time whether it is needed or not. She is very beautiful just like her mom. TiTi is our baby; she’s only 3 years old. She has the personality that lasts for days. TiTi resembles both Shawn and I, she’s the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen.

My sister Solange has a son named Julez and he is 2 years old. Besides being the spokesperson for Dereon, she does a lot of song writing for many artists. Her skills are amazing; she has a lot of artists lined up to work with her. Now Julez is just the bundle of joy that every family needs. He’s full of emotions, he’s so bad but cute at the same time and I think that is why we all love him to death.

My best friends Kelly, Michelle and Angie are always there for me whenever I need them. We have known each other since middle school, and have remained the best of friends since. All three of them were right by my side throughout my divorce and cried with me, laughed with me, and was there to tell me that I didn’t need a man to make me who I am. I wouldn’t trade the world for these monkeys. Kelly is an interior designer, which is why my apartment is so nicely decorated. Michelle is a very successful accountant. She works with only the best and has been promoted to the top. I’m very proud of the both of them! And Ms. Angie is actually my cousin but she is also my best friend. Angie is a very successful lawyer, don’t want to brag or nothing but she has won many cases and is very wealthy for her age. What can I say the Knowles’ women don’t play.

My mom and dad, Tina and Mathew Knowles. Are the super hero parents! My dad owns his own record company. And like I mentioned my mom and I have our own successful clothing line. They truly are the best parents to walk this earth. They had their ups and downs in their relationship but in the end their still together.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:26 pm

HERE ARE THE CHARACTER'S:
THEY ARE M0STLY THE MAIN CHARACTERS ((S0MEWHAT))
M0RE MAY BE ADDED T0 THE ST0RY

SHAWN CARTER: ((34))
0CCUPATI0N: RAPPER
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/hovah.jpg?t=1184908548)

BEY0NCE CARTER: ((33))
0CCUPATI0N: FASHI0N DESIGNER
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/220004.jpg?t=1184910435)

TASHA CARTER: ((15))
0CCUPATI0N: STUDENT
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/1046873655_l.jpg?t=1184908729)

TIERRA CARTER: ((3))
0CCUPATI0N: BEING CUTE
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/747843.jpg?t=1184909757)

MATHEW KN0WLES:
0CCUPATI0N: 0WNS REC0RD LABEL
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/MathewKnowles_lo-res.jpg?t=1184909838)

TINA KN0WLES:
0CCUPATI0N: FASHI0N DESIGNER
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/14380365maccouba6212007tk5.jpg?t=1184908853)

S0LANGE KN0WLES: ((29))
0CCUPATI0N: S0NGWRITER/ACTRESS/FASHI0N DESIGNER
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/sb4xa7.jpg?t=1184908910)

JULEZ SMITH: ((2))
0CCUPATI0N: BEING BAD
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/daniel_jj_smith_070430_01_cbb.jpg?t=1184909978)

ANGIE BEYINCE: ((31))
0CCUPATI0N: LAWYER
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/b8ci3.jpg?t=1184910055)

KELLY R0WLAND: ((33))
0CCUPATI0N: INTERRI0R DESIGNER
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/kelly4lx40.jpg?t=1184910139)

MICHELLE WILLIAMS: ((34))
0CCUPATI0N: ACC0UNTANT
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/01075.jpg?t=1184910332)

Sat May 15, 2021 7:27 pm

CHAPTER 1 CONTINUED:
BEYONCE’S POV
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/73364096.jpg?t=1184910839)(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/857551077_l.jpg?t=1184910899)

All day all I have been doing around the house is clean. I didn’t have to go in to look at any fabrics or discuss any deadlines or anything so I decided to clean. It was going on 2:30 and it was time for me to go and pick up Tasha from school and TiTi from daycare. I went outside and got in my 07 Mercedes CLK63, it was a little gift that I bought for myself last weekend. I decided to pick up Tasha first because it was still a little early to pick up TiTi plus the traffic picking up Tasha from high school was bananas.

“Shit.” I said to myself as I came to a holt behind a car due to traffic. I looked at the long line leading to the school and sighed and sat back in my seat. I glanced at my wedding ring that I still insisted on wearing. I thought about Shawn and decided to call him, even though we weren’t together any more we still had a relationship as to where I could call him and he could call me. We weren’t the best of friends, but we kept it cool as best as possible for the kids. The feelings for one another were still there we just never showed them.

“Hey Bee!” He answered using the nickname that he invented back in the day, now everyone uses. I smiled and started playing with the buttons for the radio.

“Hey, you busy?”

“Uhh no not right now, I’m on my break. Why what’s up?”

“Oh nothing, but are you coming to get the girls this weekend?” I asked already knowing the answer to my question.

“Damn. I forgot I got them this weekend…Beyonce I can’t get them this weekend.” I sucked my teeth, because he pulled this every weekend. See the girls lived with me for one week and then lived with Shawn the next, except during school. They stayed with me during school and every other weekend Shawn would have them. But lately it’s almost as if they stayed with me the whole time. “I’m sorry.”

“Save it Shawn. When your daughters start forgetting who you are don’t feel bad alright!!”

“They not trust me!” He said in defense. The last time he saw these girls was three weeks ago, his work comes before anything and everybody. That’s the reason we aren’t married now.

“Okay, I guess I’ll just cancel whatever I had planned…because of somebody else’s irresponsible ass.” He sighed and I could tell he was rubbing his temples that’s what he always did, “I’ll talk to you later bye.” I hung up before letting him get any response before hearing the dial tone. I waited in traffic for a good 10 minutes and finally arrived to the front of the school where she usually waits for me. I saw her talking with some friends until she saw me pull up; she gave them a hug and strolled to the car.

“Take your time, I don’t have nothing to do!” I said to her before pulling off.

“My day was fine mom thanks for asking.” She said with sarcasm.

“I’m sorry, your dad just pisses me off. How was school today?”

“It was okay the usual. I gotta tell you something though mama.” I looked at her in the corner of my eye.

“What?” I said with my eyes on the road.

“I have a boyfriend.” She stated with enthusiasm in her voice. I smiled happy for her. “His name is Sharod, he’s in 11th grade and mom he is so fine.” I frowned at the grade he was in.

“A little old don’t you think?”

“How is he old momma?”

“Tasha you’re a freshmen and he’s a junior hmm let me think…he’s too old!”

“Well were going to be together.”

“That’s fine, tell your dad about him and we’ll see how long you two love birds will be together then.” She sighed and mumbled something and reclined her seat and closed her eyes. I continued driving to pick up my other little one. I pulled up to the school and parked the car. “Tasha can you go get your sister for me?”

“Why can’t you go get her?”

“Because I asked my oh so respectful daughter.”

“Ugh whatever.” She said unbuckling her seat belt and slamming the door behind her.

“Stop slamming doors with ya mean ass!” I yelled after her after rolling down my window. I rolled it back up and called my mom to see how everything was going. “Hey ma.”

“Hey Bee how’s your day off?”

“Well it was going good…until your so called son said he couldn’t get the girls this weekend so now I have to cancel my plans.”

“Oh you guys are forever going at it. But you insist yall is still friends humph. What kinds of friends are yall?” She said as we both chuckled.

“I guess just friends for the sake of the kids, I really don’t want to have anything to do with his trifling ass.”

“Beyonce stop talking about my son like that.” She has always been a fan of Shawn’s, my dad and him still get along too but my mom loves him. If I talk bad about him she’s always picking his side.

“Whatever, tell your son to grow up he’s 34 years old and acts like he’s 17.”

“Give em time. But we got this new summer collection in today and it’s hot.”

“House of Dereon or Dereon?”

“Oh it’s for the Dereon line, Solange was in and she liked it too. But you coming to the office tomorrow?”

“Uh yea.”

“Okay well you’ll see it then.”

“Alright, but um let me get off of this phone your rug rats are coming. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Alright love you.”

“Love you too.” I said before pressing the hang up button on my sidekick3. Tasha and TiTi came walking towards the car. “Hey momma’s baby.” I said to TiTi as she buckled up in her booster seat in the back.

“Hey momma! Guess what.” I pretended to think, “Mom!” She whined.

“What I can’t think.” I joked, and she sighed and put her hands on her face. I looked at her facial expression in the mirror and laughed because she was a spitting image of her daddy.

“Otay me just tell you…I got a sucker today for being good girl!” She said excitedly. I smiled big at her. “You happy?”

“Of course I’m happy baby girl. Good job.”

“(Cough) Fake.” Tasha said in a cough. I shot her a shut the hell up look, “What?”

“Tasha don’t start with me today.” I said pulling up in the drive thru to Burger King, I ordered their food and we pulled off to go home.

“Are we going to dad’s house this weekend?” Tasha asked, as I was about to unlock the door. I gave her that yea right look. “What’s his excuse this time?”

“He didn’t tell me as usual just said he couldn’t come and get yall.”

“We not seeing daddy?” TiTi asked taking a bite into her burger I went over to her and kissed her cheek.

“No but you are spending more time with momma.” She smiled and put on a look of surprise.

“Yay!” Tasha said in sarcasm, I went over to her and gently pushed her away, “Love you too ma… “
*******
I was on my laptop working, Tasha was in her room on the phone probably and TiTi was probably watching television. It was going on 6 in the evening and the evening was really calm. I got thirsty and walked to the kitchen to get me some water and as I got up the doorbell rang. I sighed and walked to the door and peeped through the peep whole…. it was Shawn. I unlocked the door and opened it walking away.

“Would a ‘hey Shawn how you doing’…be way too much to ask?” I looked at him like I don’t really care who you are. “I guess so huh!”

“Daddy!” TiTi came running out of her room and into her dad’s arms. I leaned over the counter and watched, she loved her dad so much.

“Hey princess! How is school?”

“Good. miss you.” She said squeezing him around his neck. He laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

“I missed you too baby girl.” He glanced over at me and I rolled my eyes at him, “What’s that look for?”

“I’ll tell you later when we are by ourselves.” He tilted his head back.

“Where is Tasha?”

“In ha room.” TiTi said pointing out the obvious, “TASHA!”

“Alright now Ms. Ghetto!” I said walking back to the couch and getting back on my laptop. Tasha came walking out of her room in some cheerleading shorts and a camee.

“Hey dad.” She said in a boring tone as if she had just seen him. I smirked and Shawn looked at me.

“Hey sweetie, why the sad tone?”

“Oh no reason. But I’m going back to my room.”

“Wait hold up lil missy. Tell your father exactly what you told me in the car.” She shot me an evil glare. “Go ahead tell em.”

“Ok…daddy I have a boyfriend.”

“And..” I added.

“Mom!”

“Okay okay.” I said throwing up my hands and finishing what I was doing on my computer.

“And he’s really cute, he’s in the 11th grade.” I looked at Shawn’s facial expression and wanted to burst out into laughter.

“11th grade?? And on top of that I could’ve sworn I said no boyfriends until your 16, last time I checked your still 15!” He said in a calm but angry tone. “And what the hell is this?” He said pulling up her shirt and pointing to her belly button ring.

“Oh mom took me to get it!” I hid my face behind my laptop. She would rat me out like that.

“BEYONCE!”

“What Shawn, she’s my daughter too. Do I not have a say so in what our daughter does?? Or do you call all of the shots?”

“TiTi and Tasha go to your rooms.” He said staring at me; I rolled my eyes already knowing what this was going to turn into. A yelling battle like always. They walked to their rooms and it began. “ What the fcuk was you thinking letting a 15 year old get a damn belly ring?”

“I do not have to explain myself to you.”

“We get a divorce and you let the girl run wild! Do you even care what she does any more?” I looked at him like he was crazy; I rose up and sat my laptop on the couch. I walked up to him and wanted to slap the shit outta him.

“Are you questioning me being a mother?”

“Take it however you please.”

“If anything I should be questioning you!! This is the first time in three weeks you have seen your kids. And you want to question me. You can question my career, the things I buy, the way I dress, or whatever. But don’t you ever question me being a mother.”

“Well what the fcuk do you want me to suspect? Our daughter is dating a junior and she has a belly ring all at the age of 15. I’m surprised you not buying her booty skirts and tiny shirts.” I glared at him and turned on my heels letting him know I was done talking to him.

“Get out.” I said angry as hell. He didn’t hesitate he grabbed his keys off the counter and bounced. I sat on the couch and tilted my head back and sighed.

“Mommy otay?” I heard TiTi say and I sat up and picked her up and sat her on my lap.

“Mommy’s fine…thanks.” She laid her head on my chest and went to sleep. I kissed her head and rocked back and forth with her in my arms.

For some reason my life just wasn’t happy anymore. My life wasn’t exciting it was almost like it was just nothing. Financially I was more than stable, I have two beautiful girls that light up my world, wonderful family, I eliminated the problem by getting a divorce, I had wonderful friends, a fun job, and I had everything I wanted and more…. but happiness still lacked a place in my life.

I stayed up a while longer and drank some red wine and worked on the laptop. It was around 1 am when I finally decided to head to my bed. I went into Tasha’s room and turned her television off and kissed her on the cheek. I didn’t bother going to TiTi’s room because I knew she was in my bed. I walked in my room and I was correct, my television was set on The Cosby Show. I cut off my TV and got in the shower and slipped on my pajamas and slid underneath my covers. Immediately TiTi snuggled up to me and rested her head on my chest. I rubbed her back as we both fell asleep.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:27 pm

CHAPTER 2:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/stsl01_beyonce.jpg?t=1185057979)

I had just dropped the girls off at school and I had just arrived at work. Today was Thursday and hopefully it was a smooth day today at the office. No arguing, mostly with my mom, and no stressful deadlines. I sat in the parking lot and applied my make up; I was getting bags under my eyes from both stress and lack of sleep. I looked myself over in the mirror and go out and turned my alarm on.

“Mrs. Carter.” Our secretary Cindy greeted me. I gave her a warm smile.

“Good morning.” I said heading to the loft where all of our designs were placed. I typed in the code and the doors opened revealing my mom, Solange and TyTy. “Hey yall.” I said greeting them all with a hug and kiss.

“Hey b.itch.” TyTy said with the normal greeting, I gave him a fake smile.

“I’ll let that shit slide this morning.” I said playfully, he knew I loved him, “So let me see the new summer collection.” They showed it to me and it was hot, “This is hot. When are we going to release it to the stores?”

“Unfortunately this collection isn’t going to be released until next summer. This summer’s collection comes tomorrow.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would they send us the collection for next year and this year’s tomorrow?”

“I don’t know Bee.” Solange said, I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“Fcuk them I say that we do what we want, and we release this and bump them.”

“Bee.”

“What ma? I’m sick of them they not the boss we are, they lucky I don’t call they asses and curse they ass out.”

“Whew!! Looks like somebody had a rough night.” TyTy said joking, I laughed and hit him in his chest, “Ooh girl you gone fcuk around give my ass breast cancer.” We all laughed at him and that was the beginning of a very, very stressful day.
**
I got off of work around 2:15 and I knew that I was going to be late picking up the girls. For starters it took me about 15 minutes to get to Tasha’s school from the house and that’s not including 10 minutes or more of traffic.

“Ugh.” I sighed as I stopped due to traffic. I put my Chanel shades on and studied my freshly done French tip manicure. Thank God this traffic finally started moving because this California heat was about to drive me nuts. I pulled up to the front of the school and saw Tasha and this some boy hugging, I didn’t make anything of it until I saw them kiss. I chuckled to myself because this lil girl was bout to drive me nuts. She walked to the car like nothing happened.

“Wat up ma.” She said opening the door and getting in the car. I was staring at from the top of my shades, “What?”

“Lawd have mercy, nothing Tasha.” I pulled off and headed to TiTi’s daycare. I didn’t even bother asking Tasha I just got out the car and went to pick up my baby, “Hey sweetie.”

“Hey mommy!” She said running into me, I hugged her and picked her up. “Today was bad.”

“Why was it bad baby?” I said as I carried her to the car.

“Me don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Okay.” I said kissing her on the cheek and placing her in her booster seat in the back. “Before we go home we’re going to stop by Kelly’s.” I said not really caring if they wanted to go or not… but most likely they would. Kelly was the cool one, but she will pop off on you if needed.

(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/kelly-rowland.jpg?t=1185058506)

“Hey b.itches!” Kelly said greeting us as she opened her door.

“I don’t know about them, but I’m not a b.itch!” Tasha said and walked in the house. Her back was facing us and Kelly was about to snatch her lil ass up.

“Kelly, don’t do it baby!” I said laughing, even though I really wouldn’t mind if she did or not.

“Okay, I love you Tasha!” She said sarcastically, Tasha didn’t answer her back she just kept walking. “Hey lil mama.” She said bending down to TiTi’s level.

“Hey.”

“Aww you upset mamas?” She shook her head yes and walked in the house, “Bee what the hell is wrong with yo damn kids?”

“They get it from they trifling ass daddy.” I said making myself comfortable and kicking off my heels and laying on her couch, “Kelly come rub my feet.” I whined already knowing she wouldn’t do it.

“Ha, after all these years we’ve known each other I would think you would learn… I don’t touch corns and bunions.”

“I don’t have corns and bunions on my feet trick. Order some pizza or something Kelly. You are a terrible hostess.”

“B.itch I didn’t invite yo fat ass over here. Or your mean ass kids, you can order some pizza.” I got up and called Pizza Hut and ordered us all some pizza, see Kelly didn’t want to call but watch her ass eat some.

“Kelly your total is $27.69.” I yelled knowing I was gone end up paying. She just looked at me like I was crazy. I laughed and went and sat down next to her and laid my head on her shoulder.

“What you want heffa?”

”I can’t lay on your shoulder?”

“Yes you can booboo!” She said wrapping her arms around me. Kelly and I are the same age but she’s always been or felt like my big sister.

My phone started ringing and I knew it was none other than Shawn I could tell by the ring tone I assigned him.

“Hello?” I asked still laying on Kelly’s shoulder.

“Wat up?” He asked nonchalant.

“Uhh nothing.” I was still pissed off from the little argument we had last night so I didn’t know why he was calling me. “What do you want?” I said with an attitude.

“See Bee you always pullin that shit. I call to say sorry for yesterday and you got an attitude and shit. I aint got time fo dat.”

“You aint got time for nobody so I’m not surprised.”

“Oh so that’s why you actin like that? Cause I aint got time for you?”

“Nigga please. I don’t want you to have time with me; I want you to have time for your kids. You jack ass.”

“Oh so we on to the name calling now? I aint called you out of yo name, why you startin shit?” Kelly could hear every word and for starters she didn’t even like Shawn, so her hearing this wouldn’t make the situation any better.

“Nigga I don’t know who the fcuk you talking to like that. I’m not one of your lil groupies; you don’t talk to me like I’m so damn hoe. So fcuk you!” I yelled into the phone.

“Fcuk you too!” He screamed back and by then Kelly was hot and heated.

“Did he just say fcuk you too?”

“Yea I said it. Tell Kelly I said mind her own fcukin business, this aint got shit to do with her.”

“The hell you say. You aint bout to be yelling at her like she aint shit!”

“Yo ass the one that aint shit!!”

“Yea okay, but you’re a fcukin failure Shawn. You aint never been a father to those damn kids… you aint nothing but a failure just like your father!” She screamed.

“What the fcuk did she just say Bee? Huh? She said I’m like my father? Fcuk this! I’ll talk to you lata.” I hung up the phone on him and threw it across the room and it broke. I broke down and started crying.

“Bee baby don’t let him get to you like this!” She said bringing me to the couch and holding me in her arms as I cried.

“I hate him so much!” I cried into her shoulder. She rubbed my back and whispered to me. I kind of blacked out everything as I reminisced on me and Shawn’s relationship.

(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/beyonce_kelly_rowla_140845a.jpg?t=1185059444)

**FLASHBACK**

“Shawn stop!” I said as he chased me around the house with a water gun. He was getting revenge because I put a cup of ice into his shorts.

“Nope!” He yelled and I trapped myself in the corner in the kitchen. “You think it’s funny to put ice into my shorts?” He said laughing.

“No, baby I’m sorry!! Just please don’t wet me!” I said holding up my hands for mercy.

“Okay, okay. But at least let me wet you just a little bit.” He said biting down on his bottom lip I smiled sexily.

“Where?” He moved closer to me and sat the gun down.

“Right here.” He said placing his hand on my private area, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He picked me up and placed me on top of the counter, and it only got better from there.

**END 0F FLASHBACK**

I smiled to myself on the thought of how we used to have fun as a couple, but once fame entered his life it only got worse. I remembered the reason why we did get a divorce and it brought more tears to my eyes. I let a man get the best of me… every time.

*******

N0W F0R S0ME REAS0N I'M FEELING ALRIGHT T0DAY!! IDK...F0R S0ME REAS0N...S0 I'M GIVING Y0U GUYZ TW0 CHAPTERZ...Y I D0NT KN0W.L0L
BUT ENJ0Y!!!! ;D

CHAPTER 3:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/001-3.jpg?t=1185060341)(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/1046873655_l.jpg?t=1185060389)
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/747843.jpg?t=1185060438)

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off at 6:30 in the morning. Last night was a damn battle scene, I mean lines were crossed and things were being said that didn’t need to be said at all. Shawn did call me and tell me that he is sorry and that he didn’t mean to disrespect me in that manner. I forgave him only because it was the right thing to do but I sure as hell didn’t say sorry… I meant every word that I said dammit. I sighed and ran my hands through TiTi’s hair because she was still lying on top of me. Lord knows I hate waking up this early, but I had to take the kids to school and I had work. I placed TiTi off of me and made her lie down next to me on the bed. I got up and went in the bathroom and handled my hygiene. Next was to wake up Tasha.

“Tasha…. wake up baby girl!” I said shoving her lightly. She didn’t budge, that’s one of the things she picked up from her daddy. No matter what was going on it was hard as hell to wake them up.

“Momma no.” She whined and I sat down on her bed and pushed her once more. “What?”

“Get up before you get on punishment.” I said even though she knew it was a lie. She rose up and walked slowly to her bathroom and closed and locked the door. “You got till 7:45 to be done.” I walked back to my bedroom and TiTi was already up rubbing her eyes. “Come on baby.” I said picking her up and taking her to my bathroom to give her a bath.

After her bath I did her hair in some ponytails and got her dressed in her brand new outfit that her daddy bought her. He was good for buying things and dropping them off, but never being there when they needed him. But that was his life not mines, I’m there for my kids 24/7.

“Go tell your sister that we’re leaving the house in 10 minutes.” I said to TiTi as I finished putting on my heels. I was wearing a nice sundress with red and white polka dots. I wore my hair in loose waterfall curls.

“Otay.” She ran her little self out of my room and went into her big sisters room.

“Momma I’m ready, and your not.” Tasha said standing in my doorway. She was wearing one of our designs from Dereon, that hasn’t even made it to stores yet. That’s one of the benefits of having your mom, grandma, and aunt work with fashion design.

“I’m coming little girl go and get in the car with your sister…I’ll be there in a little while.” She rolled her eyes and turned around and walked out the door with TiTi following behind.

I know yall probably think that I just let Tasha get away with anything. But it wasn’t always like that, when Shawn and I started having problems in our marriage. Arguing constantly, I ended up leaving the house once and staying with Solange for about 2 weeks, leaving Shawn and the girls by themselves. I regret doing that 100%. And I know that I hurt them dearly. But once we announced that we were getting a divorce her whole life changed. Me and her used to hang out all of the time, talk about everything, and just really have a good time with one another. Now we are usually at each other’s throats.

I walked outside and got in the car, “Yall want breakfast?”

“Yea.” Tasha said and I looked in the rear view mirror to see what TiTi wanted.

“Yes.” I smiled and pulled into the McDonalds drive thru. I ordered what the wanted and I dropped off TiTi first. I pulled into the Tasha’s school and stopped the car for her to get out.

“Have a good day sweetie.” She looked out the window and stared hard at a group of girls that were standing in the front entrance. “Tasha you alright?”

“Uh yea.” She said unsure of herself. She looked back at me, “Momma do I have to go to school today?”

“Yea, it’s Friday the last day of the week you might as well.” She didn’t say anything she just stared at me and got out and slammed the door. I shook my head and pulled off. I headed off to the loft where we kept all of our House of Dereon and Dereon clothing.

“Hey Juju!” Solange said using the nickname people called me when I was a little girl, as I got older it disappeared…but unfortunately she held on to it.

“Hey Solo, hey momma!” I said giving her a hug. “How’s my Julez?”

“Still a bad ass.”

“He is not bad just misunderstood as a 2 year old.”

“Yea sure!”

“Alright let’s look at these designs.” My mom said. Working with my mom and my sister was always fun when I’m not stressed like yesterday, my ass was stressed today wasn’t as bad. I mean hell yea we worked each other’s nerve in the process but in the end we always had fun.

I was in the middle of looking over the designs and adding some things here and there when my cell phone started ringing, I looked at the screen on my sidekick3 and sighed…. it was Shawn. “Yes Shawn?” I asked irritated..

“Uh Tasha’s school called and said that we have to go up there. She was in a fight.”

“Shit. All right I’m on my way. Are you already there?”

“I’m on my way, bout to be there in like 10 minutes.”

“Okay, bye” I gathered my purse and keys, “I’m sorry yall. Tasha got into a fight at school and me and Shawn have to go up to the school.”

“Oh lord, well call me tonight.” Solange said and I gave them both a hug and kiss and put on my Chanelle shades and headed out to my car. I cranked up my car and headed off to the school. On the way to the school, I got pulled over in the school zone. Cop said I was doing 40 in the school zone. But me being beautiful I flirted my way out of it. I turned into the school and headed into the school building.

I walked into the office, and saw Shawn and Tasha sitting down. Tasha had her arms folded across her chest and Shawn was just sitting there awaiting my arrival. I sat on the other side of Tasha, not saying a word I was pissed.

“Mr. And Mrs. Carter can you two please come into my office?” We both rose and followed the principal into his office. We took a seat, “Alright as you all know Tasha was in a fight today. Now I’m not quite sure what happened but teachers witnessed the fight. It happened in 4th period. Now Tasha didn’t swing first but she hit first, at our school there is a no fighting policy. And since Tasha doesn’t have a record of fighting or in school suspensions or anything of that sort. I am only going to give her 3 days of OSS. The other girl will receive 5 days of OSS and a hearing.”

“Thank you sir.” I said shaking his hand. Shawn just nodded his head at the man. I looked at him weird, he didn’t have to do that. He just did it to get on my nerves; he could have shaken the man’s hand. The principal still had his hand out to shake Shawn’s.

“Naw I’m good, I don’t touch people’s hands…. you know how people don’t be washing they hands.” The principal gave a nervous laugh, and I gave him a fake smile. I hurriedly walked out of the office and gave a look to Tasha telling her to get up and let’s go. She got up and the three of us walked outside. “Tasha you coming to my house or ya moms?”

“Yours.” She said getting in my car.

“Shouldn’t you ride with him then?”

“No.” She said with an attitude and sat down and put her seat belt, I sighed and rolled my eyes and got in the car and drove off to my place. “Hurry up and pack your stuff.” I yelled at her and she stomped into her room and slammed her door. She is staying at her dad’s this weekend. He said she could because he knew that this whole weekend her and I would be going at it. In 15 minutes she came out carrying a small bag, she already had some clothes at Shawn’s. “Let’s go.” I said to her and we both walked out the apartment and headed out to my car.
**
I arrived at Shawn’s house and we both got out and walked in. He was in the kitchen getting a beer out of the fridge. She was about to walk away before I told her little tail to bring her ass back.

“Yes.” She asked sarcastically and sat down in a chair. I was already pissed and she was just adding more fuel to the fire.

“Now why the hell were you fighting?”

“I don’t have to tell you anything.” My eyes almost burst out of my head. She was getting away with this little attitude of hers for way too long.

“Tasha I don’t give a fcuk how mad you are at the world, you will not and I repeat you will not keep talking to me like I’m your little friend. I’m your mother, and your going to talk to me with respect.”

“Why?”

“Tasha!!” Shawn yelled, “Stop with the attitude. I’m being serious. Now answer her question.”

“The girl swung at me but missed and I hit her right dead in her mouth. What you wanted me to be a punk and walk away? A bi*ch move only you would pull.”

“I’ve had it with you Tasha. I’m sick and tired of your stank ass attitude. You walk around with your head up your ass thinking the world owes you. Yea I walked away from things in my life, but you don’t know shit about me.” I was so angry that I was on the verge of tears and knocking her upside her damn head.

“What is there to know about you mom?? Your beautiful, rich, and you still have your parents together. Wow you have it bad dontchu?”

“Your beautiful, and your parents are wealthy and provide you and your sister with everything yall want and need. And my parents weren’t always together. I’ve been through some shit in my life that nobody will imagine. And I’ve done my best to look past that. But at the end of the day shit happened to me and I will be scarred for life. Me and your dad being divorced is nothing compared to the hell I’ve been through.” I spat at her with tears streaming down my cheeks. I turned around and left his house and got in my car and headed to TiTi’s daycare.

“Hey momma.” She said running into my legs. I rubbed her back and grabbed her hand.

“Hey baby, how was daycare?”

“Fun.” I looked down at her and smiled. I opened her car door and she got in and I got in the car also. I drove home and made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “We go swimming?”

“Yea. Go put on your bathing suit, the one I bought you okay.” She nodded her head and I went in my room and changed into my House of Dereon bathing suit. I could use a tan anyways; I grabbed my shades and sun block lotion for TiTi. We both walked out to the pool. I sat our things down and we both got in the shallow end, since she couldn’t swim yet.

“No let go.” She said holding on tighter to my neck as I walked towards the deeper end. I leaned in and gave her a kiss on the lips.

“I’m not.” I stopped in 5 ft and this child’s grasp on me wasn’t getting any looser. She was holding on for dear life.

“Mommy!” She whined. And I started laughing because I let go of her but she was still holding on to me. But she felt herself sliding down.

“I’m not letting you go baby okay.”

“Otay.” She splashed some water on my face and thought it was the funniest thing in the world. I smiled and splashed her back but not a lot of water. But this girl acted like I dunked her under the water. She started gasping for air. “Can’t breathe!” I smirked and brought her to the side of the pool and sat her down on the edge while I was still in the water.

“Stop.” I said wiping off of her face with the towel. “Look your fine…look.” I said assuring her to open her eyes and breathe regularly.

“No more mommy!” She said pouting and poking out her bottom lip upset with the fact that she got water splashed in her face.

“I sorry.” She leaned in and gave me a kiss and patted me on the cheek.

“I give you.”

“Come on and sit with mommy while I get a tan okay.” I lifted myself out of the pool. I felt a pair of eyes on my backside and turned around once I got out and saw this sexy man looking at me as if he just came into contact with God. I gave him a warm smile and grabbed TiTi’s hand and we walked over to the lawn chairs. I put my shades on and relaxed while the sun beamed down on my body. It was a real relaxing day especially since I already had an argument with Tasha.

I was used to the sun beaming down on my body and when I suddenly felt shade I took off my shades to see the reason why. I slowly removed my shades and saw the same man that was staring a whole through my butt. I cracked a smile at him.

“Yes?” I asked kind of irritated.

“Ouch, a lady with an attitude. I like it.” I stared at him not really amused, “This your sister?” He said referring to TiTi who was coloring. I know I looked young but damn. I’m used to people thinking that me and Tasha being sisters but a three year old and me…. psh.

“I’ll take it you were trying to be funny?” I said adding extra emphasis on trying. He smirked.

“No, I knew she was your daughter. I was just saying you look really young to have a daughter.” I looked at him confused, meaning that he wasn’t really making his situation any better. “How bout I just give you my number and leave.” I gave him a fake smile, and he gave me a piece of paper with his name and number. His name was Maurice; I’ll admit he was a cutie. But not for me, I don’t want another prince charming. But I did know who he would look really good with…Michelle. “Don’t forget to call.”

“Okay I won’t.” I put the paper under my phone and finished enjoying my tan. Right when I started enjoying it again my phone started ringing. The ring tone was Pop, Lock and Drop It so I knew it was a text message. I reached over and grabbed it, Shawn’s face flashed on my screen and I flipped my phone open and read the message.

‘Let me take you out tonight.’ I smirked and pressed reply.

‘R u drunk or something?’ I pressed send and sat my phone next to me on my seat.

‘Naw. Just because we r divorced means I can’t take you out tonight?’

‘No, but you never wanted to take me out ‘til now?? Hmm sounds kind of fishy. U tryna get some tonight?’ I joked with him and knowing him he would reply saying yes.

‘If your offering then yea. But no that’s not it. I just want us to hang, so is it a yes or no?’

‘Yes Shawn.’

‘Okay I’ll come and get you at 8, wear something sexy.’

‘Bye Shawn.’ I smirked and lay back down with a smile on my face.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:28 pm

CHAPTER 3:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/020-1.jpg?t=1185310704)(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/dg4bo8er3sa6.jpg?t=1185310909)

Honestly I still do love Shawn, I mean I always will and always have. Even while we were arguing I still loved him. He has one of those personalities that could make you just enjoy being in his presence. He is so goofy, but sensitive at the same time. He loved everybody and never held a grudge against anyone. Yea we argued but that was because he was irresponsible and didn’t have his priorities straight. But nonetheless did I love him; I just can’t be married to him.

I just don’t want our little outing to confuse our kids. I mean I know that they do want to see us together again, and actually happy. But right now us being together is far from my mind, I just view this as a friendly outing. Nothing more and nothing less.

**
“Tierra stop it okay! I said I’ll be back now quit.” I said getting ready and looking at her through my mirror. She was upset because both Shawn and I were going out and Tasha was going to be left in charge. “Come here.” I said to her as she lay on my bed looking pitiful, I felt bad but then again I didn’t because I needed to have fun too. “Do you want mommy to be happy?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then mommy has to go out and have fun too, okay.”

“Otay.” I kissed her on her forehead.

“Now go put your pajamas on before your dad and Tasha get here.” She ran off the bed and into her room. In 10 minutes Shawn and Tasha were walking through the door. “Hey.” I said walking in the kitchen where they were. Shawn looked at me in awe. I shook my head and looked at Tasha. “Hey.”

“Hey mom.” She said politely, I was a little shocked to actually hear her say something to me without all the attitude and sarcasm. Shawn must’ve done some talking to her, I don’t know how because it’s just like a blind person teaching another blind person sign language.

“Beyonce you look…oh my God, amazing!” He said admiring what he used to have. I wore a white dress by House of Dereon; once again it hasn’t hit the stores yet.

“Thanks.” I checked him out in his outfit he was looking sharp. But I wasn’t going to let him know that, “Tasha there’s money on the counter just in case you want to order pizza or whatever, but don’t leave this house. Nor let anybody in here.”

“Okay.”

“TiTi come here!” Shawn yelled and Tierra came running out of her room, “Bye princess.”

“Bye daddy.”

“Bye baby girl.” I said giving her a kiss on the forehead and then going over to Tasha and kissing her head. “Bye.” She gave me a warm smile and Shawn and I left. “Where exactly are we going?” I asked as we cruised around in his 07 Bentley Azure.

“Just relax, wit yo sexy self.”

“Don’t start.” I joked with him and he chuckled, “So how has work been for you?”

“Uh it’s been great. How bout you?”

“It’s perfect everything is going good.” He smiled at me and we drove to this restaurant in Beverly Hills called The Taj. It was a really well known restaurant with celebrity’s, well people with money. We parked valet and Shawn came around to open my door. “Thanks.”

“Anything for such a beautiful lady.” I smiled at him and he took my arm in his as we walked into the restaurant. “Reservations under Carter.”

“Yes, please follow me.” The waitress said as she held two menus in her hand and led us to our seats. “I will return in a little bit to take your orders. But would you guys like to order drinks now?”

“Yes, I’ll have a glass of crystal and red wine for the lady.”

“Ok, I’ll be right back.” Shawn nodded his head and faced his attention back to mines.

“You remembered.”

“What?”

“The wine that I drink, I thought that maybe you would’ve forgotten.”

“Beyonce we were married for 14 years, how could I forget?”

“I don’t know. I mean you weren’t around as much and I didn’t think that….”

“Let’s talk about something else. But before we do, I got one question.” I gave him the okay look to go on, “Why did you want a divorce on a serious note?”

“Shawn, you and I both know that you weren’t responsible. You had other things in life that you thought were far more important than having a wife and a family. We got married young and on top of that had Tasha before we got married; it was just bad from the jump off. And you made it hard for me to trust you, your Jay Z. You have all the groupies around and it was just way too much.”

“I’m sorry.” He said with apologetic eyes.

“It’s okay, well it’s not okay but were past that. Right?” I said taking a sip of my wine. He smiled and took a sip of his drink with our eyes connected. “Stop.”

“Stop what looking at you? I can’t help the fact that you are so beautiful.” I blushed and turned away, “Ha and the old man is still able to make the lady blush!” He yelled but not loud, just loud enough for everybody around us to hear.lol.

“Shawn why are you so loud?” I asked laughing, “Gosh I hate it when you do that.”

“Whatcha gonna do?” He said in his best Rev Run voice. I laughed at him and our conversation continued. When the food came out we ate with small chat, “You ready?” He said throwing his napkin on his empty plate.

“Yea.”

“Check please.” The waitress came over with the bill and Shawn paid it and left a tip and we both went outside. “You cold?” He asked noticing how I was shivering a bit from the strong summer breeze.

“No I’m okay.” He knew that I was lying and took off his jacket and placed it around my shoulders, “You never did listen.”

“I know I should get a spanking.” He said poking out his butt at me and I slapped it, “Oooh one more time.”

“You are so silly.” I said as his car pulled up and he opened my door and ran over to his side.

“So you wanna head back home?”

“Yea, you had anything else in mind?”

“Naw, we can go back to your place…. I know that the kids probably miss you.” He said with a slight attitude.

“Shawn stop.”

“Stop what?” He chuckled and I playfully hit him in his arm. “Ouch you always were the abusive type.”

“Oh whateva.” I said as he drove to my apartments. “So what exactly did you tell Tasha?” I said as we walked up to my apartment.

“Uh I told her that she needs to respect you more, because you’re her mother and some people don’t have a mom and that’s she’s lucky to have you.”

“Hmm.” We both chuckled as we walked inside my apartment and saw Tasha and TiTi on the couch knocked out. “You get Tasha I get TiTi.”

“You would pick her.” He picked up Tasha how, I couldn’t even tell you but he did. I tucked TiTi in her bed knowing that later on that night she would be in mines anyways. “Well thank you very much Shawn for tonight.”

“No problem. It was a well needed outing for the both of us.” I gave him a hug and he left.

“Mommy!” I heard TiTi yell walking down the hallway, I sighed and walked to pick her up.

“What mommas?” I said holding her as she rubbed her eyes. “Why you wake up?” She shrugged her shoulders and I walked her to my room. “Lay down, mommy’s gonna put her pajamas on k.”

“K.” She said cuddling up to my pillow and closing her eyes. I changed into some boy shorts and a tank top. I walked into my bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my make up off and got in bed next to TiTi.

“Ti scoot over!!” She moved over a little bit, “Little girl you gone have to stop coming in my bed.” I said knowing that I loved having her sleep with me in my bed. I turned over and my eyelids shut.
**
“Mom!” Tasha whined following me around the house until she got the answer that she wanted to hear.

“What Tasha?” I asked annoyed.

“Can I go?”

“First of all, I never met the boy in my life. Secondly did you ask your dad?”

“Well you can meet him when you drop me off. And you know if I ask dad then he is gonna say no.”

“So why ask me?” She rolled her eyes at me, “Didn’t your dad talk to you about being rude yesterday?”

“That was yesterday. Today is different.”

“Get outta my face.” I said before I was tempted to slap the taste out of her mouth. “Go to your room, I’m not playing with you…. Go now!”

“Whatever.” She said walking away and I said a little prayer to myself. I needed a break badly from these kids. Especially Tasha, I love her but I have never hit her and I think that’s the problem now. She was never disciplined as a kid and that’s why she is the way she is now. I finally felt the need to go in her room and give her a piece of my mind. Yesterday’s tantrum that I had was nothing. I walked in her room and she was on the phone, “Mom knock.” She yelled.

“No, you shut the hell up…. this is my damn house. Get off that damn phone.”

“Ma…”

“Get off!” I yelled and she said bye to whomever she was talking to and hung up. “I’m tired of it Tasha. I thought you changed yesterday. I’ve put up with your stank ass attitude for way too long, when I say too long I mean it. You act just like your daddy.”

“Don’t compare me to him.”

“I compare you to whomever the hell I feel like comparing you too. You got your damn nose in the air for no apparent reason.”

“You don’t know nothing about me.” She yelled at me, and I wanted to slap her aside her head.

“And you don’t know shit about me!!”

“It’s not too much to know. You married my dad for his money; you hate me, and your all of a sudden rich. Wow!”

I looked at her angrily, “First of all I was with your dad when he wasn’t nothing. Money was the last thing I wanted from him, I wanted his love. And how could you f.ix your mouth to say that I hate you? When all these years all I did was love you and your sister. Provide you with everything you wanted and needed without hesitation. You think if you lived with your dad your life would be any better?”

“It would be better than living in this prison!”

“You know nothing about living in prison. You know what I’m gonna tell you a story.” I sat on her bed and faced her, “When I was about 10 years old, my mom and dad separated. My dad took everything money, cars, house, everything. He left my mom and me and Solange homeless. My mom met this guy named Cedrick, he was a pimp and my mom was his ho. One day Solange and me were outside playing and I walked in the house and I heard mom and Cedrick arguing. She kept saying, ‘I’ll do it, just don’t leave. I was really confused. Then she came up to me and gave me a bath. She did my hair, put me in nice clothes, and put make up and perfume on me. She told me to just go along with it, and I was young and naïve so I had no clue as to what was about to happen to me. She sat me on the bed and left. Cedrick came in the room and he…he raped me.” I was in tears just repeating my past, Tasha looked at me in shock, “And constantly my mom would let him beat me…. as long as he stayed was what she would say when he was done beating me. I promised myself that I wouldn’t take shit from nobody else, no matter who it was.”

“But you forgave her?” She asked in disbelief.

“Yea I did. I forgave her; my conscious wouldn’t let me move on with my life if I didn’t. She promised me that she would never bring it up. I forgave her yes, but forgotten never.”

“And you forgave poppop?”

“Yes I did.”

“But you didn’t forgive my dad?”

“My relationship with your dad was different, he on the other hand had way too many chances!! But I don’t want to get into that. Just know that I do love your dad so much, I honestly do. But I don’t think me and your dad will work, we’re just friends.”

“I’m sorry mom.” I honestly wanted to believe her but something in my gut was telling me that it wasn’t the last of this. I gave her a hug and kissed her forehead.

“I forgive you. I love you Tasha and don’t forget that okay.”

“Okay.”

Sat May 15, 2021 7:28 pm

CHAPTER 4:
SHAWN’S P0V
((THE DiV0RCE))

A lot of yall probably are thinking what happened to Beyonce, and me and why we are not married any more. For starters we got together when she was 16 and I was 17, she got pregnant at 18 and we got married when she was 19. We were really young and didn’t really know anything about one another; we thought we were in love. Keyword is thought. I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and moved to LA. I met Beyonce through a friend and we clicked from that point on. She moved from Houston, Texas to come and stay with me when she turned 17. I was a drug dealer ever since I was 13; the streets became my second family. When Beyonce turned 18 she got pregnant and had Tasha. The next year we got married, and I was only 20 years old. Yea I proposed to her but deep down I wasn’t ready to settle down. I was determined to become a rapper, and you know what happens when you become famous…. you got groupies. I was never at home, trying to get a record deal…and spending time with the boys on the streets. We were constantly arguing I mean constantly all the time. I think I cheated on her about 5 times and those are the ones she caught me on, I’ve done it more than that. But she continually took me back. Our marriage was hopeless but we stayed together for the sake of Tasha.

When she turned thirty she had Tierra. We were going to file for a divorce before we found out she was pregnant but decided to try and work things out for the sake of TiTi. That’s where the mistake happened right there. We were trying to make this relationship work for the sake of the kids forgetting to try and make ourselves happy in the process. I was a well-respected established rapper and I wasn’t worried about wifey back at home. If a lady wanted to give it up, then hell it wasn’t a problem with me. Last year was our worst argument ever, and that was when we officially called it quits.
**FLASHBACK**

“Shawn I’m tired of it.” She yelled getting in my face; I had just come in the house at around 3 in the morning drunk.

“What Bee? Tired of what?” I yelled back at her. “Tired of me? Is that it huh?”

“Get the fcuk out of my face Shawn!” She shoved me, “You know what?” She said about to walk out of the door. But I ran and shut it.

“What?”

She had tears streaming down her cheeks, and her eyes were puffy and red, “You’re a fcukin failure…. you’re a failure Shawn. You have two kids and a wife you have a damn responsibility!! I have been unhappy for so long, so long. While your out doing your thang, sleeping around… I’m unhappy!”

“So your still unhappy huh?? I buy you and the girls everything that yall could possibly want and need. I work hard to give yall what yall need! And you pull this shit?”

“Shawn I don’t need material things. We needed you! Do you know what it feels like to have our kids come in my room in the middle of the night asking for their daddy? When I know he’s out with some ho getting laid?”

“So what do you want me to do? Change my lifestyle? I’ve been like this for years, and now you want to speak up?”

“You know what…. you don’t have to change a got damn thing!! Just don’t be surprised when you see that I’m no longer here.” I was drunk already and she wasn’t making the situation any better by pushing my buttons.

“You leaving me?” She looked at me in fear. “YOU LEAVING ME?” I yelled causing her to jump.

“No I’m not leaving, I’m doing something I should’ve done a long ass time ago. I’ve tried to stay down with you but your making it hard on me, so I’m going to give you what you want. I’m going to take the girls and WERE going to get out of the situation, call it leaving you if you’d like… I’m not leaving you. You decided to leave us!”

“You are not taking my kids away from me Bee!” I yelled at her so angry that TiTi woke up screaming. She shook her head at me and walked to her bedroom. “Beyonce stop it!” I yelled trying to stop her from walking.

“Shawn move.” She pushed past me and ran in TiTi’s bedroom. “Come on baby mommy’s here.”

“Give her here!” I said reaching for her but Beyonce moved.

“Shawn stop!” Tierra’s cries got louder and louder causing Tasha to wake up.

“Mom, dad what’s going on.”

“Tasha get your things and lets go.”

“NO BEYONCE YOU ARE NOT TAKING THEM AWAY FROM ME!”

“Mom what’s going on?”

“Let’s go!” She yelled as she got Tierra’s bag and tried to walk out the door but I blocked the doorway.

“STOP IT OKAY!! GIVE ME TITI.”

“SHAWN GET OUT OF THE WAY!” I didn’t budge and she tried to push past me. “Tasha here take your sister and go to the car.” She handed Tasha TiTi and Tasha ran to the car as she was told.

“You think you just gone up and leave that easy huh?” I said with a cold tone.

“Shawn let’s not take this shit outta hand. I’m not gonna put up a fight with you. Get a life.” Next thing I know my hand comes into contact with her face. I knew that I was drunk, but this wasn’t something that I would do no matter how drunk I was. I realized what had just happened I did the number one thing that made the difference between a man and punk. “Oh my God. What the fcuk did I just do?” I said pacing around with my hands on my head. She lay on the floor crying with her hands covering her face. “I’m sorry Bee.”

“Don’t fcukin touch me.” She said scooting away. I reached for her and she picked up a very expensive vase and threw it dead at me.

“Fcuk!” I held my head, “Beyonce I’m sorry please just don’t leave me.” She picked herself off of the ground and got ready to walk out of the door, “Bee.” She gave me the coldest look known to man.

“The divorce papers will be sent to you.” She said before closing the door and leaving me in a lonely house.

Yea I regret doing all of the things that I did possible to hurt her or my girls. But Shawn and Jay Z are two different people. Jay Z is really arrogant and doesn’t really give a damn about anything or anybody except for himself. But at heart he is really kind and sincere. But Jay Z is really immature and has a lot of growing to do. Now Shawn is the family guy, he’s goofy and hilarious and loving. Shawn doesn’t really make an appearance too often, as he should. But I do, do my best to make his presence known on certain occasions.

That night will always scar me because I labeled myself as a woman beater. Even though I only hit her once, it was something that I promised myself I would never do. And I let alcohol get the best of me, I blame the fact that I did hit her on the fact that I was drunk because if I was not intoxicated then none of that would’ve happened. But I was just like my father, somebody that I hated with a passion and promised myself that I would always come out better. My father was in jail for life for murder, he killed my mom. He had a temper that would make the devil scared; he beat my siblings and me. And my mom, and that is why she is no longer with us…. he just took it way too far.

I love Beyonce and my girls so much I would give up everything in my power to make them happy. Because for some time now I haven’t been happy. Yea I have all of the riches in the world, my name ((Jay Z)) has so much power. But I’m ready to act mature and do what’s right for me and my daughters. I can’t promise that Beyonce and I would ever get back together ever again. But I do love her a lot, but that’s something that cannot be stopped when you’ve been with someone for 16 years, shared two beautiful girls and once had a marriage; it’s not something you can just let go and forget about and stop loving.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:28 pm

CHAPTER 5:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
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Today was Sunday and I dreaded getting out of the bed. I had a long week and I was hoping that Shawn would have the kids this week so I could just relax. But it seemed like my plan didn’t work. I turned to my left and looked at the clock it was 10:37am. I turned to my right to see a knocked out TiTi. It was too early to wake up so I closed my eyes and the moment that I did I heard loud voices. It couldn’t have been Kelly, Michelle or Solange because they weren’t coming until 8, and plus they don’t wake up this early for nobody. I sighed and put my robe on and walked out the room to see who it was. I walked into the living room and was highly upset. I saw Tasha and her friends, Sasha, Alexes, and Kaije.

“Hey Mrs. Carter!” All three girls said in unison, I gave them a warm smile.

“Hey girls…. Uh Tasha let me talk to you for a sec.” I said walking back to my room and she told her girls that she would be right back, and walked to my room. “Tasha why in the world do I wake up to loud ass girls in my house?”

“Because you were sleeping when I wanted to ask if they could come over, and I didn’t want to wake you so I just said yes.”

“Why in the world are they here so early?”

“Because if they came later then there was a possibility that you would say no they can’t come over. So if they came in the morning, then you couldn’t say no, because you were going to be sleep.” I looked at her with a blank expression, “Smart thinking huh?”

“No… not really.”

“And we want you to take us to City Walk.”

“Tasha you sure are asking a lot.”

“Momma please. I won’t ask for nothing else, today.” I looked at her like yea right, “Okay maybe for right now.”

“So you got your own money, you don’t need mines right?”

“Well….”

“Both your dad and I give you plenty of money a week, how in the world do you spend 5,000 dollars in one month. You’re a teenager. You don’t pay bills, so how in the world do you spend that much?”

“Momma, remember you took me shopping on Melrose!”

“And you spent all that damn money?”

“They had a sale.” I rolled my eyes at her, “So are you going to take us?”

“Get out and give me 2 hours.”

“2 hours!”

“Yea, you in a rush?”

“Uhh no.”

“Get out, and keep it down before you wake up my baby!” She left and I got back in the bed. I did not feel like being bothered with no teenagers today especially my own, so why in the hell would I want to be bothered with three more? I closed my eyes again next my phone started ringing. “Ugh, dammit!” I looked at my screen and it was Shawn, he better have had a damn good reason for calling me in the morning. “Hello?” I asked irritated.

“Hey watchu doin?”

“Shawn yo ass called me to see what I’m doin?”

“Period?” I sighed because this nigga knew I was on my period, he always knew.

“Yea.”

“I knew it, but you were just on my mind so I decided to give you a ring. But I see you are irritated so forget it.” He said about to hang up.

“Sorry Shawn, its just Tasha is asking me to take her and all of her friends to the damn city walk. And I know that if I take TiTi with me then she is gonna want to stay, and I really don’t have any time for that.”

“Well if I was in town I would come and pick up TiTi.”

“Weren’t you just out here last night?”

“Yea this morning around 7 I had to head out to New York, but the real reason I had called was to ask you what did we have planned for Tierra’s birthday?”

“I don’t know, but how bout I call you when I’m fully awake.”

“Okay.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” I hung up with him and finally went back to sleep, it wasn’t no more than 10 minutes before I was awoke again.

“Mommy!” I sighed and looked at TiTi in her eyes.

“Yes sweetie?”

“You sleep?” She asked sitting on my stomach.

“I guess I’m not anymore right. Go to your room and I’ll be in there in a minute to give you a bath.”

“Otay.” I went in my bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth and went and got TiTi ready.

“Mom I thought you said you will be ready in two hours!” Tasha complained as I walked through the living room to go to Tierra’s room.

“Tasha don’t rush me.” I gave her a fake smile and she gave one back. “Come on TiTi.” I got her in the bathtub and got her dressed then went in my room and did the same thing. I had on some shorts that were kind of short but I know my limits. And I had on a halter-top by Dereon and some flats. “Come on yall before I change my mind.” I joked with them and we headed to my cars.

“Mom what car are we taking?”

“Tasha what do you think? You think all these people are gonna fit in a Mercedes and a range rover?”

“I guess were riding in the escalade!” I gave her a fake smile and they got in the car.

“I forgot my wallet I’ll be right back.” I walked back to the apartment and grabbed my wallet off of the counter and walked back to the car. When I got in my music was bumpin and the station was changed completely, it was one of Tasha’s CD’s. “Tasha what did I tell you about messing with my car?” I asked backing out.

“I forgot.”

“You want me to make you remember?”

“Naw I’m good.” I shook my head and got on the freeway. The whole thirty-five minutes on the road I heard loud obnoxious gossip. Everything from who the ho is at the school, to who slept with who. I was more than happy when we arrived at Universal Studios.

“Alright hurry up and get the hell outta my car!” I joked with them.

“Thank you Mrs. Carter.” The girls said in unison. I looked back and smiled at them.

“Your welcome, call me when yall are ready.”

“Mommy can we stay?” TiTi asked and I knew she was going to do this to me.

“Ti.”

“Pwease!!”

“Oh God, only for a minute TiTi.”

“Are you serious mom? I don’t want yall staying here!”

“Child aint nobody gonna be worried about you. Here take this and don’t spend it just because you have it.” I said handing her a one hundred dollar bill.

“Come on yall.” The four of them walked off and I went and got Tierra out of the car.

“Come on lil bit.” I grabbed a hold of her hand and we walked around and went in some of the souvenir shops. I bought her a couple of things. Some paparazzi followed me around asking me how Jay Z is, I wanted to say hell I don’t know ask him but I just ignored them.

“Damn ma.” This man said to me as me and TiTi walked into a store. I glanced at him and he was looking so raggedy I didn’t even want to give him the time of day.

“Excuse me?”

“I was just saying, you got an ass outta this world!! I don’t see how Jay could give it up just like that.” I wanted to say something smart but I kept my cool. I just smiled and kept it pushing. We walked around for another 2 hours.

“Okay TiTi let’s go tell your sister that were leaving.” She was walking too slowly so I picked her up and we walked around looking for her. “Shit where is she?”

“Over there mommy!” She pointed to where Tasha was. I turned around as saw her hugged up with some boy.

“Aww hell naw.” As I was walking over I saw them kiss. My blood was boiling I was beyond heated. As I got closer to them her friends were trying to tell her to stop but it was too late. “Tasha go to the car.” I stated firmly but calm, I wanted to embarrass her so bad but I didn’t. “Girls go to the car, we’re leaving.” I left and the three of them followed behind in silence. We got in the car and the whole car ride was silent, I dropped all of the girls off at home and headed to my place. “TiTi go to your room.”

“Nooo.”

“GO!” I yelled at her and she went marching off to her room.

“Mom…”

“No I’ve done enough listening, now I’m gonna talk. I let you have the freedom that you want and let you go to City Walk with your friends.”

“But you were there.”

“I’m glad I was, I could just imagine what the hell would happen if I wasn’t. Your picture would have been all over magazines; Jay Z’s daughter goes wild at City Walk. Don’t you have any respect for yourself?”

“Respect? You’re the one wearing little booty shorts; all my friends do is talk about how sexy you look. Now let’s talk about self respect!”

“I can’t control what your friends say, and I really could care less. But I have respect for myself, I’m not out in public making out with some boy.”

“That boy is my boyfriend.”

“Yall have been dating for what two days, and yall walling out like that? Wow Tasha good job!!”

“I thought you changed.” She stated coldly, “You said you forgave me and that you loved me, was that all a lie?”

“And I thought you changed Tasha!! My love for you is unconditional, I love you regardless of the things you do so please don’t bring up that!! I really don’t know what to do with you; I see that I can’t give you any freedom. I don’t trust you, and once a person loses my trust its like hell trying to gain it back.”

“So you don’t trust your own daughter?”

“How can I? Your outrageous, and you don’t make it any better by choosing the friends you hang around with.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my friends.”

“Oh really, last time I checked Kaije` loud ass cursed out the principal because he told her she looked nice!!”

“Go to hell.” She spat at me, and I promised myself that I would never hit my kids but for her I made an exception. I slapped her across her face; she went flying on the couch.

“I am not one of your little friends!” I yelled at her and she was on the couch holding her face. “Now get up and go to your room.” She did as I said. I was so pissed I didn’t know what to do to calm me down. I called my girls and they said that they would come over.
**
“Tasha sure does remind me of somebody that I know.” Kelly said eyeing me down. I gave her the are you kidding me look. “Beyonce you mean to tell me that you wasn’t walling out when you were 15 years old?”

“Okay maybe just a little bit, but never like this. I had my moments, but I still respected my mom and myself. I made a mistake by getting pregnant so young but I don’t regret it. And I’m just trying to prevent her from making the same mistakes I did.”

“Bee you can only help people that want to be helped.” Michelle said sipping on her red wine, as we all sat down on the couch talking and drinking.

“Yall don’t understand this is my daughter, I can’t give up on her. I wont let myself. I am going to teach her a lesson though.”

“And what the hell is that?” Solange asked.

“If her attitude doesn’t change and she thinks she’s so grown and adult like, adults have jobs and pay bills. I’m telling yall my patience is running on empty with that lil girl.”

“You are not doing that to my niece!” Michelle joked and I nodded my head. “Hmm I can’t wait to see this.”

“Yep, I would give her a regular job but that would give the media something to talk about. ‘Beyonce and Jay Z’s daughter got put out the house now she’s working at McDonalds.’ I can see it now. So I’ll just give her a job at the office, she better change it up before she’s working with her dear ol mom.”

“That shit is gonna be funny.” Solange said. “Oh yea before I forget, Chelle and Kelly yall wanna got to go to this party for Tiearra Marie next Friday?”

“Now when have I ever turned down a party?” They both said in unison and we all laughed and had a good time just like we used to before kids and careers got in the way. And we stopped hanging around like the old times.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:28 pm

CHAPTER 6:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
FRIDAY NiGHT
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I took the kids to my parent’s house tonight because of the party. Shawn claimed he was busy. Now that’s the second week he said he couldn’t take the girls, I’d love to hear his excuse this time… but we were on good terms as far as keeping everything civil, so I just left it alone and took his word that he was busy. I was meeting the girls there at the party, well except for Solange she was riding with me.

“Shit I forgot to give TiTi her medicine.” I said as we sat in the back of the Bach, see this is the first time in a while I have ever went out without my kids. I will admit I was a little paranoid.

“Juju calm down aight, I’m sure mom knows to give it to her.”

“Just let me call and make sure.”

“Beyonce Giselle Knowles! Stop it okay. Mom knows I’m sure. Just relax and have a good time tonight with your girls. Tasha and lil mama are fine.” I took a deep breath and put my cell phone back into my purse.

“Okay fine. I’ll relax but the moment I get a call from any of them I’m gone.”

“Beyonce. Relax.” I sat back in my seat and tried to take in what my little sister was saying, “Julez is only two years old and you don’t see me acting like you…. just relax.”

“Ok, I’m relaxed.” We came to a stop and the driver came to open my door and we both got out. I couldn’t even step out of the car before paparazzi went crazy.

“Beyonce did you know Jay Z is here? Are you guys still friends? Is there a chance that you guys will get married again?” All types of questions were being thrown at me I smiled at Solange and she shook her head.

“See the shit I go threw?” I chuckled and we posed together for some pictures and then headed on inside. I took it that Kelly and Michelle haven’t arrived yet because we were meeting up in VIP. “Them b.itches still aint here.” I said as we sat down and ordered drinks.

“Hey b.itches!” I heard Kelly say and I smiled at her as I put my martini down. “Ooh yall look too sexy honey!” She joked as we gave her and Chelle a hug.

“Bee did you know that Shawn was here?”

“Yea paparazzi told me. And he said he was busy!” I said rolling my eyes, how are you so busy… but you can go to a party? He better hope I don’t see him tonight.

“I was.” I heard him say and I turned around to see my ex husband looking sexier than ever. He had on an all white suit with a black button up shirt. And some shades, he was looking sexy. But I was too upset with him to let any emotion show, I just looked him up and down and gave him a frown. “Hey ladies.”

“Hey Shawn.” They all said in unison except for Kelly, and me I was pissed at him and Kelly… well she never did like the nigga.

“When I said ladies…. I kind of meant you too Bee.” I glared at him and turned around, “Oh so that’s what’s up? I’m tryna talk to you but you wanna turn your back?”

“Shawn please, I’m not tryna argue with you at no party.” He smacked his lips and walked away.

“Damn Bee you really aint in the mood tonight huh?” Michelle asked as she sipped on her apple martini.

“I’m sick of hearing his bullshit, first he tells me that he’s out of town and couldn’t take the girls now he’s at a party. He’s getting too old for that.”

“Well tonight is not about Shawn so let’s forget about him and have a good ass time.” We all toasted to that and we started talking and drinking more and more.

“Yall gotta promise me that yall won’t let me drink too much.” Now when I get drunk, I’m a whole nother person. I do things that are out of this world, my mom thinks I’m an alcoholic… but trust me I’m not!

“Shit before or after I’m drunk?” A tipsy Kelly said, I rolled my eyes and I felt a lil buzz coming on. “Girl we came to have fun not worry about getting drunk you is here to have fun!” With that being said I took a shot, and they laughed. “Now lets go dance!” We all grabbed each other’s hands as we all headed over to the dance floor.

The DJ was playing the hottest music out right now, the party was bangin. I was a little drunk but that didn’t stop me from having the best time I have ever had in a long time with my girls. I’ll admit when I get drunk I start doing things that I wouldn’t do when I’m sober. And what was about to happen I don’t think that I had any control over it.

“Shawn come here baby!” I said pulling on him by his arm. He looked at me confused due to the fact that I was just upset with him and just dissed him.

“Bee your drunk stop it.” He said it but I knew he didn’t mean it because he didn’t stop me from dancing up on him. I swear I was working him like I was a damn stripper, I didn’t even think that I could dance like that. But I was drunk and I’m sure if I were sober I wouldn’t have been all over him like that. I felt him getting a lil hard in the pants, I’ll admit it was quite enjoyable…. but like I said I was drunk.

The song ended and for some apparent reason I was feeling Shawn like for real. I don’t know what came over me. But I turned around in his arms and our faces inched closer and closer together until our lips touched. Drunk or not I enjoyed the long passionate kiss that we shared. I pulled back and stared deep into his eyes and just staring in his eyes I could tell we were both thinking the same thing.

“Let’s go back to my place.” He whispered in my ear causing me to get wet just by his breath on my skin. I nodded my head and my girls watched as I walked off with my ex husband. We made it to his limo and I’m telling you paparazzi were going crazy as we both walked out the club at the same time asking all kinds of questions. It was crazy, especially once we got in the same limo. And the worse thing is that I’m sure it was oblivious that I was clearly drunk.

The whole ride back to Shawn’s place we made out in the limo. They say that when you’re drunk you don’t really know what your doing, but you can control it sometimes. But I was completely aware of what was going on, I was using the fact that I was drunk as a crutch. I haven’t gotten any in over a year, and I’d be damned if I just slept with any old random person.

When we arrived at his place he picked me up and walked to his house he unlocked the door and we went straight to the bedroom.
**
I woke up with the biggest headache on this universe. I stretched and when I turned to who was usually TiTi on my left, I saw Shawn. I must’ve screamed so damn loud, it made my headache even worse. Shawn quickly rose up out of his sleep, and I looked at him like I know we didn’t, I was in my bra and thong and he had on nothing.

“Yes we did.” He said and I swear I almost fainted. Okay maybe I didn’t know what was going on last night.

“Oh my God Shawn why the fcuk did you let me sleep with you?” I asked hitting him in the arm. He laughed and grabbed them.

“Ay now you made all the moves at the party, I just followed.”

“You didn’t know I was drunk?”

“They say that the truth comes out from the tongue of a drinking man.”

“What is you talking bout? And I’m not a man!”

“Last night you were telling me that you loved me and that you wanted to be with me.” I gave him the yea right and you believed that look.

“I was drunk!! How else do yo want me to explain that to you!”

“Baby you don’t have to explain, because I know that what happened last night was no accident. You knew exactly what you were doing and your just using the fact that you were drunk as a crutch. You aint gotsta lie girl!” He said with the biggest smile on his face, “I’ll tell you one thing you worked it last night though. Screaming my name and shit, made me think you longed for this night to happen.” I looked at him disgusted.

“Go to hell.” I said jokingly but then again I was serious, “You really need to grow up. I’m going to pick up the girls from my parents house.”

“How? You aint got no car here!” He joked. I sighed because that meant he had to take me.

“Well can you hurry up?” I asked with a fake smile. He got out of bed naked and I covered my eyes.

“Girl you done seen it before!” He said going in to the bathroom and taking a shower I went into the kitchen to get my hungry ass something to eat. I was pouring my milk into my cereal when I thought about something.

“Shawn!” I yelled standing at the bathroom door.

“Come on in!” I sighed not wanting to walk in but I did anyways. This nigga was butt ass naked standing there drying off.

“Oh shit.” He laughed, but I’ll admit I didn’t mind looking, “Last night did you even use a condom?”

“Girl I aint stupid now. Hell yea I did, I don’t know who you be fcukin.” He said trying to be funny. I flipped him the bird and went back into the kitchen to finish my cereal. I cannot believe I just slept with my ex husband. The girls are gonna get a kick out of this, even though I’m sure they already know what went down. I told them heffas not to let me get drunk cause I do dumb shit.

“Aight girl let’s go!” He said walking out of his room with a rocawear outfit on and he looked so good. I rolled my eyes and put my bowl in the sink, “Did I say you could eat at my house?”

“Boy! Come on.” I said walking out the door and he followed. I waited at the car for him and he came around and opened the door for me, “Thanks.” I said as he closed the door, he nodded his head and walked over to his side. He got in and pulled off.

The most random thing happened while we were in the car the radio was on. And Come Back to Me Shawty by Tyrese came on. The second verse started playing and Shawn started singing the words, and I knew he was talking about me.

Girl i know its crazy that we goin through this again,
I know i promised that i, wouldnt be so selfish,
All my life girl you never gon be feelin this way again,
Tryna ta keep myy,
Now i realize she aint worth losin ya,
And i shoulda been wit chu instead of doin her, (baby)
But im gonna do much better,
Willin to do whatever
Cuz im tryna keep myy baby

That verse fit us perfectly, it was crazy that I might be falling back in love with my ex. No I’m crazy I would never fall for Shawn once again. He put me through way too much bullshit for us to try again. I already slept with the nigga aint that bad enough?

“Can you take me home instead of to my parents?” I asked with sort of an attitude but most of it was because I had a killer headache.

“Nope.” I smacked my lips and leaned back in my seat, “I see you still get the same attitudes.”

“Can you just stop talking to me and drive?”

“Not possible. I gotta ask you something.” I nodded my head for him to go on, “Do you still love me?” Out of all the questions he had to ask this shit? Of course I loved this nigga, probably won’t never love anyone like I did him.

“I still do love Shawn, but not Jay Z.”

“Figured. Which one do you think you married? Shawn or Jay Z?”

“Why are you asking me these questions?” I asked turning my head to face him, he glanced at me and smirked.

“Because I know that what happened last night was no accident. You and I both know that the feeling was mutual, and that we wanted it.”

“Shawn can you shut up and just drive? We can have our little Dr. Phil moment later.”

“When?”

“It doesn’t matter just not know.” He smiled and continued to drive. He drove to my parents’ and got out to get the girls. They walked to the car and I knew that they were wondering why in the world was I in the car.

“Mommy!” She screamed and I opened the door so that I could give her a hug and kiss. “I miss you.”

“I missed you too pookie bear. Were you a good girl?”

“Yep!” She got in the car and Tasha didn’t say a word to me. I wasn’t really expecting her to though so I didn’t make it such a big deal. Shawn came to get in the car.

“I feel so much hostility in this car you would think we got me and Nas in the same room.” Tasha and me cracked a smile, “That’s what I like to see, happy people!” We drove to my place. “Alright baby girls, I’ll call you all a little later on tonight okay. I want to take yall out to dinner before I leave town.”

“Okay.” They both said in unison. He looked up at me and I looked back at him.

“And you, I will see later.” I nodded my head and he went over to the counter to retrieve his cell phone. I must have forgot that I put the paper with Maurice’s name and number there that day TiTi and me got back from the pool. “Uh oh Bee you got you a dude?” I stared at him giving him the are you kidding me look, “Oh no it’s cool. But I don’t think he’ll be too happy about what happened last night.”

“Shawn get out.” I said as nicely as possible without sounding too harsh. I knew he was jealous, because he thought that last night meant something. I went to walk him out. “What is wrong with you?” I said grabbing his arm.

“You!” He screamed. “You just make my life so damn hard.”

“And how’s that? Your Jay Z, big pimpin. You have no worries in life.”

“I do have kids? Are they not my worry?”

“You have kids? I would’ve never known especially by the way you act. Shawn you can’t put them on the back burner for you career to come first. You think they don’t know what’s going on? TiTi may not, but sooner or later she’s going to wonder why the only time she sees her daddy is on TV.” He laughed at the last part, “And I’m not saying that to be funny. It’s the truth, you told me that you were going out of town and I see yo ass at a party!”

“I was going out of town but then my show got cancelled. And did you not just hear me say that I would take the both of them out to dinner tonight?”

“Oh wow and you think taking them out to dinner is enough right?” I chuckled and rolled my eyes, “Jay Z your pathetic.”

“Jay Z? So that’s my name now huh? It used to be Shawn. And I’m pathetic because why?”

“I call you whomever you act like. Right now your not acting like Shawn, you’re acting like an immature grown ass man.”

“Why must you always argue with me?”

“You think I love arguing with you? We argue when we’re married and we argue when we’re divorced. It just doesn’t stop does it?” He moved closer to me and I backed up, “Back up.”

“You want me don’t you?” He asked and I almost fell out in tears, he is hilarious. You can always count on Shawn to turn an argument into a laughing fest.

“Oh please.”

“Oh come on stop frontin. Last night didn’t happen for no reason. You still got feelings for ya boy, and you just want me to have the girls more so you can see me more often.” I bit on my lip to keep from laughing. He got closer to my face, “You aint gotta say too much one look in ya eyes I could tell you wanna fcuk.” He sung and I couldn’t hold it any longer I bust out laughing.

“Shawn okay, I think you’ve said enough.”

“Admit it and I will leave.” He pushed me against my door and put his arms on both side of me. “What’s so funny? I’m serious. Admit that last night happened for a reason.” He was so close to my face I thought he was going to kiss me, not that I wouldn’t have minded but I didn’t want him to know that I didn’t mind.

“Alright, okay I want you.” I lied.

“And….”

“And last night did happen for a reason.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Mission accomplished, I’ll be back at around 8.” I playfully rolled my eyes and smiled. “I’ll see you later wifey.” I raised my eyebrow. “I mean I’ll see you later baby, okay Beyonce.” I gave him a warm smile and walked in the house.

“Mommy how come you didn’t come get us last night?” TiTi asked and I cringed at the thought of what happened last night.

“Uh I fell asleep.” I lied, “Where’s your sister?”

“In ha room.” I nodded my head and walked to her bedroom, I opened her door and she was knocked out on her bed. I closed her door and walked over to TiTi.

“TiTi what time did Tasha go to sleep?”

“It was late, she was cryin.” I looked concerned and I kind of felt bad, because while my daughter was crying I was laid up with my ex husband drunk. But I don’t blame her for calling me.

“Why?”

She sighed meaning she really didn’t want to talk to me or she really didn’t know, “I don’t know mommy.” I smirked at her.

“Alright lil girl!” She playfully rolled her eyes and went into her room to play with her toys.

I went into Tasha’s room and walked up to her, her eyes were puffy and she looked exhausted. I rubbed the side of her face and watched her sleep. Watching her sleep brought back all the memories when she was a little girl. I mean she was still my baby, but she was a teenager now. Then she was my little baby, she was so innocent and talkative. She thought that boys had cooties and said she would never kiss or go out with one. A lot has changed since then. I kissed her cheek and left her room silently making sure I didn’t wake her.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:29 pm

CHAPTER 7: PART I
BEY0NCE’S P0V

Tomorrow is TiTi’s fourth birthday. She hasn’t really asked for much but some toys, and for her daddy and me to take her shopping together. I just wanted to take her by myself but she insisted that we all go out as one big happy family, something we are not. But today I took her to her grandparents’ house; they wanted to take her out for her birthday.

I have noticed that Tasha hasn’t been herself lately. She’s acting like she’s scared to even look at me, like she did something wrong. I know that we aren’t each other’s favorite cup of tea, but that is my daughter and I would do anything for her.

“Hey sweetie.” I said walking into her room and sitting down next to her on the bed.

“Hey.” She said shyly as if she was meeting me for the very first time.

“Tasha you alright?”

“Yea why you say that? I’m fine.”

“You sure because, I wouldn’t want you to feel that you can’t come to me about anything.” I said stressing the word anything.

“Mom I’m okay.” She said standing up and walking to her dresser, still with her head hanging low. I knew she was lying, and I wasn’t going to make her tell me but I didn’t want her walking around with this burden on her shoulders.

“It would really hurt my feelings if you needed to tell me something, but felt that you couldn’t because, I was either going to get mad or look down on you.” I knew what I said hit a spot. She turned around to face me and walked slowly over to the bed sitting next to me.

“Mom I gotta tell you something.” I smiled and gave her a hug letting her know that I was there for her. I nodded my head giving her the okay to go ahead, “When we were at Nana’s and Pop pop’s house, Sharod came over. One thing lead to another, and we, we almost had sex mom.” I had a feeling that, that is what happened. But I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Hell yea I was angry as hell, I wanted to shake her and tell her what a bad mistake she almost made. But that wouldn’t be the way to handle it.

“What do you mean almost? You stopped him.”

“Yea, we were both lying there and I just wasn’t ready and I told him to stop. I felt like I would’ve let you down, you told me to hold on to it because once its gone you can never get it back. And the bad part about it is I found out he was cheating on me.”

“Let me tell you something. I lost my virginity when I was really young, but that was because I was raped. So I really lost it at the age of 18, and you wanna know what happened?? I had you; yes I got pregnant losing my virginity. I made a mistake, but I don’t regret it. Yea I missed out on a lot in my life, parties hanging out and stuff like that but I had a little girl at home that I truly loved and needed to be there for. I want you to know that you were never a mistake what I did was a mistake not you.”…. “You guys have only been dating for about a week, what made you think you were ready anyways?”

“I don’t know mom but I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t control my hormones and one thing lead to another and then that’s when I thought of you… and I knew that what was about to go down wasn’t right.”

“I can’t tell you not to have sex, I can only teach you about the consequences. If a boy can’t wait until your ready to have sex with him, then he’s not with you for the right reasons. Make him work for your goods, let em know that it aint a buffet… it aint for everybody. You see what I mean?”

“Yea I see, thanks momma.” She said giving me a hug, I hugged her back tightly and a tear escaped from my eyes. I don’t know why I was crying but it sorta felt like a breakthrough for the both of us, it felt like a change.

“Any time baby, any time you need to talk about anything… I’m here. No matter how bad it is, I won’t judge you okay.” She nodded her head and gave me another hug.

“I’m sorry mom.”

“Sorry for what?” I said looking at her confused.

“For all of the excuse my language, but for all of the shit I put you through. I keep saying I’m going to change my ways, but this time I’m for real. I see how understanding, strong and forgiving you are; you make me want to be more like you. You have young girls looking up to you because your superwoman. I want to be just like you when I grow up, beautiful, successful and happy. I love you momma.” I smiled and kissed her on her head and gave her a hug.

“I love you too Tasha. And nothing you do or say will determine the love that I have for you.”

“Okay since you love me so much…. is it okay that dad comes over?” I looked at he confused.

“Why is he coming over? Didn’t you just see him last night?”

“Yea…. but I wanted the both of you to teach me how to drive.”

“Oh God Tasha. Me and your dad in a car trying to teach at the same time, is only a disaster waiting to happen. Did he even say he would come and teach you?”

“Yea he did. He told me that you were going to be tripping too.”

“Oh yea, well just for that yea I’ll do it. But I’m telling you the minute that he works my nerves, then I’m out.”

“Okay thanks momma.” I winked at her and got up and left her room. I started laughing because I could just imagine how tense things were going to get in that car. As a matter of fact what car did she think she was driving? She sure wasn’t driving any of mines; Shawn must be letting her drive one of his. Just as I thought about it the doorbell rang and I knew it had to be none other than my ex. “Shawn.” I stated moving over so he could walk in.

“Yo wat up Bee.” I gave him a hug and he continued walking and ended up in the kitchen. “Man a nigga is hungry.” He said looking through my fridge.

“Nigga this aint the grocery store, yo ass shoulda stopped at McDonalds or something.”

“Stop being a grouch!” He said taking out the things to make him a sandwich. “Tasha come on!” Tasha came walking out of her room with a skirt and a halter-top shirt and some flip flops, “Go back and change.” He said taking one look at her.

“Mom.” She said smacking her lips, “Daddy what’s wrong with what I have on?”

“Your clothes are going to be a distraction. So go and change or you can forget it.”

“Distraction to who?” She yelled back.

“Other people on the road, now go and change, that’s all I’m going to say.” She turned around and went back into her room.

“Shawn, you didn’t have to be so damn mean about the situation.” I said going up next to him and slapping him in the back of the head.

“Ouch. I just don’t want any nigga looking at my daughter.”

“Typical father.” I said and he kicked me, “Nigga I will bust you in yo big ass head.” I threatened.

“Do it then.” I would’ve done it but he had the bottle of mustard in his hands and knowing him he would be tempted to spray it on me. “You lucky you look hella sexy today girl or I would put this damn mustard all over you.” I shook my head and turned around giving him a glimpse of my ass on purpose. “Lil mama show me how you move it go ahead and put ya back into it, do ya thang like it aint nothing to it…shake. Sh.sh sh shake that ass girl.”

“Shawn don’t start. Tasha come on girl.” She came out of her room with some jeans, one of the many rocawear jackets that she owned and some matching air force ones. “Alright let’s go.”

We went outside and got into Shawn’s 07 BMW. He was bold, he should have gone and got a rental car if he was going to take our daughter driving. He only drove this car like maybe 3 times and he was risking a fourth by letting a 15-year-old drive.

“Okay do you know the first thing to do when you get in a car?” Shawn asked sitting in the backseat allowing me to sit in the front.

“Yes daddy. I’m not stupid.” She checked her mirrors and pushed the break pedal and put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking spot. “See I’m a straight up thug dad.”

“Yea okay let’s get this thug on the streets and then we’ll determine yo gangsta.” She pulled up to the stop sign to exit the complex.

“Tasha put your right signal on, and check to see if any cars are coming from your left hand side.” She did as she was told and made a pretty sharp right hand turn, “Keep straight, we are going to head over to Kelly’s house.”

“Man I aint going to no Kelly’s house. You know she hates me.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that Shawn, but I need to stop bye over there anyways.”

“In my car you gone tell me where I’m going?”

“Basically. Tasha sweetie take a left.” She stopped at the light and turned her left signal on.

“That’s it…I’m going on strike!” I turned around to look at him, “What I’m serious. I’m sick of woman telling me what to do.”

“Shawn shut up.”

“Yes ma’am.” He said sitting back in his seat. I laughed and turned my attention back to Tasha. She drove to Kelly’s without a problem; I was actually impressed she still had a lot to learn before she started driving though. “Ugh, can we please make this a quick trip?” He said as all three of us walked up to the door. I unlocked it with the key that she gave to me.

“Only if you shut the hell up.” I said and we walked in the house, “Kelly bring yo stank booty self down here!” I yelled up to the stairs knowing she was probably in her office.

“Is that my big booty Bee?” She said walking out of her office, “Oh snap my bad ass niecy poo is here too!” She came down the stairs and greeted Tasha and me with a hug, “Big lips.” She said finally acknowledging Shawn’s presence with a nickname.

“Humph, weave head.” He said retorting with one of the many nicknames he had for her.

“I don’t know what you talking bout booboo, this is all mines. You know my family is mixed with Cherokee.”

“I’ll believe it when I don’t see receipts sitting on the table.” He said nodding his head to a receipt that was from Sally’s beauty salon.

“Bee get ya ex outta my house!”

“Yall two need to chill out for real.” I said laughing at their comments at one another. We went in the living room and sat down.

“So, what are you two beautiful parents doing for my lil mamas birthday tomorrow?”

“Oh were taking her shopping and doing lunch and dinner.”

“That’s it?” Kelly asked unsatisfied at my daughter’s birthday schedule.

“She asked for it.”

“And yall are the dummies for believing it. What four years old has a birthday that usually a 25 year old has? Four year olds need parties; they need tons of gifts and all that good stuff. Not dinner and shopping.”

“Well what does weave head have in mind?” Shawn said hitting another one of her nerves.

“I’ll let that one slide because I’m talking about my lil mama. I’m thinking a day out on the beach. With a couple of friends, and have her family and of course me. Take her and her friends to KB Toys and let the rugrats go crazy. Then take her to her favorite restaurant which is…” She said pointing to Shawn putting him on blast on purpose because she knew that he had no clue as to what her favorite restaurant was.

“Uhh Olive Garden?” He said taking a jab at it. Tasha and me smirked and Kelly shook her head in shame.

“Damn shame…. what is it ladies.”

“Johnny Rockets.” Both Tasha and I said at the same time.

“Thank you. Then take the rugrats home and then you guys as a family spend the night together having fun, like…well I can’t say like old times…. because yall aint do shit. But like the hopefully new times.”

“Auntie Kelly guess what!”

“Uh I don’t know. Did your dad finally spend time with you?” She joked. And I kind of snickered.

“Naw, I mean that’s not what I was going to tell you. Dad let me drive his car over here.”

“Oh shit…. you telling me Mr. Selfish over there let you Tasha Arianna Carter drive one of his pride possessions?”

“That’s it I’m out.” He said getting up and leaving the house.

“Aunt Kelly why you always messing with my daddy?” She said laughing.

“Because your daddy is trifling and he has yet to prove me wrong after 16 long ass years. He’s still Jay Z, but don’t let what I say determine your love for ya daddy. He loves you girls, he’s just a youngin still and he got a lot of growing up to do.”

“Kelly you are so messy.” I said laughing, “But come on Tasha let’s go before ya daddy shoots up the neighborhood. Kelly we’re having a girl’s night at my mom’s house. All of us, you want me to come and pick you up?”

“Naw I’ll meet you there, I got some work to get done. I’ll probably be a little late but trust me I’ll be there we haven’t had one of these since my lil mama was born.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later.” We both gave Kelly a hug and walked outside and saw Shawn sitting down on the porch staring out into space. I felt bad for him for once. I could tell he was trying to be the best daddy he knew how to be. But the past always came back to hunt him. “Shawn we’re ready.” He got up and walked to the car, he took the keys from Tasha and drove us to our home. “Tasha go ahead and go inside I want to talk to your dad.”

“Alright. And while I’m in there I’m ordering some pizza a girl is hungry.” I nodded my head and handed her the keys. We got out of the car and I walked around to the trunk where he was sitting.

“Shawn.”

“What?” He asked not even looking at me. I grabbed his hand and he looked at me like I was crazy. “You’re actually touching me.” He said amazed at the thought that I would actually grab a hold of his hand.

“Shawn, I am a nice person. I’m not the b.itch you think I am.” He did a light laugh and I smiled up at him. His smile faded and he stared down at me, I was hesitant to stare back but I did anyways. We stared into each other’s eyes just like we did when we first met. He pulled me in between his legs and I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Are you okay?” It took him a while to answer; it was like he was trying to figure out what exactly to say.

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s like…. I don’t know. I’m trying Bee, I really am. I love my girls more than life itself, I can say that honestly. I’m just doing too much.”

“Too much like how?”

“I’m trying to impress the music business, I’m trying to impress my daughters, my family, those who said I wouldn’t make it…and I’m trying to impress…. ((He looked down at me and stared into my eyes))… I’m trying to impress you.”

“And why are you trying to impress me?”

“Because man. Aight I aint even gone lie, I love you. I always have and always will. This is hard for a thug like myself to say this. But I don’t and will never picture myself with another woman besides you. But like you used to say, it’s hard to let go of your past when all you felt was pain. I’m not asking for forgiveness, and I’m not asking you to give me another chance. But I do want you to know that I am sorry for all the bullshit I put you through, and for the one thing I promised myself I would not do… and that’s turn into my father. And that’s exactly what I did and I’m sorry. You don’t have to forgive me now, but just know that I’m sorry aight.”

“Shawn you, you are not your father. Believe me when I tell you this, you…. are…not…your…father.” He looked down at me and then looked away shaking his head.

“Yea I am. I put my hands on a woman. Not just any woman, a woman that I admire and have respect for and loved. I’m not the dad that my kids come running to or call whenever they have a problem. It’s you, they call you, they love you, and they look up to you. I’m just in the middle of it all; people respect me because they have to. People respect you because they want to.”

“Then change it.”

“How I’m spose to change when I’ve been like this all my life.”

“It’s not too late. You start right here, and you work your way out.” I said pointing to his heart. He used his index finger to bring my face up to his.

“You just superwoman aint you?” He whispered, I couldn’t respond I was just way too close to those luscious lips of his. I felt our body temperature rising and hormones throbbing. Our faces slowly inched closer together and our lips crashed together like there was a magnet in them. Kissing him never felt so right, this was my ex. My ex husband at that. I wasn’t supposed to be falling in love with him all over again. But there are some things you just can’t resist. Shawn was slowly but surely turning into a man that I longed for 16 years ago.

After Jay Z was done and he got off of that stage, I wanted to see Shawn Carter. The caring, loveable, goofy, and sexy man that I knew was in him. But I never saw that 16 years ago, I saw Jay Z all the way. I never did like Jay Z but I loved me some Shawn Corey Carter. But he only made special appearances; he came out on command not automatically.

I pulled back from him and giggled still letting our lips touch, “What’s so funny?” He said laughing.

“You.”

“I aint that funny now am I?”

“You come here and pull this slick rick shit on me… and I fall for it.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Iono maybe.” I said biting down on my lip, and he gave me another long peck, “Hmm, maybe you should get going.” I said pulling back before any more of my feelings got involved.

“Yea maybe I should. But I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said sliding down off his trunk letting our private areas touch as he slid down. The whole time while he was sliding down he was biting on his lip and watching his lil man rub against my stomach and down to my area. “Call me.” He demanded more than ask. I slowly nodded my head and he walked to the driver door and opened it and got in blowing his horn before pulling off. I waved at him and stood there for a while.

“Holy shit.” I said aloud as I started walking towards my apartment. As I was walking past the pool area I spotted that boy named Maurice. He saw me and I rolled my eyes pretending that I hadn’t seen him yet.

“Beyonce!” He yelled running trying to catch up to me. I stopped and turned around acting like I didn’t see him.

“Oh hey, I didn’t even see you over there. Hows it going?”

“Pretty good and yourself?”

“Uh I’m living life one day at a time.”

“That’s good. Too bad I never did receive a phone call from you.”

“I’m so sorry, I just been really, really busy lately.” I said reminiscing on the talk Shawn and I just had.

“Oh you talking bout with Jay Z?”

“That’s personal don’t you think?” I asked trying to hurry up and end this lil conversation we so called had.

“Oh I’m sorry. I should know my boundaries. But I guess I’ll see you around then huh?”

“Yea I guess so.” I said before walking away and going up to my apartment. “Tasha!” I yelled looking through the mail I’m guessing she picked up on her way up.

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“Talking on the phone to Kayla! Do I have to get off?”

“No. Never mind!” She went back to talking on the phone and I went on my laptop and plugged up both my business cell phone and my family cell phone. I glanced over at the coffee table and saw my wedding ring sitting there. I picked it up and played with it. I slid it on my hand it looked so perfect.

I quickly shook the thought that I was having in my head. And got to work before I went to my mother’s house. I had to schedule lots of things for the line. We had a fashion show coming up in 2 weeks in Las Vegas and then we had a 2-week break. My job has never been easy but I couldn’t ask for a better life!

SHAWN’S P0V

That kiss Beyonce and I shared wasn’t nothing compared to all the other mishaps we had. This kiss was a forgiving kiss, it meant a lot to me. I love her, and I love my kids. I want us to be a family again, actually I just want us to be a family…. Not again because we never were a family. But I want to make things better. All of the groupies and fame I could give up. I just want a family. All I ask is that God will answer this player’s prayer and give me my family back.

“Oh God!” I said to myself as I sat on my couch reminiscing the time when Bee and I first met, we were so in love and I wanted nothing more than to have a family with her and be happy. I picked up my phone and called my assistant and told him to send a dozen roses to Bee’s house, I was going to do anything and everything in my will to get my family together as one.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:29 pm

CHAPTER 7: PT II
BEY0NCE’S P0V
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Right about now I just know the girls’ and my mom are upset with me. I missed the girl’s night last night, not on purpose. I have a damn good reason if you ask me. Well here’s what happened. I was getting dressed, both Tasha and I. My cell phone rang right as I was getting out the shower it was Shawn. I answered it and we talked, we talked so much that I forgot that I even had anywhere to go. Tasha ended up falling asleep and I stayed on the phone. Wait hold up, I don’t even remember hanging up with him.

I opened my eyes to the bright yellow sun shining in through my blinds. I looked at my cell phone right next to my pillow and it said Shawn, meaning we never hung up. I reached for my phone and spoke.

“Hello?”

“And you finally decide to awake!”

“Shawn don’t tell me that you’ve been on the phone all this time.”

“Fine then I won’t tell you.” I started laughing because this nigga is crazy.

“What time did I fall asleep on you?”

“Uh I believe it was around 4:30, I kept on saying Beyonce get up. But your lazy self didn’t say a thing, so I just stayed on the phone listening to you snore until I fell asleep.” Aww, but still this nigga is crazy.

“You are a nut.” My other line started beeping and it was none other then Michelle. I smiled ready to get cursed out. “Shawn my other line is beeping I’ll call you a lil later.”

“Okay, well I’ll pick up TiTi on my way over there and we can start her bday plans from there.”

“Ok, bye.”

“Bye.” I was a little hesitant to answer her call, but I know that if I didn’t her yelling would be even worse.

“Hey Michelle.”

“And Kelly, and Solange, and Angie, and Momma.” Michelle said and I started laughing.

“Well hey everybody!”

“Don’t hey us you heffa. Where was you at last night?”

“I’m so sorry yall, I got busy and lost track of time.”

“The hell you say… yo ass was talking to Shawn!” Solange said.

“Solange.” My mom scolded at her.

“Oh sorry momma.” I laughed.

“And just how do yall know that?” I asked.

“We have our sources.” Angie said and I knew exactly who told.

“TASHA! Get yo telling ass in here!” I yelled and she came running in my room.

“Yea momma?”

“You told them that I was talking to yo daddy?” Her eyes went big and she shook her head no, “I’m gone give you 5 seconds lil girl.” She took off running. “I’ll call yall later.”

“Put a hand on my niece and I’ll cut yo ass!” Michelle said threatening me.

“B.itch please. I’ll call yall back!” I said ending the phone call and chasing my daughter.

“Momma stop!” She said laughing and scared at the same time as I cornered her in the kitchen.

“Yo ass gone run in the kitchen trapping yo self.” I laughed at her because she was acting like I was really gonna hit her. “You lucky my breath stank and I don’t wanna be all up in yo face lil monkey!” I said playfully kicking her and walking away.

“Yea cause I smell it all the over here, whew… funky!” She said making a disgusted face.

“Yo daddy!” I said continuing to walk to my bedroom.

“Yo husband!” I peeked around the corner and gave her the infamous eyebrow, “I’m just playin momma!” She said with a quick recovery.

“That’s what I thought. Get yo stanky self in the shower and get dressed so we can be already dressed when your dad and TiTi come over.”

“Alright let me eat first.”

“I don’t think I said eat first then shower. I actually don’t recall telling you to eat.”

“Tsk alright!” She walked slowly from the kitchen and I was standing at my doorway. In order for her to get to her room she had to pass mines. I stood there watching her trying to think of ways to pass me without actually passing me. I chuckled to myself as I saw her eyes watch me. “Momma.” She whined.

“I aint did nothing… yet.” She got closer to my room, and she stopped. I bucked at her and she flinched. She bucked back and ran to her room. “You betta run!” I yelled and closed my door laughing to myself. I got my things ready for my shower and got in.

After my 20 minute shower I got out and lotioned up. I walked in my closet thinking of what to wear. All these clothes and I had no clue. I leaned up against the wall searching the closet with my eyes until my phone started ringing. I knew it was Tasha because of the ring tone I assigned her. ((Crazy by Gnarles Barkly)).

“What lil girl?”

“Momma watchu wearing?”

“Why? I don’t wanna match with you!” I joked.

“I don’t wanna match with you either, I just don’t know what to put on!”

“You got all them new clothes with tags still on them. You can find something.”

“Momma!”

“Okay, okay. Put on that jean short jumpsuit that Solo bought for you.”

“And what shoes?”

“Tasha you have millions of shoes, find a pair!”

“Thanks for nothing ma!” She said laughing.

“That’s what I’m here for!” I said hanging up as my eyes landed on an outfit finally. I decided on wearing some jean Dereon Capri’s and a tight fitting brown and gold Dereon shirt with some gold flats. I put my bathing suit up under it and I f.ixed my hair so it was in loose waterfall curls. I applied a little make up and was satisfied. “Tasha…. I’m ready, so you better be at least more than half way ready!”

“Give me like 10 minutes.” She yelled and I chuckled to myself. The girl reminds me of myself when I was younger. Always taking forever to get ready, I still do take forever. But I learned to pick up the pace a lil bit.

“Mommy!” I heard my youngest child run in the house. I walked to the front door and saw my lil princess with Shawn.

“Hey baby!” I said picking her up as she jumped in my arms, “Happy birthday baby!” I said kissing her on the cheek.

“Thank you.” She said politely and wrapped her arms around my neck.

“Aww mommy’s baby is growing up!” I said squeezing her tight and giving her another kiss on the cheek, “How old are you?” She held up four fingers, “And how old is that?”

“Four!” She said giggling and I kissed her again.

“Hey Shawn.” I said with a smile, he just gave me this goofy ass grin.

“Hey BB!” He said giving me a light hug I hugged him with my free arm while still holding on to TiTi. “Tasha!” He yelled knowing we were all waiting on her.

“What?” She said irritated.

“Girl come on. We got thangs to do, people to see places to be! Don’t be holding us up on your sisters bday because you tryna get glamourfied!”

“Boy my daughter aint tryin to do nothing. She is sexy just like me!” I said with nothing but attitude.

“You aint neva lied.” He said looking me up and down and I gave him the eye. “Oh my bad…. Girl you know you ugly!”

“Oh thanks!” I said sarcastically and shoved him in his arm. Tasha came out dressed, and looking mighty cute I might ad, “Aww look at my girls looking perty!”

“How bout we just go before yall get too cocky!” Shawn said and we all rolled our eyes and headed outside and got in his Escalade.

“Daddy you got a new car?” Tasha said as we pulled out of the complex.

“Uh if you say so. I got it like last week.”

“Yes honey he got a new car.” I said turning around. And Shawn thumped me in the thigh, “What the hell!” I said punching him.

“Ay now. I thumped you and you punch me? That is really not fair!”

“Daddy life isn’t fair!” TiTi said and Tasha and me started rolling.

“TiTi… how bout you be quiet lil missy!” He said joking and she started laughing with her goofy self.

“I’m four year old, I’m four year old!” She started singing, it was nonstop singing.

“Tierra please shut up!” Tasha yelled at her as we all became annoyed with her nonstop singing. She looked at Tasha and shook her head no. “Oh my God. Momma daddy do something dang!”

“Can’t…. its her birthday.” I said and she sighed and took out her cell phone I’m guessing to call Sasha. The singing went on for another 10 minutes and I was really getting annoyed. “Okay now TiTi. For real stop it.”

“Mommy!” She whined. I looked at Shawn for assistance but he just laughed.

“It’s her birthday.” He said mocking me. I mouthed fcuk you to him and turned around to face TiTi.

“If you shut up, both Ma’Kayla and Brian can’t come to the Beach with us.” Her eyes got big because she had no idea they were coming in the first place, Shawn told me to keep it a secret until we got there but bump it, it was the only thing I knew that would shut her up.

“Me shut up!” She said really fast and I turned around back in my seat with a smile that said mission accomplished.

“I thought we was gonna keep that a secret!”

“It’s her birthday!” I repeated.

“Oh that’s how you feel?” He said licking those juicy lips of his. I watched him as he did, and damn did I just wanna suck the shit outta them lips. He noticed me watching and he did it again, but slower this time. He winked at me and stopped at a red light. His eyes traveled from my head to my feet and back up but stopped at the waistline. He licked his lips again and looked me dead in the eyes.

“Uh daddy while you up there flirting the light is green.” He quickly faced his attention back to the road. “Yall thank yall slick!” She said laughing and texting at the same time.

“That’s grown folks business.” Shawn said laughing at the fact that he got caught.

“Obviously not. I mean you are in the car, with other people. And other people on the road. How much business do you think you have?” I placed my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. She was right though. He looked back at her, “Shutting up now.”

“Thanks.” He said as we pulled up to the beach. We all got out of the car and walked to the place that my family and his family was supposed to be at. I could easily spot them. I just had a feeling my daddy was going to be country and ghetto. He bought one of those expensive tables that go outside on the patio, with this big ass country umbrella and more chairs. He couldn’t just sit on the sand with his boogi self. As we approached the table TiTi took off running seeing her two best friends and her little cousin Julez playing. I mean she just skipped the whole family and went straight to them.

“Well hey to you to monkey butt!” Kelly said lightly kicking my daughter in the leg.

“Auntie Kelly!” She said running into her leg almost causing her to fall back.

“Happy birthday niecy pooh!” She said giving her a kiss on her head.

“Hey everybody!” She said waving.

“How come Auntie Kelly only gets a special hey?” Solange said disappointed. “No Hey Auntie Solo?”

“Too many people!” Everybody laughed. She went around and gave everybody a hug and a kiss. And went back to playing in the sand with her friends and Julez.

“Hey Bee!” Shawn’s sister Mickey said to me. It’s been forever since I’ve seen any of his siblings Mickey, Annie and Eric. It was so nice of them to show up for TiTi’s birthday.

“Hey hun!” I said giving her a long hug and kiss on the cheek. “Annie!”

“Bee!” She screamed and I ran over to her and gave her a hug. “How have you been sweetie?”

“I’ve been alright and yourself?”

“Pretty good.” I smiled.

“I know Beyonce aint gone sit there and not say nothing to me! Psh… not Beyonce!” Eric said and I ran and jumped in his arms and gave him a big hug. “Hey lil sis!” He said squeezing me and kissing me on the cheek. “How are you?”

“I’m good…ooh I missed you!” I said getting down and holding him by his waist.

“I missed you too.”

“Alright, alright!” Shawn said getting jealous.

“Nigga she aint yo wife no more.” He titled me back and pretended to make out with me. I burst into laughter, “Naw I’m just playin lil bro, I wouldn’t do that to you. I don’t care if yo ex wife is sexy as hell, and she rich, and she got a banging body, and she single…. Don’t worry I still wouldn’t do that to you!” He said sarcastically and everybody laughed. I shook my head and walked over to the girls that I knew were upset with me.

“Do yall love me still?” I asked in a baby voice sitting on Solo’s lap.

“I don’t know about them but I don’t!” Solo said, she was always so damn cold hearted. I smacked my lips upset and got ready to get up but she pulled me back. “I’m just playing we love our bee!” They all came and basically attacked me. “Oh yea Tasha you still in trouble too, you didn’t make it!”

“Aunt Solo don’t get mad at me, I aint got no license.”

“Your right…. I blame your mother!” I laughed and walked over to Shawn. I sat in the chair next to him.

“Oh no don’t come and sit next to me now, go sit next to Eric.” He said loud but only loud enough for me to hear it.

“That’s how you feel?” I said with a smirk on my face, “You mad cause I was talking to Eric? Wow Jay Z your doing big things.” I said leaning back in my chair. He rolled his eyes and got up and walked over to TiTi and her friends.

“Yall hungry?” He asked standing over them.

“Yes!” They all yelled in unison.

“Alright TiTi, me and your mom are going to go get you kids some pizza from Pizza hut we’ll be right back. Be good!” He yelled walking away he walked towards me. “Come on.” He demanded me instead of asking and Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter doesn’t take commands too well.

“Eh you can ask then maybe, just maybe you can get some type of reaction.” I said full of attitude.

“Alright Beyonce, can you come on please?” I gave him a fake smile and told everybody that I would be right back. I slid on my flip-flops and walked behind him, well he sort of left me. Pizza hut was like right down the street so he decided to walk. It was way too hot for this shit. I don’t know why he is tripping so hard. When we got there he held the door open for me and I walked past him without saying thank you, “Rude ass.” He whispered standing next to me in line.

“You’re the one to talk.” I said sarcastically. He put his arm around my shoulder and I moved it, “Don’t touch me.” I said kind of loud, shit it wasn’t nobody in there besides this old white couple standing in front of us and probably had no clue as to who we were in the first place.

“I can’t touch you?”

“Nope.” I said crossing my arms and staring straight ahead. He stood in front of me smiling hoping to get a smile out of me. I felt one coming so I turned the other way. He kept moving his head to where I kept moving mines. “Stop Shawn.” I whined pushing him in his chest.

“I thought I was Jay Z?”

“Your personality changes.”

“I’m sorry.” He said pulling me into a hug, but I didn’t hug him back, “I’m gonna keep on hugging you till you hug me back.” We stood there for a good minute and I decided to hug him back so he would move. “Thank you, just for taking that long I’m not moving.”

“Shawn!” I whined again.

“That’s where our kids get that whining shit from. But yo ass shouldn’t have taken so long.” I laughed to myself and held him, as it was our turn to go up to the counter and order.

“Shawn let go.” I said trying to push him off of me but he wasn’t letting go so I just gave up. He leaned me against the counter so he was facing the cashier and my back was facing her.

“Hi can I get…. Bee how many pizzas do you think we need?” He said looking down at me, I shrugged and just gave him a number.

“Get like, uh damn it’s a lot of people. Get 15 large pizzas.”

“Can I get 15 large pizzas?”

“Sure can sir. What kind of toppings?”

“TiTi likes Pepperoni.” I said to him.

“13 pepperoni and 2 sausage please.”

“Your total is $74.98.” I couldn’t tell how he paid for it because he did it discreetly.

“Don’t be tryna hide it.” He looked down at me and smiled, he bent down and gave me a peck on the lips. I hugged him even tighter.

Something was happening to me every time I got alone with this man. It’s like I was slowly falling in love, but I wanted to convince myself that it was lust. Whenever he kissed me I didn’t want him to stop, his lips and mines put together was like magic. Wait hold up a second Bee, this is your ex husband. The nigga that cheated on you multiple times, the same nigga that left you at home taking care of yall kids, the same nigga that slapped you, the same nigga that broke your heart and he was that same nigga that is stealing your heart again. Shit what the fcuk am I supposed to do?

“Sir would you like us to bring the pizzas down to you?” The lady asked.

“You sure?” He asked.

“Yea, it’s going to take like 45 minutes and it’s a lot to carry. Are yall at the beach?”

“Yea you’ll see us. It’s a grip of black people. And you’ll see a black man with gray hair sitting under an umbrella table with flip-flops on…. Yea that man is her daddy!” He said trying to joke.

“Okay thanks.” She said laughing. I hit him in his chest for talking about my daddy like that.

“You know I’m just playing girl.” He said letting me go and putting his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s not go back right now.”

“Why not?” He bent down and gave me a long peck on the lips, “Hmm.” I said moaning.

He chuckled, “That’s why.” He said staring into my eyes biting down on his lip. He leaned down again and kissed me. This time it was a nice long passionate kiss; he slid his tongue in my mouth and our tongues intertwined. I felt myself getting more and more into it and I knew damn well he was because I felt him.

“Wait.” I said pushing him back by his chest. “We can’t do this.”

“Why cause you my ex wife? Or because you don’t want to fall back in love with me, even though you already are?”

“Let’s just go.” I said grabbing his arm and holding it as we walked in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was more of we were both thinking silence. We both felt it, but I knew for a fact that I was too scared to admit it. We approached our huge ghetto ass family.

“Took yall long enough.” Tasha said eyeing me up and down. I smiled at her and shook my head letting her know it did not go down like that. I know that she wanted us to get back together more than anything. “Dammit.” She mouthed to herself.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“I mean dang it… momma you know what I meant!”

“Uh huh watch it lil girl.”

“Okay yall left with no food, and yall black asses come back with no food. What the hell did yall get lost?” Kelly said.

“They are bringing it to us Kelly!” He said stressing her name.

“Thank you Shawn.” She said doing it back.

“Mommy we’re hungry!” TiTi said climbing in my lap whining.

“Oh TiTi they are bringing it. Go get in the water or something.”

“Are we going to Toy Store?” I bent down and kissed her nose.

“Maybe.”

“Mommy!” She said whining.

“Alright, alright yes we are!” She smiled and climbed off my lap and ran to her friends and told them that we were going to the toy store. They all started jumping around. People were starting to look at them, damn why they have to be so damn loud. Lol, “Come on yall let’s go get in the water!” I said to the kids. They cheered again and walked up to me so I could help them take off their clothes, thank God they had on their bathing suits.

“Auntie BB, you get in wata?” Julez asked and I kissed his forehead.

“Yes baby.” He had on some rocawear swimming trunks. Brian had on some red Tommy hilfiger ones, Ma’Kayla had on this cute little pink and white polka dot bikini, and my baby had on this baby phat bikini that her auntie Annie bought her for her birthday. You know me I had to flaunt what the good Lord gave me. I wore my lime green bikini. When I was taking off my clothes I felt Shawn’s eyes on my ass. “Come on yall.” I said walking them to the water. “Wait first of all who can swim, and TiTi don’t raise your hand.” I said picking her up and placing her on my right hip, “Julez don’t raise your hand either.” I said putting him on my left hip. Ma’Kayla and Brian raised their hands, “I hope yall not lying.”

“I promise.” They both said and I laughed.

“Alright let’s go.” We walked deeper into the ocean; I didn’t go too deep because I still had non-swimmers holding on to me. “Ma’Kayla and Brian don’t go too far.”

“Okay.” They said politely and stayed next to me. They started splashing me with the water.

“Okay, okay how bout this. Yall can splash me but don’t get the hair wet okay.” They all nodded in agreement as my hair was put in a high bun before I got into the water just to make sure. We played in the water for while until Kelly called us in for the food.

“Water monsters, the food is here.” She yelled and they all tried to run out of the water to go get some food.

“Julez and TiTi too bad yall can’t swim.” I said laughing at them trying to make it to shore but they weren’t going anywhere because I wasn’t about to run and end up falling.

“Mommy hurry up!” She said whining and I walked faster until I was able to let them down. When I did they ran over to the pizza and I walked over to them and wrapped a towel around my waist.

“Oh no you can leave it off.” Shawn whispered in my ear causing me and him to burst into laughter. We stopped once we noticed that everybody was looking at us. “Eric why the he… (he noticed that we had other people’s kids around us) heck would you bring a cooler full of sodas and ice, but no doggone food?”

“Just incase yall got thirsty man, be happy I even brought some sodas, yall niggas could’ve drunk the ocean water!”

“Thank you Uncle E!” TiTi yelled with a mouthful of pepperoni pizza.

“Eww stop talking with your mouth open.” Solange said looking at her disgusted in a playful manner. TiTi stuck her tongue out at her and Solo did it back.

“I can do what I want. It my birthday!” She said dancing with a slice of pizza in her hand. I looked at her and shook my head, that’s my baby.

“Ya doggone right she can, shoot that’s my grandbaby!” My daddy said kissing her on her cheek as she danced around eating.

“Shut up Mr. Boogi.” My momma said and we all laughed including him. He knew he was boogi.

“Tina baby you know I aint tryna get no darker.” He said putting his shades back on.

“Daddy can we go back in the water?” TiTi asked.

“No you have to wait for mommy.”

“I’ll go with them come on yall.” Eric volunteered. He took off his jean shorts and his button up short sleeve shirt revealing nothing but a hairy chest.

“Aw come on now, we still tryna eat here!” Mickey said pushing him.

“Yall know yall like it!” He joked and ran away with the kids to the water.

“Yo brother is a trip.” I said to Shawn and he took a bite of his pizza and shook his head.

“You aint neva lied. You aint eating no pizza?”

“Naw I’m okay for right now.” He put his slice in my face, “No, I don’t want any.” I said pushing his hand away.

“Eat it!” He said putting it all over in my face. I rolled my eyes and took a bite. “Good isn’t it?” I nodded my head lying. “You lie!” I started laughing, “You got some sauce on your lip.” I was about to wipe it off, “Naw I got it.” He made sure nobody was watching and leaned over and licked it off. I giggled because it tickled. “You like that huh?” I just laughed again.

“Is this love, cause I gotta know is this real girl I gotta know….” Tasha started singing and we both looked over at her, and she smiled big. I knew she had seen us because she wouldn’t just start to sing love songs out of nowhere.

“Told you, you have no business.” Shawn gave her that look again, “Shutting up.”

“Thank you.”
**

“Alright come on yall, we bout to go!” I yelled after putting on my clothes, Eric and the kids came running back to us. “Yall dry off and put your clothes on.”

“I’m not bout to go to no toy store ma.” Tasha complained to me, seems like that’s all our kids do is complain and whine.

“That’s funny your telling me what your not gonna do.” I said picking up the trash that was lying around.

“Okay fine, momma do I have to go the toy store?”

“No you can come with me!” Solange said answering as if she was I.

“Well damn.” I said to Solange, she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Call me when yall get ready to go to dinner.”

“We might.” I said jokingly.

“You better.” The rest of them walked to their cars after saying bye and they would meet us up for dinner.

Shawn and me took the four of them to KB Toys and they went absolutely crazy. Shawn and I bought them all toys. Our total was a mere $1,025.15. The things we would do for our kids, and those that aren’t even ours.
**
We went to dinner at TiTi’s favorite restaurant Johnny Rockets. Everybody came. Shawn and I shut down the restaurant for her birthday, we didn’t want to be bothered with paparazzi and annoying people. We sang happy birthday there and she received all of her gifts. All of them from her family were normal gifts like toys, clothes, shoes and etc. But my sister Solange always being the oddball of the family went and bought my baby a cell phone. What the hell is a four-year-old going to do with a razor? But hell she is paying the bill so good luck on her part.

After dinner we went back to my place all of us did and we talked and laughed. TiTi had us cracking up when she was imitating my dad trying to dance. She is a character I tell you. It was weird because we were laughing and talking as if we were one big family. Like there were no problems, we got along great for a change. All of us did. We all later cuddled up on my bed and watched a movie. TiTi and Tasha were in the middle of the two of us. TiTi got to choose the movie, only because she had a few hours left of her birthday and I wanted her to feel special. She chose Daddy’s Little Girl’s. Not even before the movie was over Shawn, TiTi, and Tasha were knocked out. I smiled and kissed each one of them on the cheek and turned off the television and lights and went to sleep, praying that one day this family would be one again.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:29 pm

CHAPTER 8:
SHAWN’S P0V
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Ever since TiTi’s party Beyonce and I have been remaining civil. I’ll admit were doing a pretty good job at it. We don’t argue anymore about silly things, we all go to dinner together as a family. Things are going good. I mean we are just friends, that kiss I guess. We don’t really kiss in front of people, well besides Tasha but TiTi we don’t. We don’t want her to start speculating that we are together; we’re working on it but not there just yet. As far as the family knowing about our “special” bond, well they don’t know. They know that we are remaining civil but the kissing part is on low key.

I was sitting in the office at Def Jam trying to figure out some things for my artist when I got a phone call.

“Mr. Carter you have a phone call on line 1.”

“Catherine who is it?” I spoke back into the intercom on the phone.

“It’s Ms. Beyonce sir.”

“Thanks.” I said to her as a smile crept across my face, she never called me on my office phone, “Hello.”

“Hey Shawn.”

“Heyyy girl!” She laughed and I smiled just hearing her laugh brightened up my day, “What’s poppin?”

“Nothin. I’m at my parent’s house right now planning a trip to Vegas this weekend, and my dad insists that you come along with the fam.” I heard Mathew yell. ((“Beyonce quit lying. Tell the boy to come!”)) “Alright-dang daddy! We think as a family it would only be right to invite you.”

“When did yall say yall was going?”

“We are leaving this Friday night because on Sunday we have a fashion show.”

“And whose all going?”

“Shawn.” She whined and I knew the wicked witch of the east was gonna be there. “Can you just come?”

“Tell me whose going you big baby.”

“Me, Tasha, TiTi, my momma, my daddy, Solo, Julez, Michelle, Angie, my cousin Kayla, Tyran and his son, ((coughs)) Kelly.”

“Who was that last person?”

“Kelly!” She said in a low tone.

“Hell naw. Bee she hates me. And how you gonna invite my best friend before you gone invite me?”

“Because I can. And that’s my brother. But Kelly doesn’t hate you; she just hated the way that you did me in the past. Just prove her wrong.”

“Alright I’m coming. But let her run off at the mouth one time, I’m gonna get Annie ass on her.”

“Boy Annie would not fight for you. But call me back later or something when you’re not at work.”

“Aight then bye.” She said bye and we hung up. I’m praying to God that nothing would pop up to stop me from going on this trip, it’s something that we all need anyways… a break. I wanna spend time with my kids and show and prove to them that I am a good father. And I have to prove to Beyonce that I’m a changed man and that I’m worth another chance. But first I must prove that to my kids before anybody. I was in a stare until my phone buzzed again.

“Shawn Carter.” I said professionally into the intercom because I didn’t have a clue as to who it was.

“Hey this is L.A. Reid.”

“Oh what’s up man?”

“Nothing much, just calling to inform you that we have a very important meeting about the label on Friday night.” Everything sounded way too good to be true. Something like an important meeting about the label would pop up last minute.

“Uh okay. How long do you think it’s gonna last do you know?’

“Usually these things last from 6-9 but our last one as you know went an hour over time. So I really can’t tell you. But all I can say is be there! This is the most important meeting of them all.”

“Aight man, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks man.”

“No problem.”

“Bye.” I hung up the phone and leaned back in my chair covering my head with my hands. Now how in the world was I going to pull this stunt off? It’s not like I could postpone the meeting because aint no telling when we could do it again. And tomorrow I have a show out in New York. Wednesday I promised Tasha that Kayla could come to my place and eat dinner with us. Thursday I’m doing radio shows, and Friday is well the meeting and the trip to Vegas. I wanted to fcukin scream. It was going on 9 pm and I was tired as hell, I called it a night and went home.

“Hello.” Beyonce said as she answered her phone and I sat up in my bed flicking the channels.

“What you doing Wednesday?”

“Working and working.”

“Until when?”

“Well I’m going in at 7 in the morning, we should be done by no later than 5 that afternoon. Trying to make last minute arrangements for the fashion show in Vegas, why?”

“Come to New York with me.”

“Whoa. What?” I chuckled.

“You, Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter, come to New York, wit me, Shawn Corey Carter.”

“For what?”

“I’m doin a show. And I know I would do a lot better if I knew that you were backstage watching.”

“Shawn I don’t know, who is going to watch the girls?”

“Bee were going to be gone for one night not a whole damn week. Tasha can baby sit TiTi. She’s fifteen give her some freedom.”

“And I do, but I’ll come with you. What time are you leaving?”

“Like 5:30.”

“Wow, right after work meaning I have to rush over there huh?”

“Naw boo, take yo time. Just make sure you come, don’t stand me up girl.”

“I won’t, but I have to give TiTi her bath I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Okay, kiss the girls for me, I’m going to call it a night.”

“Alright, bye.”

“Bye.” We hung up the phone and a nigga went straight to sleep.
**
I woke up the next morning hyped. Since Beyonce went to work early that morning, I didn’t want the girls to be at home bored, so around 11 I went over there to pick them up and take them to lunch.

“Daddy will you stop it, you’re embarrassing me!” Tasha pleaded and I laughed. We were at the restaurant and TiTi and I were making weird faces and noises at the people walking by.

“Tasha I’m your dad, how could I aka Jay Z aka The Man aka the coolest parent ever embarrass you Tasha Arianna Carter?” I said taking a sip of my soda.

“Don’t get ahead of yaself dad, but trust me you could do it in so many ways you won’t imagine!”

“Aight, you’ll see who embarrasses you in Vegas when a boy tries to talk to you me or your mom, you’ll see.” She shook her head knowing her mom would. We got up and I paid the bill and we left. “You girls want to stay at my house or your moms while we are gone?”

“I wanna stay at mommas, all my friends already know where she stay.”

“Throw a party if you want to lil girl. I would tear that ass up.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Well you’re right… but your momma would! Huh TiTi?” I said looking in my rear view mirror.

“Yep Daddy!” She said agreeing with me and giggling. I laughed to myself and shook my head at her goofiness.

“See even Minnie Me says so, try something lil girl and you’ll never see daylight!” I playfully threatened; boy was I bad at these things when it came to my girls. I couldn’t be serious for nothing.

“Okay. That’s just like saying Bow Wow’s the best rapper alive.” I couldn’t help but to laugh, she was right though.

“Yea right!” TiTi yelled from the back and I laughed even harder.

“Aight Tasha you got me there!”
**

BEY0NCE’S P0V
5:08 PM

I had just got off work and was on my way to the airport. Thank God that I already packed because I was already going to be late. Shawn had called about 3 times while I was on my way up to the airport. I didn’t answer them on purpose because if I did they would only slow me down, plus I already knew what he wanted…. Where you at? Was going to be the exact question he was going to ask. I arrived at the airport and to where his private jet was.

“It’s about time you come.” He said giving me a hug as I approached the crew. “I was getting to think you bailed out on me.”

“I told you I wasn’t getting off of work till 5, don’t act like this is all some surprise.”

“Shut up and get yo fat ass on that plane.” He whispered in my ear and pushed me lightly, I giggled and walked on the plane and took a seat. I was dead beat tired, I didn’t get to sleep till about 4:30 working on the fashion show for Las Vegas, then woke up at 7, and worked non stop until 5 this afternoon.

Shawn walked on the plane looking sexy; he had on a white tee, some blue jean shorts and some all white addidas classic. He saw me sitting all by myself and came and snuggled up to me laying his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around him and brought him closer.

“You tired?” He said looking up at me yawn.

“Yea with only 2 ½ hours of sleep I’m pretty tired. But I’ll be okay, I’ve been worse.” I leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips.

“I’m so happy you came with me to New York to watch me perform. How come when we were married you never came to any of my shows?” I looked at him giving him that yea-right look.

“One you never invited me to any of your shows, and two if I would’ve came then you wouldn’t have time to sleep with any groupies.”

“Oh so it’s like that? You gotta bring up old shit?” He said playfully and picked me up.

“Shawn stop!” I screamed and kicked my feet. He slapped me on the butt and ran me to the back of the plane. “Shawn for real stop playin.” He opened the door for the bedroom and threw me on the bed and ran out the room. “Uh I hate you nigga!”

“Nah I’m just playin baby, come here.” He said coming back in there and pulling me into a hug.

“You hurt my back really bad.” I said complaining and hugging on him.

“I’m sorry! You forgive me?” He asked rubbing my back, I looked up at him and smiled.

“I have no choice but to forgive you, shit I’m going with you all the way to New York.”

“Thanks….”
**
I was awakened by my phone ringing. I was a little mad because, I haven’t even been sleep for 20 minutes before a distraction comes along. I glanced over at Shawn and this nigga was knocked out laying his head on my lap. I didn’t even look at the LCD I just flipped open the device and spoke.

“Hello?” I asked sleepily.

“Mommy.” I heard a crying TiTi say into the other end of the phone, once I heard her crying my heart almost jumped out of my chest. The last thing I wanted to ever hear was one of my daughters calling me in tears.

“TiTi what’s wrong mamas?”

“I miss you.”

“TiTi don’t cry okay. Mommy misses her baby too. Be a big girl for me k.”

“Nooo mommy come home!” She said crying even harder, just the thought of my kids or should I just say TiTi right now, crying for me because she misses me makes me just want to cry. I got a little teary eyed and Shawn woke up hearing TiTi scream on the other side. “You comin home?”

“No I can’t babygirl.” I said misty eyed. Shawn reached up and grabbed my phone away from me.

“TiTi this is your daddy, mommy can’t come home right now. She’s coming to support me in New York, but when we get back mommy said she’d take you shopping for all the toys that you want, so stop the crying okay?”

“Okay.”

“You want to talk back to mommy? See you called her with all this crying, you got your mommy crying.” He said before handing over the phone to me.

“Mommy don’t cry, me no more cry. I’ll be a big girl now.” I smiled just hearing her cheerful voice again.

“Okay, I won’t cry. I love you Tierra.”

“I love you too mommy!” She said basically screaming into the phone.

“Okay, I’ll call you and Tasha before yall go to bed tonight talk to you later okay.”

“Talk later.” She said and I laughed and hung up the phone.

“You are such a crybaby!” Shawn said laying back down in my lap; I popped him in the head. “Ouch, don’t be mad at me baby thug cause you cry.”

“Shut up, I just miss my baby that’s all.”

“Well this is a one day vacation from the kids, just me n you k. No limits, no boundaries, no nothing but me and you.”

“Ha, your funny. No limits and no boundaries? You know exactly where the limits and the boundaries are.”

“How yo ex husband gonna have boundaries on his ex wife?”

“Because you do. Don’t push it.” He chuckled and I mushed his head and held him in my arms like he was a big baby.
**
“Wish me luck!” Shawn said as he held me in his arms before he went on stage.

“Humph, like you need it wit yo cocky ass.” He pulled me closer to him, “Okay damn, good luck.”

“Thanks. You are gonna stay back here with Ty and the rest of them.”

“How you know I didn’t want to go in the stands?”

“Well unless you want crazy fans and paparazzi going crazy go ahead.” I gave him a shut the hell up look, “That’s what I thought. ((Announces Jay Z will be on in 5)). I gotta get going girl.”

“Alright good luck.” I looked up into his eyes and I got lost in them. We both could feel that the spark that was once there almost 16 years ago was being relit. I gave him a peck on the lips, “We’ll talk later.” I said knowing exactly what he was thinking because I was thinking the same thing.
**
Seeing Jay Z perform is like watching one of the greatest. He’s great at what he does and he knows it. He got the crowd hyped and they sung along to almost every single song he did.

“How did you like the show?” Shawn said coming right off of the stage after his last performance.

“It was aight.” I lied to him and he laughed knowing I was lying.

“Oh just aight? Why you hating?” He said backing me up against the wall; he stood so close to me that our private areas were touching. “Come to my dressing room.” He sort of demanded instead of asked.

“What did I tell you about demanding me to do shit?”

“Ugh, can you come to my dressing room with me Beyonce Giselle Carter?” I rolled my eyes and nodded my head, “Thank you Ms. Difficult.”

As we were in his dressing room somebody came knocking at the door. Shawn was in the bathroom getting dressed, but I wasn’t about to go and get it. Whoever was on the other side of that door did not come for me.

“Shawn somebody at yo door!” I yelled to him and he walked out the restroom with his shorts and no shirt on. “You for real?” I said talking about the way he was dressed to be answering some door.

“Fine then throw me my shirt over there!” I reached over and threw the shirt at him so he could put it on. Shoot even though we are not together I still don’t want anybody else looking at his body but me. He opened the door and then looked back at me. “I’m gonna step out here for a minute and talk ok?” I just nodded my head knowing exactly who was at the door… groupies. He wasn’t slick at all.

Moments later he closed the door and came back to me pissed as hell. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

“Ay nigga don’t send any fcukin groupies to my dressing room. What the hell is wrong witchu? You know I’m wit my girl don’t fcukin play wit me nigga.” Did this nigga just say I’m wit my girl? Whoa buddy I don’t recall us ever talking about that one.

“Shawn calm down. It’s not that big of a deal?”

“Why not? That dumb ass nigga know I’m wit you, why in the world would he send them hoes up here?”

“Oh so I’m yo girl now?” I said walking up to him. He kind of got caught off guard by the question he probably didn’t realize he said it, a huge ass smile crept across his face.

“Yea you my girl now. You got a problem with that?” He said pulling me into a hug.

“Yea I got a problem with that. But we’ll talk later!”

“Aight anything for you boo, let’s go.” He said grabbing my hand and led me to the car. “You wanna get something to eat or you want room service?”

“Let’s pick up something on the way there okay.”

“Aight.” We both walked to the Rolls Royce and headed to get something to eat. We stopped and headed to the hotel. “Ay girl!” He said swatting away my hand because I was reaching over to his food. “Why order something if all your going to do is eat my food?”

“Because I don’t like it.” I said whining. He sighed and moved his hand so I could get some. “You love sharing with me anyways. Right?” He looked at me like hell naw. “Right Shawn.”

“Oh yea right Bee. I love sharing wit you.” He said sarcastically.

“That’s what I thought nigga.” We laughed and talked while I ate his food. “Alright let’s talk about this my girl thing” He pushed the trash over on the floor and we got comfortable in the bed.

“Yea let’s talk. You give me one reason why we should be together again and one reason why we shouldn’t and then I’ll take over from there.”

“Okay the reason that we should get back together is because I still have feelings for you and they aren’t just oh I still love him feelings. There I think I need him back in my life feelings. The reason we shouldn’t is because, I don’t want to be hurt again by you. I’m not sure if your pimpin days are over yet, I don’t think that you are ready to be serious with me again. It’s not just my feelings that are being involved this time; it’s the girls now. And their old enough to know when things are going wrong… and I don’t want to put them in that type of situation.”

“I see where you coming from with the pimpin days and shit. But that’s why I need you in my life to be that main woman that I love and make love to everyday. I’ve changed a whole lot since the time we were married, and I can honestly say that. My career means absolutely nothing without you and the girls in my life. I’m ready to trade in my player’s card and settle down with you. And I couldn’t hurt you again, that was a once in a lifetime thing. I would probably kill myself if I hurt you again you’re amazing. I don’t even see how I let you go, one million niggas want you but only one nigga can have you. And I wanna be that one nigga if you let me.”

“Wow.” I grabbed a hold of his hands and looked him dead in the eyes, “Shawn, I can honestly say that this time… I… I believe you. But I don’t know if we should jump into that just yet, I mean don’t get me wrong I want you to be that man in my life that I’ve longed for, for so many years… but taking things slow is the only correct way.”

“I understand, but I still get to kiss you right?” He said and I laughed, I nodded my head yes and he leaned down and gave me a peck. “Now let’s have sex.” He said jokingly. I laughed and cuddled up next to him.

“Hell naw nigga, it already happened once before by an accident.”

“Naw I’m just playin, but girl stop frontin you know that was no accident!”

“Hate to burst your bubble baby boy but it was, I was way too drunk to even think and you know that!”

“Yea okay and Paris Hilton used to be a preacher… Bee just admit it.”

”Okay Shawn it wasn’t an accident!! Happy?” I said throwing up my hands and giving him a fake smile. He shrugged his shoulders with a smirk on his face.

“How many more accidents you giving up?”

“Ugh none!” I said getting up but he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me back down.

“You know I’m just playin wit you. Quit trippin.” I rolled my eyes at him and he slowly pushed me back and climbed on top of me. “You forgive me?” He said hovering over me and I shook my head no.

“Nope because you get on my nerves.”

He did this sexy smile that turned me on so badly but I have self control trust me, “What can I do to get off ya nerves then?”

“I don’t know yet.” I said with an attitude. He chuckled and bent down and started sucking on my collarbone, this nigga remembered my spot… but he still was on my nerves. Lol. I wanted to moan but then that would make him think he got me, which he didn’t!

“I’m off yet?” I shook my head no and ran my hands up and down his neck tilting my head to the side in pleasure, “You sure, cause it look like it.”

“Shut up.” I said through clenched teeth and he laughed. “Hmm.” I said letting out an uncontrollable moan, he worked his way from my neck to my mouth but I stopped him with my finger. “Self Control right?”

“Yea baby you talking to the master of self controlism.” He said making up his own word and I smiled. I brought his face closer to mines and we engaged in a long passionate make out. Our tongues intertwining with one another made me want him even more, things were getting quite heated in here. His hands traveled up and down my curves getting a feel of what he had so long ago.

“Shit I don’t know how I let all this go.” He said pulling back, I smiled and flipped him over so he was lying down on the bed. I got on top of him and started sucking and kissing on his neck. “Oh shit it’s like that huh?” I nodded my head while sucking on his neck. He palmed my butt and started pushing my body against his. Aint nothin was gonna happen I just wanted to tease him a lil bit. His phone started ringing. “Shit man.” I got up and went to the bathroom. “That don’t mean stop girl.”

“Nope, answer your phone boo.” I grabbed my things and got ready to get in the shower.

“Hello?” He said answering his cell phone upset. I was kind of mad but shit happens. I shook my head at him and closed the bathroom door. I took a long hot shower. When I got out I called the girls and told them goodnight and then got in the bed with Shawn.

“If you don’t get yo funky ass in the shower.” I said waking him up because he must’ve fallen asleep tryna wait for me to get out. He woke up and walked straight to the bathroom.

“Bee!” He yelled.

“What? I already don’t want to sleep in the same bed as you, and I’m not bout to sleep in the same bed if you funky!”

“Yes you do stop lying so much damn! Just for yo info I was gone get in the shower anyways!” He said twisting and rolling his neck while snapping his fingers.

“Hmm honey I’m scared of you!” He switched his hips on the way to the bathroom filling me up with laughter, “Hurry up nigga before I fall asleep on you!”

“You wouldn’t dare you… you… you sexy thang you!” I started laughing because he was just way too crazy; just imagine how crazy it was going to be on this Vegas trip!

“Oh okay hun.” I said sarcastically and got under the covers and waited for him.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:30 pm

CHAPTER 9:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
7:35 PM

It was going on almost 7:40 and Shawn still hadn’t showed up, I specifically told him 7:00. His phone was off and he wasn’t at the office, so I didn’t know whether to wait on him or just leave and let him come out there on his own.

“Bee are you sure you told him 7?” My mom asked as we all waited around at the port where my dad’s plane was.

“Mom I know how to tell time, I explicitly told him 7.” I explained for the seventeenth time, I swear they would think I have the mind of a 3 year old.

“Tsk, now yall all know Shawn is a lil slow.” Ty said and we all laughed, “He probably forgot how to tell time!”

“Shut up Uncle Ty!” TiTi yelled at him, I swear she hated when people talked about her daddy. I laughed and shook my head.

“Shut up Uncle Ty!” He said copying her. I sat back in my seat in the limo and closed my eyes, just when I thought he was changing… all of it blows up in my face. I was actually falling back in love with him all over again, and I was hoping this trip could give him a chance to prove he was still the man of my dreams. But I guess a dream is just well…. A dream!

SHAWN’S P0V:
7:55 PM

I was almost an hour late and my driver had just pulled up to the port. I ended up having to leave the meeting a little early, but my assistant Catherine took my spot for the rest of. But for the most part I was there for the important discussions. I knew Beyonce was beyond pissed with me, I was gone call her and tell her I was going to be a little late but my mind totally forgot everything. I was just praying to God that this didn’t mess things up, I had to prove to her I was still the man of her dreams!

“Thanks man!” I said grabbing my suitcases out the trunk and running to the limo I saw in a nearby distance. I opened the door and everybody cheered, well everybody except for Kelly and Beyonce. “I’m so sorry everybody!”

“Don’t be sorry, let’s go to Vegas!” Mat said and they all unloaded the limo and walked onto the plane.

“Hey baby girl!” I said and kissed Tasha on her forehead and she greeted me with a hug, “TiTi!” I yelled after her as she was walking towards the plane, she turned around and ran to my arms… I swear she was a daddy’s girl.

“Daddy!”

“Hey baby girl.” I said picking her up and kissing her on her cheek, “You’ve been a good girl for mommy?”

“Yep!”

“That’s my girl.” I smiled and put her down and she ran on the plane with Ty and his son Steph short for Stephon. I looked over at Beyonce and she was staring at me, I locked eyes with her and she pulled her shades down from the top of her head and placed them on, and brushed right past me. “Bee.” I said grabbing her arm but she snatched away from me. I cursed myself for the mistake I had just made and made my way onto the plane.

In a matter of minutes we took off and I was sitting down talking to Ty and Mat. Beyonce was off in the other corner talking to the women. Honestly I didn’t really know why she was that upset with me, but then again I did. I saw her walking towards the bathroom and I excused myself from the conversation and made my way to the bathroom.

“Bee!” I said knocking on the door. I spoke only loud enough for her to hear me through the door.

“What I’m peeing?”

“Open the door when you done.” I heard her flush the toilet and wash her hands and the door flung open. “I don’t wanna talk to you in a bathroom, can you step out?” She rolled her eyes and came out the bathroom. “I’m sorry aight.” I said as we walked further back into the plane so no one could hear our conversation.

“Uh huh.” She said about to walk away but I pulled her by her arm.

“Quit walking away, you mad cause I was late? It was an accident I had a very important meeting… I left a whole 2 hours early just so I could be here wit you and you buggin out on me!”

“Shawn please.” She said rolling her eyes, and I could just look in them and see there was something deeper than me just being late.

“Tell me why you mad!”

“Because Shawn!” She yelled back at me.

“Because what Bee? You being simple wit me explain shit… our relationship made a whole 180-degree turn, but you holding back from me! Because Shawn what?”

“Because I’m falling for you Shawn!” She said with a tear falling down her cheek, “I’m falling so, so hard for you Shawn… and it scares me! I’m feeling that feeling that I did when we first met and I want so badly for us to push through this fight and make it. I keep telling myself over and over again that you’ve changed and I wanna believe it I… I just can’t afford for my heart to be torn into shreds all over again.”

“I can guarantee you that shit aint gone happen no more.” I said and slowly backed her up against the wall by pushing her waist backwards until her back hit it gently; “You got me too deep for me to do that to you.” I said, as my lips were only not even a centimeter away, “I promise!” I said and kissed her avidly adding tongue and roaming my hands up and down her curves. Out of all the kisses that we’ve shared, this had to be the best. So many emotions were being said throughout the kiss and I honestly wanted to tell her that I loved her. But it was too soon; I didn’t want her to feel that I was putting any pressure for her to say anything back.

“Hmm.” She said pulling back and wiping her mouth, I rested my forehead against hers with a big ass kool aid smile on my face. She slightly tilted her head to the side and planted another kiss on my lips. “We should head back out there.” I nodded my head still on a high from that kiss. She grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed it tight and we walked hand in hand back to the family.

“I wonder what the hell happened back there?” Solange said meaning to whisper but said it aloud on purpose.

“Nothing!” Beyonce said quickly shutting any assumptions down, I gave her a discreet tap on the butt and we sat down in a chair.

“You wish we did nothing.” I whispered to her slowly running my tongue over her ear, “Wait till Vegas baby.” She looked at me seductively and giggled.

The rest of the plane ride we all just talked, well me and Beyonce flirted… and the rest of them talked. We got off the plane and got in the limo and headed to our hotel, which was Caesars Palace. Beyonce, myself, TiTi, Tasha and Kayla were all sharing a suite. Figured it would give us all a time to bond. But trust and believe we were going to have to kick the kids out so us grown folks can handle our grown folk business! And as for the rest of their room arrangements I don’t know.

BEY0NCE'S P0V

“We’ll meet yall tonight.” Shawn yelled out to my family down the hallway while holding me by my waist. I kinda guess my family knows what’s going on between us I mean it’s only obvious…hehe. “Alright girls yall got the big room, me and your mom got the small one.”

“Finally! We are going to get showered and dressed for dinner, hmm I’m sure yall won’t right away!” Tasha joked and the three of them walked to their room. “Mom!! Kayla wants to know if yall are together!” Tasha’s ghetto self yelled out loud from their room.

“No I didn’t Beyonce… man Tasha shut up!” I heard Kayla whisper and Shawn and I giggled.

“No Kayla we’re not together!” I yelled back and wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up and carried me to our room. It wasn’t as small as I thought, just right for the both of us, “For now.”

“Hehe, yea we aint together yet! Hopefully before the weekend is over I can change that!” He said letting me fall on the bed with him on top of me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him closer to me.

“Don’t push it Lover Boy!” I gave him a peck on the lips and pushed him off to the side. “Now get ready for dinner, the sooner we get there the sooner we get to go to the club!” I said only joking, hoping that he wouldn’t take it to the head. I’ll admit I like to go to clubs and have fun but we all know what happened last time… not saying I wouldn’t mind that happening at this point and time. But I would never want my kids to see me intoxicated at that level, or at any level.

“Hell yea!” See what did I tell you, can’t say anything to niggas nowadays. Lol. “Naw I’m just playing if you wanna go we can, but for now I’m getting in the shower!”

“Yea I think you should, cause hun your like burning my damn nose hairs!”

“Bite me!” He said going into the bathroom hopefully to shower. He didn’t really smell at all trust me. I loved the way that nigga smelt, it wasn’t his cologne or anything it was just his whole body aroma made you want to be near him and feel his touch. No wonder why all the groupies loved his ass!

I walked into the girl’s room and Kayla and Tasha were in the bathroom doing their hair and make up and Tiearra was sitting on the bed watching ESPN. I swear she was just like her damn daddy, there was definitely no denying it… they had some similarities in the looks but personality they are identical all the way.

“I don’t know why yall trying to get cute for, yall gone be ugly anyways!” I yelled to them as I sat on the bed next to TiTi.

“Beyonce quit hatin on us, you know we fly!” Kayla said as she let Tasha put on her eye shadow.

“Girl quit it! And then you letting Tasha of all people put on your eye shadow, you might as well had a damn walrus do it!”

“Okay momma here you do it since you wanna criticize.” I walked over to them and looked at her then Kayla.

“Naw bay bay go ahead your doing a good job! I gotta get TiTi dressed anyways.”

“No momma!”

“Yes baby!” I said walking over to her and picking her up placing her on my hip. “Why you don’t wanna get dressed?” I said kissing her cheek as I brought her to mine and Shawn’s room to get dressed.

“Cuz I don’t want to wear that.” She said pointing to the very nice outfit well in my opinion it was very cute.

“Fine pick out your clothes lil girl.” I said playfully rolling my eyes and walking to my suitcase.
**
“Daddy!” Tasha yelled across the table. A small group of young men walked past our table and they were interested in Tasha and Kayla. And one of the men was bold enough to yell out ‘Ay Bay Bay!’ Shawn being himself scared them off.

“What? They ugly anyways!” Shawn said trying to defend himself, “TiTi wasn’t they ugly?” She shook her head yes with a mouth full of pizza, of course she would agree with her father… neither one of them would have it either way, “See even TiTi agrees, what about you boys…”

“Yep!” They said agreeing.

“Shawn shut up, wasn’t nothing wrong with those boys!” Solange said sticking up for her niece and cousin. “Yall please don’t listen to Shawn for any judgment, you see who he married right?”

“I beg your pardon?” I said feeling a tad bit upset, “He picked a damn good wife thank you very much, tell em Shawn!” I said and sat back waiting for him to tell them that he did pick a good wife.

“….” He looked at me with a blank expression, “I uhh.”

“Forget it Shawn!” I said and hit him in his arm.

“Beyonce baby you know I love you, but Shawn just juiced the hell out of your ass!” My mom said and I was in complete shock that they would all do that to me.

“I hate yall!” I said jokingly and sat up in my chair and took a sip of my nestea.

“We just playing baby, yall she was a damn good wife… I was the terrible husband!” Shawn finally admitted.

“Thank you!” I said rolling my eyes at them and leaned over and gave Shawn a quick peck on the lips. I smiled and continued to eat my food with all eyes on the both of us, I just smiled to myself because I knew they were beyond confused.

I quickly changed the subject off from Shawn and me and started talking about the fashion show coming up. We all talked and laughed and of course cracked jokes, what would our family be like if we didn’t crack on each other?? But it was only 9:30 and everybody was hype and not ready to turn in yet so we decided to walk the strip with our bodyguards of course.

The Strip was crowded, I kind of regretted coming because of the people wanting autographs and the camera phones and stuff… but it’s life. And us coming in a big ass crowd only drew more attention to us. But the more we kept on walking the less people followed and plus it was dark so you couldn’t really see who was who thank God!

“Uncle Shawn!” Steph yelled running back to us as we were all walking and talking but at a slower pace then the kids.

“Yo?”

“Can we watch the water show?” He said jumping up and down, he was the cutest lil fella ever well besides my bay bay Julez! “Please!”

“Yea come on…” Shawn and I lead the way to the water show and I leaned up against the rail and Shawn came up behind me hugging me from behind.

“Daddy can you put me on your shoulders?” TiTi yelled from a distance, this child was always yelling.

“Come on here!” She ran and he lifted her up and he sat on her shoulders.

“You gone stop all that yelling lil girl.” I said to TiTi and she stuck her tongue out at me, “Right back at you, you little brat!” We watched the water show just for the kids, I honestly didn’t give a damn about no water show.

TASHA’S P0V

During the show I could see my mom and dad stealing looks at each other, nobody could possibly feel the feeling I get when I see them together. Just to see them happy gives me hope that our family could actually be content again. I want nothing more than for my parents to be together again and for my mom to be happy. Even though I caused a hell of a lot of pain for her… I felt a lot of it had to do with her and my father though. If I had to say the number one thing I want in life, it would be for me, TiTi, my mom and dad to be a family… a happy one at that.

“Kayla look at them!” I said for like the tenth time, my parents were wrapped up in each other’s arms watching the water show.

“Tasha I see them, if you tell me one mo time I’m gone throw you in that damn water!” She threatened and I shrugged it off, staring at a daze into the water.

Even TiTi seemed like a happier person, even though she always was… you can just tell that she her spirit is more cheerful when she sees our parents smiling and laughing instead of arguing and bickering.

“Okay Kayla this is my last time bugging you about them.” She rolled her eyes and gave me her attention.

“Do you think… they will ever get married again?” I said with all seriousness.

“Well I don’t to assume, I mean they aren’t even together officially… trust me I want them back together too. It’s just you gotta give it time, you know what I mean?” I nodded my head while looking at the water and thinking of the many possibilities that could happen with just one decision. “But have you talked to your parents about letting you go to the dance academy down in Crenshaw?”

“I want to, but I already know what the answer is going to be! My dad would think I wanna go there for boys, and my mom would say that she doesn’t want me to go because she doesn’t want me in that environment all by myself. I don’t know, they just don’t understand that I want to dance so badly and Crenshaw has the best academy out here in LA.”

“Just talk to em.”

“It aint that easy trust, but you wanna see if my dad would let us go shopping?” She gave me the eye like hell yea, “Daddy, you know I love you right!” I said walking over to him, my mom and TiTi.

“What you want?” He said already knowing my plan, I sighed in disbelief that he would think I would actually want something from him.

“I can’t tell you that I love you?”

“Yea you can, but then in return you want a credit card or cash… where are you girls trying to go?” He said looking at me.

“I don’t know Kayla where we tryna go?”

“What? Girl don’t play, you suggested that we go shopping.”

“You girls know that it’s getting late and if you go you have to take security!” My mom added and I nodded my head. She looked at my dad giving him the okay to give us money.

“Thanks daddy we love you so much!” I said giving him a kiss and so did Kayla.

“Yea cousin Shawn you are loved!” I took the cash he gave us and Joe the bodyguard walked with us around the strip.

“Your such a damn lollipop!” Beyonce said to Shawn and he planted a kiss on her lips as the water show was just about done.

SHAWN’S P0V

“Yea whateva… damn yall it’s still early, I say we hit the club tonight!” I suggested since nobody was really feeling the idea of actually going back to the hotel and doing absolutely nothing!

“Now nigga you know I came to Vegas to party, let’s go now man… I need to find Stephon a step mom!”

“Ty you is so nasty!” Kelly said walking past him with her nose in the air. Her and Ty have always had this little crush thing going on for the longest but neither would admit to the feeling. But everybody and they momma noticed it.

“Or Kelly you can fill the spot for right now!” He joked with her.

“Fuck you!” She spat and we all laughed at their flirty arguments that happened whenever the two came in contact.

“With pleasure!”

“Boy—“

“Alright!!” Beyonce said cutting her off, “How bout we just go to the damn club!”

“Yea you guys go… me and Mat will watch the kids.” Tina said volunteering.

“The hell you say woman!! The hell wrong wit you? I didn’t come to Vegas to watch no damn kids!” Mat said making us all laugh. “If I’m watching kids, I’ll take a flight back to LA.”

“Yall don’t listen to this crazy man, you guys go and have fun… come on kids let’s go! We’ll see yall later.” She said as all the kids ran up to her and they all held hands so they won’t get lost, “I don’t know why you thought you was getting none!” I heard Tina yell at him while they were walking away.

“Let’s go!” Solange said and we all got into the limo with our bodyguard getting in the front seat after we all got in.

“Ladies I always ask you guys this but yall never seem to listen! Can yall please make sure I do not drink?”

“Shit and I always say… before or after I’m drunk!” Kelly yelled.

“Naw I’m foreal… yall all know what happened last time.” She said cutting her eyes at me as I was sitting on the opposite side of the limo. “Don’t want any more accidents!”

“God do not like liars and you know that girl!” I said making us all laugh.

“Anyways.” We all chatted, laughed and of course cracked jokes about one another and the past… until we arrived at a club called ‘Red Light’ the most famous club in Las Vegas. We walked straight in past all the people that were in line, posed for a couple of pics and walked to V.I.P. It was really private nobody really was in there; thank God because some thangs were about to go down!

“What will you guys be drinking tonight?” The waitress said coming over to us.

“Umm I’ll have a water!” Beyonce said speaking up, this girl was really serious about this no drinking thing.

“Ma`am she’ll have a grey goose and apple martini!” I said canceling her order and the rest of us ordered our drinks. “Bee girl loosen up, you gotta have self control.”

“Yea you damn alcoholic!” Michelle blurted out and I gave her the finger, “What it’s the truth, you are supposed to be able to control yourself.”

“Bump that… I don’t!” Angie said and Beyonce gave her a high five.

“Whatever yall can do yall, I’m bout to get me some numbers and shit since Kelly trippin.” Ty said taking down his shot and moving to the dance floor, Kelly looked at him and rolled her eyes.

“Looks like I’m gonna need more drinks then I thought!” She took a shot to the head and ordered some more.

“Having a good time slowly sipping on your drink?” I asked Beyonce as she was trying to be cautious of her actions.

“As a matter of fact I am.” She said taking another sip and I laughed at her. The next song that came on must’ve been a hit because she was rocking her hips in her chair.

“Come on bring that shit ova here.” I said standing up and grabbing her by the hand, she stood up and I led her over to the wall. I had her lean her hands on the wall and I stood behind her while she worked me, whew I swear to God! “Damn.” I said looking down at her ass move the way it was all over me, I held onto her hips while she backed it up even harder. The song ended and we got more drinks, and more drinks and more… we were both drunk and by the looks of the glasses on the table I knew that everyone else was also.

“Oh shit!” Kelly said walking over to the table we were all at in the V.I.P section, “Damn Bee I mean just what you said earlier huh?” She said half way drunk herself; the difference between man and woman is that when a man is drunk they are still able to hold their composure, women aren’t able to do that!!

“Girl!” Beyonce said as her eyes rolled around. She couldn’t even finish her sentence before the both of them busted out into laughter over nothing, I shook my head at the both of them and made my way to the dance floor. It was getting late and I wanted to round the night up before we all lost it.

“Yo Ty!” I yelled over the music. This nigga was way out of it, he was getting the hell worked out of him and he was just standing there all bent over. “Nigga is stupid.”

“You just gone stand there or you gone dance?” Some girl said to me, I checked her and she was fine as hell, I didn’t even have to say nothing and she read my mind. “I’ll take that as a yes.” I put my hands up as if saying it’s whatever. Now usually when a girl asks you to dance, her back is up against my chest… shit well not this girl we was grinding against each other.

“Oh foreal?” I asked as she moving her hips in a circular motion. I glanced over to my right and there stood Beyonce looking directly at me with the most pitiful look ever. I stopped what I was doing and started making my way towards her but she ran away, “Beyonce!” I yelled after her.

TASHA’S P0V
3:00 AM

Kayla and I were up talking about everything and TiTi was fast asleep in the bed. Right in the middle of our conversation my mom comes busting in the suite and slams the door immediately waking up TiTi, soon after her in comes my dad. Kayla put Tierra back to sleep and we walked out to their room and stood outside of their door trying to listen in on what was happening.

“Beyonce yo what the is your problem man?” I heard my dad yell at her, I don’t know what happened but whatever it was made both of my parents upset.

“You Shawn! I see your ass grinding all up on some !” Just by the tone of her voice I could tell that she was clearly drunk. I have never in my life seen or heard my mom drunk. “But then you all up in my damn face talking bout you want anotha chance!”

“It was just a stupid dance! So calm yo drunk ass down!”

“Fuck you… since when is that dancing?”

“You is on some otha shit right now foreal, take yo ass to bed for you wake up the girls…you acting stupid!” I heard a slap and that was all I needed to hear before me and Kayla went into the room and my mom just slapped the shit outta my daddy. “Oh foreal Beyonce? That’s how we feel?”

I grabbed my mom because she was about to hit him again, “Mom stop it okay!” She was fighting to get out of mine and Kayla’s grasp and damn was she strong. “Mom!” I yelled at her and she kept going.

“Shawn I hate you!” She yelled at her and her alcohol breath hit me dead in the face, I could smell it from a distance, she was that drunk. I was both embarrassed and disgusted by her.

“Mommy… daddy!” TiTi said standing at the door staring at the fiasco that was taking place, tears started strolling down her cheeks and I let go of my mom and ran to my baby sister.

“Come on TiTi, let’s go lay down!” I said kissing her cheek and bouncing her around so that maybe she would calm down.

“Noo!” She demanded.

“Are you happy? She’s 4 years old and has to see this shit!” I spat at both of my parents but mostly my mother she was wallin out and it just wasn’t her. I went to bed in both tears of sadness and embarrassment. I didn’t want to talk, think or even be next to my mom at this point… the way she acted was irresponsible.

BEY0NC’E P0V
THE NEXT M0RNING

I woke up with a massive headache; it hurt so badly it was hard for me to even open my eyes. I turned to my left and there was no Shawn, I can’t remember what happened… last thing I remember is going to a club after the water show, the rest is history. I flipped my phone and it read 11 oclock in the afternoon. I sighed and placed the covers back over my head. I heard the door open and slam shut sending a shutter in my head from the loud noise. I peeked over the top of my comforter and saw Shawn walking in all dressed.

“What are you doing?” I said to him as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Where were you this morning?”

“You don’t remember last night do you?” I shook my head no, “Wow, it was crazy…you got drunk, you hit me, and cursed me out and said that you hated me.. all in front of the girls.”

“You lying!” I said in disbelief and embarrassment. He nodded his head, “Oh my gosh, where are they?”

“In the lobby, everybody is waiting on you!” He walked over to me and handed me an Excedrin and his bottle of water. I took the medicine and drank the water, if only this medicine could take back what happened last night instead of this damn headache, “Come on.” He said helping me out of bed and he walked me to the bathroom and ran my shower water for me. “Come on now girl I know your head hurts but you gotta get in the shower.” I sighed and started getting undressed. He left the bathroom and waited out on the bed for me. I couldn’t help but to feel guilty, I mean I hit him, cursed him out and told him I hated him last night and he still is helping me… I just know that I hurt my girls; I never wanted them to see me act that way ever. No I don’t have an alcoholic problem do I? Well at least I don’t think I do, I just think that I should never as long as I’m living drink anything that a baby can’t drink…which is alcohol.

I took a shower and did my hair and make up and went back out to the bed to lotion up and I put on some Dereon capri’s and a shirt to match with some heels. I added all of my accessories and both Shawn and I headed out the room hand in hand.

“I’m so sorry Shawn.” I said to him in the elevator.

“It’s alright.” I leaned up and gave him a kiss on the lips, “As long as I keep getting those.” I chuckled and the doors opened and we walked to the lobby where my family was sitting. My head was still hurting badly so I pulled down my shades because that Vegas sun was no joke.

“That’s the Beyonce I love!” Ty said and I gave him a fake smile.

“Mommy!” TiTi said shyly coming over to me, I bent down and picked her up and gave her a long hug and kiss, “No more mean?”

“Nope! I’m sorry I scared you last night baby… it won’t ever happen again!” I promised her.

“Promise?”

“I promise mamas!” I held her and looked over at Tasha and I could just look at her and sense that she didn’t want to be bothered. I don’t blame her though, I wouldn’t want to be bothered if I was her too.

I felt like such a failure as a mother, how am I supposed to be teaching my kids something and they see me doing the exact same thing I told them not to do? The resentment was already broken between Tasha and I…and I think it was slowly forming back again until I could get her to forgive me.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:31 pm

CHAPTER 10:
BEY0NCE’S P0V

My sister my mom and I just got done with the fashion show maybe about 30 minutes ago, and it went great. Everything backstage went smoothly, the models were on point and we didn’t have any wardrobe malfunctions… so everything was okay. But the one thing that kept me from having the fun that I wanted to have is because Tasha is still upset with me. I don’t think the fact that I was drunk bothered her because I’m sure she would’ve been laughing at me, but I think it’s something more serious that got to her. But her not talking to me at all isn’t solving the situation at hand. We were leaving Vegas tonight around 10:00, so hopefully before we head back home our issues would be solved.

Right now we were all headed back to the hotel after a long day of going to the fashion show and shopping out on the strip. We were all worn out from the heat and exhaustion.

“Mom just call me at 9:00 because I think I’m going to take the girls out to dinner and Circus Circus.” I yelled to my mom, as I was about to open the door to my suite.

“Okay, because I think Solange was taking Julez and Steph to Circus Circus.” I nodded my head and headed into my suite. The girls and Shawn were already here and in their rooms. I walked to my room and Shawn was lying down on the bed.

“What’s wrong with you?” I said hitting him on his leg and he shook his head nothing, “I’ve been with you for 16 years I think I know when something is wrong with you… spill it.” I said joining him on the bed.

“I’ve just been thinking about how much fun I’ve had on this trip as a family.”

“And…”

“And how much stronger our bond is, we really became best friends.” Best friends? Say what. This nigga did not just say we are best friends, hmm okay I guess if that’s how he wants it then that’s how it has to be.

“Yea… umm… best friends.” It was an awkward silence after I said that, I didn’t know whether to speak up and tell him I’m falling back in love with him… or just go with the flow and be “Best friends.” He put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it, I looked down at my thigh then at him then focused my attention back on the television.

“But… I want us to be more than best friends.” Oh God, this felt like he was proposing to me back when we were younger… of course it was nothing like this but I was just as nervous. You could literally see my heart pounding and it took me a moment to even look at him in the eye.

I slowly turned my head and gazed into his love fulfilling eyes, I swear any women could get lost in them. “So… what are you saying?” I said playing dumb, I didn’t want to jump to conclusions that he was asking for us to be together, then get JUICED… that is not cool.

“I’m saying I want another chance for us, for us to be together and make it. I know we can, we’re grown now and our priorities are straightened out and if you give me another chance I promise that we’ll all be a family… a happy family.”

“No more lies?” I asked still gazing into those damn eyes of his.

“Nothing but the truth.” He stated with all seriousness.

“No more groupies?”

“Naw boo, it’s only you.”

“No more chances after this?”

“This is my last.”

“We’re gonna be happy right?”

“Yep! I aint repeating the past.”

I smirked and looked down at him, “Alright… you got it.” I said and bent down and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, “Hmm, Jay Z is my boyfriend once again… the media is gonna have some fun.” I said bouncing my eyebrows and laying my head in the crease of his neck to take in his scent.

“It don’t matter what they say baby… Jay Z with Beyonce, Beyonce with Jay Z. It don’t matter cause they lying. Shawn is with Beyonce and Beyonce’s with Shawn.” I smiled at his comment I guess it was a little cute. “I’m done with the game, I’ve proven my point. I’m the best rapper alive… they betta ask about me.”

“Wait your retiring?”

“Yep. I got my family back now… I’ve been in the game for a while, and still aint nobody top me so I thought I would give it a rest and let somebody try. I’m gone drop one more album then it’s a rap baby. All for my family.” His words were like silk to me, so smooth and free flowing but yet so sensitive and heart warming. “But you and Tasha gotta squash it, I aint leaving Vegas until yall do… my ass would be staying right here.”

“Yea I’m gonna go talk to her.” I said getting up out the bed. “Be right back.”

“Hurry up.” He said and I looked back at him, “Please?” He said with this goofy ass grin, I shook my head and closed the door behind me going into the girls’ room. Kayla and Tasha were packing and talking when I walked in, but as soon as they noticed my presence Tasha stopped and looked down at her suitcase.

“Come on TiTi let’s go bother your daddy.” Kayla said picking her up and leaving the room closing the door behind her.

“Need some help?” I said helping her fold her clothes and place them inside the suitcase; I figured she wouldn’t answer so I took it upon myself to help anyways. Silence fell over and I was trying to figure out the right words to say, “Tasha can we talk?”

“I don’t have anything to say.”

“Then why are you walking around with an attitude towards me? I won’t know what to f.ix if you don’t tell me Tasha!” I yelled at her, not like I was mad yell but like I cared yell.

“I was scared okay?” You would think I’m retarded because this child had me so confused.

“Scared of what? Your telling me bits and pieces… you need to tell me what’s wrong. I’m your mom not your enemy you can tell me anything good or bad.” She sat down on the bed and I sat down next to her pulling her closer to me and she laid her head down on my shoulder and let her tears fall.

“What I saw last night reminded me of the night you and dad got into that big argument and we left. The yelling and the rage I saw reminded me too much of that night… except you were drunk too and then you slapping him. It made me want to give up all of hope of you guys ever getting back together, and I wanted it so badly but seeing that drunk or not it broke my heart because I didn’t want a repeat of the past.” Oh wow, I don’t really remember what happened that night but from what she’s telling me it serious and I would never as long as I live want my kids to see a repeat of what happened in the past between Shawn and I.

“I’m so sorry.” I said rubbing her arm as she lay on my shoulder, “But you and your sister don’t ever have to worry about that… because your dad and I are back together and we are going to be happy.” She quickly rose and looked me dead in the face with a small smile on her face.

“You lying!”

“If I’m lying I’m dying.” I said smiling.

“Dang what took so long gosh?” She said playing around and I playfully pushed her, “Naw I’m just playing momma. I’m happy as long as you’re happy.”

“I’m more than happy!” She gave me a hug and I gave her a kiss on the forehead, “So we’re cool now?”

“Just like the other side of the pillow.”

“Cool now get your ass up and finish packing!”

“Momma!”

“Girl you better hurry up Circus Circus doesn’t stay open all night.”

“I don’t even wanna go to ride no rides, I’m going to check out the Testosterone scenery.” She joked.

“Oh Lord!” I said playfully rolling my eyes and leaving the room with a heavy load lifted off my shoulders. I walked into the room and saw that Shawn was being bombarded with questions from both Kayla and TiTi; he was lying on the bed with his pillow over his head. “What are yall doing?”

“Asking too many got damn questions!” Shawn said relieved that I finally showed up, “Bee tell em we’re together so they can stop asking when we are going to get together again.”

“Yes yall we are together again.”

“Aww if that isn’t cute I don’t know what is, but it sure isn’t 50 and Ciara.” We all laughed because Kayla was always so crazy, “Naw I’m just playing, but Shawn how come you couldn’t just say yes? Gosh instead of telling us to leave you alone and to get out all you had to say yes and we would leave.”

“Well you got your answer… so what’s stopping you?” Shawn said and I snickered.

“Beyonce are sure about this decision?? He seems pretty evil.” I laughed at her.

“Girl go pack your clothes… and TiTi baby you keep looking sexy like your momma and I’ll come pack your clothes in a lil bit.” I gave her a kiss on the nose and she giggled. The both of them left the room and I hopped on the bed next to him and wrapping my arms around his stomach.

“So you and my daughter on good terms?”

“Yep. You coming to dinner with us and Circus Circus?”

“Nope.”

“Fine then forget you.” I said getting up but he pulled me back to the bed and rolled on top of me, “Nope you don’t wanna go with me.”

“I’m just playing dang don’t give me no attitude.” He said straddling my waist and pushing my arms against the bed. Damn my baby was a gangsta, and I loved it… but he knows the limits.

“Get up off me nigga.” I said pushing him and causing him to laugh.

“Man you swear up and down you gangsta.” I softly laughed and curled up my lip.

“It’s ya boy Young, straight from the projects.” I said imitating something he would say.

“See you messing up already, I don’t even say that no more.”

“Whateva, you said it! But if your going you need to get dressed because we are going to dinner first and we are not about to wait on you.”

“I know you aint talking taking 30 minutes just to find the right panties.” He said rolling his eyes.

“It takes me 20 for you information since you just know so much.” I said pinching him in his side.

“Dang baby you know that’s my weak spot.” I giggled because I totally forgot that it was, he used to get so mad at me whenever I did that and didn’t give him none. “Now you know what you gotta do!”

“And what’s that?”

“Drop them panties.”

“Get dressed!” I said ignoring him and going to the girls room to pack TiTi’s clothes in her suitcase.

We all got dressed and went out to dinner to a restaurant that was nearby Circus Circus. Dinner went great, no fans asking for autographs and no annoying paparazzi. Just us having dinner together, for the first time as a reunited family.

“Baby that is so nasty!” I said swatting Shawn’s hand away; he was trying to stick his straw into my drink.

“How is that nasty? It’s just the same as me drinking from it.”

“No it’s not don’t do that.” I picked up my cup and held the straw while he drank some of my margarita. “Don’t drink it all.” I said pulling it away from his mouth.

“TiTi guess who you whine just like?” Shawn asked.

“My mommy!” She answered with honey mustard from her chicken fingers all over her mouth.

“Yep and Tasha guess who you got an attitude just like?”

“You.” She said giving him the wrong answer according to him, but me it was all right.

“All right let’s see who you come to when you want that car!”

“Don’t baby girl he’ll buy you any car you want!” I said staring at Shawn and he smacked his lips and turned away, “Or else this nookie is on lock down.” I whispered in his ear.

“Anything you want you got it baby girl.” He said quickly.

“Yall really need to stop we are at a public restaurant where people come to eat, not to eat and throw it all up.” Kayla said.

“Why did we bring her again?” Shawn asked confused and I laughed.

“Because you love me so much cousin Shawn.”

“Oh yea… it must’ve slipped my mind.” Just then Ty and Kelly came walking into the restaurant, I knew there was hope between the two.

“Look who it is!” Ty said as him and Kelly approached our table, “One big disfunctional family!”

“For your ragedy ass information we are not disfunctional we are together now.” He said planting a kiss on my lips.

“Bee you forgave him for grinding on that girl last night?” I looked at Shawn with my infamous eyebrow.

“Babe I don’t know what he’s talking about… what you talking bout Ty? I wasn’t grinding on no girl… what girl? From where? I was drinking… but I aint see no girl. What girl Ty?” He said and I looked at him even crazier.

“Last night man I was too drunk to remember what song it was, but Bee saw yall and stormed outta there, and that’s why you said she slapped you.”

“Wow, he made it seem like I was just some crazy ass lady just slapping him for no reason. Hmm baby you never mentioned that to me.”

“Ty stop tryna start trouble. Shawn before I leave I want to apologize for all the shit we went through.”

“Apology accepted.” He said and gave her a hug, thank God they had a closure to this argument that lasted for years.

“All right and with that said come on Ty before my stomach starts hurting… see yall tonight!” She said before the two of them walked away.

“That was nice of Kelly to apologize.” Shawn said trying to slip away from my statement earlier.

“Don’t try and slip away from it booboo not gonna work. So why didn’t you tell me about this girl you was grinding on when you made me sound like an alcoholic yesterday?”

“Will you marry me?” He said with a puppy dog face on.

I leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips, “Don’t let happen again.” I said with our lips still touching.

“I promise.” He said and gave me another kiss.

“Too much kiss.” TiTi said laughing and we all joined in. “Just playing!” She said throwing her hands up with her fries in one and chicken strip in the other. “Kiss again.” Shawn and I leaned in and gave each other a peck on the lips, “Again!” We did it again, “Again!”

“Dang TiTi!” Both Kayla and Tasha yelled in unison.

“Again.” She said and we all laughed.

“Alright just one more time!” Tasha said and Shawn gave me a long peck on the lips.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:31 pm

CHAPTER 11:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
SETTING:
LA
8:15 AM
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/CAST%20OF%20GETTING%20CAUGHT/006.jpg?t=1188394081)

Last night we arrived in Los Angeles around 12 midnight and each and every one of us was exhausted. Even though a lot more happened than I planned in Vegas, some for the bad and some good… in LA it was back to reality, and that means work. Today we had a meeting at 9:30 about the fashion show in Vegas. More than likely we were going to talk about the things we did great on and the things that should’ve been a little bit more improved. The last thing I wanted to do was leave the bed this morning especially since FINALLY I woke up to Shawn lying right next to me in bed.

“Shawn.” I said quietly, and caressing his cheek. He didn’t flinch an inch. “Baby.” His eyes fluttered open and looked at me perplexed.

“Why you up so early?” He said wrapping his arms around my body and bring me closer to him. “It’s only… 8:17, hmm go back to sleep.” He closed his eyes and buried his head in the crease of my neck.

“I have a meeting this morning at 9:45 and my driver is coming to get me at 9:20. Therefore I need to get up now.” I tried getting out of his grasp but there was no use, he was way stronger than I was. Plus I didn’t want him to let go. “I’ll call you at 12 and you and the girls can come up there so we all can go to lunch together.”

“That aint no damn compromise. You gone leave me in the bed and you talking bout go to lunch… get the fcuk outta here.” I kissed him deeply on the lips, “Alright ya got me.” He said as I pulled away planting pecks on his lips.

“That’s what I thought. You should be getting up anyways.”

“What I gotta get up for? I aint got no shows, interviews, no office… my kids is still sleeping. What’s the rush?” He said folding his hands behind his head and smiling.

“So you can take your girlfriend to work.” I said leaning against the doorframe to the bathroom.

“I thought you said your driver was coming to get you?”

“He was, but seems like you don’t want to take ya girl to work so stay ya lazy ass in the bed then.” I said rolling my eyes and shutting the door.

“There you go!” He said yelling. I stood in front of the mirror thinking what the hairdo for today was going to be. I heard him get out the bed and he opened the bathroom door. “Why you tripping?”

“I aint tripping over nothing. My ass is still standing.”

“Why you gotta be a smart ass?” He said standing behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “Yea I’ll take my baby to work.” I turned around in his arms and smiled, “Give me kiss.”

“Ugh ugh. Go away.”

“Aight that’s word.” I slapped his butt and he closed the bathroom door behind him. I took a shower and straightened my hair. I walked into my closet wrapped up in my towel to see what on heavens I was going to put on. “Beyonce it’s 9:00!” He yelled from my bed. I didn’t respond I just kept searching my closet for something to wear. “Beyonce!”

“Damn I hear you. You aint fifty miles away.” I said peeping my head out the closet door.

“You sho is getting hype as hell in that closet. Yelling at me and shit, step out.” I laughed to myself and stepped out of the closet. “She stepped out of the closet.” He said copying R.Kelly and we both burst out into laughter. “But naw foreal if you don’t put some pep in yo step you gone be late.”

“Baby I’m trying. I don’t know what to put on.” He rolled his eyes and I stepped back into the closet and pulled out a nice polka dot dress with heels to match. I put it on and walked out the closet, “Okay I’m ready.”

“Finally.” He got up and grabbed my car keys, “Wait, what car of yours am I driving?”

“I don’t know just pick one. Surprise me.” I said sarcastically and he smacked his lips and grabbed the keys to my Benz. “Good pick, let’s go I’m already going to be late.”

“Hey that had nothing to do with me baby. You took forever getting ready.”

“Yea, yea, yea.” He opened the front door and we walked hand in hand to my car talking and laughing. “Thanks.” I said as he opened my car door and closed it after I got in.

“Tsk, man why you got this lame ass nigga CD in ya car?” He ejected the CD and tossed it to the backseat of my car.

“Shawn that wasn’t minds that was Tasha’s.” I said reaching back there to get it. “Just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean she can’t.”

“Well she shouldn’t. Nigga is lame as fcuk.”

“Stop cursing so dang much.” I hit him in the back of his head.

“I aint gone put up with you putting ya hands on me now. That’s strike one.”

“Oh no you got me scared. What’s my punishment?”

“I’m gone tear that pu-…”

“Shawn!” I yelled laughing. “Just drive.”

“Aight… but I’m still gone tear that pussy up.” He said giving me this sexy smirk, I playfully rolled my eyes and looked out the window.
**

AFTER THE MEETiNG
11:45 AM.

The meeting was finally over about 15 minutes ago, thank God. It was really about nothing. And I’m being serious, I hate when they pull stupid shit like that, have a 2 hour meeting and not say nothing at all is time wasted. I think they knew I was pissed off because they ended it a little early.

“Beyonce you don’t need to be getting mad over things like this.” My mom said trying to always make peace. I swear she’s a damn peacemaker nowadays.

“Whatever. You mean to tell me that you weren’t mad about that? I mean if you are going to schedule a meeting at 9 something in the morning then make it be worth my time.”

“Hmm, I don’t know why you and Solange both have those types of attitudes.” My mom kept going on and on about how we need to change and pray about it. I just learned to tune her out some of the times, especially when it was about nothing. “Beyonce do you hear me?”

“Yea momma I hear you.” I said with my phone to my ear, she nodded her head and kept going on and on about praying and something else. “Momma why don’t you go and tell Solange? I’m gone pray about it ok.”

“You know what I’m going to do that.” She left the room and I gave her a warm smile. Lord knows I love her with all of my heart, but dang can that woman talk… and about nothing at that.

I hung up the phone and pressed redial, “Hello?”

“Hey umm we are about to go on our lunch break, where are you?”

“Pulling in right now.” We said bye and hung up.

“Come on pastor Tina and Solange… Ty you coming?”

“Nah, I’m supposed to be meeting Treasure.”

“Aww tell her I said hi.” I said as the three of us walked out of the building still listening to my mom talk about something, I don’t know I was looking through my schedule on my PDA and Solange was talking to somebody.

“Mommy!” TiTi said running towards me once I was in eyesight. I picked her up and squeezed her tight kissing her on her cheek. “I miss you.”

“I missed you too baby.” I gave her another kiss and allowed her to get down to say hi to her auntie and nana. “Hey Tasha.” I said kissing her forehead and giving her a hug.

“Hey momma.” I glanced over at Shawn and gave him a warm smile and turned away. “Ha dad! Momma just tried you.”

“No she didn’t. She is going to come say something to me, I don’t know if she gone hug me kiss me or say hi… she gone do something watch.” I snickered to myself because honestly I wasn’t.

“Yea. Okay let’s go down the street to Massima.”

“Dang momma you always trying to pick a place where can’t nobody pronounce the food but you!”

“Fine then you pick a place.”

“Chris steakhouse.” I rolled my eyes because that is the place she always picked so there as no use of arguing, especially since my mom was there. I grabbed TiTi by the hand and we all strolled down to the nearby restaurant.

“So you like really gone play me like that?” Shawn said whispering in my ear interrupting me with the conversation I was having with Tasha. I grabbed his hand and leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Hmm that aint good enough.”

“Well you gone have to wait then.”

“I sure do wish they would stop talking nasty over there!” Solange yelled while walking ahead of us.

“No they’re not because TiTi is standing right there, and they know better.” None other than my mom said that. She wasn’t always like this; I guess she’s happy that Shawn and I are back together that she doesn’t want anything to mess it up… not even my so-called “attitude”.

“Of course we’re not.” I said sarcastically. We arrived at the restaurant and decided on sitting outside since there weren’t too many people there or walking around outside.

The waitress came and took our drink orders and said she would return. She was in her mid 20’s and I’ll admit she was pretty; Shawn tried his hardest not to even look her way or even make any eye contact. “Here you guys go.” She said placing our requested drinks in front of us. “I’ll be right out to take your orders.”

“Thank you.” Shawn said taking a sip of his sprite, “She cute huh bay?”

“Yea Shawn, she’s beautiful.” Even when we were younger he would always say that. He wouldn’t say oh she’s cute, he’ll ask me. “Hmm ladies look at 3 o’clock.” I said looking down at my menu. Right across the street stood this fine light skinned brother with a ripped body.

“Julez need him a daddy, I’ll be right back.” Solange said excusing herself and walking across the street. We all watched in embarrassment as she told this guy to steal her purse on purpose and run, she threatened the guy that she would do something to him because the look in his eyes meant she got him shaken. “Oh no my purse!” She said running as if she was Pamela Anderson on Bay Watch.

The guy quickly ran after him and snatched Solange’s purse, probably feeling like superman now. They engaged into a conversation and she looked at us and winked. They exchanged numbers and she happily walked back across the street and took a seat.

“Solange please don’t tell me you just did that!” I said embarrassed more for myself than her. After she just pulled that stunt she had the nerve to happily skip to our table and sit her happy tale down.

“You the one that pointed out 3 o’clock.” She shot back. “Why can’t I have a man? You got Shawn, Kelly got Ty... well not officially but soon they will be together. Michelle has God and Angie has her job. Why can’t I get into this little jiggy jungle?”

“Now you know you aint no good.” I said trying to hold in my laughter, I refused to laugh at my girls. “Well I didn’t know you was going to say ‘Julez need him a daddy.’ What kind of mess is that?”

“I’m already outnumbered can we not talk about a baby’s daddy and men… please?”

“I guess we can baby… but wait after this. Tasha alert on 12:00.” All the women looked forward and before us stood a fine young men, for Tasha of course. He was dressed real nicely, not his pants hanging all off of his ass. A nice clean cut and Gucci shades.

“And yo ass better not get out yo chair!” Shawn warned and I lightly hit him in his stomach, “What? I already don’t think she should talk to boys until she’s 30… she lucky I’m even letting her look at them now.” I leaned over and discreetly whispered something into his ear, “Ha, see man you can’t be making all these promises…then say oh I wanna wait another 2 years I’m not ready yet.”

“I’m not Mr. Anxious.” He gave me a sexy smirk and I looked up and the whole table was looking at us in disgust. I started looking around scratching my head trying to avoid any eye contact with them.

“I swear yall been together for 24 hours and is already talking about doing the booty.” Solange hissed at us shaking her head in shame.

“It’s way different, we’ve been married before… so booyah with ya stank booty self.” She flipped me the bird and that was probably the biggest mistake ever… she got my momma started. For some reason my mom was all “Holy” and what not.

“Solange stop it. You really need to get that cursing and being rude spirit out of you, all of yall need to come to church with me this Sunday…”

We all looked around at each other and I buried my head into Shawn’s neck so I could laugh. Don’t get me wrong I have a relationship with God and so do my children, but we aren’t really into the whole church thing. I mean waking up every Sunday early in the morning to sit around people that despise me for the fact that my child was born out of wedlock, wasn’t my cup of tea. So in order to go around all of that raucous I just stayed home.

“Nana why are you all of a sudden so… holy?” I couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out laughing. Shawn hit me on my thigh to tell me to shut up because I was probably being rude, but it was just one of those laughs that you can’t hold in.

“Tasha, I’m not all of a sudden holy. I just realize that the world isn’t what it used to be and I came to a conclusion that I need to develop a closer relationship to God.” She glared at me, “And Beyonce I don’t know why yo stank booty self laughing. You need to be up in there with me.”

“I’m gonna go with you momma. Next Sunday.” I said winking at her. I doubt if she took me seriously though. The waitress finally came back and took our orders. The rest of the lunch Shawn and I didn’t say too much to one another, not that we were mad or anything. I don’t know what he was thinking about… but I had a lot of things on my mind that needed to be cleared. A lot of questions that needed answers and a lot of answers that had no questions.

“Momma can I go with Auntie?” TiTi asked as she sat in Solange’s lap eating up her ice cream sundae.

“Yes you can go baby. But I think I’m going to get going, Tasha are you coming with home?”

“No, but is it okay if I hang out with my friends tonight?”

“And do what?”

“Probably go to a movie or bowling or something like that.” Shawn handed her five dollars, “Daddy.”

“Make that shit stretch girl.”

“Mom.” She whined looking at me, and I shook my head laughing.

“Shawn please give her some money so we can go.” I grabbed his hand and he slipped her a hundred dollar bill, “Alright see you guys later. Love you. Tasha, be good I don’t want to get a collect call saying your in jail and will I accept your phone call… because you already know my answer!” I gave her a warning look and Shawn and I left.
**
“What’s wrong with you?” He asked coming to sit down on the couch with me. I shook my head nothing and continued to work on my laptop. “Don’t lie to me.” He said slowly closing my computer and looking me dead in the eyes. He grabbed a hold of my hands and kissed them, “You can tell me anything.”

“I… I just wanted to know if you think us getting together was best for us and the family?”

He let go of my hands and rubbed his freshly cut head, “Honestly?” I nodded my head yes, “I don’t think…”

Sat May 15, 2021 7:32 pm

CHAPTER 12:
SHAWN’S P0V
C0NTINUATI0N 0F C0NV0:

“I don’t think… “ I stared deeply into her eyes, “I don’t think… we could’ve made a better decision. I mean yea we gone go through some bumps and bruises along the way, it’s only natural that it happens. But I’m willing to make this work, I put you through way too much shit in the past… and I wanna make up for it, for both you and our kids. They deserve to have two parents in one household and they deserve to see the definition of true love. They say that if you love something let it go, and if it comes back then that’s how you’ll know… and I think we both know what’s up. But if you aint ready to be in this relationship with me, then please… tell me now before I fall too hard and then go through hell trying to pick myself back up.”

“I want to be with you, trust me. I just don’t wanna move too fast. I don’t want my feelings to move faster than my heart will allow.” I touched the side of her face gently and she looked up at me with watery eyes.

“Girl we can move slower than a damn snail it don’t matta to me, I got you… I got my girls… I got my family back. That’s all that matters.” She gave me a warm smile and I cupped her chin in my hands and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, “You cool?”

She curled up her top lip, “Yea… I’m cool.” She said making us both laugh. She rested her head on my shoulder and played with my hands. “You wanna go get a manicure and pedicure with me?”

I looked down at her in the corner of my eye, “Nope. Not really, baby I aint in to all that. I’m from Marcy not Manhattan. Niggas don’t care how they hands and feet look, I’m too much of a thug to let some Chinese lady paint on my toes.” She let out a cute giggle, “But you can go.”

“No, I wanna go with you.”

I let out a sigh and put my hand on my head, “You really want me to go?” She nodded her head and I let out a cry, “What if my niggas see me up in there.”

“You shouldn’t care what yo niggas think of you when you’re with me.” All right she got me on that one, I shouldn’t care and I don’t care… I just honestly didn’t want to go.

“Ugh, lets go.” I said getting up and reaching out my hands to help her up, she grabbed them and I pulled her up, “We are going to make this fast Beyonce, and I don’t want no lil bunnies all on my nails and shit.”

“I’ll try to tell them, but they don’t speak no English.” She said trying to sound Mexican.

“That’s Spanish you retard.”

“Same difference.” She said laughing at her lack of knowledge. I shook my head at her and we walked out the door with her.

SOLANGE’S P0V
SETTING:
AT H0ME
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/palazzo_west_1.jpg)

Julez and TiTi were in the playroom playing video games and I was scheduling some things on email with my assistant. Marquez was still on my mind, (the guy that I met today). He was almost perfection, straight white pretty teeth, body was nice and firm, shoes looked brand new (A/N; girls yall know yall be looking at the guys shoes too), and his fit was nice. No grills, no baggy pants but not too tight, we don’t do that honey. He talked like he had some sense and he didn’t seem star struck because of who I am and who I’m related to. Was I interested in him? Yes. Was I going to call him? No. I go by some of my own rules and making the first call wasn’t in the handbook. If the man is interested enough then he would call you.

I walked into the playroom to sit with the kids and watch them play, “Are yall being good?”

“Yes.” They said unison probably tuning me out and just answering. I sat and watched them play some stupid video game Daniel bought for Julez; he probably thought a video game was going to make up for him not seeing him. Hmm, well he gone need more than one damn video game to make up for the time he missed out on, but that’s a whole nother story.

My sidekick started ringing and Marquez’s name popped up. I smiled to myself and waited till about the fourth ring. Another one of my rules, don’t answer on the first ring… you’ll sound desperate and make it seem as if you were waiting on the call. Usually the third of fourth ring means you were busy or on the phone and not up waiting on his phone call. Take notes ladies, “Hello?”

“Hey Solange, this is Marquez.”

I took a 3 second pause and pretended like I was trying to think of who he was, “Oh yea, hey how you doing?” Never act like you remember his name on the first call, it’ll make you seem as if you get no game whatsoever.

“I’m doing pretty well, it’s not everyday I come across a beautiful lady like yourself… still trying to get back my composure.” We shared a light laugh, “No I’m just playing, but how are you?” Hmm-nice humor, not the funniest guy in the world. But hey what the hell not everybody’s a damn comedian.

“I’m doing okay, just a tad bit busy.” I said sitting on the beanbag in the playroom not doing a damn thing.

“Oh do you want me to call back?” He asked politely.

“Umm yea that’ll be good, maybe around 8 or 9 will be fine.”

“Okay talk to you later.” We said our goodbyes and I hung up my phone smiling. See you have to make him think that you were just that busy doing whatever it was you want to be doing because if you say call me back in 5 minutes, then you sound desperate and you have no life at all. Making the call back time a few hours away makes it seem as if you actually have a “life” and you are a busy woman, trust me men love that!

BEY0NCE’S P0V
SETTING:
AT THE NAIL SH0P
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/salon.jpg?t=1189481149)

Both Shawn and I were sitting in the chairs getting our pedicures, our backs getting massaged by the chairs and our feet soaking in the bubbling hot water with oils. I don’t think he was enjoying it as much as I was, but he didn’t look too bothered. But what man does enjoy going to the nail shop with their lady and listening in on the normal gossip and the Chinese talk about us.

“You doing okay over there?” I asked adjusting my position in the vibrating chair.

“Hell naw it smell so bad in here.” He said putting his shirt over his nose.

“You’ll get used to it.”

“I aint coming here no more with you, take Tasha or your friends. This place aint for men.” Just then Ty and Kelly came walking in, Ty looking just how Shawn did when we walked in. “Ty man don’t tell me she got you coming here too?”

“Ugh, I got threatened to come.” He said plopping down in the chair next to Shawn. The both of them had the most pitiful looks on their faces as if they were to pick the nail shop or death. They could’ve easily put their foots down and so no, but them being a sucker for love went against their own thoughts and came with us.

“Stop fronting Ty, you know you wanted to come here.” Kelly said, “Hey baby.” She said giving me a light hug and kiss on the cheek. You could tell Ty had a heavy affect on her, ever since the Vegas trip she has been glowing and just seems so much happier. Even if they aren’t together yet, I know that the day will soon come.

“Hey hun. Aww you look cute.”

“I try.” She said spinning around and we both giggled. “Where are my nieces?”

“TiTi is with Solo and Tasha is with her friends.”

We all finished getting our manicures and pedicures. Kelly and I got designs on our feet while the men just got massages and clear polish. Shawn insisted that I get his name on my nails but that is just too ghetto, and I was not about to walk around with his name on my nails. So I just got a ‘S’ on my ring finger/

“Ugh. I still say you shoulda went ahead and got my name on all of your fingers… that would be fly huh Ty?” Shawn said wrapping his arm around my shoulder as the paparazzi snapped photos of us walking out of the shop.

“Hell yea. Represent for yo nigga, when me and Kelly go out she gone get a tattoo.” He said wrapping his arm around her waist and she disgustedly removed it.

“Nigga that’s if we go out. At this rate, eh no.” She said jokingly, Shawn and I laughed at the fact that she just played him like that. ”I’m just playing honey… you know I’m gonna be yours.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss… it was just too cute.

“Ay Ty! Man you wanna hit them carts today? Mathew called and said that he was going around 5.”

“Ooh baby I wanna go on the go karts.” I said whining and mad at the fact he didn’t ask me if I wanted to attend the event.

“No baby, Golf Carts. Meaning go golfing you know when you use the club and hit the ball?” He said slowly as if I was retarded and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Oh how boring.” Kelly and I said at the same time, only old people go golfing. “Baby you don’t even golf.” I said teasing him.

“Yes I can. I just choose not to, but I can golf. You betta ask about ya nigga baby because me and Tiger go way back.” He said as if they were the best of friends.

“Shawn but Tiger wasn’t from Marcy.” I said bursting his bubble and we all laughed in unison.

“Man whatever, just know that my golf game is tight aight. But Ty I’m gone call you before we leave so you can meet us up there.”

“Yea man just call me like at 3:00.” Shawn nodded his head in agreement and opened the passenger door for me to get in.

“Baby I wanna go.” I said trying to seem as if I was the least bit interested in a white ball going into our mother earth. All I really wanted to do was go shopping for golfing outfits with the ladies.

“Aight get in the car and I’ll think about it.” He joked and I rolled my eyes and sat down. He closed the door and walked slowly to the driver side. “Why you wanna all of a sudden go golfing? I thought it was boring.” He said backing out of the parking lot.

(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/hovbee6.jpg?t=1189481414)

“It still is boring. I just want the girls and I to go shopping for our golf outfits.”

“See you tryna go for the wrong reasons, golfing isn’t a fashion show. You don’t go there just to try and look cute bay.”

“You didn’t let me finish what I was trying to say.”

“Aight then finish.”

“We want to go shopping so that way it might help our game a little bit.” I said lying; hitting a damn ball was the least bit of my interest. But bombarding in on their so-called manly fun would be one hella of laugh.

“Aight Beyonce I believe you… come if you please it doesn’t bother me.” He said pulling up to the gates to his community.

“Well me, Tasha, my mom and Kelly are all going to go shopping for outfits and we are going to go.” I demanded and he shook his head laughing. I called up Kelly and my mom and they both agreed. Now Tasha was the last to call, I knew that she didn’t want to go… so I knew that some bribing was about to take place.

“Momma I don’t wanna go to a damn golf course. How lame would I look?” She complained into the phone.

“Watch your mouth Tasha. And why don’t you want to go, it’s gonna be fun.”

“Momma for starters it’s too hot for all of that, second of all my hair is going to sweat out. Momma you know my edges be getting all puffy, you only gave the good genes to TiTi… ol lucky stank booty ugly lil heffa. And third… it just aint fun.”

“Please Tasha, it is going to be fun all of us are going to be having a nice time together enjoying the LA sun.” I lied to her.

“And that right there is enough for me to say I don’t want to go. All daddy’s gonna do is put all these limitations and restrictions on how I dress and to whom I may look at.”

“I won’t let him, plus he’ll be too busy playing he won’t notice a damn thing… right baby?” He nodded his head not even hearing a word that I just said listening to his loud ass music. “See he said he won’t.”

“Fine only on one circumstance…” I sighed heavily and she went on, “You and dad have to think about letting me to go a dance academy next year for school.”

“Of course I will think about it, but the chances of you getting the answer that you’d like are very slim… so are you going to go or not lil girl? If so you need to say something because we’re going shopping.”

“Fine, since you are going to at least think about me going… I’ll go. Just pick me up on the way, I’m over at Solmunki.”

“Tasha you don’t have to go!! Don’t listen to your mom!!” Shawn yelled from the background. I swear he has selective hearing, he hears whatever he wants to hear and the rest of it he just blocks out.

I hit him in his chest, “You shut up and drive. Bye Tasha I’ll come and get you.” We said our goodbyes and I faced Shawn. “Ugh you get on my nerves… if you don’t want us ladies to go then just say so.” I said, hell even if he didn’t want us to go we were going to go anyways.

“It’s not that I don’t want you guys to go with us, I just know how you women act. You get mad because you can’t hit any balls, then us men are actually enjoying ourselves and then you guys want to leave and start complaining and ing to us about how hot it is or how hungry you guys are. And then we will fall into your little pity party and then end up ruining our fun just to please you ladies. And most likely you guys would want to go shopping and spend all of our money buying shoes and unnecessary household items.” He paused and looked at me, “I know you Beyonce you would pull some sly shit like that.”

The bad thing about his whole stupid ass speech was that it was reality. Of course we were going to get mad and end up whining and complaining to them about anything, and want to leave and go shopping. But that’s not the point, the point is Shawn was supposed to want us to go whether or not we b.itch and whine.

“Now please tell me I’m lying.” He said pulling into his curvy driveway leading up to the garage.

I gave him a dirty look, “You’re lying. We just wanna go to have fun with each other but it seems like you just wanna brush me off to the side.” He grabbed a hold of my hand and kissed it.

“Why would I do that for? You my bay.” I smiled and sat back in my seat sending a message to my mom and Kelly. ‘Meeting at Ralph Lauren in 20 minutes… be there.’

I smiled to myself and we got out of the car and made our way into his house. “Ugh you so need a woman’s touch to this place. It’s such a bachelor’s pad. No feminine touches whatsoever.” I said making myself comfortable on his couch.

“Did you happen to forget I am a man? Why in the hell would I want feminine touches added on to my crib? What the hell I look like to you?”

“Oh shut up, I’m just saying. You definitely need to let Kelly hook up your place, look at mines. It’s beautiful.”

“Yea for a female. When we finally decide to move in together, we’ll add a little of each our flavor’s to the palace…” He plopped down on the sofa next to me propping his feet up on the arm of the couch and his head lying on my arm.

“And when exactly will that be?” I said admiring my freshly did manicure.

He shrugged his shoulders, “Whenever you feel the time is right. I mean our relationship is different from any other relationship… we’ve been married before. So it’s not like I can really say we are moving too fast or moving too slowly with things… ya know?” I looked down at him in the corner of my eye.

“Yea I guess so… but baby I’m getting ready to leave, told the girls I would be there in 30 minutes.”

“Where are yall going shopping at?”

“Ralph Lauren.” I stated dryly and lifted his head up and sat up. “If I’m late I might not make our meeting… bye baby.” I bent down and planted a nice juicy kiss on his lips letting my lips linger around for a minute.

He pulled back with a peck, “Here take my card, and buy anything you want.”

“Shawn I don’t need your money.”

“Now that you are with me, I don’t want you spending your money. You my girl right?” I nodded my head yes, “Aight then, take it and have fun. We are leaving at 4:30, don’t be late.” I slipped his card in my wallet and stuck it back into my purse. “Be safe baby.”

“I will.” I gave him a nice long juicy kiss, “Hmm we’ll finish later.” I said wiping the corners of my mouth, he sighed and I gave him another kiss. “Bye.” As I was walking to car I called Tasha and told her that I would be on my way.
**

All five us walked into Ralph Lauren ready to find some cute outfits for this so called golfing event. I had no clue in hell as what to wear to a golf course. I know that all this dressing up was really uncalled for, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to a golf course to play.

“Momma I am not into this type of stuff.” Tasha said complaining looking through the racks, “The Polo’s maybe but not this other ish.”

“Tasha you can get a Polo and some nice cute slacks, either that or wear jeans. You can be the odd ball if you want.” I picked out a light pink Polo with some cute tan bermuda shorts. And for Tasha I picked out some ugly ass outfit and made her try it on.

“Nana look at what my mom is trying to have me dressed in and look at what she got.” Tasha said coming out of the dressing room with this cute little golf outfit, it had little bows and everything on it.

“Beyonce I know you did not!” Kelly said laughing as she got a good look of what she actually had on. The outfit was made to be a joke, I’d be damned if my child wore anything of the sort.

“Nana!” She whined stomping her foot.

“What Tasha? I happen to like it.” Once she said that it was over for Kelly, and me we burst out into laughter almost in tears. My mom looked at us as if she didn’t realize why we seemed to be filled with giggle and laughter.

“That’s it I’m not going.” She said going back into the dressing room.

I hit Kelly in her arm, “Look at what you did!” I knocked on Tasha’s door and she opened it, “I’m sorry baby… here try this on it’s not a joke this time.” I gave her a kiss on the forehead and handed her the cute button up striped blue and white shirt with some white shorts… the outfit was a real cute combination.

“Al right see that’s cute baby girl.” Kelly said as she opened the door and stepped out, “My God did you get your momma’s body… Hmm God bless your poor soul.”

“Quit hatin Kells. I like baby, take it off and let’s pay for our things.”

We paid for our outfits and headed out to our cars. “Beyonce can I have your autograph please?” An adorable little girl said running up to me with a pen and paper.

“Sure sweety.” I gave it to her and took a picture and she left. “Al right we’ll see you guys later!” I said getting into the car and Tasha getting into the passenger side.

“Momma so have you thought about me going to a dance and arts academy yet?” She said letting that be the first thing to escape her mouth.

“Honestly no I haven’t. As the time draws near, I’ll have an answer but for right now no. And I don’t want anymore discussion about it until your dad and I talk about it.” She nodded her head and I headed to Shawn’s place and we changed and all left together.
**

AT THE GOLF COURSE:
(https://2img.net/h/i151.photobucket.com/albums/s158/young_hov_23/tustin-ranch-golf-club.jpg?t=1189481482)

We’ve only been here for one hour and I was already irritated. These damn shoes hurt my feet, see that’s why I’m forever in heels… tennis shoes or whatever these doggone things are called boat shoes, aren’t me. The sun was beaming as if we were eggs waiting to be cooked and I was hungry. And my balls wouldn’t go in the dang hole, golf is way too frustrating for me and it needed a lot of patience something I was very low on at the moment.

“Beyonce your doing it wrong you goof ball.” Shawn said standing behind me trying to help me hit the ball correctly.

“I give up, this sport is not for me.” I said about to walk away but he grabbed me by my wrist.

“No don’t give up, come here I’ll help you.” I don’t really know how much helping he could do; I needed real professional serious help. I had no coordination whatsoever with the ball and the club, the grass was in my way.

“I’m trying but this damn grass is in my way, how come we can’t do it in the sand?” I said complaining.

“Because, now quit complaining and let me help you.” I took a deep sigh and grabbed onto the stupid ass club, “Al right now swing backward but don’t hit the ball…” I did as he said with his hands lightly on top of mines; “See right dab in the center of the ball is where you want to hit it, if you hit it any where else it’s going to go flying in every direction.” I laughed to myself at the fact that he was trying to help me, it was like a blind person teaching another blind person to read… it just wasn’t happenin. “Al right now hit it.” He backed up and I swung. I looked up searching for my ball in the mid air.

“Where the hell is my ball?”

“Umm momma, I hate to umm burst your bubble and all… but you aint hit it.” I looked back at everybody and then at the ground and there sat that stupid ass ball on the little thing sticking from the grass.

“I’m done.” I said tossing my club and walking to the golf car and sitting down pouting at the fact that everybody could hit a ball except for me. Even Tasha can golf and she is probably the girlish girl you have ever seen. It was way too hot and for me to be playing around in the doggone sun anyway.

“Aww baby don’t get mad. Golf aint for everybody.” Shawn said walking over to the cart and kissing my check, “You ready to go?”

“No, I’m hungry though.”

“Beyonce please tell us something we do not know!” My dad said and I rolled my eyes at him, “You are hungry after just eating a damn whole rack of ribs by ya damn self…you being hungry now is no surprise to me.”

“Daddy shut up.” I said throwing a water bottle at him.

“Sign number one, throwing things.” He said catching it and we all laughed. Even I had to laugh at that one, it wasn’t really that funny because for the simple fact it was about me for goodness sakes.

“Mathew stop talking about her like that, that’s my baby if she’s hungry then she’s hungry even if she is 24/7.” I glared at her for the simple fact that she wasn’t making any of the matters better at hand.

“It’s alright Bee because my ass is hungry too.” Kelly said joining me in the hungry club, “Can we please go? This is mad boring and it’s too damn hot outside for any black person to be trying to play some damn golf.”

“See that’s why yall need to get smart like me and wear sun block and bring an umbrella to block the beaming sun. Obviously you guys came unprepared.”

“No you just too boogi for your own good.” Ty said making us all laugh. “Aint no way in the world all of that is necessary to go golfing.”

“If you want to stay your skin complexion it is, but if you want to end up looking like Flava Flav then do ya thang!” He said making a good point, “Unless your abnormal like Beyonce who actually tans in the sun…then I guess you’re ay okay.”

“Whatever dad. Can we just please go? My daughter is hungry.” I said speaking for Tasha so that way they would stop making hungry jokes about myself.

“Ugh, looks like it’s a rap fellas. The ladies have once again ruined our trip, but of course they got some kind of fun out of it. They go shopping and buy new clothes to come to a damn golf course but don’t do anything but complain. See- “ My dad kept going on and on as we all got into our carts and headed to the main building to turn them in. “Next trip no ladies and that’s final.” He said still going once we parked all of our carts and walked into the office.

“Al right Mat, we heard you. Okay now shut up, before you make me go outside of my Christianity!” My momma said making us laugh.

“Alright but next time I’m serious, when I ask the guys to come no ladies. Or at least just no Beyonce, she complain too damn much.”

“I love you too dad!” I said kissing him on his cheek as he just sat there talking about me. “I know you love me too no need to say it.”

“Hmm no worries. I wasn’t going to anyways.” He said and I chuckled because he was actually upset that I so called ruined his golf outing.

We all got into our cars and went to a nice restaurant to eat. Lord knows I was hungry as hell, felt like I was pregnant with TiTi.

“Baby would you stop doing that all of the time.” I said once again swatting away his hands because he tried the stick his straw into my drink once again.

“Well if you offered then maybe I would stop.” I rolled my eyes and held my straw for him to drink some. “Mama T you see how selfish your daughter is?”

“Yes I see and I’m telling you all of you guys need to come to church with me tomorrow.”

“Dang daddy why you get her started?” Tasha said upset and I chuckled.

“No I’m serious Tasha, I want the whole family to come with me and Mat to church tomorrow. Baby isn’t our church great?”

“Yea babe it’s awesome.” He said sarcastically and my momma gave him an evil glare, “Naw foreal it’s a great church, as bad as all of yall are you guys need to be up at the Altar every doggone Sunday.”

“Dad I know you not talking basically cursing me out earlier.”

“See I can do that… I go to church.” He said brushing off his shoulders as if he were actually considered somewhat cool.

“Yall please don’t listen to him… he doesn’t know much.” My mom said putting down his ego, “Just promise me you guys will come tomorrow.”

“We promise.” We all said in unison.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:32 pm

CHAPTER 13:
BEY0NCE’S P0V
SETTING:
MATHEW AND TINA'S H0USE
AFTER CHURCH 0N SUNDAY

Today as a family we went to church just like we said we were. At first I was very skeptical on going just because I know how church folk are, and how most of them judge you on your past. But this church was the exact opposite from my thoughts. They were very welcoming and loveable and not just because of our ‘name’, they were truly sweet and sincere. The service was great and we all enjoyed it, it was really a great idea for us all to go as a family. After church we all went to my parent’s house because my mom was cooking Sunday dinner, and everybody wasn’t going to miss out on this meal.

“Momma can you go pick up Kayla tonight?” Tasha asked me joining Shawn and I on the couch.

“Tonight?” I questioned, I really didn’t feel like driving out there tonight at all.

“Please mom.” She pleaded batting her eyelashes as if I were going to fall for that.

“Tell her on my way home from work tomorrow I’ll come by and pick her up, but not tonight.” She sighed and whined, “Take it or leave it.”

“Fine.” She said walking off with her phone reconnected to her ear. I yawned and laid my head on Shawn’s shoulder and he ran his fingers through my hair while I intertwined my hand with his.

“What’s wrong baby?” He said and kissed me on my head and I shook my head, “Why you seem so sad?”

I looked up at him with a smile on my face, “How can I be sad? I’m here with you.” He smiled and I gave him a soft gentle peck on the lips.

“Cooties!” Solange said coming into the living room pointing at us as if she was a little girl in preschool, that still thought boys had cooties.

“Oh shut up.” I said laying my head in the crease of his neck. “What do you want butter butt?”

“Just to come and bother my favorite sister.” She said sitting down in my lap wrapping her arms around my neck, “And of course my brother in law that loves me oh so much!”

Shawn made a face and we all laughed, “Naw I’m just playing. I’ll be in the kitchen baby.” I nodded my head and looked at Solange whom was staring at me mad hard.

“Yes?”

“Oh nothing…” She said smiling and playfully rolling her eyes. I gave her the infamous eyebrow, “Okay damn. I’m just happy for you Bee, I mean when your happy I’m happy. When you’re down I’m down. And it’s refreshing to know that you’re happy… that’s all.”

“Aww Solange, that was the sweetest thing your ass could’ve ever said to me my entire life.” I joked and we both laughed, “No I’m just playing, but same for you boo. So you talk to your superman?”

“Who that nigga from yesterday?” I nodded my head yes, “Yea we talked all last night. His name is Marquez and so far he’s a gentlemen.” I gave her that yea right look, “Okay he’s a damn stud. Bee his voice is just so damn soothing…make a girl wet immediately just by hearing him say hello.”

“Okay damn Solange. Too much information.” I said pushing her off my lap and leaving her on the couch laughing.

“I’m not done!”

“Well if you gone keep telling me all that damn information I’m done listening!” I said laughing and going into the kitchen and saw Shawn making TiTi a plate, “Hey baby girl.” I gave Tierra a kiss on her head and she hugged on to my leg.

“Mommy tell daddy I don’t want that.” She said whining and I looked at her plate to see what Shawn was putting on her plate.

“Shawn what are you putting on her plate?”

“Just some vegetables… and she’s whining. She needs to eat them.” He said shrugging his shoulders. I looked down at TiTi and shrugged my shoulders meaning I couldn’t help her. She started crying and whining and I picked her up, “TiTi shut it up, I’m only giving you a little bit.”

“Come on let’s go eat.” I said to her and I sat down with her in my lap, and Shawn sat in the chair next to us with some dessert on his plate. “Here.” I said trying to feed her and she shook her head no. “Stop acting like a little baby…”

“No mommy!!” She buried her head in my chest and I sighed placing her fork back onto the table. I wasn’t in the mood to fight with her so I just rocked her back in and forth in my arms. I looked over at Shawn and he was smiling and shaking his head.

“What? You got her like this.” I said to him and we both chuckled because he knew it was true. I try my best not to spoil my children but it’s sometimes hard. “You going to your house tonight?” I asked.

“About that… my real-estate agent called me last night and told me about this house that I want to look at.”

“Oh you’re moving?”

“ No baby… we’re moving. We’re a family now, and we shouldn’t have to keep going back and forth between houses anymore. I want to do this the right way not living in two different homes. You down?”

“Yea.” I said smiling and I heard TiTi snore and I knew she had fell asleep, “I’m sure the kids would love that.” He smiled and lightly ran his hand across my cheek caressing my soft skin. “You wanna leave?” I said already reading his mind.

He bit down on his bottom lip and nodded his head yes, “What about the kids.”

“I got that covered.” I whispered to him and got up and walked to the den where everybody else was and the whole time I felt Shawn’s eyes burning a hole through my ass and I just couldn’t wait for him to rock my damn world. “Momma can the girls stay over here tonight?” I said taking a seat next to her.

“Hell naw!” My dad blurted out as if I was actually talking to him, “Especially not the one in your arms… hell naw… leave them monkey’s here and I will return to sender!”

“Mathew shut up.” My mom scolded at him, “Why do you want them to stay here?”

“So her and Shawn can do that nasty!” Michelle blurted out.

“Oh shut up.” I said to her, “Momma because we have plans tonight.” I whispered in her ear. And she looked at me confused and I gave her the eye nod and her eyes got wide. “Yea.” I said bouncing my eyebrows.

“Oh yea they can stay over… you guys are leaving right now?” I nodded my head yes and laid TiTi down on the couch and kissed her cheek. “Be safe.”

“Heffa don’t get stupid and not call us!” Kelly yelled out and I winked my eye at her, she know damn well I’m gone tell them.

“All squared away.” I said to Shawn, I ran my hands down his chest whispering in his ear. “We can go now.” I softly bit his ear and he nodded his head standing up.

He grabbed my hands and we walked together to the car. He opened the door for me and we drove to his house in silence, the only thing that was playing was the radio and even that was at a low volume.

Once we arrived at his house he led me into his bedroom and nothing was said because nothing needed to be said. We both knew what each other wanted and what each other needed… and that was each other. I needed to feel him inside of me and he needed to feel inside of me. He lay down on his bed and I slid off my heels and climbed on top of him lying down.

We engaged in a sweet and passionate make out session, letting our tongues become more acquainted with each other. His hands slid up and down my lower back before actually reaching my ass. He softly rubbed it sending a quick reaction to pussy. I pulled back and stared at him deeply in his eyes.

“I love you Shawn.” I said as tears formed into my eyes. I haven’t said that in years, and to say it now and actually mean it meant the world to me. It felt like another chapter was being opened in my life… no not a chapter. But an entire book was being written all over again, but this time it was going to last for eternity.

“I love you to Beyonce.” He said with just as much passion as the very first time he said it. “I love you so much baby. I’ll be right back.” He whispered to me and got up and went into the bathroom.

While he was gone I got undressed and laid back down on the bed propped up on my elbows awaiting the man of my dreams to bless my yearning body with his now hardened wood. After about 5 minutes he came out of the bathroom and was in total shock as he stare at my bare body lying on the bed. “You scared now?” I asked seductively.

“Hell naw I aint scared.” He slowly walked towards me and climbed in between my legs planting kisses on my thighs as his head was making his way towards mines.

“Take this off.” I said tugging at his pants and he did as I said and I lifted his shirt off his head and tongued him down. As we both lay there butt naked you could feel the hormones throbbing and the adrenaline rising, both of our bodies were in need. His thick full luscious lips went from my hungry lips down to my neck covering it with wet licks and kisses sending my hormones to an all time high. “Stop stalling.” I said while moaning in his ear.

“Do you love me?” I nodded my head, “Do you want to be with me forever?” I had the same response. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” I stated while staring into his heart-warming eyes full of passion and love. He slowly slid into me with just the tip of his head while our eyes stayed connected. I squeezed my eyes closed from the pain his 9-inch was giving me, the last time we had sex I was drunk and I didn’t feel a damn thing. But now, oh my Jesus.

“You alright?”

“Yea.” He bent down and gently kissed my lips adding tongue, just his gentle touch made cream even harder.

“You wet as hell ma.” He said before sliding all of him inside of me to the point where I could feel him in my guts. The pain was gone and pleasure took over my yearning body. We stared deeply at me while sliding slow deep strokes inside of me. My body moving up and down along with his, the feeling was beyond great. My eyes starting rolling in the back of my head as he spread my left leg farther apart so he could go in deeper. I didn’t know how deep he was trying to get, I already could feel him in my guts… was he trying to stick it through my mouth.

“Hmm… keep it right there.” His strokes slowed up even slower once he felt my walls tightening up around his dick.

“Uh unh… not yet.” His lips went down to my breast as he sucked on each nipple while still pumping in and out. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from screaming and tears formed in my eyes because the feeling I was getting from this man was incredible. It was something that only his body could give no other man could claim this pussy as his but my baby, and that was the only person that could get this. “Whose is this?” He said as his strokes sped up making the headboard bang against the wall.

“Yours.” I screamed at him.

“That’s what I thought.” Him just speaking like this to me made me want to give in but my body was determined to continue on with the great feeling of this extraordinary dick. “Shit.” He said feeling himself about to bust.

“Shawwwwnnnnnn.” I yelled as I nut all over his already wet dick.

”Hold on baby I’m coming.” He did 3 strong rough strokes and nut inside of me. He fell out on top of me as we both lay trying to regain composure of our heavy breathing. “I love you Beyonce.” He rolled off of me and pulled my body closer to his and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I love you too Shawn.” He removed the hair from my face and planted a kiss on my forehead and before you know it we were both out.

THE NEXT M0RNING
SHAWN’S P0V

I woke up to the sun shining through the cracks in the closed blinds, and no Beyonce lying next to me. I smiled to myself just thinking about last night and how badly we both needed that. To have such a beautiful woman in my life, or should I say back into my life felt blissful. I now felt complete, I didn’t have to go out on the road and get none from any groupies any more… I had the best chick in the universe rocking my last name. I most definitely would go crazy if I was to lose her again to something as stupid as before.

I got up and slipped on a pair of boxers and a wife beater and brushed my teeth and washed my face. As I was making my way to the kitchen I smelt breakfast and the smell of freshly made coffee. I walked into the kitchen and saw Beyonce in a wife beater and boy shorts cooking something on the stove.

“Hmmm it smells good in here.” I said hugging her from behind and she turned around in my arms. “Good morning.”

“Good morning to you too. Hungry?”

“Of course.” I gave her a gentle peck on the lips, “Especially from last night… my God.” She giggled and I let her go sitting down at the table. “What time you going in for work?”

“I was supposed to be there at 8, but seeing that it’s already 8:45 then I’m going in at 10… you got work?” She said bringing me a plate and sitting it down in front of me with a cup of coffee.

“Yea I’m going into the studio with Timbaland today… to work on this last album of mines.”

“You nervous about leaving the game.” She said propping her feet up in my lap as I ate. “I mean you have been in there for so long.”

“Naw I aint nervous, it’s about time I retire from the game and let one of these youngins shine. You aint gone eat bay?”

“Nah I’m not too hungry. But I’m going to go get dressed okay.” She gave me a kiss and walked past me to go to the bedroom.

“Shawty gotta ass on her… I’m put my hands on her… I’m gone spend a couple grand on her… I’m pop a rubber band on her.” She turned around and started laughing. “Thank God for booty.” I said holding my hands together as if I were praying.

“You are so stupid.”

**

BEY0NCE’S P0V

I walked into the House of Dereon office and all eyes were on me. Ty, Solange, my mom and our assistant Cathy were all staring at me as if I were a goddess. I gave them a warm smile and sat my purse and coffee down on the table and walked over to the design table where the four of them were.

“What is wrong wit yall?”

“B.itch do not play dumb!! We all know Shawn waxed that shit last night.” Solange said only to receive a hit in the head by my mom. “Ouch dang momma.”

“Well than stop using all those curse words in front of me.” My mom placed her attention back on me, “So how was your night?”

“Umm well it was night… which meant it was dark outside and that’s usually when people go to sleep. So I guess it was just like any ol night.” I said lying through my teeth.

“See and that’s how we know this heffa is lying. If anybody asks a person how was your night… they wouldn’t start going into all this ish you went into. It’s good, bad, or just okay. Yo dumb ass just told on yaself boo.” Ty said causing me to blush, “Spill it hoe.”

“Okay umm… we made love I guess. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Looks like we’ll have to go into detail at our lunch break.” My mom said and I blew them off and we got down to work.

LATER 0N THAT DAY
6:30
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“Momma can me and Kayla go to our friend Brian’s house?” Tasha asked as I worked on my laptop, I tried to block her out because she was always asking for something. First she asked me to go pick up Kayla and so I did, because that is my little cousin and I do love her. Now she’s asking me to take the both of them to some lil boy Brian’s house. “Momma!!”

“What lil girl, I’m trying to work.” I said looking up from my laptop.

“Can you take us to Brian’s house? He’s having a kick back.”

“Who the hell is Brian?” I said looking between the two teenagers that stood before me bugging the hell outta me also.

“Our friend, you remember him. His dad is a famous producer…” Kayla said and I looked at the both of them trying to see if they were lying.

“What’s his dad’s name?”

”Okay fine maybe is dad’s not a producer. But can we still go?”

“Tasha and Kayla you two listen to me, I am going to take the both of you to whateva the nigga name is house. I’m the trusting the both of you to respect yourselves…”

“Momma.” Tasha whined cutting me off.

“Momma my foot. Do you two understand?”

“Yes ma’am.” The both of them said in unison.

“Give me my keys and let’s go.” I said to them and I went and slid some flip-flops on and told TiTi to come on. “TiTi come on baby girl.”

“Where we going?” She said following behind me outside of the house and to my car.

“To drop these two monkeys off somewhere. Get in the car and buckle up.” She got in and I closed the door behind her and out came Tasha and Kayla. Tasha hopped in the front and Kayla in the back, “What time am I coming to pick you guys up?” I said placing my cell phone on the car charger and backing out of the driveway.

“Umm around 3 is good.” Tasha said and I looked at her like she was crazy as hell.

“Tasha you must be out yo damn mind. It’s almost 7 now, no later than 12:00.”

“Mom is you serious.”

“Fine then don’t go.” I said getting ready to put the car back into drive and pull into the driveway.

“No Beyonce!! Tasha shut up!” Kayla yelled at her and I continued on driving listening to Tank’s CD.

“Get the hell outta my car.” I said jokingly pulling up to the nice home, “Keep your phones on, if I get a damn voice mail I’m coming up here and whoopen ass.”

“Alright mom, bye.” She said before closing the door and I pulled off. “TiTi you alright mamas?”

“No… brain hurts.” She said putting her hand on her loose curly hair.

“Aww, we on our way home and I’ll give you some medicine and we can lay down okay.” She nodded her head and closed her eyes resting her head against her car seat. Once we arrived home she was knocked out and I carried her in the house and laid her down in the bed and I soon joined her after talking to Shawn. He was still at the studio and said he wouldn’t be home until late. I set my alarm for 11:45 and went to sleep with TiTi lying on my chest.

TASHA’S P0V
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It was about 15 of us just hanging out in Brian’s den/ game room. This guy that I have liked for a while was there named Shaquel. The feeling between the both of us was mutual but I have heard way too many things about him and his past. He was a ladies man of course but whenever he got around me he seemed like a cool and chill guy.

“Wats up Tasha.” He said coming and sitting next to me on the couch. I looked away and closed my eyes tight he was just too sexy.

“Hey Shaquel… how you doing?” I said finally able to look him in his big brown eyes. From the way his curly short hair looked to his smooth brown caramel skin looked made me instantly blush.

“I’m doing pretty good… and yourself?”

“I’m doing good.”

“That’s good. Hows ya summer going so far?”

“Great, best summer ever…” I said smiling at the fact that this was the summer that my parents got back together. I’m sure he’s heard about it, it’s been all over the papers now. “How bout yours?”

“It’s been alright. It would better if me and you would chill.” I smiled at him and he returned it showing off his straight pearly smile. “You are just too cute you know that.” He said caressing my chin and I took a deep breath and smiled at him enjoying his touch. “Ay Brian yall got some music or something?” He yelled across the room.

“Oh yea we got some.” He dimmed the lights and turned put in Pretty Ricky’s album.

The whole room became a damn make out session; everybody was making out with somebody even Kayla and her fast ass. Sasha was kissing some guy named Jacquez. I looked at Shaquel and he was staring dead at me.

“What?” I said feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Your just so beautiful.” His hand slid in between my legs and he massaged the insides of my thighs. “Let’s go to the back.” I didn’t want to but then again my hormones were telling me another thing. He stood up and reached out for my hand and I hesitantly accepted it and we walked to the back of the room together.

BEY0NCE’S P0V
11:45 PM

My alarm went off on my cell phone and I woke up not wanting to get out of the bed. But I had to go pick them up. I got up and carried TiTi’s sleeping body to the car and placed her in her car seat and drove to Brian’s house. When I got there it was 5 minutes after 12 and I decided to call them. I first called Tasha’s phone but it went to voicemail and I was mad as hell… I swear I told her that if I got voicemail I was coming in that damn house. But I just called Kayla instead and she answered and said they were coming out in 1 minute. A couple of seconds later the two of them came walking to the car and got in.

“Tasha why the hell did I call your phone and get your voicemail?” I yelled at her as I pulled off.

“Momma…” She started but I cut her off.

“And don’t give me no bull shit excuse.”

“The music was loud and I couldn’t hear it.” She yelled back.

“Alright… remember I said I trusted you.” I said and stopped at the stoplight and looked at her.

BEY0NCE’S P0V
2 WEEKS LATER

This past week I have been getting morning sickness and everything that I ate would come right up into the toilet. I was afraid of what could have been the possibility but then again I was excited. Having another offspring wasn’t in my plans because two was just enough for me and was enough to handle. And three children would be a blessing but then it would have its consequences. So this morning I got up and drove myself to the local pharmacy and purchased a pregnancy test.

When I go home everybody was still sleeping and I went into the bathroom and handled my business. As I anxiously sat on the toilet with my head in my hands praying to God that he was on my side with this test, I heard Shawn get up and come into the bathroom. I could’ve easily locked the door but I figured I shouldn’t have to hide this from him.

“What the hell.” He said squinting his eyes and looking at me sitting down on the toilet seat with the top down. “Whatcha doin baby?” I lifted my head and looked at the pregnancy test on the counter. His eyes followed mines and he jumped back as if it were a snake, “Are you serious?”

“Yea I’m serious.”

“Damn… this is all a surprise. Did you want a baby?”

“I don’t know Shawn, I do want a baby. But then again I don’t.” He came and stood in front of me and pulled me up into his chest.

“No matter what the results come out as, I’m here okay.” I nodded my head and he rubbed my back as I lay in his arms. This was the exact opposite from when I found I was pregnant with Tierra. We were planning on getting a divorce but then I got pregnant and we decided to try and mend things together for the sake of our unborn child, and you see how that turned out. But now it was different I knew he was going to be there no matter what, breaking up was far from either one of our minds. “You wanna look?” I slowly got out of his grip and picked up the test making sure I read it over and over, making sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks with me.

“I’m pregnant.” I said and without notice a smile crept across my face, I guess deep down this was what I wanted. God wouldn’t have given me a baby if he knew it wasn’t mean to be.

“Haha this is one of the best days of my life!” He said picking me up and swirling me around in his arms. I buried my head in his neck and smiled to myself, I’m having another Carter. I hope the world is ready!!

“Momma, daddy what is wrong with yall?” Tasha said coming into the bathroom looking at us as if we belonged in the mental home.

“Ya mom is pregnant!”

“Again?” She said with a disappointed look and I curled up my bottom lip sadly, “Naw I’m just playing. I’m happy!! Another mogul of Beyonce and Shawn Carter… oh my Jesus, I hope the world is ready for all these doggone Carter’s.” We all shared a small laugh. “Dad do you think you can take me to the store I need to pick up some women things.”

“And you ask me instead of your mom to come and pick up some women things?”

“She’s pregnant.” She said smiling and he looked at me and I stuck out my tongue, “Looks like your nominated, unless you want to give me the keys.”

“Naw I’d rather just throw my car in the damn ocean if before I do that, come on here lil girl.” He put me down and planted a deep kiss on me and I left the bathroom and went to lie down. “Baby you need anything?”

“Umm no I’m okay for right now. I’m just really tired.” He came out of the bathroom dressed and gave me a kiss on the lips.

“Alright I’ll be right back.” I nodded my head yes and him and Tasha left. I lay in the bed thinking about a lot of things. How wonderful it’s going to be to have another baby in this world, especially by the man of my dreams.
**
I heard Tasha and Shawn come back and I went into the kitchen to pour me some ginger ale and eat some crackers.

“Did dad give you a hard time?” I asked Tasha as I walked past her and accidentally bumped into her causing her bag to fall to the ground and her women things to fall out. “I’m sorry.” I said bending down to pick them up but what I went down to pick up wasn’t what I expected to be picking up. I was expect some tampons or maybe cramping pills… instead I picked up a pregnancy test. “Tasha.” I said picking it up and looking at her.

“Mom…”

I shook my head and tears started streaming down my cheeks, “I… I…can’t believe you."

Sat May 15, 2021 7:32 pm

CHAPTER 14
BEY0NCE’S P0V
**C0NV0 C0NTINUED**

When I picked up the test off of the ground so many things were rushing through my mind… betrayal, trust and most importantly my past. I couldn’t breathe nor could I stand, I just received the best news ever that Shawn and I were going to be having another baby and just like that the joy was taken away from me. I wanted to tell her that I hated her even though it wasn’t true, but she was still my daughter and I loved her to death. I knew she felt scared and almost alone because that was exactly how I felt when I found out I was pregnant at the young age of 18.

“I trusted you Tasha.” I said backing up as tears fell from my eyes as if it were a good thing.

“Mom.” She cried out. I wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay, and that I love her no matter what. Of course I love her no matter what, but everything wasn’t going to be okay… it just was no way in hell everything was going to be okay. “I’m sorry.”

“Tasha. Oh my God this is one big dream, can you just go take the test?” She nodded her head with teary red eyes and grabbed the bag and headed to her room. I wanted to go with her but I don’t think I could handle the results if they came out not in our favor. I walked into our bedroom and Shawn stood up and greeted me with a giant hug and red roses.

“I love you Beyonce.” He said sweetly and I happily accepted the flowers.

“I love you too Shawn. Thank you.” I gave him soft kiss on the lips and sat the flowers down on my nightstand. I knew he could sense something was wrong because he looked at me as if he were trying to read my face. But I was trying my best to not let any tears fall for the sake of Tasha, I wanted her to tell her dad the mistake she made. “I’m going to lay down, I’m a little sleepy.” I slid comfortably under the covers and Shawn got right in on the other side. “Shawn…”

“Yea?” I turned my body so it was facing him and he looked down into my red eyes. “Baby what’s wrong?”

I shook my head, “Can you hold me?” Without question he wrapped me up into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. I wanted to run into her room and find out the results but something in my gut was telling me she was pregnant. She’s still my baby, how can my baby be pregnant with a baby of her own… she’s only 15 and God knows she’s not ready for a child. Let alone all of the things she will encounter while being pregnant. Tons of negativity and the media…. All I can say is front page here we come. “Baby thank you for the roses.”

“You’re so very welcome… thank you for giving me another baby.” I looked up at him and he was cheesing hard, and I knew he was happy as hell about this baby. “Another Carter for me to spoil.” He said rubbing my belly and kissing my lips.

“Yea another one.” I said only hoping it was another one and not two coming. Me, a grandma? Oh my Jesus, at least not the young age of 33… I was hoping somewhere around my mid 40’s or early 50’s. Just then Tasha came into the room with puffy red eyes looking as if she had been crying for years nonstop.

Shawn and I both looked at her, him wondering what was wrong and why she was crying. And me wondering what the results were from this test. “Mom and dad can I talk to yall in the living room? Please.” She cried out and just from that cry I knew what the results were, I said the same thing to my parents when I found out I was pregnant with her.

“Yea baby girl here we come.” She left the room and he looked at me worriedly, I don’t blame him though. That was his baby girl, his first-born child… he had a right to be worried. “Come on.” He said helping me out of bed and hugging me from behind as we walked to the living room. We both sat down and I grabbed a hold of his hands to make sure he was going to stay calm for the news we were about to receive. “What’s going on?”

“Daddy I have to tell you and momma something.” Shawn and I looked at each other and then back at Tasha giving her the nod to go on, “A couple of weeks mom when you took me and Kayla to Brian’s house… this guy named Shaquel was there.” She took a deep breath and finished on, “Mom and dad…we had sex.”

“Da !!” Shawn said standing up instantly getting upset, but little did he know this was only half of the news, “What the hell is wrong witchu Tasha? I aint raise no lil hoe… that lil nigga gone get it!!”

“Shawn.” I yelled and he looked at me angry, “Let her finish damn.” I said and forcefully pulling him down on the couch next to me. His chest was caving in and out and I knew there was nothing I could do beyond this point.

“I’m pregnant.”

The words actually coming from my daughter, my 15-year-old daughter stung. It hurt so badly. When you have children you want to think that they would never repeat the past you had, and you want them to have a better life, basically give them everything you never had. But to hear, “I’m pregnant,” coming from your child was possibly the worst feeling in the world.

“Hell naw!” Shawn screamed as angry tears fell from his face. “Jesus no!” He buried his head in his hands and angrily stood up and threw the first thing next to him at the wall, which happened to be an African vase that I bought for him when we were still married.

TiTi came running in the room crying and ran straight to my lap. I held her in my arms and rocked her while she silently cried in my chest. I knew she was scared because she was blind as to what was now going on; all she heard was her daddy throwing things and being angry. “Shh baby it’s okay.” I whispered in her ear and ran my fingers through her wild and curly brown hair.

“Bee how you let this shit happen?” He yelled at me and I quickly put TiTi down on the couch and she cried even harder. I stood up and got in his face.

“You gotta be f.uckin kidding me? What you mean how did I let this shit happen? Ask ya daughter why she let some trifling nigga get between her damn legs!!” I shouted at him, how dare he blame me for letting something like this happen. “You got ya damn nerve!”

“Oh Beyonce please man don’t come at me with dat shit, you let her do whatever the hell she wants to. Who lets a 15-year-old go to some niggas house that you don’t even know? You already know I wouldn’t have let that shit happen if I was here.” He threw in my face as Tasha just sat there silently crying to herself looking at the big catastrophe her mistake stirred up.

“F.uck you Shawn!”

“Oh so that’s how you feel now? F.uck Shawn?” He scolded at me and I stared deep into his angry eyes and he stared back into my now angry filled eyes. It was silent for a good minute and he finally spoke up, “F.uck Shawn huh? Dats wassup.” He turned his back to me and walked towards the door and grabbed his car keys off the counter top.

“Shawn if you leave… don’t come back.”

“Peace.” He stated coldly and I stood frozen looking at the door where the man of dreams just walked out.

“Mom I’m so sorry.” Tasha spoke finally speaking up, I wiped away a fallen tear and picked up a crying TiTi and we headed to my bedroom, and I closed the door behind me.

I lay on the bed with Tierra finally asleep on my chest. I was mad, hurt, confused and all different type of emotions all at once. I didn’t know whether to cry or get angry just like Shawn did. I know he didn’t mean it when he left, he just needed some time to think about everything, how one minute you find out your girlfriend/ ex wife is pregnant with your baby and the next you find out your daughter is pregnant also. I think he’s more worried about Tasha’s image and how badly she’s going to be put out in the media’s eye more than anything.

I wasn’t worried about the media, for all I care they can kiss my black ass. I was worried that she was going to break down just like I did, I felt like I couldn’t handle it. Having a baby is something serious and it cannot be taken lightly. Being so young, you haven’t even lived your life yet; you’re still a baby at the age of 15… I was still a baby at the age of 18, but you learn to grow up so fast because you no choice but to. Your childhood is taken away from you because you now have a responsibility on this earth.

“Mommy.” TiTi said waking up and waking me out of my state of trance.

“Hey sweety.” I said forcing a fake smile, “You hungry?” She nodded her head yes, “Okay go brush your teeth and I’ll take you out to get something.” She hurriedly got off of my bed and ran to her room. I got up and decided that I needed to get out of the house anyways so I got showered and dressed.

“Mommy can I wear this?” Tierra said coming into my room with one of her baby phat outfits, and I nodded my head yes, and she ran off excited.

I walked to Tasha’s bedroom and silently opened the door. She lay there on her bed hugging a pillow and crying her heart out, “I’m taking TiTi out you wanna come?” I stated dryly. She shook her head and that was all I needed was an answer, I closed her door shut and went and got my car keys, “Come on here lil girl.” I yelled while looking through my mail. She came out running towards me.

“Can we go to Johnny Rockets?” She said acting all hype and jumping up and down.

“Yea come on.” I grabbed my cell phone and we walked to the car together. “Buckle up.” I said looking at myself through my mirror, my eyes were so red and puffy from all the crying I was doing. Just shows that make up can’t hide pain. I took off and headed to TiTi’s favorite restaurant, I didn’t want her in the middle of any of this. She was only 3 years old and she wouldn’t understand any of this.

When we arrived I ordered her, her food and I got some chili fries and we sat down at a table. “Be careful baby.” I said pushing her food closer to her so she wouldn’t get it all over her outfit. She had honey mustard all over her face it was just too cute, “You’re such a messy eater.”

She stuck her tongue out at me and I did it back, “Want some?” She said sticking out her chicken finger dipped in honey mustard, it sounds good… but it sure as hell didn’t look good at all.

“Umm no babe. I’ll just eat my chili fries.” She scrunched up her face just like her daddy always did and I laughed. “TiTi can I ask you a question?”

“Go head.” She said not really paying attention to me because she was rather in to her food.

“How would you feel if mommy had another baby?” She quickly looked up and her mouth was open in surprise. “Haha, you like that?”

“Me gone be a big sister!” She said dancing around in her chair and I laughed and told her to quiet down. I didn’t want this in the media’s ear just yet. “Shh.” She said with her finger up to her lips and I laughed.

“Yea Shh. Don’t tell okay.” I whispered to her.

“Okay.” She whispered back to me. I didn’t think it was time for her to know about Tasha being pregnant yet, I mean she barely knew about pregnancy alone. How would she understand her big sister and mother being pregnant at the same time?

“Come baby girl let’s go to Nana’s house for a lil bit.” I picked her up and we walked out the restaurant as paparazzi got their pics in for the day, I wonder what crazy made up caption was going to go under this picture. But anyways I drove over to my mom’s house and thank God she was there.

“What brings you two over on this neck of the woods?” She said greeting us both with a kiss.

“Umm just came over here to talk to you.” I knew she knew something was up, my momma always did. She could read right through my lies all the time.

“TiTi baby why don’t you go mess with Poppop he’s in his office.” She ran like a crazed child into his office and my mom and me went into her study to talk. “Now what’s wrong baby?” I looked down at my hands and tears immediately formed into my dry eyes. I couldn’t hold it in any longer; it was like holding in your bladder for a whole week and then finally letting it out. “Oh my Bee.” She pulled me closer and hugged me tight and I didn’t want her to let go neither. I cried onto her shoulder as if I was laying all of my burdens down at the altar.

I wiped my eyes and looked at her, “Mom I’m pregnant.” I said straight forward.

“Why are you crying baby? That’s a good think, isn’t it?” She said happily, I knew she would be excited she’s becoming a grandmother of 4. But she didn’t know she was also becoming a great grandmother.

“And so is Tasha.”

“Oh Jesus.” She said holding on to her chest as if she was having a heart attack, “Lord help us!”

“Momma I don’t know what to do.” I said letting the waterworks take control.

“Oooh mama’s baby.” She said wiping away a couple of her own tears and grabbing a hold of my hand, “Just pray, that’s all you can do. Just pray and ask God to guide you through this… and he’ll come through I promise.” She gave me a hug and wiped away my remaining tears. “How did Shawn take it?”

“I don’t want to talk about him right now, I hate him.”

“No you don’t, don’t say that. This is all going to be mended together, just give him a little time. I’m sure he probably said and did some things that weren’t the usual him, but he’s scared Bee. He’s going to realize how happy he is with his family… all of you.” It was amazing how my mom could know what was wrong without me even telling her, this whole time I didn’t mention what happened between Shawn and I but she knew and I loved her for that.

“I love you momma.”

“I love you too baby.” I laid my head on her shoulder and she held me like she always used to do, before I got ‘grown’ at the mere age of 16, so I thought. We sat in silence for a while until we heard TiTi screaming and she came running into the room.

“Lil girl why are you screaming so loud?” I said confused.

“Poppop trying to scare me!” Just then my dad came in the room holding a baby snake in his hand. “Ahhh mommy!” She screamed and hopped in my lap.

“Daddy what the hell is wrong with you?” I said scared my damn self and holding on to TiTi.

“It’s just a baby snake wouldn’t hurt a fly, quit being so scary TiTi. Just a minute ago you was in my office making fun of my gray hair and picking at me, now you wanna come running to ya mom!”

“Mathew, take that snake out of my house now.” He walked out the room mimicking her and she shook her head. “It’s okay TiTi your grandpa is just crazy.” She still held on to me for dear life and I don’t blame her I was scared my damn self.

“I want daddy.” She whined and I looked at my mom and we both shook our heads, this girl was for sure a daddy’s girl.

“Alright come on let’s go home. Mom I’ll call you tonight and let you know how everything goes.” I said giving her a kiss and she got up and walked us to the door.

“Alright. Bye TiTi.” She gave her a kiss and we walked outside and saw my dad leaning over staring at the creature on the ground. “Mathew get that thang far away from my house!” My mom yelled at him.

“Tina it aint nobody right here.” I went over to him and gave him a kiss, “Bye sweety. Bye TiTi.” She scrunched up her face and poked out her bottom lip angrily and we laughed, “Poppop sorry.” He gave her a kiss.

“Daddy I don’t understand you. You are so damn boogi but yet you still mess with snakes.” I chuckled to myself and put TiTi in the car.

“I’m just screwed up.” I laughed at him and got in my car and pulled off headed home. When I got back I noticed Shawn was back and I sighed heavily and pulled down my shades.

“Come on TiTi.” She got out and I locked the car turning on my alarm. When we got into the house Shawn was sitting at the bar stool talking loudly on the phone, it sounded like business. TiTi ran up to him and hugged his waist and he hugged her back. I sat my keys on the coffee table and went to the back to our bedroom. I had no intentions on apologizing for something that I didn’t do, and knowing him it would take possibly a week or so to actually come up to me and apologize without all the bogus gifts and flowers.

“Real Estate agent called and said we could come and look at a house if we want to right now.” He said coming into the room texting on his blackberry not even looking at me. When he noticed he didn’t hear a response from me he looked up and I nodded my head yes and stood up walking out the room. “Wit ya stank ass attitude.” He said under his breath but I heard him.

“What was that?”

“Nothin Bee.” He said and went into Tasha’s room and told her to come along. Once we were all in the car it was complete silence, well kind of silent. TiTi being the only one in the family shaded from the fiasco she was full of energy.

“Mommy sing with me!” She said singing along to Rihanna’s song Umbrella.

“Not right now baby girl.” I said continuing to look out the window. The car came to a complete stop in front of a mansion that was nicely built, the yard was very well put together and it had big gates with the initials S&B on them. I looked at Shawn confused as to why a gate would have our initials if we haven’t bought the house yet, but I didn’t say anything I just acted as if I didn’t realize it.

We all got out the car and walked to the front door, Shawn opened it with a key and by this point I was beyond confused. When we walked in it was the most amazing house I’ve ever seen in my life. Beautiful high ceilings with dangling chandeliers hanging low, the floor were marble. I looked around in awe it was just that beautiful.

“Daddy can we live here?” TiTi said looking around as if we were in the middle of a candy shop.

“We already do.” He said and pointed out to the dining room next to us and there it read, “The Carters,” and it had a picture of us all from TiTi’s birthday party hanging on the wall. “We already do baby girl.” He picked her up and we all stood there in silence.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:33 pm

CHAPTER 15:
S0LANGE’S P0V
THAT SAME NIGHT
8: 45 PM
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Lately Marques and I have been speaking on- a well I guess you can say friendly flirting status. He’s perfect, well nobody’s perfect but you see my drift. He owns his own successful real estate agency, so that means I am not stuck paying no bills that do no belong to me nor am I stuck with paying for dinner. His career is already set so I am not waiting and pushed on the back burner so some stupid ass idiot with a big head can go out and follow his dreams of trying to make it to the NFL… okay sorry, I am not trying to dwell on the past. But any who he’s not the type of man to try and diss because the lady has a child of her own, he has met Julez and Julez adores him. You could tell he really does need a male figure around, I mean of course there’s Shawn, TyTy, Bleek and my daddy but still a consistent male around. From the few dates we have been on you could really tell he knows how to cater to a woman, the small things makes ladies happy… opening the car door, opening doors and actually holding them open for us to walk in and not letting it close right in our damn faces, not saying that has happened to me or nothing I’m just saying. Pulling out the chair and small compliments here and there can make a woman feel like the most beautiful creature on this earth, well not feel exactly like a creature but you see my drift.

“Stop it mommy!” Julez said pushing my face away from his as I lay kisses all over his face. We were both in my room lying down in the bed watching none other than High School Musical 2.

“Julez what you fail to realize son is that you are exactly that my son, and that’s why I call you son because you are my offspring also known as my son.” I said stressing the word son. He looked at me like what the hell is you talking about? “What I’m trying to say Julez is that I can kiss on you if please dammit.”

“Shh.” I took that as a cue to maybe shut up talking to him because he wasn’t giving a damn no way. “Watch movie wit me.” He climbed into my lap facing the flat screen television on the wall.

“Oh you can sit in my lap but I can’t even kiss you?” He shut me up quickly but putting his finger up to his mouth. “You sure are a bossy lil nigga.” I shut up and we watched the movie together until my house phone started to ring, I knew it couldn’t have been Bee because that raggedy heffa aint call me all day, and knowing her she probably getting a pipe smashed against her damn gut. I leaned over and looked at caller i.d. and it was my mom and dad. “Dis the queen of this motha Fucka wassup?” I said and started laughing once I heard my mom gasp from my greeting.

“Solange!” She said sternly and I laughed even harder, I heard her telling my dad what I said in the background except she blocked out the curse words. ‘Tell Solange she going to hell with gasoline covering her body.’ I heard him yell through laughter. “Solange that was very explicit.”

“Oh mama quit with the all holy act.” I said and started messing with my freshly did manicure, “We all know.”

“This is no act and you know that.”

“Yea, yea. What’s up?”

“Have you talked to your sister today?” She said as if I knew exactly whom she was talking about… I call about 10 hoes my sister, she was gonna need to be specific about this ish.

“Which one mama?”

“Beyonce.”

“Umm no I haven’t, I haven’t talked to her for like a week seems like Mr. Shawn got her all tied up she can’t even reach over to pick up a damn phone. But why is she supposed to be calling me or something?”

“I’m sure she was going to tell you but earlier she and TiTi stopped by, and Beyonce had some great news.”

“What she found her real family?” I said sarcastically.

“You are so evil. No. She’s pregnant.” I almost choked on my spit and started coughing for about 2 minutes. Julez lil bad ass didn’t once look at me to see if I was alright stuck up in that damn movie. “Solange are you okay?”

“Yea I’m good mama. You said that old raggedy ass is pregnant? With what?”

“A baby retarded.” She laughed. “And my daughter is not old for your information she is only 33 years old, that is still young thank you very much.”

“Hell naw that means I’m going to be an auntie once again, that’s more birthday presents and Christmas gifts that I have to buy mama. Tell her we don’t want the baby…return to sender… we do not want that baby.”

We both laughed, “Solange you are so slow.”

“Yea I know that’s what everybody says, but I’m going to call this monkey… better yet I’m going to go to her house. I’ll call you later mama love you.”

“Love you too sweets, tell Julez I said hey and I love him.”

“Uh huh I’ll make sure I do that just for you mom… bye.” I hung up and grabbed his face and planted a big juicy kiss on his cheek.

“Mommy.” He whined and wiped off my kiss.

“It was from your grandma big head. You wanna go with me to Auntie BB house?” He shook his head no but I knew damn well he wanted to go, “Go put your shoes on hurry up.”

**

I pulled up to their home and Julez and I walked to the front door. Now usually when you just receive news that you are pregnant your spirits are lifted high and you feel as if you are the luckiest person on this earth. Well for some people, for me I was a little shocked but nonetheless was I happy. Beyonce came to the door looking as if she had just woken up.

“What the hell is wrong witchu?” I said greeting her with a hug and kiss.

She gave me the we’ll talk look and I nodded my head, “Hey Julez, how’s my baby boy doing?” She picked him up and gave him a kiss, “TiTi is in her room.” She put him down and he went running towards her room.

“Now me and you need to talk Ms. Pregnant.” I said pulling her by the wrist and we sat down on the couch both in Indian style facing each other.

“Mama told you?”

“Yea girl you know mama can’t hold water.” We both giggled and I noticed a slight change in her attitude. “Beyonce what’s wrong?”

“What you mean?” She said forcing a fake smile, but this b.itch know I’ve been around her way too much and I know a real smile from a fake phony smile.

“Beyonce don’t make me punch you dead in ya mouth… now tell me what’s wrong big sis?” I could see her eyes welling up with tears and I scooted closer to her and pulled her into a hug and she laid her head on my shoulder. “Bee what’s wrong hun?” I said rubbing my hand up and down her back.

“Tasha’s pregnant.” She said and looked up at me in the eyes, “She’s pregnant Solo.” She buried her head in her hands and I didn’t even know what to do. I wanted so bad to run in Tasha’s room and beat her ass myself because I know Beyonce didn’t already, but then here is my sister crying because that’s her daughter, her 15-year-old daughter at that. “I don’t know what to do sis.” She stated through tears and I pulled her closer to me and cried with her.

“I know exactly what you’re gonna do.” She looked up at me and I wiped away her tears as mines continued to fall. “You’re not going to leave her by herself in this, stay by her side. Be angry, be sad, upset whatever. But do not make her feel alone in this… you hear me?” She nodded her head and started sniffing. “Where’s Shawn?”

“I don’t know. He was with us earlier when he showed us our new home then he came home and left… I hate him so much.”

“Yall got a new house?” She nodded her head yes, “Then I know damn well you don’t hate him, right now is just a tough time for the both of you. It’s just like buying a pair of shoes, then the same day you see some hoe in the mall with the same pair of shoes on and then she wearing them wrong…. Got a tacky ass outfit on and her hair look like a damn cob web…”

“Solange… Solange. Babe what does this have to do with anything?”

“Oh I’m sorry Bee, I seem to get off track a bit. But let me call this Negro before I end up busting a damn cap up his old ass.” I pulled out my cell phone and went to Shawn’s name and pressed call putting my phone on speaker so Beyonce could hear also.

“Hello?”

“Shawn where you at?” I said adding more attitude then what was probably needed at the moment, but what can I saw I’m a damn dram queen.

“Out, why? What you need?” I think he was at the studio because you could hear about 5 niggas in the background talking loudly and music playing.

“Nigga don’t question my authority… bring ya black ass home. If you aint here in 10 minutes I swear to God I’m gone beat yo ass.” I threatened and hung up the phone.

“Are you on drugs?” Bee asked with all seriousness.

“No, but I probably need to be shit.” I leaned back on the couch, “Ya boo is down to 9 minutes… he betta come, cause my friend pistola is waiting to be used.”

“Pistola?”

“C’mon babe, I know you aint been to the hood but damn. A pistol Bee, a damn Pistol… whew Jesus. Remind me to neva bring ya suburban ass with me to no Compton you would have my ass killed.”

“Shut up.” She playfully hit me and smiled. I was happy I was able to lighten up the mood a bit, because all this crying and shit was making my gangsta side fade away.

**9 Minutes later**

Just on time in walked Shawn, Bleek and TyTy… I guess he thought bringing the two of them would lessen the chances of me going off in dat ass… WRONG.

“Wassup Bee… hey Solo.” Bleek said hugging Beyonce then me. TyTy ol punk ass said hey to Bee but didn’t say anything to me; he knew he was on my bad side because he tried to get hype on me the other day.

“TyTy aint nobody stuntin yo punk ass no way.” I said and rolled my eyes at his phony ass attitude.

“Solange aint nobody worried bout you, take that shit somewhere else.”

“You lame as f.uck nigga… no wonder Kelly aint go witcha ass yet, you would definitely be a downgrade from her last nigga.”

“Hmm yo ass wasn’t saying that when you rode the shit outta me!” My mouth dropped open, the nerve this crusty nigga has to bring up the past… “Bet didn’t anybody know that right?” Everybody was looking at me with widened eyes.

“Solange?” Bee questioned me.

“We f.ucked way last year… and it was only because my midnight dick aint come through. Ty don’t make it seem like we was f.ucking for love… it was complete lust boo. But I didn’t call Shawn for yall asses to come here and get me all hype… Shawn what the hell is up?”

“What you talking about?” He said taking a beer out of the fridge and acting like nothing was wrong with his damn family at all.

BEY0NCE’S P0V
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“Don’t try and act like you don’t know nigga…” She stopped and readjusted herself on the couch, “Look I’m not going to get loud because my nieces are here and so is my son, and I’d be damned if they saw me beating the shit outta you… so let’s be grown up about the situation.”

“I’ll tell you wassup. Ya sister here let our daughter go to some nigga house, she f.ucked some dude and now her ass is pregnant along with her momma.” I stood up to get in his face.

“Shawn how dare you keep throwing that shit in my face!! Okay you made your point, I’m a terrible mother for trusting my daughter enough to respect her body…I’m sorry she took advantage of my trust.”

“Beyonce trust? You really didn’t think taking her to some nigga house, ‘Oh gosh maybe there may be some other boys there?’ You mean to tell me you wasn’t thinking that at all?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t thinking that. I’m trying to tell you that I trusted her, we talked before and I trusted her enough that when she was ready to have sex she would come to me first, then we would handle it from there. So you are really blowing up at the wrong f.ucking person.”

“Who you want me to blame? Tasha?”

“No Shawn, don’t blame anyone okay… there’s no point in blaming anybody. What is done is done, what you gone kill the nigga that got her pregnant?” He stared at me coldly and began to walk away but I grabbed his arm. “When are you going to stop walking away from your problems and take em head first?”

“Bee this shit is way bigger than a problem!”

“You’re right it is baby. So why walk away… are you more worried about your family or what the media thinks about your family?”

“Both. I don’t want my f.uckin daughter name in they mouth.” I agreed with him. I could just imagine all of the hate and negativity now coming from the media about our family… but right now, right at this second I couldn’t think nor care about what other people had to say. My family was starting to break apart, and I’d be damned if that happened to me twice in one lifetime.

“And you think I’m not worried about that either Shawn? But I know one thing, this little argument we are having isn’t helping anything.” We stared deeply into each other’s eyes and he pulled me into a hug, “I love you baby.”

He kissed me deeply on the lips and looked into my eyes, “I love you too… I’m sorry baby.” I nodded my head and laid my head on his shoulder.

“Aint this too sweet.” Solange said as they all sat on the couch looking at us as if our conversation was a movie. “TyTy before you open you damn mouth shut the hell up.” She said closing her hand in his face. “Well looks like my work is done here, let me go get my son.”

“Yea my nigga we gone head out, peace out. Bye Bee.” Bleek said giving me a hug and kiss.

“Bye Bee.” TyTy said doing the same and giving Shawn dap.

“Bye guys.” Once they left Solange left with them holding a sleeping Julez in her arms.

“Let’s go get some sleep baby.” He said to me and I didn’t oblige because I was beyond tired, even though we settled our lil argument there were still a million more battles to be conquered. “I’m going to go and take a shower.” He kissed my lips and headed to the bathroom.

I sat on the bed Indian style with my mind wondering about everything happening. You know how you think apologizing is putting closure to something, but deep down inside you feel like an apology isn’t good enough? You can still feel as if everything is not right, but you try and put what was said and done behind you… but there’s always this little voice in your head reminding you about the bad.

“Beyonce you up?” Shawn asked while getting in the bed and wrapping me up in his arms. Don’t get me wrong I loved him so much, but sometimes I just wish I could change the way he thinks.

“Yea.” I said answering plain and simple. I’m sure he thinks that I was going to be all excited now because we are no longer arguing, but I’m not… the saying sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you, well let’s just it’s WRONG. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I’m going to sleep.”

“Beyonce what the f.uck is wrong witchu? I said sorry.” I laughed to myself while shaking my head.

“And I heard you say sorry, but Shawn you saying sorry doesn’t take back what you said. You blaming this whole situation on me hurt my feelings so badly…and you just don’t know how it feels to be attacked about your motherhood, I’ve tried my hardest and did all I could do to protect my children from going down this route… it was up to Tasha to take what I taught her and go with it and we obviously see the outcome. But I refuse to keep taking the blame for any of this.” I was on the verge of tears but I held them in, I was tired of crying over something that was beyond my power.

He opened up his mouth but nothing came out, it was like he was trying to find the right words, “I’m sorry baby… I guess I got so caught up with knowing that my daughter is pregnant and I went off and blamed you for everything, but not yet have I said a word to Tasha. I don’t know what else to say to you but I’m sorry, you know the last thing I would want to do on this earth is hurt you and my girls… I love you, all of you.” His face inched closer to mines and our lips came into contact for the first time since this morning. It felt so good, I’m so used to kissing this man all day… and when I haven’t especially since I was mad at him made everything seem a little bit better than what it actually was.

“Hmm baby.” I said pulling away as I felt the kiss was about to go to a whole nother level, “Remember that’s why I’m pregnant now.” We both shared a small laugh and he rubbed my belly.

“I know right. That’s how we got all these lil munchkins.” He pulled me closer to his body and kissed my forehead. I felt his eyes staring down at me and I looked up at him, and found him staring at me like I was some sort of painting on the wall.

“Why you looking at me like that… weird ass.” I joked and scrunched up my face because his facial expression didn’t change. “Babe.”

“Huh?”

“Why are you looking at me like that for?”

“Because you’re beautiful… and because you belong to me. You my bae… but you know I don’t understand you. I put you through shit almost ya whole life and still you forgive me, you can look past my flaws and forgive me for my mistakes and you never dwell on the past… I love you girl.”

“Aww. Baby I love you too.” I kissed him gently on the lips, “Remember our first date? You were so scared to even look at me, look at you now babe… speaking from the heart. You go boy!”

“Why you tryna play me? You was the one that wouldn’t even let me hold ya hands… acting like you was a damn celebrity with ya nose stuck in the air.” We started to argue about who was scared and who wasn’t on our first date and TiTi came walking into our room rubbing her eyes.

“Hey babygirl.” She climbed into the bed and got in the middle. “You couldn’t sleep?”

“I had bad dream.” I pulled her on top of my body and she laid her head flat on my chest and I massaged her back and kissed her head.

“It’s okay baby…mommy got you, go back to sleep.”

“I know you not gone let her sleep in here.” Shawn complained “She sleep too damn wild to be next to me.”

“If it aint the pot calling the kettle black, last time I remember you gave me a damn bruise on my leg in your sleep with your big ass feet.” I started laughing because he knew damn well it was the truth.

“You is really trying to clown.” I blew him a kiss and continued laughing and he had no choice but to join in.

TASHA’S P0V
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Having my parent’s together was the best thing to ever happen in my life, it was the one thing that I wanted more than anything. And having them argue and fight over something stupid that I did wasn’t part of the plan. I’ve been in my room all day crying and thinking about a lot of things… and I’ve noticed that I am the problem. I was the problem when my mom got pregnant with me and from that point on tribulations between the two of them started. And now here I am again causing another problem, but not just for my parents…but also for myself and my other family members… my family’s reputation was at stake. My parent’s reputation was at stake all because of me… I could just see the headlines in the papers bashing my parents for something they had no control over. With that said… I am the problem. Usually with problems you eliminate them by all means, whether it means hurting yourself and others around you… you are still eliminated. And that’s what I have to do in order to save my parents the hurt and heartache… I had to eliminate myself by all means.

**The Next Morning**

Mom and dad, if you are reading this letter then I am no longer your “problem.” Thanks so much for everything, having two parents like you have made me the happiest teenager to live this earth. Mom I know we have had our downs in the past, and our relationship has grown from then… and I want you to know that you are the best. You are an icon for thousands of women and young teenagers; you’ve inspired me to want to be my best. But it seems I’ve failed, and I’m sorry. Daddy, you have become one of my best friend’s and I hope that you will forgive me for my decision to no longer be your “problem,” it was just a decision that I had to make for myself. You and I both know that I wasn’t ready to have a baby, and abortion was not an option…so why not kill two birds with one stone, and just eliminate the “problems.” TiTi you probably don’t know too much about death but when you get older you will, and I want you to carry on with your life… don’t dwell on the past and think of the if’s in life, they won’t get you anywhere in life. Stay beautiful and listen to mommy okay, she will never steer you wrong. Tell the new baby I said hey, tell him or her about how much fun you and I used to have when I was still there and we used to stay up and watch your favorite movies and eat popcorn together. Nana and Papa, I love you both so much. Words can’t explain the love I have for you…just know that I love you and my decision has nothing to do with anybody else’s. All of my aunties, Solange, Kelly, Michelle, Mickey, Annie, and everybody else I love you all. My favorite cousins, Kayla and Julez keep ya head up. Kayla stay rocking the new baby, and Julez keep getting on my mom’s nerves trust me she loves it. My uncles, Eric, TyTy and Bleek…and everyone else keep protecting the women in the family like always…love you all. My best friends, Sasha, Alexis and Kaije stay real to one another and don’t turn ya back…don’t let no hatin females break yall up. Love yall!! And to my unborn baby, my decision was not made to kill you… it was based on my mistakes. You were not a mistake but you were the result of one, and I know that you cannot read this but know that I do love you, and I will always be your mommy.
~Now that I’m gone just carry on don’t mourn, rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I’m looking down you smiling…and I didn’t feel a thang. So my family don’t feel the pain just smile back~

Tasha Carter

I signed the letter off and left it on my made up bed. It was still early in the morning, around 8:00 and my mom usually doesn’t get up till 9 so it was perfect timing. I didn’t think about how I was going to kill myself… I just wanted to do it quick and fast. Like I said in the letter I didn’t feel a thang, so I want to die without any pain. I got my bottle of antibiotics from when I had an ear infection and I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Discreetly I went into the bathroom locking the door.

In the mirror I see a reflection of a mistake. A burden to those around me… a ‘problem.’ I was no longer beautiful nor was I pretty… I was ‘Ugly Girl.’ Ugly Girl was trapped inside hiding behind a beautiful face and body. But when you no longer see that beautiful face nor body it’s “Ugly Girl’s” time to shine. She wasn’t spose to live for long though, give her a few minutes of fame and then she’s out.

My mind began to ponder about my lifeline while I sat in the bathroom procrastinating on the time Ugly Girl’s fame was over. Ugly tears began to fall from my eyes and my mind began to second-guess my plan and began to wonder if I was making the right decision or not. Second-guessing was normal during these types of situations, whenever you second-guess yourself you end up backing out of it. And Ugly Girl was no coward, she said she was going to do something and she was going to do just that. But it’s crazy how Ugly Girl can stand by her word, but Tasha can’t… she said she was going to respect her body and made a promise with her mom the person she respects more than anybody. Maybe because Ugly Girl knew her purpose on this earth and Tasha didn’t. And that purpose has been settled, and this is the outcome… I’m pregnant.

I looked at my cell phone I had just about 10 minutes before I could be expecting my mom waking up to make coffee for her daily routine. The adrenaline in my body started to pump through my veins, and my heart started beating fast like I had just ran a race. Sweat rolled down the side of my face and my palms became clammy and full of water. My knees got weak and my legs began to tremble… Ugly Girl’s fame time was up and it was time for her to go. With my shaky hands I popped open the pill bottle and emptied it into my hand staring at the amount in my hands… had to be about 15. The knife was nearby, but I was only going to use that “just incase.” I gripped the cup of water that was half way full, just enough for me to get the pills down my throat… the hand with the pills moved inched closer to my face but then I paused staring down at the clock and remembering my mother’s body alarm… I had 2 minutes to go through with this. Ugly Girl was no coward.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:33 pm

CHAPTER 16
BEY0NCE’S P0V
8:58 AM.
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I woke up this morning like I did almost every morning if I wasn’t working… wake up at 9, make coffee by 9:15 and either work on my laptop or just relax. My body alarm woke up a little earlier than usual; it was a good 5 minutes before 9 so I wasn’t surprised when I saw TiTi and Shawn knocked out in the bed still. I swear they are like twins, sleep through anything and everything, I kissed the both of them and headed to the bathroom. While I was washing my face with my washcloth I looked in the mirror and stared at my reflection. I realized that life in general is way too short to be angry with the ones that are closest to your heart. Me not talking to Tasha wasn’t the way to handle this situation, I had two choices to both forgive her and except the mistake that she made and deal with it, or I could simply take her to abortion clinic and be upset with her for the rest of my life. With those two decisions flowing through my mind… I knew exactly what I had to do.

Walking to her room I was imagining her little baby calling me Grandma, I smiled to myself and made a self note that I was going to need to find another name other than Grandma. I was way too young to be called that.

"Tasha?" I said in a low voice as I cracked open her door and saw an empty bed that was made up with a neatly folded letter lying on the pillow she slept on. What did she do run away? I thought to myself and walked slowly to the bed to retrieve the note. As I was reading my tears took it upon themselves to automatically fall and one by one stain the suicidal letter that I held in my hands. I felt my knees buckling and my breaths getting shorter, my head started to spin and I felt as if I was about to pass out. It was all too surreal for me; I came to make mends with my eldest daughter… not read her suicidal letter.

Just as I was about to get on my knees to pray and ask God if there was any way he could bring my daughter to me, when God told me himself to go run to the bathroom. I sprinted to the bathroom and just as I thought the door was closed and locked. I banged on it for her to open it up, "Tasha!!!" I heard her crying but she didn’t budge. There was always a key on top of the doorway and I reached up there to receive it and unlocked the door. What I saw made me break down at that instant. There stood in front of me my 15-year old daughter with a handful of pills in one hand and in the other she was tightly gripping a knife. "Here baby give them to me." She stared at her reflection in disgust not budging, "Hand them to mama." Tears were streaming down my face I could barely see nor speak.
Her grasp loosened on the knife and one by one the pills fell from her hand. She leaned up against the wall and slid down as tears poured from her eyes as well. "Come here baby, come here." I got down next to her and pulled her body closer to mines and she laid her head on my shoulder. "Mama’s got you." We rocked back and forth and all you could hear was sobs from the both of us.

"I’m sorry mama!" She wrapped her arms tighter around me. "I’m so sorry."

"I know baby, I know." We stood up and walked to her room. I pulled back the covers and got in and cried together even more… you know when you think you’ve f.ixed everything and then the devil throws salt in every good situation. Well this right here was a perfect example. But this war we are fighting is only going to make us stronger, no matter whom the opponent is or what they have to say. I wrapped her up in my arms and we laid there in complete silence, not saying a word. I was scared to say something because I didn’t what to say, do I ask her why she wanted to commit suicide?? Or do I just leave it alone until she comes up to me about the situation??

Whatever the matter was I’m just grateful that I was able to stop her from basically ruining my life. I honestly can’t explain or tell you what I would’ve done without her, she’s my first born, my baby still… she’s my life. Both my children are, and now third child will also become apart of my life and I would love him/her the same as I love my children now.

As she slept I chuckled to myself remembering some of those moments that make a mother smile and proud. The very first time she used her potty, she was so happy and I was in tears. Or her first day of kindergarten I wanted to cry but instead I laughed; she was so hype and very, very candid even the teacher was in shock. The list goes on and on, and even the times where we fought and argued I loved her so much not even the hateful or negative things that were said could make my love discontinue. And looking at her now sleeping peacefully in my arms, I realized how privileged I am to have a daughter like her to call my creation. Tears slowly escaped from my eyes just from the thought of her actually taking her own life and no longer being in mines. I felt my eyes growing heavier and I didn't fight the feeling neither.

***
SHAWN'S P0V
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I woke up this morning with Tierra's body laying flat across mines; I swear she sleeps like she's the only one in the bed. But I loved her that much that I didn't remove her small body... sleep just like her mama. Having that talk with Beyonce last night made me realize a lot of things about myself, and helped me choose the direction I want my life/career to go in. I want to be apart of my daughter's life from now on, every second of their lives I want to witness... whether it's them getting into trouble or making us proud I'm going to be there and that's a promise that I'm going to keep. In order for me to hold tight to that promise it's final that I'm retiring from the music industry, my next album is going to be my last. I was also going to be the man to Beyonce that I never was, I can't take back all the pain and hurt that I caused her but I sure as hell was going to repair it. These past two days have been some of the hardest days in a while, but were Carter's we get through shit and keep it moving to bigger and better things. Not caring about the negative shit others had to say about us, we're a family, and buying this house had to be the best move for us to become a closer unit.

"TiTi wake up baby girl." She stirred in my arms and sat straight up, looking at me in a daze. "You okay?" She shook her head no and wrapped her arms around my neck resting her head on my shoulder. "C'mon lets go get washed up." As I was walking her to her room I walked passed Tasha's room and saw Beyonce and Tasha lying in the bed. "Bee." I whispered and she didn't budge, I smiled looking at my princess and queen and closed the door behind me.

"Daddy I hungry."

"Me too, you want to go get breakfast for mommy and sister?" She shook her head yes, "Okay let's get dressed so we can go to the grocery store." I let her pick out her own clothes while I ran her some bath water.

"I wear this?" I wasn't usually used to dressing her but from the looks of it she had it under control, of course she picked an outfit from the best clothing line in America... Rocawear.

"Yea, let's get you in the tub... now daddy doesn't know how to do you hair, so you gone have to cope with a playa!"

"You got it dude!"

"That's not gangsta baby thug." She curled up her top lip giggling and I chuckled, "You are so silly!" Once I got her bathed and dressed I went on ahead and did the same thing for myself and got dressed in a green and white Rocawear short outfit with some all white classic addidas. "Baby." I said shaking Bee lightly.

"Hmm?"

"Me and TiTi heading out, call me when you wake up aight?" She nodded her head and I kissed her lips, "Love you."

"Love you too." She mumbled and headed back to sleep. I walked out of the room making sure I had my cell phone and wallet.

"Come on baby thug." I scooped her up in my arms and we headed out to the car. The cool morning LA breeze felt well against our clean skin, "Buckle up." I placed her in the backseat of my 2007 Chevy Tahoe. We were bumping to Kanye West's newest CD graduation and Champion was blasting through the speakers and the beat was bumping through the speakers in the back. I looked in my mirror and saw TiTi bobbing her head and making up her own words for the verse and reciting the chorus word for word... she was too much.

We stopped at our new house first so I could meet up with my agent to do a quick walk-through. Everything was perfect and I couldn't wait until we moved in and decorated, which I honestly wanted nothing to do with... the only room I wanted to be in charge of was the theatre and the game room. The rest was left to Beyonce and the girls. Looking at TiTi's eyes bright up once she saw how big and spacious her room was going to be was funny as hell.

"You like it baby girl?"

"Yep!!" She yelled running around in circles and finally collapsing on the ground from being dizzy. "Daddy I still hungry!" She said rubbing her belly like a Buddha.

"C'mon I'll take you by McDonalds or something." I picked her up, "Thanks Justine." I said shaking my agents hand.

"The pleasure is all mines, any questions or concerns just give me a call."

"I will." The house was ready to move in, the day of the move was our call. I took TiTi to get something to eat at McDonalds and I decided since the place was pretty much empty due to the time in the morning we might as well dine in. “Be careful sweetie.”

“You want some daddy?”

“Uhh no you go ‘head and enjoy your meal.” While TiTi ate I watched her and imagined my grandchild calling me a ‘Grandpa.’ Of course I was going to need to come up with another name because grandpa wasn’t gone cut it with me, I’m still too young for that sort of label.

“Daddy I all done.” She said taking me out of my state of trance.

“What was that baby?”

“I’m finished.” She leaned back in her chair rubbing her now full belly; “Okay lets go to the grocery store so I can get a few things.” The paps were taking tons of pics once we stepped outside of the building and I could tell TiTi wasn’t enjoying the attention too well once one of the men got in her face.

“Ay man back up!” I stated firmly and gripped her hand tighter, “Shit aint called for, and yea you can quote me on that one!” He yelled something back and I flipped him the bird, “C’mon get in the car.” I helped her in her car seat and got on the driver side and pulled off. The whole ride to the store she sat in the back silently staring out of the window.

I hated the fact that I brought my children into the ‘celebrity’ world, but it wasn’t by choice. Once you become a Carter you’re a superstar, everybody’s always in your face wanting something. A picture, an autograph it’s always something no matter who you are with… family, friends they don’t care at all. And it sucks that such a young child has to experience life like that, upset that there are certain places that mommy and daddy just can’t go.

“You okay baby thug?”

She shook her head sadly and her bottom lip poked out, “I want mommy.” She said with her voice cracking and I knew she was on the verge of tears.

“Okay we’re going to go home.” I made a legal U turn and headed back into the direction of home. I swear on everything if TiTi wasn’t with me at the time I would go back and find that nigga that got in her face and stomp his ass to the ground. But I would hate for her to have to witness that and her dad going to jail. When we got home I opened the car door for her and picked her up, “Ugh, you getting heavy on daddy.” She sluggishly wrapped her arms around my neck and wrapped her legs around my waist.

“There mama’s baby is.” Bee said reaching for her once we got into the house, “Aww. What did you do to her Shawn?” She said giving me the evil eyebrow.

“I didn’t do a damn thing, the paparazzi men took it a lil too far and got in her face.” By her facial expression I could tell she was upset about the situation also but what exactly could we do about it? “Where’s Tasha?”

“Umm… she’s in her room.” She hesitated to say and I walked down the hallway and for some odd reason I felt nervous about speaking to her.

I knocked lightly and called out her name, “Come in.” She said in a faint voice you could barely hear. I slowly opened her door and closed it behind me walking in and taking a seat on her bed beside her. She held her head down in shame afraid to look up or even at me, for a good minute it was silent then she finally spoke up. “Daddy… I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“Look at me.” Her head slowly rose and our eyes were now connected, “We’re going to make it through this storm. Through every storm there’s a blessing right?” She nodded her head, “This is going to be our blessing.” I said holding my hand to her stomach. “You made a big mistake, but you’re not in this alone. You got me you got your mom, aunties, uncles, sister… everybody is going to be right by your side throughout this whole thing. You gotta do one thing though!”

“What’s that?”

“All I want you to do is… trust me. Do you think you can handle that?”

She nodded her head yes and I smiled and kissed her forehead. “I love you baby girl.”

“I love you too daddy.” She gave me a hug and I held onto her tight not wanting to let go, feeling as if I did I was going to lose her. While embracing into our hug I glanced over at her night stand and spotted a folded up letter with the printed letters, “To: My family; Love: Tasha Carter.” I picked it up and pulled back from the hug.

“What’s this?” I asked unfolding it before she could respond. My eyes quickly skimmed the letter as they loaded up with tears. When I finished the letter I ripped it up into shreds and threw it onto the ground. “You listen to me… you… are not a… problem aight?” I said through tears and she nodded her head yes. She scooted closer to me and wiped away my tears as hers continued to fall. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes sir.”

“Ok.” She wrapped her arms around my stomach and I held her close. “Ok.” I repeated.

**
“Tasha c’mon girl!” I shouted as I looked at myself over in the mirror once more. The both of us were going to go out and have dinner with Shaquel, her baby’s father. I had to make about 10 promises to both Beyonce and Tasha unfortunately. Because I wanted more than anything to kill that lil boy but I had to behave. “Baby how do I look?”

“Like a piece of shit.” She joked and kissed my lips.

“I got me some hatas.” I sang loudly and she laughed, “Seriously how do I look?”

”Like a piece of shit. Why are you trying to look nice anyways? I mean you’re going to meet the boy that got our daughter pregnant, you’re not meeting Bush.”

“If I was meeting up with him bests believe I would have my 9k tucked tightly to murder his dumbass.”

“Oh whatever… you look umm, nice I guess that’s what you would call it.” I looked at her like yea right you know I’m fine as hell. “Okay you’re a damn stud. You happy Hov?”

“And you know this mannn.” She rolled her eyes and Tasha came out of her room. “Are you finally ready?”

“Yes daddy, you act like I had you waiting for years!” She said as if I hadn’t been waiting for decades.

“I mean I’ve been waiting so long I watched Jesus being born.”

“Oh yea right. Bye mama.” Beyonce gave her a hug and kiss, “Bye TiTi.” She waved goodbye, she was still upset and sad about earlier today.

“Aight baby we out, hold this shit down while I’m gone!”

“Boy you act like you gonna be gone for 2 years, I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Bye.” She pecked me on the lips and walked away but not without me slapping that ass, “Shawn!” She said whining. “That shit hurt nigga!”

“Baby thug show ya mama how to be gangsta for me… gangsta’s don’t whine.” She discreetly flipped me the bird and Tasha and I left the house.

SOLANGE’S P0V
SETTING:
MARQUES’S PLACE
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For the past three weeks or so Marques and I have become best friends, well not Kelly’s and I best friend status. But you see my drift, we’re the type of friends to make out, do the touchy feely thing and then stop it right there. I’ll admit I was falling for him fast, and that’s the part that scared me the most. I’ve had my share of terrible relationships and Daniel is the best example, yes I love him dearly… but my Jesus. After our marriage ended after just a short period of time I told myself that I wouldn’t get involved into another relationship on that level and get my son’s feelings involved neither. It just wasn’t worth it to me, and my son was the most important person and responsibility in my life right now. Besides the late night booty call niggas that I had in my lil black book I was a proud single mother. Then here comes along a guy that I just wanted to basically have sex with and we’ve become much more than that, and we haven’t even thought about having sex. Well I can’t say we haven’t thought about it, because God knows I have… but it wasn’t needed nor was it discussed.

“So wait let me get this straight…” He said while we sat in his big California sized bed laughing our heads off. I was telling him the exact reason why I actually met him and the plan I came up with in order to get him to go after the man that ‘stole’ my purse. “You asked that man to steal your purse so that I could run after him?” I nodded my head yes while trying to hold back laughter, “I feel used.” He said holding his hand to his chest.

“No babe it wasn’t even like that, I was nervous to come and talk to you so I had to think of something. It’s not everyday I see a sexy man like yourself walking down the streets of Melrose. Their either g.ay or white, and that’s just not me.” I said sort of lying about the me being nervous part, but everything else was the honest to God truth.

“Uh huh that’s what you say.”

“What you don’t believe me?” I asked seductively and he looked at me with a cocked eyebrow.

“Ha, not one bit.” He positioned himself flat on the bed lying down on his back with his hands folded behind his head. “You gotta show me.” I slowly climbed on top of him without any hesitation in my moves. This non-sex thing was driving a sister crazy especially when you’re used to having your f.ix every night or whenever you make a phone call.

The air conditioner was on full blast but the atmosphere in the room was as hot as a desert day in Cali. I could feel his erected penis throbbing in between my legs causing the prize separating my legs to exude my flowing juices. His hands started to fondle with my breasts and massage my butt. Boy oh Boy was this, the excitement that my body has been yearning for, for the past three weeks. His slob traces from my neck down to my collarbone and back up to my lips again was sending my body into an immediate tremble… what I would like to call the sex-holy ghost.

After about ten minutes you would’ve thought that our little freaky fiasco maybe would’ve went somewhere, rather than the same position we were in. Nope. I mean I know as fine as this nigga is he has some kind of experience, the way he works his tongue gives me the impression that eating food wasn’t the only thing that his tongue was good for. And my Jesus was my body needing something… something!!! Feeling as if nothing was going to come out of this I reluctantly pulled back and wiped around my mouth.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked with a confused look on his face. Lord knows I wanted to smack the taste out of his mouth but his hazel brown eyes, light colored complexion, smooth clean clear skin, and his permanent smooth waves in his hair stopped me from cursing him out and possibly saved me from going straight to hell.

“Nothing, I just remembered I told Beyonce that I would stop by.” I slid off the bed cursing to myself. I slid my heels on and leaned over on the bed to give him a kiss, “I’ll call you when I get in.”

“Make sure you do that aight, I wanna make sure you’re safe.” He held onto my face and gave me multiple pecks on the lips that would easily make the most religious woman out there turn into a full-blown sinner!!

“I will.” I turned to walk out and headed out to my car immediately wasting no time at all to pull out my nigga phone. A nigga phone was a phone with all of the guys’ numbers that you went out with or have tried to holla at you when you wasn’t feelin them too well. I was so tempted to call Daniel’s trifling ass and tell him to come to my home, he gives an amazing head job. But I knew that would be a downgrade for my ass if I stooped down to his level and went to him for sex. I scrolled down my phonebook once more and spotted my softie Jordan. He was the type of guy that would do anything to please me, I sort of felt bad for using him like this especially since he was nowhere near being my type… but then again I was way overdue.

“Ay wats up baby!”

“Hey Jordan, you busy tonight?”

“Nah wats up… you need me to come over?” I smiled to myself.

“Uh huh.”

“Be ova in 10.” The sad thing is he was going to be at my house in ten minutes and this nigga lived a good 20-25 minutes away. I’m telling you he’s a women pleaser especially to me.

In no time Jordan was at my apartment complex, he was the most faithful out of all my ‘niggas’ so I decided to add him to the list of guests that were welcome up the elevator. Of course I had to call the front office first but trust his name was there.

“Knock, Knock.” I ran my tongue across my teeth while looking in the mirror and was satisfied. I threw on some boy shorts and a tank top showing off my belly button ring. “Coming!” I yelled and walked briskly to open the door with my ‘partner’ for tonight standing on the other side looking like he just stepped out of the shower. He had on a nice crisp white tee, red monkey jeans that sagged down below his waist, hair was cut and his jewelry was shining like he lit up the world. “Hey you.”

“Wats up!” He pulled me into a tight hug burying my petite body in his arms. “You still looking sexy as hell girl.”

“What? Was this look supposed to fade away? Hell naw.” I said answering the question for him causing him to chuckle. “So what we just gone stand here or we gone head back to the bedroom?” I smiled seductively and he led the way grabbing my hand and holding on tightly. Once we entered the room he laid me down on the bed and I sat propped up on my elbows watching him strip down to his basketball shorts and wife beater that I was soon going to rip off.

“First things first baby.” Without wasting any time his lips immediately became attached to my collarbone making his traces up and down my neck. Our clothes were instantly removed and thrown everywhere, “Look baby let me lick that sweet clit. I wanna taste you.” A smile crept across my face, see this is why I somewhat had love Jordan.

He stood up from the bed looking at my body glisten and legs spread across the bed, Jordan began to move his way up the bed running his hands up my thighs until he reached his destination. With his index fingers he spread my lips apart revealing how wet my pussy was. I began to moan as he gently ran his fingers lightly across my sensitive clit, nearly sending me off the bed. His hot breath blowing on her pussy lips sent chills up and down her spine. Jordan’s tongue slipped up and down my clit drawing it from it’s hiding place. He tasted my excitement as I grinded my pussy against his tongue and he slurped up any dripping juices. He placed his hands behind knees pushing them further back allowing him to maneuver his tongue around.

I think Jordan was the only that I have ever been with to make me cum twice, both back to back.

“Damnnn.” Jordan said lying next to me in my bed, and for the first time ever after any type of sex my mind drifted off to another man… Marques. His soft pink lips touching mines and his nice firm hands holding my body close to his and once again sex was not needed in order for me to have these types of feelings for him. “Solange!”

“Oh uh babe?”

“You aight?”

“Yea, umm I think you should go though. I have to go make a quick visit to Beyonce’s.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips and nodded his head understanding. “Text me when you get home so that I’ll know that you are safe.”

“Aight lil mama, drive safely.” He slid his shoes back on and headed out of my house, once I heard the front door shut I pulled out my cell phone from my purse and realized that I had two missed calls; and they were both from Marques. Two hours had already passed and I knew he was worried, I was scared to call him especially after what I just done behind his back.

Instead I called the person that I knew would understand after the fact that she cursed me out, “Hello?” She asked in a groggily voice.

“Beyonce meet me at the 24-hour Dairy queen!”

“What the hell Solange? Do you realize I am sleep?”

“No shit Sherlock. Get yo pregnant ass up and come to the dairy queens…”

“Why don’t you just come over to my house, you could stay the night. I’m not getting out of this bed and out of my comfort zone because you probably f.ucked up.”

“Shut the hell up. I’ll be there in a lil bit!” I quickly hung up on her and took a quick shower. Once I got out of the shower my phone started ringing again and it was Marques. “Aww shit!”

Sat May 15, 2021 7:33 pm

CHAPTER 17
SHAWN’S P0V
8:25 PM

AT DINNER
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Tasha and I sat at the restaurant Moe’s waiting for this nigga that Fucked my daughter. First intentions were to beat the shit outta him not really giving a damn, but Beyonce and Tasha made me promise them that I would at least ‘behave.’

“Is that him?” I said pointing to the door entrance. He was a real flashy dude, nice jewelry in the ears neck and wrist. Fresh braids and his outfit still had the tags on em. “I can tell this nigga is a joke.”

“Dad.” She hissed at me as he made his way over to the table and I shrugged my shoulders. “Hey Shaquel.”

“Wats up Tasha. How you feeling?” He said giving her a warm hug a little too close for my comfort. But hey whatever works for my girls somewhat has to work for me, either that or I deal with that crazy ass momma of theirs.

“Pretty good. Shaquel this is my daddy as you probably know already.” He smiled and stuck out his hand.

“Wat up my dude.”

“I aint yo dude youngin.” I said and slapped away his hand. “Sit down please before you make an ass out of ya self.” Under the table Tasha kicked me in my leg lightly. “Ouch.” I said grabbing for my throbbing leg. “So how do you feel about getting MY daughter pregnant? I mean did your dad not teach you how to put on a damn condom?”

“Yes sir he did. Did Mrs. Carter not teach her daughter to be put on birth control?” He sated boldly and I reached across the table and snatched him up but quickly let him go once I realized there was top security here and I’m sure their racist behinds wouldn’t mind sending a nigga like myself straight to jail.

“Watch what you Fuckin say lil nigga I would tear yo ass up and slide yo ass in a damn condom. Bet that way you won’t forget to put one on huh?” He looked at me in fear. “Answer me lil boy!”

“No sir.”

I cleared my throat and picked up my menu avoiding eye contact with Tasha, “So what are we going to be having on this lovely evening?” I asked sarcastically.

“I’ll have the lobster platter.” Shaquel stated looking at me. I looked at him then the menu and saw that, that shit cost $59.00. I looked back at him and he sat there with a smirk on his face, “Is there something wrong Mr. Carter?”

“Oh no not at all Shitface oh I mean Shaquel, my bad.” I quickly made my decision on what I was going to be eating, “Ay baby girl what you want?”

“Hmm I’ll have the chicken ceasar salad.” The waitress came and took our orders and brought us the drinks that we requested.

“So Shitface do you work? I mean how do you plan on taking care of your creation once it gets here, or do you plan on bailing out last minute?” I said taking a sip of my cola while staring at him to see if I could read what he was about to say… or even a lie.

“Haha. As a matter of fact yes I do work. My dad owns his own car lots and I’m part owner. And no Mr. Carter… I don’t plan on bailing out on my child, I helped make it why would I disregard something I helped make?” He eyed me up and down, I guess trying to relate what he just said to my past… but that shit wasn’t happening.

“Who is you’re father Shitface?” I could’ve set him in his place but I acted like I didn’t know he was trying to relate his statement to my life.

“Ramerio Rodriguez.”

“Oh yea I know who ya daddy is, bought a couple of cars from him. Real nice guy… what the Fuck happened to you baby boy?” I asked taking a sip of my drink.

“Daddy would you stop it?” Tasha hissed at me finally speaking up after just sitting back and watching us play with a wild fire.

“Naw Tasha don’t even trip, I completely understand his anger. He’s upset with me for getting his daughter pregnant but he fails to realize that it wasn’t rape meaning it took two people to make this baby. She’s at fault just as much as I am, but I completely understand.”

“You would be aight if you didn’t talk so damn much lil man. I don’t think you completely understand a damn thang you’re what 16? The only thing you understand is how to wipe yo ass when mommy’s not around. Haha, don’t come at me with no shit lil man I’d F.uck yo ass up.”

“Haha, naw 17 and I’ve experienced more in life than you would imagine.”

“Yea I’m sure you have sonny boy!”

“Oh my God!! You know what I think this lil dinner thing wasn’t such a good idea.” Tasha said standing up.

“You haven’t spoken so much this whole time baby girl but when you do… you speak the truth.” I stood up leaving enough money on the table to pay for the bill. “Have seat, I’ll take the honors of leaving, Tasha call me when yall are done.” I said eyeing Shaquel and he quickly turned away to avoid my anger.

“Dad stop… don’t leave.” She begged.

“Nah, I’m good baby girl… just call me when yall are done it’s no big deal.” I kissed her on the forehead and left out of the restaurant to take a walk down the lit up streets in Los Angeles where everyone’s dreams are supposed to come true… I’m not too sure how many people dreamed or what they dreamed about but I know for damn sure I didn’t dream about this happening when I moved down here.

I heard someone call out my name and I pulled my hoodie over my head, remembering that I didn’t have security on duty. I then remembered what I dreamed of, I wanted to be somebody… I wanted my name to be known on every continent and my music to be worldwide and reach out to those of different cultures and races. And that dream came true. But what I didn’t read in the copyright was that losing yourself was almost guaranteed, not only losing yourself but also losing everything you have and love.

“Yo Cindy… it’s Jay. Do me a favor release a public statement for me word for word, quote for quote.” Once I recited the statement that the public/fans would soon hear about I got off the phone with my publicist and called up a couple of producers and set up studio time for tonight. With the beats already in my mind that I wanted to hear I was ready to spit fire.

I glanced down at my watch and noticed that almost an hour had passed since I left the restaurant. I decided to walk back assuming that they were done chatting and eating whatever they ordered. Once I got there I saw the both of them sitting at the table still laughing and giggling away, I somewhat smiled but it quickly faded when I remembered what he did.

“Hey Tasha yall almost ready to go?”

“Uh yea… I’ll call you later on tonight Shaquel.” She said walking into his open arms for a hug. “Thanks for coming.”

“No problem thanks for inviting me. Mr. Carter certainly it was nice to meet you!” He said shaking my hand.

“Yea, something like that.”

He smirked and looked at Tasha, “Don’t have me waiting up all night for that phone call.” She giggled and nodded her head and we walked out to retrieve my car from valet. “Sooo…”

“So what?”

“How do you like him?” I wanted to be honest with her, I mean he was going to now be apart of her life and mines.

“Umm he’s a chill dude… arrogant though.”

“If it’s not the kettle calling the pot black!” She shot at me and I chuckled, I had a right to be arrogant. Look at my ex wife and look at my children… haha.

BEY0NCE’S P0V
10:27 pm

Solange and I sat in the living room on the couch so she could explain to me another one of her ‘hoe’ stories. I didn’t necessarily think she was a ‘hoe’ but then again this lil sleep with a different man every night wasn’t healthy for her or Julez. He need a stable male figure in his life and Daniel was obviously wasn’t that male. Because in her mind she was still ‘young’ with a child but in reality she was an adult with a ‘child’ and there’s a huge difference. Adults make sacrifices for their children and when you are young you do exactly what she’s doing. From what I hear Marques was too good of a man for her to just let him slip away that easily. I’d be damned if I let my simple minded sister let him slip away from her life because of something so stupid that she did.

“BeeBee I like him so much!” She whined while laying her head on my shoulder. “It’s jut we’ve been talking for three weeks now don’t you think we should’ve been had sex by now I mean damn.”

I looked at her like she done lost her damn mind, or the little bit of mind that she had left. “This is so damn sad. You know what’s so sad about your situation is that you want the sex more than he does, which is rarely the case in a situation between two people. The male is usually the one after some booty but Solo baby I think you’re a sex- aholic.” She quickly jumped back staring at me like I was crazy, “What I’m serious Solange. You out here acting like you are a hoe but you are so much better than that. Yo pussy aint no buffet, you can’t just let a nigga come and go when he pleases. Your name means something to people and these niggas you Fuckin with honestly don’t give a damn about Solange Knowles. They want to mess up your career and reputation as bad as possible and sadly you’re allowing them. You got you a good man that obviously is interested in you, and not what’s in between ya legs but you can’t seem to realize that there is a man out there that loves you for you.” I cupped her chin in my hands and stared into her eyes, “You’re beautiful and you know that, but you know one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

“Are you calling me trash?” She joked and I playfully hit her. “No I’m just playing, it’s just so hard. Once you’ve given all you could in a relationship and you see the ending results aren’t exactly your fairytale ending… you sort of give up hope ever being in a committed relationship again, you know?”

“Have you forgotten that my boyfriend just happens to be my ex husband?” I said laughing. “I was married before and I tried so hard to make it work, so hard. I cried every night praying to God asking for guidance to get us through our trials. But you know what God gave me?” I smirked, “Divorce papers.” We laughed lightly. “Yea and that was the best decision that I could’ve made in my life. Just so happens that God brought him back into my life for the better and I can say that accepting him was the best decision that I’ve made in my life. Baby girl you just gotta realize that through every storm there’s a blessing, and I’m not jumping to any assumptions or anything but I think Marques just might be your and Julez’s blessing.”

“Hmm so you think I should get rid of this huh?” She said holding up her so-called ‘nigga’ phone.

“Yea give it up boo, here give it to me Shawn might start actin up. Hmm whose Jordan?” I said looking at her recent calls.

“Da nigga that just ate the shit outta my pu…”

“Damn aight Solo!! You didn’t need to give me all that information.” She rolled her eyes and I pulled her into a hug. “You know what you gotta do now dontchu?” I said looking down at her.

“Yea… call back Jordan.”

“Solange!”

“Dang I’m just playing. I have to call Marques and tell him how I feel.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Yep! But you gotta get the hell up outta my house now.”

“I thought you said I could stay the night?”

“Girl I was half sleep. I’d be damned I if I let you stay at my house yo crazy ass. Go talk to ya man and get my nephew from mama’s house and I’m not playing witchu neither!!” I warned her.

“Oh whateva. I’ll talk to you tomorrow big booty. Bye baby!!” She said rubbing my belly as if it were big enough to even tell that I was pregnant. “Love ya boo!”

“Love you too babe.” She got up and I watched her pull out of the driveway and locked the door behind me. Before I could even get to the kitchen the door came flying open and I heard Tasha chewing Shawn out. “How did dinner go?” I asked already knowing the answer just by looking at the facial expressions on both their faces.

“Mama daddy forgot all about our promises!”

“Shawn!” I said punching him in the arm. “You are such an asshole you know that right?”

“Yea I know you remind me everyday.” He said with sarcasm dripping in each word. “You know I love you right?” He said with a puppy dogface and I mushed his forehead.

“Yea, yea whateva. What’s love got to do with it?”

“A whole lot if you ask me, if you love me you won’t leave me in the dog house for a week, if you love me you won’t get mad at me if I go to the studio tonight!”

“Babe.” I whined to him, “This late?”

“Yea, I mean if you wanna come you can I just thought you need some rest.”

“While you guys sit her and talk I’m going to bed I’m a little tired G`Night parents!”

“Night honey!” I said giving her a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug.

“Goodnight baby girl.” She walked away to her room and I punched the shit outta him in his chest. “Oh damn… what the hell was that for bae?”

“Shit I don’t even know.” I said laughing and he quickly grabbed me up and ran to our bedroom. “Shh Shawn Tierra’s sleep!”

“You telling me to be quiet but you louder than me. Open up the door.” I opened it and he kicked it shut behind him. “So can I go?”

“Shawn I’m not your mother, you don’t need my permission to leave the house.”

“Oh trust me I know that I’m just making sure bae don’t get smart with me youngin!!” I tossed the pillow at him but his fast reflexes allowed him to catch it. “So how was your night?” He said changing into some Jordan sweat pants and a matching sweat jacket.

“It was okay, I had to play barbies and Dr. Phil all in the same night. Can you say exciting!” I said and he laughed and kissed my lips gently. “Are you just asking me that because you want to go to the studio without me being upset or do you actually care?” I said reading his mind, see that’s what happens when you’ve known someone for almost half your life you know the exact reason why they ask certain questions.

“Haha you’re not as dumb as you look!” He snapped.

I flipped him the bird, “Ha-ha fukk you okay! If you are leaving why don’t you just go now? I’m sick of looking at ya ugly ass.” I joked and he tackled me to the bed. “Ouch baby you’re hurting us!”

He smirked and rose up, “Us?”

“Yea us… did you forget I am pregnant with your child?”

“How the hell could I forget? My third child with Ms. Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter, somebody pinch me I think I’m day dreaming!”

“Bye Shawn!” I said laughing and pushing him out of the bedroom door, “Drive safely and lock the front door behind you!!” I yelled after him.

“I love you ma nigga!” He shouted and I burst out laughing.

“I love you too baby!”

I looked at the clock and realized that I was tired but I wasn’t ready to lie down just yet, especially since my body has gotten accustomed to Shawn being right next to me. A smile crept across my face when I thought about my son or daughter and Tasha’s child growing up together. That’s when I realized almost everyone was still oblivious to the fact that Tasha and I were both pregnant only a select few knew. Even Tierra didn’t know her big sister was going to be having a child. Kelly and them were going to beat my ever-loving ass and I already knew Tasha was definitely going to get her ass beat by Kelly’s hard-core ass. Michelle’s just going to pray for her as usual.

The only way to get all these black people together would be to have food (fried chicken) and music involved. Our house is all ready for us to move in to it, we just have to well… move. I’m not the sneaky type to do things behind my man’s back but for this past week Kelly and I have been decorating the house… well the parts of the house that he is allowing me to decorate. The outside, game room and theatre room is all him… and our master bedroom the both of us are going to design. Everything is already ordered and into the house, the walls have been painted and everything. Whether Shawn likes it or not is not really my concern but the fact that I didn’t consult him about it may tighten me up a bit. But if we were going to wait on him to move with his busy schedule I’d be dead by then.

Our new home was the perfect spot to throw a nice family cookout with a select few of close friends. I guess you could call it a house warming party or more like a ghetto house warming party in the suburbs.

2 DAYS LATER
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Today was our so-called party at our new home. Shawn still unconscious about our home being decorated and I’m not too sure how he’s going to react but I’m not too concerned either. The music and food was already set up and cooked by the one and only Tina Knowles.

“Beyonce if you not gone tell me where the hell we going the please pull over the car!” He b.itched while sitting in the passenger seat. “I mean damn where the hell you driving to?”

“Jay look around where the hell do you think I’m driving?” I said using his stage name on purpose. It was only obvious as to where I was going due to the certain roads I was taking.

“So I’m Jay now??”

“Just shut up and ride!”

“Don’t forget whose wearing the pants in this relationship!” He warned and I took a quick glance at him sizing him up, completely unphased.

“Well right about now I think we both are.” I said referring to the fact that we both had jeans on.

“Ha ha real funny!” I shrugged my shoulders and continued on driving. “Uh huh we’re going to the house… why are there so many cars here?” He said anxiously trying to get out of a moving car.

“Well damn can you wait until I at least put the car in park?”

“Nope cause you got some kinda shit goin on here… Annie and Eric car is right there. See you think you’re slick huh?” I looked at him innocently shrugging my shoulders and batting my eyelashes.

“Shawn before you go in there don’t over react because I know how you are!”

“Did you so something to make me over react?” I just stared at him as we made our way to the door, “See you be pulling that shit on me bae!”

“Shawn!!” I said clinging onto his arm as he unlocked the front door and I held my breath as we walked further in and came into the now furnished living room. He stood there silently and looked around with no emotion. You could hear everyone laughing and talking in the kitchen and backyard, but in the living room it was dead silent.

“Who paid for it?” he said finally breaking the dead silence. He glanced at me and I bit down on my bottom lip. He shook his head and smirked, “I knew it.”

“Shawn does it matter who pays for it? I mean let’s be serious it’s getting paid for and it’s getting done.”

“Yea it matters. I mean yea every man loves an independent woman, a lady that can take care of herself… but damn. Let me do something to prove that I’m a changed man… let me pay for every item that we buy to furnish this house. Let me confirm that I deserve to be back into your life…”

“You don’t have to confirm anything Shawn… you’re here. And you’re not going anywhere and I can promise you that.” He gently kissed me on the lips and bear hugged me from behind. “Well do you at least like it?”

“I loveeee it!! Let me guess Kelly did all of this?”

“Well damn give me some credit. I helped.”

“My bad babe. Kelly did it and you assisted, there you go. Now let’s go in this kitchen and see why all of these niggas is in my house!! Or was this apart of your lil plan also?” I stared at him harmlessly. “I’m gone have to watch you… ya lil sneaky self.” He tapped my butt and grabbed a hold of my hand. “What up black people!”

“Hey!!” They all yelled or all of who was in the kitchen.

“Bout time you horny gorillas show up. I mean this is ya damn house!” Solange bluntly shouted out. Seems like the lil talk we had the other night got through her thick ass head… not too far from her was Marques f.ixing Julez a plate to eat. I looked at him and then her and noticed she was smiling. “Thanks Bee.”

“I know, I know.” I gave her a hug and kiss. “Don’t fukk it up Solange and I’m not playing witchu!” I whispered in her ear as I walked past her to give Julez a kiss. “Hey aunties baby!”

“Auntie BeeBee… I eat!” He said with a bbq wing in his left hand and another in his right.

“Yep!! Looks like you were hungry!” he nodded his head and took another bite and I turned my head disgusted.

“Mommy!” TiTi yelled running towards me from outside in her bathing suit and I walked to meet her letting the hot sun come in contact with my golden bronze skin.

“Hey mamas!! Did you eat lil girl?” She shook her head no, “Well let’s go inside and don’t say no neither… you probably haven’t eaten all day and you out here in the pool.”

“Mommm.” She whined but I tapped her lightly on her mouth.

“No whining neither, if I tell daddy that you’re whining he’s going to spank you so shut it up.” She hugged onto my waist and I sighed heavily and picked her up, my Jesus was this lil girl spoiled. And not just by Shawn and me but by everyone in this damn family… her and Julez.

As we walked back into the house I realized how many people were actually here, it had to be about 45-50… all close family and friends of course. But all these people were going to be receiving the surprising news from both Tasha and me.

Two hours went by and everyone was listening to old school music, a choice of course chosen by none other than Mr. Mathew Knowles himself. The food was great conversation was always hilarious especially when you have different personalities and point of views all in one room.

“Eric you can’t say that a hooker can’t turn into a housewife!” I argued back.

“Why not? Just like the saying once a cheater always a cheater it’s the same for hookers and hoes and pimps. That’s your lifestyle and it’s become apart of you… unless you’re willing to give up apart of you then you are going to forever remain a hooker!! Can I get an amen?”

“Hell naw.” Shawn blurted out, “I was a cheater and look at me now!” He stated proudly.

“And whose to say you haven’t cheated?” Michelle asked and I looked at Shawn with the infamous “Knowles eyebrow.”

“Don’t you have a church meeting to attend?” He asked and we all laughed, “My baby know wassup.”

“Lil bro I don’t know, you’ve always had your slick ways of doing things. Remember that time you were 12 years old and you snuck Jamie in the house while you hid Takreshia in the bathroom??” Eric said putting him on the spot.

“Eric stop it!! He was going through puberty his lil man needed to explore.” Said Annie and Shawn got up to leave. “Aww Pookie stop acting like that, we all love you’re trifling ass don’t front.”

“Yea, yea. I’m going to go find me a hooker… she’ll do me right!”

“I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!” Michelle said adding more fuel to the fire.

“Yall are a mess!” I said about to get up but my mother pulled me back down and whispered into my ear to tell everyone about the ‘pregnancy.’ I took a deep breath, “Hey yall thanks for coming to this so called ghetto ass house warming/ cook out. I wanted to welcome everyone in our new home but I also wanted to bring everyone here to let everyone in on a teency weency secret.”

“Oh my goodness my best friend is turning to drugs. See I knew it… I told Michelle and Angie but nope nobody wants to listen to Kelly. What is it meth? Heroin?”

“No Kelly I’m not on drugs crazy ass. I don’t really know how to say this without being straightforward to everyone… I’m pregnant.” I said nonchalantly and the room fell silent.

“I’ll take the drugs for 200 hundred please.” Kelly said causing us all to laugh of course, “Naw I’m only playing… I’m so happy for my Bee!!” She screamed and ran over to give me a hug and I gladly accepted it. Everyone else followed suit and said how happy they were that I was bringing yet another Carter into this small world. Little did they know Tasha also had some news of her own. She looked at me for reassurance and I held on tight to her hand to let her know I was right there no matter what.

“Not to take the limelight away from my mom because I myself am very, very excited to welcome another lil sibling into this world. But I have some news of my own… about two or three weeks ago I made a mistake. With every mistake there’s a consequence. Some good and some bad… and I guess God worked mines out both ways. I’ll completely understand if you guys stray away from me for a while but know one thing I’m sorry. With that said just like my mom, I’m pregnant.” A few tears had escaped her eyes and I wiped them away for her and kissed her forehead. I know this was hard telling your own family that you had been knocked up at such a young age and would soon be a parent but it had to be done.

Silence took over the room, even the younger children were in shock and I doubt they even knew what the hell was going on. But the adults… were completely aware of the situation.

“Where the fukk does this lil nigga live that did this shit?? I’m about to fukk his lil punk ass up to the highest power!!!” Eric said grabbing his car keys and his tennis shoes. “Either he comes here or I’ll go to him.”

“Ay man calm down… I met the lil dude already.” Shawn said coming back into the room.

“Shawn man I don’t know how the hell you are so calm about this shit when I’m not even blood related and I want to bust a whole in the lil nigga.” A heated TyTy said and just like a domino affect the other man-followed suit all except my dad.

“Honey I know we go to church and God knows where my heart is; I’m saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost. But got dammit I’m about to break one of those Ten Commandments… when I’m done I promise I’ll repent.” My dad finally said speaking up and taking off his belt I’m guessing to whoop the poor little boy.

“Mathew what you gone do whoop the lil boy?” My mom said.

“Whoop?? Hell naw if I did that he would still be alive. I’m about to hang that lil monkey the good ol fashioned way. Fellas yall wit me?” They all nodded their heads and left with no thought of turning back.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:34 pm

CHAPTER 18
SHAWN’S P0V
“BURRIED TRUTH”

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HIP HOP LEGEND AND BUISNESS MOGUL JAY-Z HAS RELEASED A STATEMENT TO THE PUBLIC A FEW MONTHS BACK STATING HIS RETIREMENT. HAVING EX WIFE BEYONCE KNOWLES-CARTER BACK INTO THE PICTURE SEEMS TO HAVE PUT HIS LIFE AT A WHOLE NEW PERSEPECTIVE AT THE YOUNG AGE OF 34. RUMORS HAVE FLED OUT THAT HIM AND BEYONCE (FASHION DESIGNER) ARE EXPECTING A THIRD CHILD AND POSSIBLY BECOMING GRANDPARENTS. MR. CARTER HAS REFUSED TO HAVE ANY SAY-SO ON THE ALLEGED RUMOR.

“Damn babe how they just suspect that? No one has said anything about the pregnant situation to the media.” I said looking at the Ebony magazine that we just received in our mail today.

“Shawn I’m 2 months pregnant, obviously a tad bit fatter than I ever was and Tasha’s still tiny as hell but her stomach isn’t so flat anymore baby… they’re going to find out sooner or later.” She said plopping down next to me on the plush sofa with a turkey sandwich in one hand and a can of soda in the other. “Before you say anything about what I’m eating I’ll just tell you to shut the hell up!”

“(Laughing) See babe why you always gotta be mean to me?”

“Because you and everybody else forever talking about me but not Tasha, knowing damn well I’ve always been the one to get my grub on.” She said with attitude and that only made her more attractive during her pregnancy, yea she gained a couple of pounds here and there but she’ll always outshine any b.itch in the club.

“It’s okay eat all you want because I already know that once you have the baby your gonna start complaining to me about how badly you need to lose weight. And then you’re going to take it out on me and blame me because I didn’t stop you from eating!”

“I knew I was with your ass for a reason!!” She said laughing at the fact that I knew her all too well.

“But you know what, it’s gone be alright because me and Junior gone crank that Heisman on you.”

“I don’t know what on this earth gave you the reason to think that I would actually name my son after you?? Shawn Is not a name I plan on passing on in every generation, you better think again buddy old pal.”

“You would do that to me on my first son baby?”

“And your last son, you better believe after this baby I’m getting my tubes tied aint no more Carter’s coming out of this coochie.”

“Yea, yea whatever, I’m going to the studio. Be back before dinner and I want my plate made with roast beef, mash potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob and a dinner role with a glass of wine when I come back.”

“Since when did Pizza hut start making full course meals?” She joked and I gave her the bird, “I’ll think about cooking if you think about taking me shopping.”

“Pshh you can forget about that, my credit card bill looks like the digits in my cell number. Nope!”

“You acting like you saying no is going to stop me from using mines. You aint the only one in this house ballin’ boo.” She said waving her black card in front of my face.

“Giselle.”

“Corey.” She said in a mocking fashion, working my nerves on purpose. I tossed my black card at her, “Thanks baby!”

“Yea whateva. I’m gone, love you Bee.”

“Love you too.” I walked off and she quickly grabbed my shirt spinning me into her arms, “I can’t get a kiss or nothing huh?” I held her in my arms for a couple of minutes letting my hands get acquainted with her nicely built curves. “No, no baby. I asked for a kiss and you tryna go all the way.” She said whining and getting out of my grasp.

“C’mon Bee!!!” I said pulling her by the wrist.

“No. I have to go get TiTi in about 15 minutes from school, whatever you had planned can wait till tonight trust me, yo dick aint going nowhere.”

“Ion’t know babe, you know my old hoes aint happy I’m tryna settle down with my ex wife. They blowin up the cell boo. If it got somebody’s named tattooed on it tonight don’t say nothing.”

“Them hoes would get they asses whooped and put in a damn body bag, and I wouldn’t mind shipping the body to they mama. Don’t Fuck with me Corey.”

“See I was just playing about that shit, but you hype as hell using a nigga middle name and everything.” I said shaking my head and she stood in front of me as serious as a marshin. “You Carter women are too much. I’m outta here, drive safely.” I planted a kiss on her lips and quickly left before I made her even more upset, don’t think it was possible but with Beyonce… anything’s possible.

For today’s ride I jumped in Bee’s black on black range rover, I hated her car but I’m sure it had plenty of gas something my cars lacked at the moment. Her car had no bass in it whatsoever, which is a must in every niggas car. But I couldn’t pick my cake and have my ice-cream so I dealt with it just like any other man in love with his woman would do.

BEY0NCE’S P0V

I was just about to go crazy looking for them damn keys to my Range Rover, until I looked outside and noticed that the so called man I’m so deeply in love with took it or more like stole it. I was hungry as hell still, late to pick up my baby from preschool and this nigga wanna play around with keys and cars and shit.

‘Fuck you!’ I quickly typed into my phone as a text to Shawn and pressed send before grabbing the keys to his BMW.

“Tried to before I left. I knew you wanted some of daddy’s dick.’

‘Naw nigga you took my car WITH a full tank of gas. Better be back on full when it returns in this driveway.’

‘Whateva, have my dinner waiting for me on the table when I get home.’

‘Bye Shawn.’ I closed my phone but just as soon as I did I had an incoming call from Fredrick Douglas Preschool, which is the school Tierra attends. I never got calls from them unless I had to come pick her up for either cursing out the students or pouring milk down somebody’s dress, and I don’t think she’ll be doing that again after the ass beating I gave her yesterday. My mind started thinking the worst and my heart felt like it was beating 100 beats per minute.

“Oh God.” I said before pressing the green button on my sidekick, “Hello?”

“Yes, is this Ms. Carter?”

“Yes ma’am it is, is there a problem at the school?”

“Yes Ms. Carter there is. During recess today Tierra was climbing the monkey bars, she climbed all the way to the top without an adult nearby and she jumped ma’am. I heard kids yelling and crying and I ran outside to the playground and blood was all over the place and she was unconscious. She’s being rushed to the hospital right now as we speak-“ That was the last I heard before I hung up in the woman’s face and raced to my the car, my mind was in no state to think about the rules and laws of the road. All I had was one thing on my mind and that was my baby.
--
“Where is she?” I yelled running into the hospital but got no answers. “Where the Fuck is my daughter? Before I blow this mother Fuckin’ place the hell up!!!” That’s when I got quick reactions, see you gotta know how to talk to these stuck up white folk that act like they don’t give a damn who you are.

“Ma’am please calm down.”

“Get the Fuck out my way. Can I get a doctor, nurse some got damn body.” A young looking white female rushed to my side. “You look like you got some kinda sense. Can you please tell me where my daughter is?”

“Is her name Tierra Carter?”

“Yes that’s her.”

“She was just rushed to the operating room ma’am, and I’m not sure when they will be done but you are more than welcome to have a seat and wait.” Unwillingly I sat down trying to be as civilized as possible and called Shawn. Him being the father that he is to these girls dropped what he was doing and rushed to the hospital, in what may have been a 30 minute drive turned into a 10 minute drive.

“Beyonce!” He yelled and I got up and ran into his arms and he held me so tight that I wish when he let go everything would be undone and perfect. “Baby what happened?” Once he noticed not one word could escape from my mouth and only tears could speak he cradled me into his arms and sat down. “Look at me.” He cupped my chin in his hand and with the other he brushed the hair out of my face. “She’s a Carter and she’s a soulja just like her mother trust me she aint gone give up…” His voice cracked and a single tear escaped from his big brown eyes and the rest followed suit, “She aint gone give up.”

After what seemed like 2 hours but in reality was only 45 minutes family started to show up. I don’t who took it harder out of everybody, me, Shawn, Tasha, or Kelly. We didn’t even have to know what her condition was; just the thought of our lil princess being in a hospital on bad terms was enough to bring our waterworks. Shawn and I have been here for almost an hour and no one has said anything to us since we’ve been here. I know an operation takes more than one hour but the doctors also have to think about the wondering and confused minds of the family members.

“Where da Fuck is they?” Shawn said angrily jumping out of his seat.

“Ay Shawn it’s gone be aight, we all know lil mama is a soulja aint no denying that so just chill aight.” TyTy said trying his best to calm him down. I didn’t bother to because I knew that nobody in this room could possibly feel the same way he and I were. Yea they were aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and grandparents but for your own offspring to be placed in such a critical predicament gives it a whole other ordeal. He quietly sat down with his face buried in his hands and I gently rubbed his back. I can’t even say that I was in a perfect mind state, I kept having flashbacks of the past.

The first day I found out that I was pregnant with TiTi I wanted to cry and immediately the word abortion came to mind, but quickly disappeared once I realized the baby had nothing to do with what went on in between the sheets. Shawn and I were just about to settle for divorce during our difficult separation, but once we found out that I was pregnant decided to hang on for the sake of the baby. It obviously didn’t last long because shortly after my pregnancy (2 years) divorce papers were sent to his home by my lawyer, and the divorce was settled in less than 2 months.

“Family of Tierra Carter?” A doctor said as we all quickly stood up and he walked towards us with not really any type of emotion on his face to give us the slightest hint of her condition.

“Doctor is she okay?” Kelly asked as I held her in my arms caressing her back with my hand.

He looked down for a second and then brought his eyes to meet ours, “No. Her condition is something I’ve never seen from a simple fall off of the monkey bars. It’s quite severe, the operation doesn’t look too good either but we’re doing all that we could possibly do. When she fell she had to have landed directly on her head because a very sensitive brain cell was triggered and the reaction caused blood clots in her brain, causing her to lose tons of blood during the operation. The only thing that could save this child’s life is blood… from her biological father.”

“Right here. Take whatever you need, blood, my brain just take whatever. As long as my baby girl comes out alright.”

“Alright follow me; let’s take you to the lab.” Shawn gave me a deep kiss on the lips before leaving with the doctor and we all watched as the only hope walked away.

Right about now my whole life was coming to a complete stop. My heart felt like no longer beating and my blood felt like no longer flowing. How could everything be so perfect but in less than 10 minutes it’s snatched right from underneath you leaving you to fall straight on your black ass? And that’s exactly how the devil reacts to a celebration, he ruins it in every way, shape and form. But maybe this was God’s punishment in some sort of way, because I refused to get as close to him as I should’ve. I took him for granted, I didn’t want to give him the praise but I always expected my blessing and he gave it to me.

--
“How’d it go?” I asked him as he came and took a seat next to me 20 minutes later.

“I hoping good, got the blood he needed and told me to drink plenty of water.” His mind was somewhere else and I could tell just by the way he spoke. My gut was telling me his guilty conscious took over and made him feel accountable for the mishaps that happened today. I grabbed a hold of his hand and intertwined our fingers together making a pattern, letting him know that are now one. He’s prince charming, my angel, my king and my friend… he’s my lover and my one and the both of us were going to get through this together.

45 minutes later

The doctor came run running out with a paper in his hand and his lab jacket flowing in the wind, “This isn’t looking good at all.” He stated with fear dripping in every word, and the expression on his face let us all know this wasn’t a good look at all.

“But I thought you said if the biological father gave blood you could save her!” Shawn almost screamed.

“And I thought so too but you’re not a match…” The room froze, “You’re not her biological father.”

Sat May 15, 2021 7:34 pm

CHAPTER 19
SHAWN’S P0V
“CRY 0F PAIN”

“But I thought you said if the biological father gave blood you could save her!” Shawn almost screamed.

“And I thought so too but you’re not a match…” The room froze, “You’re not her biological father.”

“Nah, I think you should go run those tests a couple more times Doc. That child is mines!” I wanted to give Beyonce the benefit of my doubt and suggest that the test be ran over, even though my gut was telling me nothing was wrong with the results.

“Mr. Carter I ran the test five times already.” My blood boiled and I swear to God if I never promised myself that I would never hit a woman again, I would’ve smacked the shit out of Beyonce. The room fell silent and all eyes were on me waiting for my reaction, “I’ll uhh, let you guys talk but we do need answers if this operation fails.” He walked away probably just as confused as I was.

I couldn’t tell you the last time I cried but it felt brand new to my eyes as they stung so badly as the salt water liquid escaped. I turned to face the woman that I loved and her eyes were identical to mines. “Did you know?” I asked barely above a whisper.

She shook her head, “No… I swear I didn’t.”

I smirked in her face and leaned over her shoulder and whispered in her ear, “You Fuckin’ disgust me.” I spat coldly at her. With that I left the building, word must’ve gotten out that we were up here because paps were outside snapping shots as I walked to my car with my NY fitted hanging low over my blood shot eyes.

Driving with no destination, my mind was going crazy with a million thoughts running. Yea, we were separated when I found out she was pregnant with TiTi… but we were still married. The fact that she cheated on me isn’t the part that bothered me because I was sleepin’ around on her too, but the fact that she wasn’t smart enough to do it with some sense and with protection and then three years later I find out that one of the two daughters whom I love with all of my heart isn’t mines… is straight up dirty. Now the two questions that pondered through my mind were, is Tasha mines? Is this unborn child even mines?

I ended up at our home, entering the gates with the our initials on them… (SB). I guess it stands for Stupid Beyonce, now. I’ve tried so hard to make this work and to become a better man and father. I gave up things and made sacrifices to still be that man of her dreams, and it worked out for the better. But when something this bad occurs in your life, it outweighs all of the good! Just to know that another man had the privilege to get in between my wife’s legs and help make such a beautiful seed, angers me and gives me thoughts of a whole new perspective.
The love that I have for this women goes deeper than my heart and burns within my soul, it gives me a reason to live another day… but the pain and betrayal that I feel won’t let me stay.

- - - -

The sun had disappeared and the only light that was in the house was from the moon’s bright glow, as I sat contemplating on the couch. Most of my belongings were packed and sitting by the front door in suitcases. I want to be apart of my children’s life but… things change.

At 10:00 pm Beyonce came walking in the house unaware of my presence but I’m sure she saw the bags. She walked right past me unable to see me in the unlit home; she walked in the kitchen and turned on the light. She wasn’t able to see me but I saw her perfectly. She removed her shades and placed them on top of her head, her hair was now in a messy bun… but nonetheless was she the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life. “Beyonce.” I called out in a low but firm tone.

“What Shawn?” She said coldly. She was just as stubborn as I was and that was only going to make things worse.

“C’mere.”

“I don’t have time for games, I came back to get some clothes for Tasha and I to stay at the hospital. Your bags are packed so why don’t you just leave?” That’s what she was saying but I know damn well that’s not what she was feeling. “You promised… you promised you wouldn’t leave no matter what!!” Tears were streaming down her face, and her voice was cracking, “I guess that was just a big bag of bullshit!”

“How am I supposed to feel? Huh Bee?” We were standing face to face, angry tears flowing from my eyes and painful tears flowing from hers. “That’s just like taking a man’s dignity away, do you not know how happy I was to know that I helped make our second child. And three years later to find out that my little princess wasn’t even made by my sperm… Now that’s a big Fuckin’ bag of bullshit!” We were screaming back and forth to one another which wasn’t really solving anything but it sure as hell made me get my point across. “You stepped out on me!”

“And you never stepped out on me?”

“Yea I did!! Never said I didn’t, but you stepped out and had a child. And now she’s at the hospital helpless with a only hope of this operation falling through, and I’m not intentionally blaming you. But if it quacks like a duck, looks like a duck… it’s a duck.”

As she stood in front of me, tears streaming down her cheeks, I wanted to hold her in my arms and kiss her tears away. But I couldn’t feel sorry for her when I’m the one hurting also; I guess you could call it that ‘Carter Pride’. “So is this baby mines?” I asked nonchalantly pointing to her stomach.

“Are you seriously going to even f.i.x your mouth to ask that?”

“I’ll take that as a rhetorical question.”

“Yea Shawn it’s yours okay. But if you wanna know why I did it, it was because I wanted to see what you found so amusing and pleasurable with sleeping with other people and not your own wife. And I didn’t find a damn thing pleasurable.”

“You must’ve to let that nigga bust inside ya!”

“Shawn that’s not the point.” She screamed at me on the verge of a breakdown. “I…I...I don’t have any time for any games baby. What was found out today wasn’t a secret that I was hiding, I knew there was a possibility, but ignored it. So either you’re going to stay here, or you’re going to leave. But let me tell you somethin’, once you walk through those doors with suitcases in your hands… don’t turn back. I’m not going to play high school games, either you’re here… or… your not.” She looked down at her wedding ring, which she still wore even through our divorce. “I’ll let you know when me and Tasha’s next appointments are, if you decide not to come… more power to you.”

“You’re just too stubborn for your own good.”

“Well I guess that makes two of us.”

“Yea, whatever. Look you can have the house; it’s already paid for if you want me to take care of the bills I will.”

“I’m not dependent on you Shawn! Did you forget that I was making it pretty damn good without you? I’m a grown ass woman I don’t need for you to take care of me.”

“Well I guess this takes us back to square one.” I stated meaning back to how things used to be between the two of us, arguing, fussing, and fighting… all the time. She shrugged her shoulders and I pulled her into a tight hug, surprisingly she hugged me back just as tight. I gave her a kiss on the head and walked away, retrieving my bags on the way out. “Oh yea, I filled you up with a full tank of gas.” I chuckled, and she playfully rolled her eyes. I tossed her, her keys and tossed me mines.

I drove around with the windows down, letting the cool night Los Angeles breeze hit against my face as I cruised on the busy streets. Flashbacks of the times Beyonce and I were on somewhat good-terms pondered my mind.

FLASHBACK
(BEY0NCE’S P0V)

“Eh you can ask then maybe, just maybe you can get some type of reaction.” I said full of attitude.

“Alright Beyonce, can you come on please?” I gave him a fake smile and told everybody that I would be right back. I slid on my flip-flops and walked behind him, well he sort of left me. Pizza hut was like right down the street so he decided to walk. It was way too hot for this shit. I don’t know why he is tripping so hard. When we got there he held the door open for me and I walked past him without saying thank you, “Rude ass.” He whispered standing next to me in line.

“You’re the one to talk.” I said sarcastically. He put his arm around my shoulder and I moved it, “Don’t touch me.” I said kind of loud, shit it wasn’t nobody in there besides this old white couple standing in front of us and probably had no clue as to who we were in the first place.

“I can’t touch you?”

“Nope.” I said crossing my arms and staring straight ahead. He stood in front of me smiling hoping to get a smile out of me. I felt one coming so I turned the other way. He kept moving his head to where I kept moving mines. “Stop Shawn.” I whined pushing him in his chest.

“I thought I was Jay Z?”

“Your personality changes.”

“I’m sorry.” He said pulling me into a hug, but I didn’t hug him back, “I’m gonna keep on hugging you till you hug me back.” We stood there for a good minute and I decided to hug him back so he would move. “Thank you, just for taking that long I’m not moving.”

“Shawn!” I whined again.

“That’s where our kids get that whining shit from. But yo ass shouldn’t have taken so long.” I laughed to myself and held him, as it was our turn to go up to the counter and order.

“Shawn let go.” I said trying to push him off of me but he wasn’t letting go so I just gave up. He leaned me against the counter so he was facing the cashier and my back was facing her.

“Hi can I get…. Bee how many pizzas do you think we need?” He said looking down at me, I shrugged and just gave him a number.

“Get like, uh damn it’s a lot of people. Get 15 large pizzas.”

“Can I get 15 large pizzas?”

“Sure can sir. What kind of toppings?”

“TiTi likes Pepperoni.” I said to him.

“13 pepperoni and 2 sausage please.”

“Your total is $74.98.” I couldn’t tell how he paid for it because he did it discreetly.

“Don’t be tryna hide it.” He looked down at me and smiled, he bent down and gave me a peck on the lips. I hugged him even tighter.

Something was happening to me every time I got alone with this man. It’s like I was slowly falling in love, but I wanted to convince myself that it was lust. Whenever he kissed me I didn’t want him to stop, his lips and mines put together was like magic. Wait hold up a second Bee, this is your ex husband. The nigga that cheated on you multiple times, the same nigga that left you at home taking care of yall kids, the same nigga that slapped you, the same nigga that broke your heart and he was that same nigga that is stealing your heart again. Shit what the fcuk am I supposed to do?

“Sir would you like us to bring the pizzas down to you?” The lady asked.

“You sure?” He asked.

“Yea, it’s going to take like 45 minutes and it’s a lot to carry. Are yall at the beach?”

“Yea you’ll see us. It’s a grip of black people. And you’ll see a black man with gray hair sitting under an umbrella table with flip-flops on…. Yea that man is her daddy!” He said trying to joke.

“Okay thanks.” She said laughing. I hit him in his chest for talking about my daddy like that.

“You know I’m just playing girl.” He said letting me go and putting his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s not go back right now.”

“Why not?” He bent down and gave me a long peck on the lips, “Hmm.” I said moaning.

He chuckled, “That’s why.” He said staring into my eyes biting down on his lip. He leaned down again and kissed me. This time it was a nice long passionate kiss; he slid his tongue in my mouth and our tongues intertwined. I felt myself getting more and more into it and I knew damn well he was because I felt him.

“Wait.” I said pushing him back by his chest. “We can’t do this.”

“Why cause you my ex wife? Or because you don’t want to fall back in love with me, even though you already are?”

“Let’s just go.” I said grabbing his arm and holding it as we walked in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was more of we were both thinking silence. We both felt it, but I knew for a fact that I was too scared to admit it.

END 0F FLASHBACK.

“I went through all of that trouble to get her back into my life and now look at, all alone again.” I said talking to Bleek at his home.

“I swear you make single niggas like myself wanna beat yo ass. You had the hottest chick alive my nigga, I mean every nigga I knew wanted to bone her ass.” He laughed and took a sip of his beer, “Now you aint even ‘bout to be tappin’ dat no more.”

“Bleek I swear you a fool. Aight, what you would you do if you just found out that your girlfriend/ex wife cheated on you three years ago… and got pregnant?”

“See me being the person that I am, I would probably go smoke a blunt some crack or somethin… Nahh mean? But since you done turned good guy on me you wouldn’t pull some shit like that, I would still love that child no matter what me and the mother are goin’ through, you’re all TiTi knows and loves. She don’t give a Fuck ‘bout that other nigga, she loves you, Shawn Carter, her daddy. Love TiTi just like you love Tasha, don’t go back to how things used to be with them, you gone be a grandpa my dude… you gonna need to be there. You bout to be a father to 3, a granddaddy to one, all at the age of 34… Ion’t know how you do it, but you the man my nigga!” He said dapping me up.

“You a crazy ass you know that? But you my boy.”

Sat May 15, 2021 7:34 pm

CHAPTER 20
BEY0NCE’S P0V
The next morning
“We gotta stay strong.”

The last thing on my mind while sitting in this hospital room was Shawn and our relationship. My three-year-old daughter lay in a bed before me as we all prayed to God that she would soon wake up and be all right. If the operation failed then that was it, I couldn’t even think to remember who the guy was, I was drinking that night and when I start drinking I forget everything that happened that night. I was hoping and wishing that everyone else was praying as well because I wasn’t sure if God would answer my prayers any more, he gave me a lot of chances and I think I ran out.

“Mom are you okay?” Tasha asked as she watched me think off into space.

“Huh sweetie?” I asked rubbing my hand across her fairly light complexioned face, a little lighter than usual due to the lack of wanting to put make up on in this time of grief.

“Are you okay?” I knew was concerned about her dad and I, but there was nothing to be concerned about. We were done, but I wouldn’t dare tell her that right away she was already under a lot of stress with the tabloids and her sister that I didn’t want any complications with her pregnancy.

“Yea, baby I’m fine I promise.” I reassured her but I knew she didn’t believe me, not well enough to leave my side. She laid her head on my shoulder and I ran my fingers through her hair as we watched TiTi sleep peacefully and listen to her heart monitor. I felt a tear fall on my arm and it came from Tasha’s watery eyes, “We gotta stay strong.”

Tears formed in my eyes but I refused to let them fall, I needed to be strong for my daughters. Not once did they see me cry when Shawn and I weren’t together and they weren’t used to see me cry, I was the one to stand my ground, so they thought. But I cried almost every night wishing that things would get better and things did. But it obviously didn’t last too long. Now my eyes were covered with a shade of watery gloss leaving me with a blurred vision of both what was in front of me and what was ahead of me for my future.

I was so caught up in trying to hold my tears in that I didn’t even realize that TiTi started to stir a bit. “Ma I think TiTi’s waking up!” Tasha said rising up out of her seat and I followed and stood by her bedside with Tasha standing nearby. “I’ll go get the doctor!” She said walking out of the room and I stared at TiTi as if she were an experiment new to scientists and undiscovered by many countries. The tears that I was trying to hold in for so long fell once I saw the same coming from Tierra’s closed eyes and rolling down to her cheek.

She whined and stirred but never opened her eyes, but I knew she awake. Just then the doctors came rushing in the room with smiles on each of their faces, proud of their operation.

“Ms. Carter she’s definitely awake!” Dr. Mahogonay said cheerfully as he checked her pulse. She got quiet and went right back to sleep, peacefully, and quietly with her chest normally heaving in and out. “Well we’ll keep checking in on her, if you see anything abnormal let us know immediately.”

“Thanks Doctor.” I said relieved.

“And don’t worry, we’re not saying a word to the media, they’ve been calling up here all last night and morning.” I gave him a slight chuckle remembering my status in the celebrity world and the nosy media. The things they go through just to get into someone’s personal life.

“Thank you so much, they could be a hassle.” He raised his eyebrow to indicate they were more than just a hassle, and left the room. “I’m sorry Tasha.” I said quickly letting the smile disappear. She looked at me confused and her smile quickly faded as well.

“Sorry for what?”

“For all of this, I don’t know if the truth finally coming out hurt you in any type of way and if it did I’m sorry. If I‘d known I would never hold this in as a secret from everybody. I would never hurt you or your dad…” She cut me off with a warm, tight, well needed hug. I cried on her shoulder as she whispered soothing words to me, and you would think she’s the mother the way she was comforting and holding me.

“I’m definitely not the one to judge mom or get mad. Look at me, I’m fifteen and pregnant. You didn’t get mad at me, disappointed yes. But you never gave up on me, you’re there every time I need you. Even when I was a complete b.i.t.ch. towards you, you loved me, you loved me unconditionally!” She paused to wipe away my fallen tears, “No matter what happens mama, we gotta stay strong!”

- -

“Shawn been by here yet?” My mom asked as we all sat in the room awaiting for TiTi’s awake.

“Nope.” I answered, “Haven’t talked to him since last night.” I said as my voice started to crack.

“Don’t worry Bee, he’ll come through just give him some time to take all of this in.” My mom said. She always had faith in Shawn; she knew his heart probably more than I did. The room was nice and peaceful, no grudges, and no hatred just pure silence.

The door opened and the couple that I played counselor to came walking in, “Hey b.itches!” Solange said sharing her bittersweet love around the room.

“Solange, please. It’s too early in the morning to hear all that darn cursing!” My momma said already annoyed with her presence.

“Okay momma dang!! Hey niecy pooh!” She said giving Tasha a kiss and a rub on her belly, “How you doin’ big sis?” She said sitting on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Umm, I’m alright. Where’s my nephew at?” I said raising my left eyebrow, my left meant I was going to get upset and the right meant I was either surprised or shocked.

“Calm down Bee, he’s with his daddy. Enough about me let’s step outside and talk about these Carter issues.” I sighed and she stood up walking out of the room door and I followed close behind shutting the door behind me. We walked to the lobby where it was vacant and that way we could freely talk without ear hustlers. “So just like that you and Shawn are done? After all yall went through to get together, you guys called it quits? Just like that huh?” She said with a snap of her finger and I could tell she was beyond upset.

“Wait Solo! I came home and he packed his bags. He decided to leave I didn’t quit anything! He’s a grown ass man I can’t make him stay where he doesn’t want to!”

“I know and that’s why it pains me to see you like this, every time somebody is having relationship problems you’re the person that they call for assistance. When TyTy and Kelly were having trust issues you’re who they called, when I was enjoying my player days you calmed my ass down and showed me that I had a great man waiting at my front door, I just needed to answer and look at us now. Happy, I can’t even tell you the last time I’ve been this content with a man and all because of you. So now it’s my turn to help you.” A tear escaped from her eyes and she held on tightly to my hands while sitting in front of me, “You and Shawn are destined to be together, not only for those kids but because I’m convinced to believe that you are the only woman he could ever love, and he’s the only man you could ever love. So why not stick together?” Her eyes traveled from me to a figure standing behind me; from the scent of the cologne I knew it was Shawn.

“His love for me isn’t strong enough to keep us together.” I said aware that he heard.

“Not that my love isn’t strong enough, my trust for you isn’t strong enough to keep us together. My love for you never died and never will. I love you more than I love my music, and we all know music means the world to me…”

“Love is so easy to say, but so hard to define.” I said quickly cutting him off and he got quiet.

“Well how do you want me to define it for you? By staying with you?”

I stood up to finally face him instead of him talking to my back, “Shawn I don’t need for you to stay with me, I’m a grown ass woman and I can support myself…I want you to stay in these kids lives, Tierra’s too.”

He looked at me as if I had just spoken some type of foreign language and left, walking down the hallway to TiTi’s room. “Yall need counseling.” Solange stated with all seriousness and I couldn’t agree with her more, we did, if not counseling we needed prayer. We made our way back to the room and everyone was quiet, just like it’s been all last night and all morning. I sat in the chair next to TiTi’s bedside and Shawn sat in the chair on the opposite side.

“When is she going to wake up again?” Shawn asked studying her, as she was sound asleep.

“I don’t know.” I answered simply.

“Daddy!” TiTi cried out and slowly opened her eyes after hearing her father’s voice. A huge smile appeared across his face as if he was a kid in a candy store, “Daddy!” She cried again, but this time reaching her arms out to hug him.

“Daddy’s right here babygirl,” he said happily and kissed her hands. “I’m right here.” A tear escaped from his eyes and I knew he was proud to hear her say that. She was a daddy’s girl indeed and he loved every bit of it. Seeing how close they were almost brought tears to my eyes, he loved that lil girl no matter what any test could say and vice versa, in my book he is her father.

Tears and happiness became contagious all around the room and next thing you know we’re back to the old family again, talkative, cursing (from Solange) and arguing. Even TiTi was laughing and her laugh alone lifted up everybody’s spirits and brought laughter to everyone’s conversation. Shawn and I didn’t say much to each other but every once in a while we would find ourselves staring at one another and turning the opposite direction after realizing that we were supposed to be upset.

“Oh my gosh, Solange you’re sayin’ I’m lying to your parents?” Marquez asked Solo as she sat comfortably on his lap.

“Nooo, I’m not saying that you’re lying. It’s just not the whole truth!” She said innocently and we all laughed at her trying to act like a little girl. I don’t know how Marquez deals with her crazy ass, but you could tell that they were slowly falling in love with each other.

“Baby.” Shawn said and I slowly turned my head towards him in shock, “let’s go talk.” I stood up and he waited for me by the door.

“What do you wanna talk about?” I asked as he closed the door behind us.

“Look, I don’t wanna lose this relationship, so we gotta stay strong, I don’t wanna move on. I did you wrong, you did me wrong, I’ll take you back if you take me back. We put in too much time, and aint no need to waist any time. The easiest thing for me to do is for you to leave and that’s what I did because I was hurt not realizing that I wasn’t the only one hurt, my decision hurt you also. So instead of fussin’ and fighting I’m willing to work it out, but we gotta stick it out and at the end of the day we’ll be stronger as individuals and as one.” He said all in one breath, leaving me breathless at how sensible and serious he sounded. “Girl I love you, and with them that was lust, it shouldn’t have happened and I know I messed up but we both did things in our past that we obviously want to be forgiven for. So no more secrets between us.”

“No more secrets.” I said grabbing his hand and holding it tightly in minds. “I’m sorry, I had no idea and if I did I would’ve told you.”

“I know, I was just mad and all different types of emotions all at once and I left because I was scared. But I’m here now and I’m not goin’ no where, that’s a promise that I can put on my life.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” I said bringing his face closer to mines and he placed a soft, sensual, deep and tender kiss on my glossed lips.

“I love you.” He said resting his forehead against mines and rubbing his hand softly over my cheek.

“I love you too baby.”

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- -
3 weeks later.
“Shawn!!!!” I screamed over his loud music. It was too damn late for all of his friends and co-workers to be over here trying to have a party, people had work in the morning and hormones knocking off the walls.

“Wats up baby?” he said meeting me at the bottom of the stairs with a corona in his hand. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and kissed my forehead allowing his liquored down breath to escape to my nostrils.

“The music is so loud.” I whined to him, by now he was used to the whining coming from Tasha, teenage whining combined with hormone whining had to be the worst on his part.

“I’ll tell the guys to turn it down a bit.” He promised and I nodded my head.

“Let me have a sip!”

“Girl I’m tipsy but not stupid, go get some water or something.” I envied him to the fullest, I used to drink until I got drunk but right now I just wanted a small glass of wine, but not with Mr. Carter living. He refused to even let me think about having a sip, afraid of any birth defects.

“Kiss my ass.”

“Trust I will be tappin’ that tonight!” He said walking away like a drunken man and I walked back upstairs laughing to myself.

“Mommy.” Tierra yelled running down the hallway with Julez following close behind.

“Stop that running you two.” I warned, after just two weeks she was back to her normal self. She had a few things she couldn’t remember but it wasn’t too long before everything clicked back into shape. “What do you want?” I asked running my hands through their fully head of curly hair as they latched on to my legs.

“Ice cream.” Tierra said pulling off that smile that got to everyone every time she wanted something and it ended up the exact way she wanted.

“Child it’s 10:00 at night, yall need to be going to bed and not thinking about ice cream. That’s just going to make you guys hyper and we all know what happens when the both of you get too much sugar in your system!”

“Auntie BeeBee, we won’t jump on the bed!”

“And we won’t break anything.” They said pouting and their bottom lip poked out.

“Nope, sorry guys. Hit the tub and then to bed you go!” They whined and mumbled all the way to TiTi’s bedroom and slammed the door, a habit she picked up from Tasha. I walked to that oldest daughter of mines room where her and Shaquel were having some “quality” time. They weren’t officially a couple but you could definitely see the spark between them, and he actually changed his ways for her and their child.

“Hey mom!”

“Hey babygirl just was checking on you two. I apologize for the loud music you’re father finally got a life.” We all chuckled and I closed the door behind me giving them time to talk.

TASHA’S P0V
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“How long before the semester starts?” I asked him as he massaged my feet.

“Uhh next weekend my dad and I are flying out to Florida to visit the campus and check on everything, then one week after that I’m leaving for good.” He noticed the change in my attitude; I didn’t want to see him leave especially after we were so close. “Baby don’t, you know I’m gonna be back every month to visit you and call you everyday and chance that I get!”

“I know its just going to be different, I just hope things don’t change.”

“Change is always good, but if you’re thinking about my feelings for you changing… you could forget about it.” He kissed my lips softly. “I want you to be with me for the rest of my life.”

“So are you asking me or telling me to be with you?”

“I’m asking and hoping that you could gradually accept this invitation.”

I paused for a second thinking about all the fun we could have raising a child together and being together as one, “I accept.” I said and kissed his full lips, ready to conquer any battles that are set ahead… together.

Sat May 15, 2021 7:35 pm

CHAPTER 21
S0LANGE’S P0V
2 WEEKS LATER
(LATE AUGUST)
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“Julez!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. He’s slowly becoming his father with this depending on me to do everything! He’s only 2 years old but he’s a very mouthy and smart two-year-old, meaning he needs to clean up after himself.

“What mommy?” He yelled from his bedroom.

“C’mere now!” He had his toys everywhere, in every single room, the kitchen, hell even my room and that’s off limits to him especially when Marquez is here. “Julez what did I tell you about leaving your toys all around the house?” I asked with my hands on my hips and eyebrow raised, a young clone of my momma… scary shit.

“I dunno?” I was about two seconds away from making him remember but those damn gray eyes of his calmed my anger.

“Ugh. Okay well just pick up all of these toys, from everywhere! And don’t think I’m buying you anymore toys until Christmas, and that’s on my momma.” He started pouting, “Boy f.ix ya lip and pick up these toys… it’s too early in the damn morning to deal with that mess.” I went to my room to take a nice warm bubble bath and left him cleaning up the chaos that he created.

“Mommy!!!!!”

I silently cried to myself, you would think I was a mother to five children. Quiet was a never in my house unless he was sleeping or sick, the noise between Julez, TiTi and Marquez seriously made you want to just walk out of the house. “Yes son?” I yelled so he could hear me on the other side of the door.

“Da phone!”

“Bring it to me!” He opened the door and handed it to me, thing is I didn’t hear the phone ring. “Go finish… hello?” I said once he closed the door after him.

“Ay girl don’t be yelling at him like that.” Marquez sweetly said instantly sending a grin on my face.

“I was not yelling at him!”

“Why he come calling me saying that you told him you not buying him anymore toys until Christmas.” That damn snitch. “What I tell you about that huh?”

“Nigga who you talking to? He needs to learn how to pick up after himself, I’m not molly the maid.”

“Yea whatever, I’m coming to pick him up around 3 so have him dressed for me. I’m taking him and TiTi to the park to play basketball.”

“Hmm, please and thank you!! He’ll be ready by two. Don’t be late.” I said and hung up in his face and continued my bath before I was interrupted with bull crap. “Julez hurry up so I can get you up outta here ‘fore you drive me crazy!!!”

SHAWN’S P0V
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“Good morning fat-fat.” I said to Bee as she came walking in the kitchen with her pajama pants on and a wife beater that was on the verge of too small due to her belly, it wasn’t big but it was definitely not the Beyonce we were all used to seeing in bikinis.

“Don’t make me cut yo black ass, I told you about that damn nickname!” She said grabbing a fork and sitting in the chair next to mines. A mean ass she was nowadays, both her and Tasha… but she was rarely home for me to hear her b.itch and wine. Beyonce was at home too much. hehe.

“Whoa all of that cursing, that’s definitely not good for the baby!” She glared at me and jammed her fork into my plate, “Whoooaaaaa!! What the hell are you doing? These are my pancakes, I woke specifically at 11 so I wouldn’t have to deal with all of the greediness in this house.”

“Baby!” She whined, but nah buddy I wasn’t falling for it this time. I woke up early hoping to eat in peace without Tasha and Bee greedy asses waking up and begging for my food, and that’s exactly what I was getting.

“Baby my foot, if you gone eat some at least ask.” She sat back and crossed her arms across her chest. “Here you big baby.” I only gave in cause I love that woman otherwise she would’ve sat there and watched me eat my damn food.

“You play too much, go to the studio or somethin’ you getting on my nerves.” Stingily she took my plate and walked back to our bedroom.

“Nah bay, I was eating that… go ahead you can have em!” I said sarcastically. There I was left, with no food, no good morning kiss, feeling played. “Yep. Baby I feel played!!”

“As you should!” She yelled and I ran after her, “C’mon quit playing.” She laughed as I attacked her on the bed, “Watch the pancakes babe.”

“See I don’t understand you, most pregnant women would be like ‘watch my stomach’ nah you saying watch the pancakes. You’re about to be three months pregnant and you eating enough to feed Africa. I’m gone be the one you blame when you can’t lose all that baby weight.”

“Well duh, who else am I supposed to blame? Myself?” She said stuffing a stack of pancakes in her mouth and I shook my head.

“Well I’m just saying what most pregnant women do… blame they baby’s daddy.”

“Well I’m not most pregnant women, nigga I’m Beyonce Giselle Carter! Fuck with it.” I laughed at her arrogance.

“Your too much.” I rubbed her belly, “Marquez is coming by to pick up TiTi and take her and Julez to the basketball courts at the park later on…” She looked at me like I was about crazy.

“My daughter does not play basketball.” She chuckled.

“Bee you can’t tell her she can’t play ball, it’s a girl sport too!” I said nibbling on her earlobe. “Let the girl play.”

“Why so she can be some hard core nigga and beat my ass, I don’t think so. And I’m sure you’re encouraging every second of it.” She said aggressively shoving me away from her. “I’d much rather her dress in a skirt and booty shorts then some baggy ass jeans and basketball shorts.”

“You can dress like a girl and play ball, look at Candace Parker fine ass. Ass just jiggling when she going for that lay up… hmm God is good.” I said biting my bottom lip and shaking my head, “Girl don’t make no sense.”

“I don’t even know the hoe and iont like her already… why don’t you go be with Ms. Parker then?”

“C’mon baby it was just a joke.”

“Nah, you were serious.” She said pushing my hand away from her thigh, “It’s okay cause Allen Iverson could get this shit any day.” She said pointing to my dessert. “Got that nigga on speed dial… he’s my number one!” She laughed to herself but I wasn’t. “It’s not funny is it?”

“Nah that shit aint funny. Watchu mean you got him on speed dial? You shouldn’t even have his number.” I said getting defensive. “Give me a kiss ‘fore I kill somebody.” She laughed and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips.

“I’d still let Allen Iverson hit though…” She whispered in my mouth.

“BEE!!!!”

“I’m just playing baby.” She said brining my face back to hers.

BEY0NCE’S P0V

Shawn and Marquez done lost they damn mind! I knew they were crazy as hell when they put their minds together, but to take away my baby girl and introduce her to one of the roughest sports out there wasn’t happening.

“Hey momma’s baby!” I said giving her a hug as I entered her room.

“Hey mom.”

“Word around town is that you’re going to play basketball with Julez and Marquez today… any truth to that?”

“Yep!” She said excited and I knew there was no turning around.

“So what about all these Barbies that you had me buying lil girl? You trading them in for a basketball?” She hopped in my lap and played with my hair.

“I can give em away.” She said shrugging her shoulders.

“Ugh, you suck lil girl. Give me a kiss.” I said poking out my lips and she kissed them, “Just please don’t get hurt, do that for me okay?”

“I try.” I smiled to myself and walked out of her room and back into mines. Shawn had this stupid ass smile on his face.

“What are you smiling for?” He pointed to the television that had been mounted on the wall.

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“Rapper mogul Jay- Z and Fashion designer Beyonce are expecting both a child and a grandchild from 15-year-old daughter, Tasha Carter. What type of image are they setting for their fans? Close family friend Kelly Rowland has the answer.” I smirked at the last sentence, what type of image? A damn good one if you ask me, shit we all stuck together.

A smile appeared once I saw a woman appear that I love so much and admire, “You know I’ve been friends with Beyonce since we were teenagers and I don’t think that her image changed, I mean she’s still the same woman I met 17 years ago. Her being pregnant shouldn’t even be an issue; she has two children already what’s the big deal now? That’s my sister and I’m going to love her regardless… Love you My Bee!” Kelly yelled in the mic and Shawn turned the television off.

“I swear I love that b.itch!”

“Babe what I say about all that cursing?”

“Shawn the baby can’t hear a damn thing I say, shut up!!”

“Okay when our child’s first word is b.itch don’t say it didn’t come from you.”

“I will be honored!” I bragged and headed to my side of the bathroom to shower, “Can you get TiTi dressed in those nigga clothes?”

“I’ll be honored.” He said with a grin causing me to get upset, for one he used my line and two he’s not even helping at all.

- -

“Momma your birthday is coming up… what do you wanna do?” Tasha asked sitting in the passenger seat of my Benz. I decided to do a little shopping, hopefully for Tierra and maybe, just maybe she would change her mind about basketball aka the physical sport.

“Hmmm, world peace.” I said sticking a fry in my mouth. “What I’m serious!”

“C’mon momma let’s be foreal, something that maybe you’re family can do for you…”

“Okay, okay.” I turned the radio down, “Umm maybe a nice little get together with family and close friends at the house. Or maybe I’ll just fly myself to New York and have some mommy time! Doesn’t that sound good?”

“No.” She said rolling her eyes and I chuckled, “The first part sounded cool, the second part… uhh not so much. Maybe we should all go as a family, me of course, you, daddy and TiTi. That would be fun huh?”

“Now that I think about it… no that wouldn’t be.” We both laughed, “I’ll think about it, I’m only turning thirty-four though, not a great number.”

“Yep. Six years away from forty… how does it feel to be so close to being a senior citizen?” She asked holding a pretend microphone in front of my face, it just happened to be her hamburger so I took a bite, “And so greedy.”

“Do you wanna see…” I looked at my cell phone and it was 4:59, “Do you wanna see 5:00?” She nodded her head, “Then how bout we don’t talk about my age.”

“I was just trying to help you be more confident with your age…. But maybe not then.”

“Whatever child… get out before I throw you out.” I said as I parked in front of Chanel. “Do you think TiTi would wear these?” I pointed to a pair of 18K pink gold Chanel earrings.

“Ma is you freaking serious? You would buy a three-year-old a pair of two thousand dollar earrings, just so she could lose them?”

I looked at the price then her again, “Well they’re pink.”

“Oh my God, can we just please go to Dolce & Gabbana and call it a day?” She whined, “This store is making my baby kick.”

“Honey your child doesn’t even have legs yet… hush and let’s go.”

SHAWN’S P0V

My studio time was set for 10 tonight so I decided to go with Quez to watch my baby girl ball. I understood Bee’s madness, because I would feel the same way if we had a son and he wanted to try cheerleading, but I would back him up…. Nonetheless. Might shed a couple tears in the process but it’s all-good.

“Bee wanted to beat my ass after she found out you were taking TiTi and Julez to play basketball.”

“Why?” He chuckled.

“She thinks she’s gonna be g.ay.” We both laughed, “Nah she doesn’t want her to be a tomboy, but I told her she gotta let the girl do whatever she wants. She’s a lil kid, I’m sure this isn’t going to be the only sport that she plays…”

“Iont know man… look at her. She’s three right?” I nodded my head and stared in awe, “Umm can you say ballllinnnnn?” I’ll admit she was good to only be three, her and Julez was out there doing it. “I should take pictures and send them to Bee.”

“Nah don’t do that, you live with her sister… not her. She would beat my ass.”

“Yall be careful out there not too rough!” Quez yelled out to them as we sat on the bench and watched the two of them play.

My worst nightmare came true when TiTi fell flat on her face on the cement. “Oh Jesus, Bee’s gone beat my ass.” I ran over to her, “Baby girl you aight?”

“Yes.” Not a tear fell down from her cheek, but a big ass scratch was right along her jaw line and blood was oozing from it.

“C’mon let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Daddy did you see me?” I smiled at her and nodded my head as the four of us walked to the car listening to Julez and TiTi excitedly talk about their skills.

- -

“Tierra be still.” I said wiping it with alcohol.

“Dad… burn.”

I blew it as I dabbed on it, “Daddy blew it… what bandage?” She picked a blue one and I put it on her scar. “All better.”

“Where is my daughter?” Beyonce yelled walking through the door and we walked out the bathroom to greet her, “Hey Marquez…”

“Wassup bumble bee.” He gave her a hug and kiss.

“Auntie BeeBee!” Julez yelled and ran into her leg.

“Hey nephew!! How was basketball?” He gave her a thumbs up, “What the hell?” She said after noticing the unusual blue strip on her jaw. “Shawn!!!”

“Mommy… no hurt!” Beyonce looked at me like she was about to kill me and bent down to TiTi’s level to get a good look at her new beauty mark.

“Let me kiss it!” Beyonce tried to kiss it but she squirmed away, “Shawn Corey Carter where the hell is my daughter, and bring her back now!”

“Baby, I wasn’t even watching her when she fell.” Her eyes bulged out of her head, “Nah baby not like that!”

“Whew, Shawn you know how to work a nerve.” She said and walked away.

“And what you lookin’ at?” I asked Tasha as she just sat there quietly throughout the whole thing.

“You… this is funny to see her mad at you and not me.”

“Why would she be mad at you?”

“Oh, cause I spent three thousand dollars in BeBe.” My mouth dropped open, is this girl nuts?

“I’m suffering from a disease called, myfundsarelow… and you are not making this any better!”

“What is that?”

“My funds are low….” She smiled at my cleverness, “Yea, slow down on the shopping. Not like you can wear em three months down the line.” I said pointing to her belly, she’s gotten heavier but not like Bee. Beyonce was still sexy as hell, don’t get me wrong, but she’s gained about 8 pounds, a sexy eight pounds.

“That’s funny!” She said walking to her room with her many bags dragging behind her.

“Oh man I feel hella bad for you!” Quez said watching the whole thing from the couch with Julez also fascinated. “Two pregnant women with an attitude and a spending habbit…I’ma pray for my nigga!”

“Man I’m gonna need more than a prayer… It’s all your fault.” I said pointing to Tierra.

“No, it not my fault!” She said holding up her hands as if she surrendered.

“SHAWN I HATE YOU!!!” Beyonce yelled from the bedroom.

“Dang man!!” Quez said laughing his ass off on the opposite couch.

“Yep. Welcome to my life man!!”

Sat May 15, 2021 7:35 pm

CHAPTER 22
Narrator’s P0V
SEPTEMBER 4th

Waking up in a big comfy bed with the one that you love the most lying next to you, you cuddled up in their arms receiving the feeling to never let go. The smell of your mom’s famous homemade waffles, grits, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns and freshly brewed coffee lingering in the air making its way to the nostrils of a hungry being makes every birthday morning the greatest of them all.

“Happy birthday baby.” Shawn said finally opening his eyes coming face to face with the beautiful creation God so eloquently made just for him.

“Thank you.” He kissed her cheek and she pulled him closer wrapping her legs around his waistline, “You must’ve let my mom in?” She asked with a smile bigger than day just thinking about her taste buds savoring the taste of her mother’s cooking.

“Uhh yea something like that, let’s go wake the girls up so we can all eat breakfast then we get started on your day.” He rubbed her belly willingly waiting the day that their creation blessed the earth with his/her presence. She nodded her head and he slid out of the bed, sliding on some boxers and basketball shorts, which had been wildly thrown across the room by Bee last night.

“C’mon girls get up.” Shawn said walking into Tasha’s room trying to wake up both Tasha and Kayla; a task that comes to find out was almost impossible. “Yall please… get up. Bee’s going to kill me if yall aren’t at breakfast!”

“Ugh… okay cousin Shawn no need to sound sad and pitiful.” Kayla reluctantly sat up and walked to the bathroom.

“I knew there was a reason why I never liked you.” He said giving her a fake smile only to receive one in return, “Tasha you gotta get up baby girl.” She rose and he walked to TiTi’s room knowing that she would possibly give her dad a better morning response.

----

“Where are my presents?” Beyonce asked sitting on the couch rubbing her now full belly.

“And what makes you think this breakfast that I came over to cook wasn’t your present from all of us?” Tina asked cleaning up in the kitchen.

“Momma, c’mon be serious! Where are they?” She whined and Tasha and Kayla joined her on the couch, all three dressed comfortably in their pajamas for the time being. “Tasha where my presents?” She asked quietly.

“Mom, I really don’t know what you are talking about. Last time I checked I didn’t get you anything for your bday, and I checked this morning.” Beyonce threw a pillow at her head and she laughed, “Maybe Kayla knows something about a gift.”

“Now you know my a… butt knows squat about Bee’s gift, cousin you are really asking the wrong two people. Try talking to your man!”

Slowly Beyonce got off the couch and walked to Shawn’s office/study, “Hey baby.” She said opening the door to find him on the computer, after realizing her presence he hurriedly minimized whatever website that he was on and spun around in his chair just in time.

“Wassup boo?” He asked with open arms and she hesitated to sit in his lap, suspicious of his doings.

“Uhh huh, nothing. Just wondering where the hell my presents are. I mean damn I know thirty-four isn’t the greatest number but can a chick get something?!” He chuckled and kissed her lips softly.

“Don’t worry about presents alright, you already know that you gonna get hooked up. But right now your sister has an appointment set up for you, her, Kelly, Michelle and Angie at the spa. Go ‘head get dressed and go have fun. Just make sure you are back before 8.”

“Did you plan me a party?” She asked being nosey and he chuckled shaking his head, “Oooh you got me that necklace by Lorraine Schwartz?”

“The one that cost 15grand?” She nodded her head and he laughed, “Umm no baby not quite. Just go and keep ya hand out the cookie jar!” He gave her a peck on the lips and she left his office still with a marveling mind.

She got dressed in a nice but still simple blouse; stretch fitted skinny jeans and a pair of her heels. Applied a little make up here and there to take away the pregnancy look she was receiving but it just so happens Tasha skipped out on that part. “Oooh baby you better look sexier than ever, all the shit you got me going through.” She said to her belly, well more to herself due to the fact her growing belly couldn’t talk back. “Alright I’m gone. Bye TiTi.” She kissed her on the cheek on her way out the door.

“Bye-Bye.”

----

“Aww my big sister is getting old!” Solange said as the five ladies lay back getting catered to by young, sexy, oiled down and shirtless men.

“Hush b.itch, I’m still young!” Beyonce shot back trying to convince herself that she was what she was saying… young. “Anyways Michelle and Angie where the hell have you two heffas been these past few weeks? No phone calls, no emails, no visits…”

“Well I don’t know about Michelle, but I’ve been really busy on this court case.” Beyonce thought for a while.

“Okay I guess that’s an excuse, what about you skinny heffa?” She asked referring to Michelle who just so happened to be the skinniest of the five ladies.

“Shut up.” She said hiding her smile, “Well I’ve been working and dating.” She said with a proud smile spread across her face.

“Damn, I knew you stayed at the church for a reason. She done found herself a deacon yall!” Solange said and they all laughed. “I aint mad atcha boo, God said get what you can while in church… didn’t necessarily mean the word.”

“And what scripture was that in?” Beyonce asked.

“Umm I believe in Philippines.” She said while the other girls looked at each other in embarrassment, and the shirtless men chuckled to themselves. “What?” She asked confused, thinking she missed out on the joke.

“It’s Philippians you dumbass.” Kelly said, “See that’s why ya mama stay trying to get you to come to church, it’s obvious you don’t know a damn thing.”
“Hush. So Bee what you doing tonight for your birthday?” Bee looked around with her infamous eyebrow.

“I… don’t… know. That’s what yall hoes supposed to do, my baby told me to be back by eight so I’m guessing something’s going down. Yall don’t know nothin’ about it?” Everyone shook their heads, everyone except Angie. Angie couldn’t keep a secret nor could she lie for nothing and it’s quite embarrassing when you have the two best liars (Bee and Solo) for cousins. “Hmm, I see Ms. Can’t hold water is keeping shut. Let’s get up outta here ‘fore these men make me give ‘em my number.”

“Oooh yes, can we please go before Quez beats my yellow ass.” Solange said eyeing the beautiful muscular sculpture that stood before her.

“How ya doin’?” His strong, sleek Nigerian accent matched his body. Standing about 6 feet, weighing in at 200 flat, all muscle and probably 5% fat. Solange bit her bottom lip and wiped the sweat off her forehead while all the ladies watched him in amazement.

“Yall let’s get the hell up outta here!”

“Thank you boys.” Michelle said.

“The pleasure was all ours.” The French native spoke and kissed her hand seductively eyeing her down.

“Oh yes, we gotsta go!”

**

“So Michelle who is this nigga that I may not like?” Kelly asked as the five of them sat down at PJ’s grill, a choice of Beyonce’s.

“You’re gonna love him trust me, his names Martaevious. Tay for short, he’s from Miami and no I didn’t meet him at church.” She said eyeing Solange down.

“Uh huh, all that stuff sounds nice… but the thing I wanna know. Does the nigga have a job?” The ladies laughed expecting a statement like that from Solange, “I mean aint nothin’ wrong with being independent. I sure as hell was, but we women like to be catered to without our own credit card.” They all high fived each other on that one.

“Oh so true.” Kelly said.

“Okay, okay yes he has a job. He’s my client. He’s the Vice President over there at Majestic Measures (advertising agency).”

“Uh oh, I see we’re mixing pleasure and work. I see your hustle boo, keep givin’ him that good loving and the pay goes up.”

“Hehe, no Bee it’s not even like that. Yall will meet him soon.”

“I’ll have my pistol on standby just incase a nigga wanna pop off.” Kelly stated looking at her menu.

“See that’s why we don’t bring you out the house.” Angie said laughing and Kelly flipped her off.

----

“Baby why can’t you just make it easy… and just put something on?” He asked standing in the doorway of her walk in California closet.

“Shawn what do you expect me to do? Just walk out the house looking like any damn thing? I’m a fashion designer, and fashion takes time… plus it’s my birthday.” She said turning her body to face the choices she narrowed it down to.

“Well by the time we leave the house ya birthday is going to be over, Mrs. Fashion Designer.”

“Look, instead of just standing there b.itching and moaning why don’t you help me choose between this outfit and these shoes or this outfit with these shoes?” He walked up behind her wrapping his arms around her bare body, which was only dressed in a lace matching bra and underwear set.

“Which one is gonna be easier to get you out of tonight?” He whispered in her ear and she slyly grinned.

“This one.” She said pointing to the outfit on the left.

He softly bit her neck, “Then put that one on and let’s go.” He left with a smack to her ass and went to go check his emails for any updated information he could’ve received.

In thirty minutes Beyonce was fully dressed and beautified and most of all ready to go. “You look so beautiful baby.” Shawn said staring her down as they sat quietly in the back seat of the Rolls Royce.

She leaned over the arm rest kissing his lips, “Hmm, thanks baby. I see you over there lookin’ you just stepped out of the Armani photo shoot. I wonder who bought you that suit.” She said smiling knowing that she just recently bought it for him.

“Oh some lady that I know,” She punched him in his side, “Ouch, hehe.”

“Then quit playin’ and you won’t get hurt.” He grabbed her hands in his and kissed them. Just as the luxurious car came to a holt, “Where are we?”

“I swear you can’t even wait five minutes to get a look at where you’re at, you gotta ask questions.” He said waiting for their driver for the night to open up his door.

“Well a curious mind deserves an honest answer.”

“True, but not when a curious mind can answer their own question in less than five seconds.” His door opened, “Thanks Reggie.” The driver nodded his head and held the door. “My lady.” He said asking for her hand.

“Well aren’t we trying to be romantic.” Shawn grinned and too her arm in his leading her through double doors. As they entered Sisqo’s ‘Incomplete’ played in the background sending an automatic shiver to Beyonce’s spine.

The scenery didn’t make her emotions any better. The lights were dimmed setting the mood in the room. They had turned her favorite restaurant in Los Angeles, Koi into an only table restaurant seated for two. Lit candles sat in the middle of the table giving the romantic centerpiece (roses) glow.

“Babyyy.” She said laying her head on his shoulder crying. “This is beautiful.” He kissed her forehead and they walked to their seats. “Thank you.” She said as he scoot her in and he sat down in chair.

“Ya welcome.” He poured champagne into his glass and water into hers. “It’s only fair baby.” He said knowing she was upset that she had to sip on some damn water.

“Whatever.” She said playfully and picked her glass up.

“Wait before you drink I wanna say something to you…” He got out of his chair kneeing down picking something up from underneath the table. “I’ll be the first to admit that after our divorce I wasn’t sure if we could ever be one again. Or if I could ever be trusted by you again, because I caused you so much damage and I’ll admit absolutely nothing cost me your love. I was irresponsible and basically a jerk, but that’s something that I regret and I have to live with forever. But we put aside our differences and realized that something was bringing us together… love. And I wanna tell you that I love you so much, if I had more than one tongue each one of them would be confessing my love to you. I plan on spending the rest of my life with you whether it’s us being married or not. My heart aches when I think of you because it just feels so unreal to care for someone so much and with all of that said… tears and all.” They chuckled, “Would you accept this gift promising that you would mines forever?”

He opened up the rectangular shaped box revealing the necklace that she wanted so badly. Tears were already flowing but now they were streaming down her cheeks, happy tears of course.

“Yea you better be crying, this shit wasn’t cheap.” She laughed and grabbed his face bringing it closer to his giving him a passionate kiss, pushing her tongue into his mouth making the kiss even better. She parted away leaving a peck on his lips, he stared at her mesmerized from what had just happened. She smiled satisfied and wiped the corners of her mouth.

“Close your mouth baby, it’s rude to stare.” Beyonce laughed.

“Let’s hurry up.” He put her necklace on, leaving a trail of kisses back to her cheek. They ate their favorite meals and talked and laughed throughout their dinner. Dessert, well let’s just say there was no such thing as eating with a spoon or using a napkin. Their tongues and fingers took the place of those unneeded items. “You about ready?”

“Yea let’s go.” They walked to the car hand in hand not caring who saw or took pictures, they were in love and weren’t afraid to blast it on CNN news. “Are we going home now?” She asked anticipating the pure bliss she was about to experience tonight from her prince charming.

“Not yet boo. Got one more stop.” She sighed and sat back slouched in her seat and he ran his hand up and down her thigh, “Just wait baby. Daddy’s gonna handle his tonight, you just make sure you can handle it.” He rubbed her belly, “Don’t worry baby boy ya dad won’t hurt you.” Beyonce smiled and placed her hand over his and they stayed that way the rest of the ride to their next destination.

“My mom’s house? Shawn you have me waiting on some good lovin’ to come and see my parents?” Beyonce asked annoyed as they stood at the front door awaiting an answer.

“Stop being a baby, everybody wants to see you on your birthday. I can’t hog you off for myself.”

“Why not?” He smacked his lips just as the door opened, “Hey dad!” She said giving him a hug.

“Happy birthday baby girl.” He said kissing her cheek.

“Thanks.” She walked in the house saying hello to everyone with Shawn closely behind. “Aww, yall didn’t have to come all the way out here just for me!” Beyonce said hugging Eric, Mickey and Annie.

“I wasn’t going to… they made me come.” Eric said and Bee laughed. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks!”

Throughout the night gifts and hugs were passed around, nothing but laughter filled the atmosphere. It was one of the greatest birthdays that Beyonce has ever had in a while. She was happy this time around and that made everything go smoothly.

“Ay I’m going to be right back I gotta go to the bathroom.” Mathew said excusing himself from the conversation and making his way to the bathroom. He was trying to hide his addiction from everyone the whole night, but he could no longer take the crave, he needed a f.i.x. Tightly he pulled the belt across his bicep and placed the hook on the last hole available. While injecting his needle with the common drug (heroin) he thought about how special today was… it was his eldest daughter’s thirty fourth birthday. He was blessed to still be alive to watch her grow into the young woman she is today, but he was slowly risking the chance of him seeing her turn thirty five next year.

The reason why was undefined, but if he wanted to stop he had to get help. With the needle filled with the ‘fool’s medicine’ he stuck the needle into the worn spot which he had stuck before. Feeling an ultimate high instantly as the drugs entered his body calming him down and soothing his thoughts. He was an undiscovered addict indeed, dealing with one of the worlds deadliest drugs. His family knew nothing about his addiction because he knew it would only kill them to know. But that’s what a heroin fein does, tries to hide his/her addiction but in the midst of not trying to kill his family… he/she kills his or her self.

"HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

"HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE

Re: "HE'S STILL THE MAN 0F MY DREAMS" by concreteROSE