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LeticiaAdmin- Posts : 194
Join date : 2021-03-23
Age : 36
Location : Brazil 
The letters (Short story)
Wed Mar 24, 2021 2:16 am
The letters
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It was your eyes.
He smiled as he started to read the words in the paper in his hand. It hadn't been the first time he did it, but they felt new every time his eyes scanned the lines. In his mind, he could hear her voice, as if she was right there, telling the story.
"Can I. sit here?" The voice of a young lady interrupted his reading, causing him to look up. As he met her eyes, he held them, founding them familiar.
"Sure." He motioned the empty space beside him and gladly, she took it. He was still looking at her as she smiled at him. He really liked her eyes.
"What are those?" She pointed at the paper in his hand, and all the others inside the opened box on his lap.
He looked at them as well, "They are. letters."
"You wrote them?"
He shook his head, "No, my wife wrote them to me."
The girl smiled, "Love letters?"
"I guess."
She fixed her eyes on the one in his hand, "What do they say?"
"You would like me to read it?" He offered, not minding sharing them.
"Sure." She smiled again, sitting close, to listen closely.
Finally, his eyes went back to scanning the page he held.
The way they never let go of me, through a crowd of people. It made me feel like the only person in the room.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I tried too, but every time I looked again, he was still looking right at me. I loved the way he did that.
"Bey, let's go already!" My cousin's voice stole my attention, making me look away.
"What?" I frowned as her grip on my arm tightened and she tried to force me to walk.
"Didn't you hear a word I just said? Kelly is wasted. We need to take her home."
I sighed. I told and told that girl not to do that tonight, but did she listen to me? Hell no. I took one last look at my guy, hating that I wouldn't get to talk to him, then followed Angie as we made our way out of the crowd. Soon I spotted Kelly at our table, her head laying on it, her face a mess.
"Kelly, let's go." Angie said impatiently, already trying to get her to get up. I placed one of her arms over my shoulder and Angie did the same on her side, then we started to make our way to the exit. Kelly kept stumbling and complaining throughout the way, getting Angie even more pissed then she already was.
"I swear to God Kelly, if you don't get the fuck up, I'm leaving you here." Angie said through clenched teeth after Kelly threw herself on the floor.
I made an attempt at helping her up, but she slapped my hand away. As I stepped back, frustrated, I spotted my guy coming up to us.
"Hi." He smiled, causing me to do the same, despite the fact that my best friend was laying at my feet, stinking drunk.
"Hi." I took another step back, getting closer to him as Kelly decided to stretch.
"Need help with her?" He glanced at her, but kept his eyes on me.
"That would be great." Angie answered before I could.
"Hiii," Kelly smiled as he made her lean on him, holding her by her arm and waist while walking her out.
We loaded her into the backseat of Angie's car and I waited until Angie got in, before turning my attention to him. "I'm Beyoncé." I said, holding my hand out.
"It's very nice to meet you Beyoncé." He held my hand and got closer, "I'm Shawn."
I couldn't say anything after that, because I was very busy staring at his lips, wishing he would kiss me with them.
"You're going to give him your number or what?" Angie yelled through the window, trying to rush the process.
He laughed, but took his phone out of his pocket to hand it to me. I put my number in and handed the phone back.
He stepped back to let me opened the door to the passenger side of the car, "Thanks."
"Bye-bye Shawn, thanks for the help." Angie yelled out, driving off the minute I took my place inside.
We both laughed and held each other's eyes until finally the car turned the corner.
"Really feeling him, huh?" Angie said in a teasingly tone, but I didn't care. I was definitely feeling him.
"Did you see those lips?" I said dreamily.
Angie frowned as I looked at her, "Are you wasted too?"
I laughed, "Do I have to be drunk to like a guy?"
"Normally, yes. You have hot guys hitting on you all the time, and never give them a second glance."
I waved her off, "They bore me." What kind of relationship could I have with a guy who walks up to me and says, "Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope." Boy please.
"What makes this one so interesting?" Angie asked, glancing at me as she drove.
I sighed and leaned back, watching the sky, ".his eyes."
Angie dropped Kelly off, and I stayed with her at her place, holding her hair back while she threw up the little food she ingested before gulping down vodka until she couldn't hold her head up. By the time I had managed to settle her in her bed, with clean clothes and face, I was starting to feel a little disappointed that I didn't get a phone call or even a text yet. What was Shawn waiting for?
Finally, when I glanced at my phone for the 50th time, just as I was about to change into one of Kelly's pajamas, I saw the new message notification pop up. I don't even need to say that a big smile showed on my face when I saw it was from him.
New message: "Hi Beyoncé. It's Shawn from the club. How's your friend doing?"
I sat on the bed, at Kelly's feet to type back, "Hi Shawn from the club. My friend is alright. Unfortunately, she does that a lot. Thanks for helping with her."
It took a while for him to reply, so I used the time to change and brush my teeth. When I came back in the bedroom, his message was waiting on my screen.
New message: "No problem. What are you doing right now?"
I sat back by Kelly and typed, "I'm in my pajamas, about to go to bed."
New message: "Oh, my bad. Didn't mean to keep you up. I wish I talked to you at the club though."
I replied, "It's okay. I had to cut my night short, but I'm not ready to sleep yet. So, why didn't you talk to me at the club?" Shortly after I sent the message, my phone rang, and damn my smile grew when his name showed. I had saved the number just to see his name on my screen. "Hello?"
"Hi Beyoncé," The sound of his voice brought butterflies to my stomach.
"You like saying my name don't you?"
"I do. I liked your name, and your eyes. I really liked your eyes."
I felt myself blush a little, "So, why didn't you talk to me at the club?"
"Oh, I wanted to ask you to dance, but they didn't play the right song."
"Really? What would the right song be?"
"I don't know, but it wasn't that Britney Spears song." He chuckled lightly, making me laugh too,
"Yeah, that wasn't one of my favorites either. So. what are you doing now, still at the club?" I wasn't hearing music or anything in the background, so I didn't think so, but still.
"Nah, I cut my night short too. I wanted to at least talk to you tonight."
I raised my eyebrows at the phone, "At least?"
"I really wanted to see you again, but I'll have to wait for that. I mean, I hope I'll get to see you sometime soon."
I looked over at Kelly sleeping, and bit my bottom lip. I wanted to see him too, and I didn't really wanted to wait.
"You still want to see me tonight?" I asked, checking the time to see it was 1:47 am already.
"Tonight, really?" He asked unsure.
"Yes." My heart was beating fast now. Should I really do this?
"Where?" Now he sounded more sure, giving me nerves to make up my mind.
"In front of the club, in like. 20 minutes. Can you be there?"
"Yes. Are you really gonna be there?"
I smiled, "I will."
"Alright, see you later Beyoncé."
The minute I hung up, I jumped out of the bed and changed back into my clothes, before running to the bathroom. I had washed most of my makeup off and didn't want to take the time to do it all again, but I made sure to fix my hair before I grabbed Kelly's car keys and headed out.
He was there when I pulled up. Leaning against a silver Honda Civic that I assumed was his. I got out of the car, locking it behind me before walking over. All the while trying and failing miserably in hiding my smile. He wasn't even shy with his. He was practically grinning as I walked up to him.
"Hi," He said as I stood in front of him.
"You wanted to see me. I'm here." I opened my arms, my palms up.
"I kinda thought you wouldn't come."
"I told you I would. So, now that I'm here, what do you want to do?"
"Are you hungry?" He pointed at something behind me and I turned to see an opened diner a block over.
I shrugged, "Kinda."
We started walking, side by side, taking our time as we did.
"So, how often your friend gets drunk like that? I mean, are you guys at the club a lot?"
"Well, I don't go much. I don't have as much fun as my friends do. They are always finding somewhere to go though. What about you?"
"I show up from time to time. I don't like doing the same thing every weekend."
"So you're always doing something different?"
"Whenever I can, yeah."
"Like what, what did you do last weekend?"
"Last weekend I had a date, a blind date, so we had dinner and then she wanted to go to this art gallery."
I tried not to feel jealous over this guy that I just met with another woman, but I confess I was having a hard time with it, "How was the date?" I tried to sound neutral.
"Wasn't that good. Actually. it really sucked, but I'm glad for that."
I looked up at him, "Why is that?"
"Made me want to go out to a club tonight, and I got to meet you."
"Well. the night could still suck." I said, still feeling a pinch of jealousy.
He smiled, "I have a feeling it won't."
Just as he said that, we reached the diner and went in. We ordered fries and burgers, picking a table by the window to sit. And for about 40 minutes, we sat there eating and talking like two friends who had just bumped into each other. It was really nice the way it was just easy and funny to talk. I didn't feel the tension and pressure I usually do on dates. I wasn't trying to like him, and he wasn't trying to make me either.
"Wait," I put my hand up, cutting into his story. "How the hell your watch got caught in the hem of her skirt. "Accidentally"?" I did the air quotation, really not believing him.
"I don't know. I was just pointing something out in my book." He shrugged.
"From behind her?" I shook my head, "Did she buy that?"
"No." He smiled, "She kept my E and sent me to the principal's office, where I got a suspension. Nobody believed that I didn't mean to leave her ass exposed to the entire class to see."
I was laughing hard now, imagining the scene. A 50 something high school teacher, distractedly writing on the board with her granny panties displaying for dozens of students. I wiped my face, "You did that on purpose. You know you did."
He shook his head, "I didn't, but it was funny as hell."
As our laughs died down, I looked at the empty plate in front of me, the empty soda bottle beside it. Then I checked the time on my phone. Pretty soon, it would be 4:00 am. "I guess we should get going."
"Yeah," He agreed. We got ready to leave, then I reached inside my purse for money, but he put his hand up to stop me, "It's okay, I got this."
I shrugged, "Okay."
He held the door for me as we left and we made our way back to the parking lot.
"So." I said as we stood by my car.
"It was a great night. Didn't disappoint me at all."
I nodded, "Didn't disappoint me either. Still, you owe me a dance."
"Oh right," He laughed, "Next time I'll make sure to request just the right song for us." We looked at each other, silent. We were supposed to say good night and leave now, but. "To be honest, I wish I didn't have to go." He said, reading my thoughts.
"Right," I bobbed my head, "I had a great time."
He took a step forward and my eyes settled on his lips. They really looked good. If I could get just one taste of them before I left. I bit my lip and finally, my eyes looked up at his, making him smile as I did. He walked even closer and put his arms around my body, looking into my eyes, the way he did before, in the club.
"Can I get a good night kiss?" He whispered.
"Hell yeah." I said softly, just before his lips touched mine. Mmmm. There he goes. Them lips were just as soft and juicy as I thought they would be. I loved the sound he made when I grabbed them with my teeth. The kiss was just heated at first, but I didn't know how to let go of him. The more I kissed him, the more I wanted to keep doing it. Before long, we were practically making out on that parking lot. I could hear people coming out of the club and commenting on our display. Some drunken ones really making noise. They probably thought we were drunk too. And I just thanked God that wasn't the case, because I might had fucked him right there and then. Finally, he gathered strength enough to pull away so we could breathe, but still our faces were very close.
"Now I definitely wish I didn't have to go home." He said smiling. I felt him on that. Home wasn't where I wanted to go either, or any place where he wasn't. Oh God, what was it that already made me not want to be away from this man?
"Take me home with you." I whispered the words like they were a thought that slipped from my mind.
He smiled hard, in a way that made his cheeks look so cute on his face. "I may never let you leave."
I pecked his lips, "I might never want to."
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It was your eyes.
He smiled as he started to read the words in the paper in his hand. It hadn't been the first time he did it, but they felt new every time his eyes scanned the lines. In his mind, he could hear her voice, as if she was right there, telling the story.
"Can I. sit here?" The voice of a young lady interrupted his reading, causing him to look up. As he met her eyes, he held them, founding them familiar.
"Sure." He motioned the empty space beside him and gladly, she took it. He was still looking at her as she smiled at him. He really liked her eyes.
"What are those?" She pointed at the paper in his hand, and all the others inside the opened box on his lap.
He looked at them as well, "They are. letters."
"You wrote them?"
He shook his head, "No, my wife wrote them to me."
The girl smiled, "Love letters?"
"I guess."
She fixed her eyes on the one in his hand, "What do they say?"
"You would like me to read it?" He offered, not minding sharing them.
"Sure." She smiled again, sitting close, to listen closely.
Finally, his eyes went back to scanning the page he held.
The way they never let go of me, through a crowd of people. It made me feel like the only person in the room.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I tried too, but every time I looked again, he was still looking right at me. I loved the way he did that.
"Bey, let's go already!" My cousin's voice stole my attention, making me look away.
"What?" I frowned as her grip on my arm tightened and she tried to force me to walk.
"Didn't you hear a word I just said? Kelly is wasted. We need to take her home."
I sighed. I told and told that girl not to do that tonight, but did she listen to me? Hell no. I took one last look at my guy, hating that I wouldn't get to talk to him, then followed Angie as we made our way out of the crowd. Soon I spotted Kelly at our table, her head laying on it, her face a mess.
"Kelly, let's go." Angie said impatiently, already trying to get her to get up. I placed one of her arms over my shoulder and Angie did the same on her side, then we started to make our way to the exit. Kelly kept stumbling and complaining throughout the way, getting Angie even more pissed then she already was.
"I swear to God Kelly, if you don't get the fuck up, I'm leaving you here." Angie said through clenched teeth after Kelly threw herself on the floor.
I made an attempt at helping her up, but she slapped my hand away. As I stepped back, frustrated, I spotted my guy coming up to us.
"Hi." He smiled, causing me to do the same, despite the fact that my best friend was laying at my feet, stinking drunk.
"Hi." I took another step back, getting closer to him as Kelly decided to stretch.
"Need help with her?" He glanced at her, but kept his eyes on me.
"That would be great." Angie answered before I could.
"Hiii," Kelly smiled as he made her lean on him, holding her by her arm and waist while walking her out.
We loaded her into the backseat of Angie's car and I waited until Angie got in, before turning my attention to him. "I'm Beyoncé." I said, holding my hand out.
"It's very nice to meet you Beyoncé." He held my hand and got closer, "I'm Shawn."
I couldn't say anything after that, because I was very busy staring at his lips, wishing he would kiss me with them.
"You're going to give him your number or what?" Angie yelled through the window, trying to rush the process.
He laughed, but took his phone out of his pocket to hand it to me. I put my number in and handed the phone back.
He stepped back to let me opened the door to the passenger side of the car, "Thanks."
"Bye-bye Shawn, thanks for the help." Angie yelled out, driving off the minute I took my place inside.
We both laughed and held each other's eyes until finally the car turned the corner.
"Really feeling him, huh?" Angie said in a teasingly tone, but I didn't care. I was definitely feeling him.
"Did you see those lips?" I said dreamily.
Angie frowned as I looked at her, "Are you wasted too?"
I laughed, "Do I have to be drunk to like a guy?"
"Normally, yes. You have hot guys hitting on you all the time, and never give them a second glance."
I waved her off, "They bore me." What kind of relationship could I have with a guy who walks up to me and says, "Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope." Boy please.
"What makes this one so interesting?" Angie asked, glancing at me as she drove.
I sighed and leaned back, watching the sky, ".his eyes."
Angie dropped Kelly off, and I stayed with her at her place, holding her hair back while she threw up the little food she ingested before gulping down vodka until she couldn't hold her head up. By the time I had managed to settle her in her bed, with clean clothes and face, I was starting to feel a little disappointed that I didn't get a phone call or even a text yet. What was Shawn waiting for?
Finally, when I glanced at my phone for the 50th time, just as I was about to change into one of Kelly's pajamas, I saw the new message notification pop up. I don't even need to say that a big smile showed on my face when I saw it was from him.
New message: "Hi Beyoncé. It's Shawn from the club. How's your friend doing?"
I sat on the bed, at Kelly's feet to type back, "Hi Shawn from the club. My friend is alright. Unfortunately, she does that a lot. Thanks for helping with her."
It took a while for him to reply, so I used the time to change and brush my teeth. When I came back in the bedroom, his message was waiting on my screen.
New message: "No problem. What are you doing right now?"
I sat back by Kelly and typed, "I'm in my pajamas, about to go to bed."
New message: "Oh, my bad. Didn't mean to keep you up. I wish I talked to you at the club though."
I replied, "It's okay. I had to cut my night short, but I'm not ready to sleep yet. So, why didn't you talk to me at the club?" Shortly after I sent the message, my phone rang, and damn my smile grew when his name showed. I had saved the number just to see his name on my screen. "Hello?"
"Hi Beyoncé," The sound of his voice brought butterflies to my stomach.
"You like saying my name don't you?"
"I do. I liked your name, and your eyes. I really liked your eyes."
I felt myself blush a little, "So, why didn't you talk to me at the club?"
"Oh, I wanted to ask you to dance, but they didn't play the right song."
"Really? What would the right song be?"
"I don't know, but it wasn't that Britney Spears song." He chuckled lightly, making me laugh too,
"Yeah, that wasn't one of my favorites either. So. what are you doing now, still at the club?" I wasn't hearing music or anything in the background, so I didn't think so, but still.
"Nah, I cut my night short too. I wanted to at least talk to you tonight."
I raised my eyebrows at the phone, "At least?"
"I really wanted to see you again, but I'll have to wait for that. I mean, I hope I'll get to see you sometime soon."
I looked over at Kelly sleeping, and bit my bottom lip. I wanted to see him too, and I didn't really wanted to wait.
"You still want to see me tonight?" I asked, checking the time to see it was 1:47 am already.
"Tonight, really?" He asked unsure.
"Yes." My heart was beating fast now. Should I really do this?
"Where?" Now he sounded more sure, giving me nerves to make up my mind.
"In front of the club, in like. 20 minutes. Can you be there?"
"Yes. Are you really gonna be there?"
I smiled, "I will."
"Alright, see you later Beyoncé."
The minute I hung up, I jumped out of the bed and changed back into my clothes, before running to the bathroom. I had washed most of my makeup off and didn't want to take the time to do it all again, but I made sure to fix my hair before I grabbed Kelly's car keys and headed out.
He was there when I pulled up. Leaning against a silver Honda Civic that I assumed was his. I got out of the car, locking it behind me before walking over. All the while trying and failing miserably in hiding my smile. He wasn't even shy with his. He was practically grinning as I walked up to him.
"Hi," He said as I stood in front of him.
"You wanted to see me. I'm here." I opened my arms, my palms up.
"I kinda thought you wouldn't come."
"I told you I would. So, now that I'm here, what do you want to do?"
"Are you hungry?" He pointed at something behind me and I turned to see an opened diner a block over.
I shrugged, "Kinda."
We started walking, side by side, taking our time as we did.
"So, how often your friend gets drunk like that? I mean, are you guys at the club a lot?"
"Well, I don't go much. I don't have as much fun as my friends do. They are always finding somewhere to go though. What about you?"
"I show up from time to time. I don't like doing the same thing every weekend."
"So you're always doing something different?"
"Whenever I can, yeah."
"Like what, what did you do last weekend?"
"Last weekend I had a date, a blind date, so we had dinner and then she wanted to go to this art gallery."
I tried not to feel jealous over this guy that I just met with another woman, but I confess I was having a hard time with it, "How was the date?" I tried to sound neutral.
"Wasn't that good. Actually. it really sucked, but I'm glad for that."
I looked up at him, "Why is that?"
"Made me want to go out to a club tonight, and I got to meet you."
"Well. the night could still suck." I said, still feeling a pinch of jealousy.
He smiled, "I have a feeling it won't."
Just as he said that, we reached the diner and went in. We ordered fries and burgers, picking a table by the window to sit. And for about 40 minutes, we sat there eating and talking like two friends who had just bumped into each other. It was really nice the way it was just easy and funny to talk. I didn't feel the tension and pressure I usually do on dates. I wasn't trying to like him, and he wasn't trying to make me either.
"Wait," I put my hand up, cutting into his story. "How the hell your watch got caught in the hem of her skirt. "Accidentally"?" I did the air quotation, really not believing him.
"I don't know. I was just pointing something out in my book." He shrugged.
"From behind her?" I shook my head, "Did she buy that?"
"No." He smiled, "She kept my E and sent me to the principal's office, where I got a suspension. Nobody believed that I didn't mean to leave her ass exposed to the entire class to see."
I was laughing hard now, imagining the scene. A 50 something high school teacher, distractedly writing on the board with her granny panties displaying for dozens of students. I wiped my face, "You did that on purpose. You know you did."
He shook his head, "I didn't, but it was funny as hell."
As our laughs died down, I looked at the empty plate in front of me, the empty soda bottle beside it. Then I checked the time on my phone. Pretty soon, it would be 4:00 am. "I guess we should get going."
"Yeah," He agreed. We got ready to leave, then I reached inside my purse for money, but he put his hand up to stop me, "It's okay, I got this."
I shrugged, "Okay."
He held the door for me as we left and we made our way back to the parking lot.
"So." I said as we stood by my car.
"It was a great night. Didn't disappoint me at all."
I nodded, "Didn't disappoint me either. Still, you owe me a dance."
"Oh right," He laughed, "Next time I'll make sure to request just the right song for us." We looked at each other, silent. We were supposed to say good night and leave now, but. "To be honest, I wish I didn't have to go." He said, reading my thoughts.
"Right," I bobbed my head, "I had a great time."
He took a step forward and my eyes settled on his lips. They really looked good. If I could get just one taste of them before I left. I bit my lip and finally, my eyes looked up at his, making him smile as I did. He walked even closer and put his arms around my body, looking into my eyes, the way he did before, in the club.
"Can I get a good night kiss?" He whispered.
"Hell yeah." I said softly, just before his lips touched mine. Mmmm. There he goes. Them lips were just as soft and juicy as I thought they would be. I loved the sound he made when I grabbed them with my teeth. The kiss was just heated at first, but I didn't know how to let go of him. The more I kissed him, the more I wanted to keep doing it. Before long, we were practically making out on that parking lot. I could hear people coming out of the club and commenting on our display. Some drunken ones really making noise. They probably thought we were drunk too. And I just thanked God that wasn't the case, because I might had fucked him right there and then. Finally, he gathered strength enough to pull away so we could breathe, but still our faces were very close.
"Now I definitely wish I didn't have to go home." He said smiling. I felt him on that. Home wasn't where I wanted to go either, or any place where he wasn't. Oh God, what was it that already made me not want to be away from this man?
"Take me home with you." I whispered the words like they were a thought that slipped from my mind.
He smiled hard, in a way that made his cheeks look so cute on his face. "I may never let you leave."
I pecked his lips, "I might never want to."
Aayj likes this post
- LeticiaAdmin
- Posts : 194
Join date : 2021-03-23
Age : 36
Location : Brazil
Re: The letters (Short story)
Mon Mar 29, 2021 12:43 am
I didn't know what had gotten into me then. Why my heart was so willing to give itself away that easily, but I guess that was what poets keep writing about. The moment when you find your soulmate, and something beyond your mind connect, and you just can't let go.
I took a quick look around as he locked the door to his house behind us. It was crazy how familiar it felt to me even though I had never seen the place before. I felt him come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist. It felt good to be in his arms like that.
"So." I said looking up at him, "Are you going to give me a tour?"
He smiled, "Sure." We started walking and he still had me in his arms. "Here's the living room." He pointed out without stopping, my eyes scanning over his black leather couch and big screen TV for a second, but only really stopping at the photos on the left wall. Before I could comment on it, he walked us into the kitchen, going to the fridge. "This is my kitchen." He said before coming out with a bottle of water in hand. "And back there is a place I almost never go." He pointed at a door that I assumed led to his laundry room.
"Your place is really nice." I smiled.
He held me again, guiding me out and to the next room, "You didn't see everything yet." We walked by a closed door and he pointed at it, but didn't open, "This is the guest room, I use it mostly to throw the mess I leave in my room sometimes. That way I don't have to actually clean up and stuff." I laughed, but honestly, I thought it was a very good trick, maybe if I did that, my bedroom wouldn't look such a mess all the time, "And finally. this is my bedroom." We entered the room together, but I couldn't see anything, because he had me turned to face him and our lips were already locking together. I only got a glimpse of my surroundings when we flopped down on the bed.
"It's a very nice room," I said, my smile still in place.
"Yeah, the bed is very comfortable too."
"I noticed that. I also noticed that it wasn't very knightly of you to bring me straight to your bed."
He smiled down at me, "I didn't bring you straight to my bed, we did stop at the kitchen, and I showed you around."
I looked at the bottle of water still in his hand, "And we're going to need a bottle of water because.?"
"It's only polite to offer a guess something to drink. I just thought. it's late," He checked his watch, "We should be in bed."
My smiled just wouldn't fade, "Well thank you for the look out."
"You're welcome." He twisted off the bottle cap and nonchalantly took a sip of water, offered me some. I leaned my head up and let him feed me a small gulp. He got up only long enough to put the bottle away then climb back on the bed, on top of me.
"So." He said conversationally, as if there wasn't anything else we were supposed to be doing on that bed.
I laughed and pulled him down, "Will you kiss me already?"
He didn't hesitate. He gave me all his lips could give and still, it wasn't enough. Without warning, I flipped us over, so I got the top. I was sitting on him, his hands resting on my sides as he smiled up at me. I looked at that man, and all I could think of was, that I needed him to be mine. Tonight, tomorrow, every single day. He pulled me down for another kiss and this time, it was my turn to give my all. As we pulled away, he put my top over my head and I did the same with his shirt. Both of us admiring what was revealed underneath.
I could describe every single moment of that night, remember every detail of it, and yet, it was like my body took over and my mind wasn't even there. With each piece of clothing that came off, all I could do was explore his body, press my lips against his skin, wanting to feel all of him. I couldn't get enough of his touch, his kiss, the feel of his body. I was addicted to him after just one taste.
After he brought me to three orgasms, one from his lips and tongue only - I knew I liked his lips for a reason - I finally collapsed on the bed, spent. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and when I opened them again, he was hovering over me with the bottle of water in his hand. He brought it close to my lips and I opened my mouth to let him feed me some of it.
"How often do you do that?" I asked, getting my breathing back.
"Do what? Have amazing sex?" He took a sip of water before looking at me again, "Not as often as I'd like."
"You don't get many girls here and have their water ready?"
"No, not many girls." He laid beside me and I pulled him closer, pecked his lips.
"Sorry. I can get a little possessive sometimes."
"It's alright. I don't feel like sharing or thinking of you with anyone else either."
Our lips met one more time, and we shared a short kiss before we cuddled up together. With him holding me in his arms, I felt myself drifting off to sleep. That was when I remembered I had Kelly's car, and she would for sure to be looking for it in the morning. Hell, she'd be looking for me in the morning. I opened my eyes, let them scan around the room for my clothes, but I couldn't make myself get up and put them back on.
"Good night babe." Shawn said softly with his face pressed against my neck. Oh, fuck it. I ain't leaving this bed anytime soon.
That morning, I woke up to your face, already awake and watching me, and I knew then, I was in trouble. My mornings would never be the same again, if I didn't get to see you looking back at me, with your penetrating eyes.
The minute your lips touched mine, I was ready to love you all over again. And it let me know, that my addiction to you wasn't going away.
"What does it say?" I asked Angie, covering my eyes as I handed the stick to her. She didn't respond right away, which made me part my fingers to look at her. ".Angie?"
"There are. two lines, Bey." Her face was so serious it got me even more nervous.
"And that means what?" I took the stick back as if the answer was in it.
Angie picked up the box, "It's positive. You're pregnant."
My legs buckled and I felt around the bathroom until I found the toilet seat and sat down. I couldn't even breathe.
"What you gonna do?" I heard Angie ask, but still it took me a while to focus on her again.
I shook my head to clear my mind, then looked at her, "What you mean, what I'm gonna do?"
"I mean, are you keeping it?"
I frowned, "What the hell Angie, I'm not getting rid of it, why would I do that?"
"Well, sorry, but you're not exactly the maternal type." Angie threw her hands up, defensively.
It was probably true, and I definitely didn't see myself being a mom so soon. I knew for a fact I wasn't ready for it, but hey. maybe that was nature telling me something. Like. maybe my body was ready for it, even if my mind wasn't, or maybe that I should not be counting only on condoms to prevent pregnancy.
"So you're telling Shawn?"
Once again, Angie made me frown, "Of course I'm telling him. He's the father. I can't have a baby without telling him."
She kind of whistled, "Man, that's crazy, you guys been seeing each other for what? 2 months? You think there's any chance he'll react well to the news?"
"Well, he better be glad I'm willing to pop out his child, 'cause I'm damn well not going through this alone. I wouldn't be going through this at all if it wasn't for his fast ass seeds."
"You did open up your legs for them though." Angie shrugged.
"Ugh, I'm going back to bed, I'm done with this day. I want a different one."
Of course, just going back to bed wouldn't get me to sleep again. I kept tossing and turning, thinking about the baby, thinking about Shawn and how I was going to tell him about it, until my stomach finally dragged me out of bed and into the kitchen. I stuck my head in the fridge, looking for something crunchy, but I also wanted something sweet. I got some bacon out, and then placed a frying pan on the stove. When it was ready and smelling good, I got a tub of ice cream out of the freezer and went to the couch with all my food. I was going to combine the tastes to satisfy my needs. I could only imagine though, what kind of cravings I would have in a few months. My taste was already a mess. I'll probably want to stay clear of those weird TV shows where they eat like insets and a bunch of slimy stuff.
I woke up some time later, with my phone ringing and that was actually when I even realized that I had fallen asleep. I picked my phone up from my end table and saw Shawn's name flashing on the screen. I could lie and say that it didn't have any effect on me, and that I didn't smile at all, but. Who would I be fooling?
"Hi." I answered.
"Hey babe, what are you up to today?"
I sighed, "Nothing actually. I've been sleeping most of the day."
"Wanna go grab a bite tonight?"
"No, I don't want to go anywhere, but I'd be up for pizza."
"Are you okay?" He sounded a little concerned.
"Yeah, I'm just tired."
"Alright then, I'll stop by tonight." He hung up, and I got up from the couch with plans of taking a shower than doing something with my day, but what I did was take a shower, and then sit back on the couch to watch TV. Thank God, it was Sunday and there wasn't anything I really had to do today.
Hours later, I woke up again, this time to the sound of my doorbell. Shit, I didn't know what the deal was with me sleeping all day like that. I wasn't surprised when I saw it was Shawn at the door.
"Hey, were you sleeping again?" He raised his eyebrows. I was yawning as I nodded at him. He stopped to give me a kiss and then went into the kitchen to put the pizza down while I locked the door.
"Come on, let's go." I heard him say while I went through my phone, seeing what I missed while I was sleeping and before I could ask or figure out what he meant by that, he was lifting me off the ground.
"Shawn. Are you crazy?" I wrapped my legs around his body for more support and he just laughed and took us to my bed room.
"I wanted to bring you back to bed." He threw me on it and I whimpered, complaining about the impact.
"I wasn't sleeping on the bed, I was on the couch."
"Well, the bed is more comfortable."
I smiled, "I'll give you that."
I heard some noise and felt something move and looked down to see he was taking of his shoes. When he was done with it, he climbed on the bed and laid on top of me, "So, you really slept all day?"
"Most of it. What did you do?"
"I played some basketball, watched some videos on the internet and emptied my fridge."
"Porn videos?" I teased.
"Nah, you know I'm not into that." He lied.
"Sure, and pigs do can fly."
He grinned, "Speaking of sex though." He placed a kiss on my neck and I moaned, wanting nothing more than to get into some good loving making with my baby, but first. There was something else I really needed to get out.
"Yeah." I started, pushing him away just enough to have his attention, "Speaking of sex. There something I need to talk to you about."
"Okay," He slide to the side and turned his face to me, giving me his full attention. I loved that, I loved that he really paid attention if he thought it was important to me.
I looked into his eyes for a minute, took a deep breath, "I think I'm uh. Well, I'm pretty sure that. I'm pregnant."
His eyebrows went high and it took him a second to speak, "You're.. pretty sure?"
"I mean. My period is been MIA for like two weeks and I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I can still like, go to a hospital and do the test, but I really think I am."
He nodded, still trying to take the information in, "Well, I would really be okay with just having a pizza tonight, but. having a baby it is, I guess."
I laughed and playfully hit him on the chest, "I'm serious Shawn."
"I know you are," He sighed and kept my hand, "I just don't know what to say. I mean, what should I say?"
"I don't know, are you. okay with it?"
I had my eyes so fixed on him I don't think I was breathing. He took a deep breath, "I'd be lying if I said that I feel completely ready to have a child, or that it's all that've been missing from my life right now, but hey, if that's how nature wants it, I'll take."
I smiled so hard hearing him say that. Our thinking were so alike, it was crazy, "Besides, if I have to have an unexpected baby with anyone, I'm glad it's with you."
I nodded. That could have sounded fake, forced, or at least convenient, but to me it sounded true, because it was exactly how I felt. I grabbed his face and brought him in for a kiss, "Me too."
He pulled away just a bit, "Are you freaking out yet?"
I laughed, "Why do you think I couldn't do anything all day? I can't even think right."
I felt him wrapping his arms around me as I closed my eyes, "Let me know when you get it together, so I can take my turn,"
I buried my face in his chest, "It may take a while."
I took a quick look around as he locked the door to his house behind us. It was crazy how familiar it felt to me even though I had never seen the place before. I felt him come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist. It felt good to be in his arms like that.
"So." I said looking up at him, "Are you going to give me a tour?"
He smiled, "Sure." We started walking and he still had me in his arms. "Here's the living room." He pointed out without stopping, my eyes scanning over his black leather couch and big screen TV for a second, but only really stopping at the photos on the left wall. Before I could comment on it, he walked us into the kitchen, going to the fridge. "This is my kitchen." He said before coming out with a bottle of water in hand. "And back there is a place I almost never go." He pointed at a door that I assumed led to his laundry room.
"Your place is really nice." I smiled.
He held me again, guiding me out and to the next room, "You didn't see everything yet." We walked by a closed door and he pointed at it, but didn't open, "This is the guest room, I use it mostly to throw the mess I leave in my room sometimes. That way I don't have to actually clean up and stuff." I laughed, but honestly, I thought it was a very good trick, maybe if I did that, my bedroom wouldn't look such a mess all the time, "And finally. this is my bedroom." We entered the room together, but I couldn't see anything, because he had me turned to face him and our lips were already locking together. I only got a glimpse of my surroundings when we flopped down on the bed.
"It's a very nice room," I said, my smile still in place.
"Yeah, the bed is very comfortable too."
"I noticed that. I also noticed that it wasn't very knightly of you to bring me straight to your bed."
He smiled down at me, "I didn't bring you straight to my bed, we did stop at the kitchen, and I showed you around."
I looked at the bottle of water still in his hand, "And we're going to need a bottle of water because.?"
"It's only polite to offer a guess something to drink. I just thought. it's late," He checked his watch, "We should be in bed."
My smiled just wouldn't fade, "Well thank you for the look out."
"You're welcome." He twisted off the bottle cap and nonchalantly took a sip of water, offered me some. I leaned my head up and let him feed me a small gulp. He got up only long enough to put the bottle away then climb back on the bed, on top of me.
"So." He said conversationally, as if there wasn't anything else we were supposed to be doing on that bed.
I laughed and pulled him down, "Will you kiss me already?"
He didn't hesitate. He gave me all his lips could give and still, it wasn't enough. Without warning, I flipped us over, so I got the top. I was sitting on him, his hands resting on my sides as he smiled up at me. I looked at that man, and all I could think of was, that I needed him to be mine. Tonight, tomorrow, every single day. He pulled me down for another kiss and this time, it was my turn to give my all. As we pulled away, he put my top over my head and I did the same with his shirt. Both of us admiring what was revealed underneath.
I could describe every single moment of that night, remember every detail of it, and yet, it was like my body took over and my mind wasn't even there. With each piece of clothing that came off, all I could do was explore his body, press my lips against his skin, wanting to feel all of him. I couldn't get enough of his touch, his kiss, the feel of his body. I was addicted to him after just one taste.
After he brought me to three orgasms, one from his lips and tongue only - I knew I liked his lips for a reason - I finally collapsed on the bed, spent. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and when I opened them again, he was hovering over me with the bottle of water in his hand. He brought it close to my lips and I opened my mouth to let him feed me some of it.
"How often do you do that?" I asked, getting my breathing back.
"Do what? Have amazing sex?" He took a sip of water before looking at me again, "Not as often as I'd like."
"You don't get many girls here and have their water ready?"
"No, not many girls." He laid beside me and I pulled him closer, pecked his lips.
"Sorry. I can get a little possessive sometimes."
"It's alright. I don't feel like sharing or thinking of you with anyone else either."
Our lips met one more time, and we shared a short kiss before we cuddled up together. With him holding me in his arms, I felt myself drifting off to sleep. That was when I remembered I had Kelly's car, and she would for sure to be looking for it in the morning. Hell, she'd be looking for me in the morning. I opened my eyes, let them scan around the room for my clothes, but I couldn't make myself get up and put them back on.
"Good night babe." Shawn said softly with his face pressed against my neck. Oh, fuck it. I ain't leaving this bed anytime soon.
That morning, I woke up to your face, already awake and watching me, and I knew then, I was in trouble. My mornings would never be the same again, if I didn't get to see you looking back at me, with your penetrating eyes.
The minute your lips touched mine, I was ready to love you all over again. And it let me know, that my addiction to you wasn't going away.
"What does it say?" I asked Angie, covering my eyes as I handed the stick to her. She didn't respond right away, which made me part my fingers to look at her. ".Angie?"
"There are. two lines, Bey." Her face was so serious it got me even more nervous.
"And that means what?" I took the stick back as if the answer was in it.
Angie picked up the box, "It's positive. You're pregnant."
My legs buckled and I felt around the bathroom until I found the toilet seat and sat down. I couldn't even breathe.
"What you gonna do?" I heard Angie ask, but still it took me a while to focus on her again.
I shook my head to clear my mind, then looked at her, "What you mean, what I'm gonna do?"
"I mean, are you keeping it?"
I frowned, "What the hell Angie, I'm not getting rid of it, why would I do that?"
"Well, sorry, but you're not exactly the maternal type." Angie threw her hands up, defensively.
It was probably true, and I definitely didn't see myself being a mom so soon. I knew for a fact I wasn't ready for it, but hey. maybe that was nature telling me something. Like. maybe my body was ready for it, even if my mind wasn't, or maybe that I should not be counting only on condoms to prevent pregnancy.
"So you're telling Shawn?"
Once again, Angie made me frown, "Of course I'm telling him. He's the father. I can't have a baby without telling him."
She kind of whistled, "Man, that's crazy, you guys been seeing each other for what? 2 months? You think there's any chance he'll react well to the news?"
"Well, he better be glad I'm willing to pop out his child, 'cause I'm damn well not going through this alone. I wouldn't be going through this at all if it wasn't for his fast ass seeds."
"You did open up your legs for them though." Angie shrugged.
"Ugh, I'm going back to bed, I'm done with this day. I want a different one."
Of course, just going back to bed wouldn't get me to sleep again. I kept tossing and turning, thinking about the baby, thinking about Shawn and how I was going to tell him about it, until my stomach finally dragged me out of bed and into the kitchen. I stuck my head in the fridge, looking for something crunchy, but I also wanted something sweet. I got some bacon out, and then placed a frying pan on the stove. When it was ready and smelling good, I got a tub of ice cream out of the freezer and went to the couch with all my food. I was going to combine the tastes to satisfy my needs. I could only imagine though, what kind of cravings I would have in a few months. My taste was already a mess. I'll probably want to stay clear of those weird TV shows where they eat like insets and a bunch of slimy stuff.
I woke up some time later, with my phone ringing and that was actually when I even realized that I had fallen asleep. I picked my phone up from my end table and saw Shawn's name flashing on the screen. I could lie and say that it didn't have any effect on me, and that I didn't smile at all, but. Who would I be fooling?
"Hi." I answered.
"Hey babe, what are you up to today?"
I sighed, "Nothing actually. I've been sleeping most of the day."
"Wanna go grab a bite tonight?"
"No, I don't want to go anywhere, but I'd be up for pizza."
"Are you okay?" He sounded a little concerned.
"Yeah, I'm just tired."
"Alright then, I'll stop by tonight." He hung up, and I got up from the couch with plans of taking a shower than doing something with my day, but what I did was take a shower, and then sit back on the couch to watch TV. Thank God, it was Sunday and there wasn't anything I really had to do today.
Hours later, I woke up again, this time to the sound of my doorbell. Shit, I didn't know what the deal was with me sleeping all day like that. I wasn't surprised when I saw it was Shawn at the door.
"Hey, were you sleeping again?" He raised his eyebrows. I was yawning as I nodded at him. He stopped to give me a kiss and then went into the kitchen to put the pizza down while I locked the door.
"Come on, let's go." I heard him say while I went through my phone, seeing what I missed while I was sleeping and before I could ask or figure out what he meant by that, he was lifting me off the ground.
"Shawn. Are you crazy?" I wrapped my legs around his body for more support and he just laughed and took us to my bed room.
"I wanted to bring you back to bed." He threw me on it and I whimpered, complaining about the impact.
"I wasn't sleeping on the bed, I was on the couch."
"Well, the bed is more comfortable."
I smiled, "I'll give you that."
I heard some noise and felt something move and looked down to see he was taking of his shoes. When he was done with it, he climbed on the bed and laid on top of me, "So, you really slept all day?"
"Most of it. What did you do?"
"I played some basketball, watched some videos on the internet and emptied my fridge."
"Porn videos?" I teased.
"Nah, you know I'm not into that." He lied.
"Sure, and pigs do can fly."
He grinned, "Speaking of sex though." He placed a kiss on my neck and I moaned, wanting nothing more than to get into some good loving making with my baby, but first. There was something else I really needed to get out.
"Yeah." I started, pushing him away just enough to have his attention, "Speaking of sex. There something I need to talk to you about."
"Okay," He slide to the side and turned his face to me, giving me his full attention. I loved that, I loved that he really paid attention if he thought it was important to me.
I looked into his eyes for a minute, took a deep breath, "I think I'm uh. Well, I'm pretty sure that. I'm pregnant."
His eyebrows went high and it took him a second to speak, "You're.. pretty sure?"
"I mean. My period is been MIA for like two weeks and I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I can still like, go to a hospital and do the test, but I really think I am."
He nodded, still trying to take the information in, "Well, I would really be okay with just having a pizza tonight, but. having a baby it is, I guess."
I laughed and playfully hit him on the chest, "I'm serious Shawn."
"I know you are," He sighed and kept my hand, "I just don't know what to say. I mean, what should I say?"
"I don't know, are you. okay with it?"
I had my eyes so fixed on him I don't think I was breathing. He took a deep breath, "I'd be lying if I said that I feel completely ready to have a child, or that it's all that've been missing from my life right now, but hey, if that's how nature wants it, I'll take."
I smiled so hard hearing him say that. Our thinking were so alike, it was crazy, "Besides, if I have to have an unexpected baby with anyone, I'm glad it's with you."
I nodded. That could have sounded fake, forced, or at least convenient, but to me it sounded true, because it was exactly how I felt. I grabbed his face and brought him in for a kiss, "Me too."
He pulled away just a bit, "Are you freaking out yet?"
I laughed, "Why do you think I couldn't do anything all day? I can't even think right."
I felt him wrapping his arms around me as I closed my eyes, "Let me know when you get it together, so I can take my turn,"
I buried my face in his chest, "It may take a while."
- LeticiaAdmin
- Posts : 194
Join date : 2021-03-23
Age : 36
Location : Brazil
Re: The letters (Short story)
Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:04 am
It was true that we weren't ready for it. To be parents, or to tie our lives together, one way or the other, but learning to get there with you, was one of the best experiences of my life.
It is so easy to learn how to love someone who is perfect, and always knows what to do. But when that person is getting on your nerves sometimes, saying the wrong things sometimes, and you just can't get away, even when you really want to. That's when you really know your heart is in for it, and won't let go.
"Ugh! What the hell is this?" I saw Shawn make a face after tasting something from the fridge.
I craned my neck to see what it was from my spot at the sink, "It's chocolate pudding."
He was drinking water now, "With what? It doesn't taste like chocolate is supposed to."
"I put pieces of tomatoes when I was making it. It tastes good to me."
"It tastes awful. You should throw it out instead of leaving it there for people to eat."
"I didn't leave it there for people to eat. I left it in MY fridge, for ME to eat. If you didn't go around, prying through my kitchen getting whatever you want and instead asked me about it, I would have told you."
He shook his head, irritated, "Man, you know what? I'm gonna go."
"Go where?"
"To my place, where I can eat what I damn well want and without getting a nasty taste in my mouth, or having to hear your bitter comments."
"Great, go. I'm tired of your face anyway. And don't bother to come back. I'll see you tomorrow at the Lamaze class."
"Yeah, soooo excited about it."
I followed him as he started to gather his things to leave, "What do you mean by that?"
He cut his eyes to me, "What? Now I have to stand here and pretend that being a father has always been a dream of mine?"
"Oh you think this is my dream come true? That my goal in life was to get knocked up by a guy I just met so I can pop out his damn baby?"
He pointed his finger at me, "Don't talk about the baby like that."
"Why? A minute ago, you said you don't even want it. Now you care about how I talk about it?"
"I didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth."
"Okay, what did you say then?" I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for his answer.
He scratched his head and looked at me, "Look, I'm going to try my best to be a good father and everything, but I wish it wasn't happening right now, I wish you were. on pills or something."
"Oh, you wish I was on pills?" He tried to walk away, but still I followed him, "You do know YOUR nut got us into this, right?"
"My nut? Like you had nothing to do with it?"
"I wasn't the one telling you to fill my womb with sperm!"
"Oh and it wasn't you who kept screaming, "don't stop" while my dick, covered with sperm, slammed inside of her?"
"Hey kids," A voice cut into our argument and we both turned our faces to see Angie coming into my house, smiling at us.
I rolled my eyes, "I always love when you let yourself into my place like that, Angie."
She blew me a kiss, "I love you too, Bey." I ignored her and looked at Shawn again, seeing him grab his car keys. "You're ready yet?" Angie asked, getting my attention again.
I looked down, trying to see beyond my belly and figure out what kind of shoes I had on, "I just need to get my jacket and maybe change my shoes."
Shawn was just about to head to the door, but when he heard that, he stopped, "Where are you going?"
"It's none of your business." I spat. He looked at Angie for an answer, but she just shrugged. He waited, looking between the two of us for the answer he wanted, but when we didn't say anything, he walked up to me. I took a few steps back, wanting to get away from him, but still he managed to lift me off the ground and carry me to my bedroom. He put me down on the bed and held me in place with his legs.
I fought to break free, "Let me go!"
"Where are you going?" He repeated.
I tried to get away again, harder this time, but he effortless held on, locking my legs between his. I couldn't move. Finally, I sighed and flopped down on the bed, "I'm going to meet my aunt. She's helping me pick out the crib for the baby."
He backed out, letting me get up, "I'm going with you."
"You weren't invited."
"It's for my baby, I don't need an invitation."
"The crib will be in my place, you have no say in it. You and your family can go out and pick the one that will be in yours."
"I'm waiting in the car." He said leaving the room.
I just wanted to SCREEAM!!! It was so easy for me to get mad at Shawn lately. And it wasn't that I hated him now, and that all the good feelings were gone, he just really drove me crazy. The baby was too much to deal with, and he wasn't making it any easier. And honestly, the closer it got to my due date, the crazier I got, and the angrier I got with him, because I had no idea where that would leave us. I mean, we're dating, and we are going to be parenting a child. separately. Like, I'm going to be waking up in the middle of the night to feed my baby while my boyfriend, who's also the father, is chilling at his place? Or, when he's up to staying with his child, I'll have to let my two month old have a sleep over? I'm not saying I wanted us to get married because of the baby, but. he doesn't even seem to be considering. He doesn't even bring up moving together. He'll just come over, stay for a while and then say he's heading back to his place.
I don't know if he has any idea of how crazy mad it makes me feel, but I wish he would tell me what the hell kind of relationship he thinks we're going to have when we officially become this baby's parents. I know I should have asked him already, but every time I think about it, and I play the conversation in my head, I'm just terrified that he'll say that I may be good enough to be his girlfriend and to have his child, but not to be his wife. That I'm not the person he wants to spend his life with.
"Bey, are you crying?" Angie asked, coming into my bedroom.
I wiped my tears and got up, avoiding looking at her, "He just really gets on my nerves."
"Honestly Bey, I think you guys should like. take a break or something. Just focus on the baby for a while, 'cause y'all used to be great together, and now the relationship is just terrible. It really won't be a good environment for the baby, you know?"
I bit hard on my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from crying again. The thought of breaking up with Shawn hurt so much, but what hurt even more was that I didn't think I could stop it from happening. Sometimes, I actually thought that he was just waiting for the baby to be here to do that.
I felt my shoulders starting shaking and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it. "It's alright girl." Angie said hugging me while I cried.
"I'm gonna lose him. I know I will."
Obviously, it took us a while to be ready to leave the house, so I was very surprised when I noticed Shawn was still outside, waiting for me. I thought for sure he'd be gone by now.
"You guys follow me." Angie said putting her hand on my shoulder before walking to her car. I got into Shawn's car silently, and remained that way as he started the car and drove off behind Angie. A few times, I saw him looking at me from the corner of my eye, but I kept my face turned away. I put my shades on to hide my puffy eyes and leaned back on my seat, hoping he would let me be. When finally we got to my aunt's house, Shawn parked the car behind Angie's and I started to unbuckle my seatbelt to leave the car, but he wasn't making any moves to do the same.
"I thought you said you were coming with me?"
He never looked in my direction, "Call me when you're ready to go home. I'll come pick you up."
I took a second to respond, then nodded my head, "Ok."
Some nights, I would wake up and look at you, sleeping beside me, and think about just how much I love you. That love felt so huge, it hurt at times.
Some nights, I would lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep, because loving you, hurt too much.
"Here." Shawn said holding a towel out for me while I stepped out of the shower.
"Thanks." I wrapped it around my body and went to my bedroom, with him following.
"I talked to my mom today. She said she wants to meet us for lunch this week."
I shrugged, "Okay."
"Is tomorrow good?"
"No, I have plans with Kelly."
"Friday?"
I managed to put my panties on under the towel, then took it off to put my roomy shirt on, "Yeah, Friday is good." After I put my towel away to dry, I walked back into the bedroom to find Shawn sitting on my bed, his mind seeming to be anywhere but there. I took a deep breath, trying to get myself ready to do this. "You can go Shawn." He looked up at me, "Not just to your place, you can. really go. It's okay."
He frowned, "What are you talking about?"
"We don't need to stay together for this baby. You can be the best father you can be, without having anything to do with me."
"Be-"
"No," I cut him off before he could say anything. My eyes were already filling up with tears and I was hating myself for it, because I had promised that I wouldn't cry again. I had been crying for days after my conversation with Angie. "It's fine, you know, I want to be able to have a good relationship with the father of my child, and the way we're going, I don't think that's going to happen. I don't want our child growing up seeing that her parents hate each other."
"I don't hate you, Bey."
"I don't hate you either, but I don't want us to get to that point."
"Come here." Shawn grabbed my hand and made me get closer to him until I was standing between his legs. By now, I was full on crying. "Look at me." I focused my eyes on him, trying to hold back my sobs. "I can't even think or see myself without you anymore. I love you. It may not feel like it lately, but I do. And all that stuff I said, about being glad that it's you having my baby, it is still true. I'll see this baby girl grow up, and in 10 years, 20 years from now, I'm still gonna be glad you are her mother." He wiped my face and took hair away from my eyes, "I really hate that we can't go through this like a lovey-dovey couple, but none of this is going to change how I feel about you." He pecked my lips, "I just need you to let me freak out a bit sometimes. I need my turn."
I smiled, "Okay."
He held my face in his hand, "Okay?"
I nodded, "Yeah."
He pecked my lips again, and this time we let it deepen until we were sharing a kiss like we hadn't shared in months.
"Come on," He took my hand when we finally pulled away.
I was confused, "Where?"
"The kitchen, I got us some food while you were in the shower."
I smiled hard, "Oh, God bless you."
He pecked my lips one last time, "He did."
It is so easy to learn how to love someone who is perfect, and always knows what to do. But when that person is getting on your nerves sometimes, saying the wrong things sometimes, and you just can't get away, even when you really want to. That's when you really know your heart is in for it, and won't let go.
"Ugh! What the hell is this?" I saw Shawn make a face after tasting something from the fridge.
I craned my neck to see what it was from my spot at the sink, "It's chocolate pudding."
He was drinking water now, "With what? It doesn't taste like chocolate is supposed to."
"I put pieces of tomatoes when I was making it. It tastes good to me."
"It tastes awful. You should throw it out instead of leaving it there for people to eat."
"I didn't leave it there for people to eat. I left it in MY fridge, for ME to eat. If you didn't go around, prying through my kitchen getting whatever you want and instead asked me about it, I would have told you."
He shook his head, irritated, "Man, you know what? I'm gonna go."
"Go where?"
"To my place, where I can eat what I damn well want and without getting a nasty taste in my mouth, or having to hear your bitter comments."
"Great, go. I'm tired of your face anyway. And don't bother to come back. I'll see you tomorrow at the Lamaze class."
"Yeah, soooo excited about it."
I followed him as he started to gather his things to leave, "What do you mean by that?"
He cut his eyes to me, "What? Now I have to stand here and pretend that being a father has always been a dream of mine?"
"Oh you think this is my dream come true? That my goal in life was to get knocked up by a guy I just met so I can pop out his damn baby?"
He pointed his finger at me, "Don't talk about the baby like that."
"Why? A minute ago, you said you don't even want it. Now you care about how I talk about it?"
"I didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth."
"Okay, what did you say then?" I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for his answer.
He scratched his head and looked at me, "Look, I'm going to try my best to be a good father and everything, but I wish it wasn't happening right now, I wish you were. on pills or something."
"Oh, you wish I was on pills?" He tried to walk away, but still I followed him, "You do know YOUR nut got us into this, right?"
"My nut? Like you had nothing to do with it?"
"I wasn't the one telling you to fill my womb with sperm!"
"Oh and it wasn't you who kept screaming, "don't stop" while my dick, covered with sperm, slammed inside of her?"
"Hey kids," A voice cut into our argument and we both turned our faces to see Angie coming into my house, smiling at us.
I rolled my eyes, "I always love when you let yourself into my place like that, Angie."
She blew me a kiss, "I love you too, Bey." I ignored her and looked at Shawn again, seeing him grab his car keys. "You're ready yet?" Angie asked, getting my attention again.
I looked down, trying to see beyond my belly and figure out what kind of shoes I had on, "I just need to get my jacket and maybe change my shoes."
Shawn was just about to head to the door, but when he heard that, he stopped, "Where are you going?"
"It's none of your business." I spat. He looked at Angie for an answer, but she just shrugged. He waited, looking between the two of us for the answer he wanted, but when we didn't say anything, he walked up to me. I took a few steps back, wanting to get away from him, but still he managed to lift me off the ground and carry me to my bedroom. He put me down on the bed and held me in place with his legs.
I fought to break free, "Let me go!"
"Where are you going?" He repeated.
I tried to get away again, harder this time, but he effortless held on, locking my legs between his. I couldn't move. Finally, I sighed and flopped down on the bed, "I'm going to meet my aunt. She's helping me pick out the crib for the baby."
He backed out, letting me get up, "I'm going with you."
"You weren't invited."
"It's for my baby, I don't need an invitation."
"The crib will be in my place, you have no say in it. You and your family can go out and pick the one that will be in yours."
"I'm waiting in the car." He said leaving the room.
I just wanted to SCREEAM!!! It was so easy for me to get mad at Shawn lately. And it wasn't that I hated him now, and that all the good feelings were gone, he just really drove me crazy. The baby was too much to deal with, and he wasn't making it any easier. And honestly, the closer it got to my due date, the crazier I got, and the angrier I got with him, because I had no idea where that would leave us. I mean, we're dating, and we are going to be parenting a child. separately. Like, I'm going to be waking up in the middle of the night to feed my baby while my boyfriend, who's also the father, is chilling at his place? Or, when he's up to staying with his child, I'll have to let my two month old have a sleep over? I'm not saying I wanted us to get married because of the baby, but. he doesn't even seem to be considering. He doesn't even bring up moving together. He'll just come over, stay for a while and then say he's heading back to his place.
I don't know if he has any idea of how crazy mad it makes me feel, but I wish he would tell me what the hell kind of relationship he thinks we're going to have when we officially become this baby's parents. I know I should have asked him already, but every time I think about it, and I play the conversation in my head, I'm just terrified that he'll say that I may be good enough to be his girlfriend and to have his child, but not to be his wife. That I'm not the person he wants to spend his life with.
"Bey, are you crying?" Angie asked, coming into my bedroom.
I wiped my tears and got up, avoiding looking at her, "He just really gets on my nerves."
"Honestly Bey, I think you guys should like. take a break or something. Just focus on the baby for a while, 'cause y'all used to be great together, and now the relationship is just terrible. It really won't be a good environment for the baby, you know?"
I bit hard on my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from crying again. The thought of breaking up with Shawn hurt so much, but what hurt even more was that I didn't think I could stop it from happening. Sometimes, I actually thought that he was just waiting for the baby to be here to do that.
I felt my shoulders starting shaking and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it. "It's alright girl." Angie said hugging me while I cried.
"I'm gonna lose him. I know I will."
Obviously, it took us a while to be ready to leave the house, so I was very surprised when I noticed Shawn was still outside, waiting for me. I thought for sure he'd be gone by now.
"You guys follow me." Angie said putting her hand on my shoulder before walking to her car. I got into Shawn's car silently, and remained that way as he started the car and drove off behind Angie. A few times, I saw him looking at me from the corner of my eye, but I kept my face turned away. I put my shades on to hide my puffy eyes and leaned back on my seat, hoping he would let me be. When finally we got to my aunt's house, Shawn parked the car behind Angie's and I started to unbuckle my seatbelt to leave the car, but he wasn't making any moves to do the same.
"I thought you said you were coming with me?"
He never looked in my direction, "Call me when you're ready to go home. I'll come pick you up."
I took a second to respond, then nodded my head, "Ok."
Some nights, I would wake up and look at you, sleeping beside me, and think about just how much I love you. That love felt so huge, it hurt at times.
Some nights, I would lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep, because loving you, hurt too much.
"Here." Shawn said holding a towel out for me while I stepped out of the shower.
"Thanks." I wrapped it around my body and went to my bedroom, with him following.
"I talked to my mom today. She said she wants to meet us for lunch this week."
I shrugged, "Okay."
"Is tomorrow good?"
"No, I have plans with Kelly."
"Friday?"
I managed to put my panties on under the towel, then took it off to put my roomy shirt on, "Yeah, Friday is good." After I put my towel away to dry, I walked back into the bedroom to find Shawn sitting on my bed, his mind seeming to be anywhere but there. I took a deep breath, trying to get myself ready to do this. "You can go Shawn." He looked up at me, "Not just to your place, you can. really go. It's okay."
He frowned, "What are you talking about?"
"We don't need to stay together for this baby. You can be the best father you can be, without having anything to do with me."
"Be-"
"No," I cut him off before he could say anything. My eyes were already filling up with tears and I was hating myself for it, because I had promised that I wouldn't cry again. I had been crying for days after my conversation with Angie. "It's fine, you know, I want to be able to have a good relationship with the father of my child, and the way we're going, I don't think that's going to happen. I don't want our child growing up seeing that her parents hate each other."
"I don't hate you, Bey."
"I don't hate you either, but I don't want us to get to that point."
"Come here." Shawn grabbed my hand and made me get closer to him until I was standing between his legs. By now, I was full on crying. "Look at me." I focused my eyes on him, trying to hold back my sobs. "I can't even think or see myself without you anymore. I love you. It may not feel like it lately, but I do. And all that stuff I said, about being glad that it's you having my baby, it is still true. I'll see this baby girl grow up, and in 10 years, 20 years from now, I'm still gonna be glad you are her mother." He wiped my face and took hair away from my eyes, "I really hate that we can't go through this like a lovey-dovey couple, but none of this is going to change how I feel about you." He pecked my lips, "I just need you to let me freak out a bit sometimes. I need my turn."
I smiled, "Okay."
He held my face in his hand, "Okay?"
I nodded, "Yeah."
He pecked my lips again, and this time we let it deepen until we were sharing a kiss like we hadn't shared in months.
"Come on," He took my hand when we finally pulled away.
I was confused, "Where?"
"The kitchen, I got us some food while you were in the shower."
I smiled hard, "Oh, God bless you."
He pecked my lips one last time, "He did."
- LeticiaAdmin
- Posts : 194
Join date : 2021-03-23
Age : 36
Location : Brazil
Re: The letters (Short story)
Mon Mar 29, 2021 1:17 am
I woke up in the morning in Shawn's arms and happy to be. He had succeeded in calming me down and getting my emotions together, even though we still had a lot to deal with. And to be honest, even when we spent the day yelling and cursing each other out, it still made me feel like I can endure another day when I woke up with him right there with me.
It didn't take long and an overwhelming need to pee took over me, so I freed myself from Shawn's embrace and hurried to the bathroom. Now, I couldn't very well run with my 38 weeks pregnant belly weighing me down, but I managed to make it fast enough, especially since lately, I had been getting a lot of practice with having to go every 5 minutes every day. I sat myself down and let my mind daydream of a full plate of bacon and pancakes for breakfast, when all of sudden this really weird sensation of something gushing out of my body ran through me and I heard a LOT of water running out. It was like dumping a whole glass of water into the bowl at once.
"What the." I held my belly and started to get up slowly. That whole mess did not look pretty. Suddenly, I started cramping. And it didn't take much thinking for me to figure out what was happening. "Shawn!" I managed to scream out, but I didn't think he heard me the first time, so I called out a bunch of times non-stop until finally he showed up at the door.
"What's happening?" He asked, still half asleep.
"What do you think is happening? Your child is tryna come out."
He lifted his eyebrows, half in surprise and half trying to open his eyes, "Now?"
"Yes, now. Go get the bag and let's go."
Shawn backed out running and I finally took the time to wipe myself and put my underwear back on, but I had barely finished putting it on right when Shawn came back and picked me up, going straight to the car. I really don't know why he INSISTS in doing that, but as long as he doesn't drop me or burst his ass on the floor while carrying me, I don't care.
He started to drive off using only one arm while he held his phone in his hand, pressing buttons without even looking at it.
"What are you doing? Who are you trying to call?" I asked confused.
"My family, your family, my job, anybody."
"Give me that." I took the phone from him. "I'll call Angie, and she'll tell people."
We were about half way to the hospital, when suddenly I realized that I only had a shirt on, I wasn't wearing a bra, my hair probably looked a mess and I didn't even brush my teeth. How the hell I was going to show up in front of people like that?
"Shawn, where's the bag?" I asked already trying to tame my hair.
"It's right back there." He pointed at the back seat and I thanked God he didn't put it in the trunk. I was able to comb my hair and put a bit of toothpaste in my mouth and I even had a sweater and pants in there, so I had everything I'd need to look decent. After he parked the car, Shawn tried to carry me out and into the hospital, but I wasn't having that. I was not about to let him walk in holding me up against his shoulder like some cave man fool.
Inside, a nurse took me to a, thank the Lord, private room and Shawn stayed behind filling out papers. By the time he caught up with me, Angie was already at the hospital as well.
"Hey girl," She walked up to my bed while Shawn found a chair to sit. "The doctor saw you yet?"
"Not yet."
"What about the contractions?"
"So far they are not so bad, but I'm not sure it's a good thing. I think it means I'll have to wait a while until this girl is really ready to come out."
"If she's like her mama, she'll take forever." Shawn tried to joke, but nobody laughed.
Angie was more encouraging, "Just relax Bey, and time will fly."
"I wish I could, but I'm hungry and laying here waiting is boring as hell."
"Well, we can make it less boring." Angie smiled and put her phone out. She turned some music on, and Fly away by Lenny came on, making we both grin.
"I'd fly above the trees, over the seas in all degrees, to anywhere I please," We sang together while Shawn tried to shush us.
"Man, y'all don't keep it down they are going to throw us out. You gonna have to give birth to our baby up those damn trees."
"Stop being a party pooper Shawn. In every room on this floor there are women screaming their lungs out. At least we're singing." Angie said, turning the volume up for the chorus.
It took a long while for the doctor to finally show up, and by that time, Shawn was singing along every song, sometimes even louder than us.
"Hey guys," The doctor walked in just when Billie Jean came on, and Angie turned the music down. "I heard there was a bit of a party going on here."
I sat up, "We were just passing time."
"Okay, let's see how you're doing here." The doctor stood in between my legs and started to check my cervix's dilation. "Well. I'd say you're ready." He smiled as he came up to where my eyes could really see him and for a second, my mouth hung opened. That's what I wanted to hear, but now that I did, I was feeling very nervous.
"Come on Bey, you can do it." Angie squeezed my hand and I numbly nodded. I didn't really felt I could, but it was a little too late to get out of it.
When everything was ready and it was time to do it, I wanted nothing more than to bring my daughter to this world, but I felt like there was too much going on around me. Even though there was only Shawn, the doctor and a nurse in the room. They kept encouraging and instructing me, but I couldn't get it together.
"Come on Bey, she's almost here," Shawn said holding my hand and kissing my sweaty forehead. I looked into his eyes and pictured our child inside of me, ready to come out and meet us. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, drawing her little face in my mind. I was so ready to hold her in my arms. I started pushing, putting all my strength into it, giving her all the strength I could give. When finally I heard her cry, I put my head on my pillow and opened my eyes. Shawn was looking at me, with tears in his eyes. "I love you so much."
Every person have that moment when finally, life comes together and they understand what it is all about. For me, that moment was when I saw you standing in front of me, holding our daughter in your arms for the first time. I understood then, that you and her were the two people I needed to meet, to become who I am. The person I'm supposed to be.
My first month with my baby at home went by really fast. Way too fast for my liking actually. I thought it would be a nightmare with me trying to be a mother, but it was the exact opposite. I really wish those weeks could last forever. Everything was just so easy and natural. Every little thing I needed to know to be a good mother to her, I learned with her. She showed me how to put her to sleep and how to calm her down, to know when she was hungry or when she just wanted attention. I just had to be there with her and let her respond to what I tried, and how I tried.
Shawn also fell into the flow easily. He did to me what I did to our daughter, always willing and ready to take care of me, and of everything for me.
"Morning," I looked up from my daughter, who was already wide awake at 6am, getting her morning feeding, and spotted Shawn walking into my bedroom carrying a breakfast tray.
"Wow," I watched him with a big smile on my face. He had been preparing breakfast for me all these days, but he had never brought it to me in bed. He sat the tray beside me, and sat down with it. "And it looked good too."
"Have some." He grabbed a toast and put jelly all over it before handing it to me.
"Hmm. it feels like I didn't wake up yet. This is really good." He sat there smiling and watching me eat, but I could tell he had something in his mind. "What?"
He shook his head and took some time before he finally spoke, "Well, you know what I said to you before, about all that we were going through and how it wouldn't change how I feel about you?" I only nodded, "I guess I was wrong. It did change."
I put the rest of my toast down and looked down at my baby, readjusted her before looking back at him. I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I really hoped he wasn't about to break up with me. I opened my mouth to say something to him, but the finger he laid on my lips stopped me, "Let me finish." He took his hand away and I laid back on my pillow to listen, "Before you told me about the baby, you were to me, that great girl that I had a lot of fun with. We would talk about anything, we would laugh, we had amazing sex and we really got each other. Whenever I was with you, I just knew I would have a great time. But then when the baby came into the picture, we were all over the place. There were so many emotions and none of us really knew what the hell we were doing. We couldn't get it together long enough to make it easier. Most days I'd want to be around you because of the baby, but the idea of having a baby, of being parents made us lose it, and we would lose it at the same time, which made it unbearable, but surprisingly. we made it through. We made it through a week, 2 weeks, 10 weeks... and all the other weeks. I was really glad we were able to do that, but I thought that when she finally arrived and we had to deal it the rest of our lives, we would lose it again. I thought it would be hell, but. look at us.? You're incredible with her. It's like you've known her your whole life. And if I'm honest, I can barely remember what life was like before her. I feel so far away from lost. I feel found. And that's something I never felt in my life. I look at you now, and I can't convince myself that you weren't part of my life 10 years ago. You feel like a part of me. I can't even think about myself, without thinking about the two of you. I went from liking you and your company, to loving you so much, I couldn't explain it if I tried. I don't think I ever did or ever will love anything or anyone more than I love you and this baby girl. Now." He finally paused, "I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, but I need you to take all this into consideration, to answer this question for me." He got up from the bed, then got down on one knee. I gasped even before he took the box out of his pocket and then showed me the ring, "Will you marry me?"
I bit my lip, tasting my tears from the corner of my mouth, "I thought you'd never ask." I put him up to place a kiss on his lips, "Yes. I'll marry you."
The first day of the rest of my life, started in that bright Tuesday morning, 371 days after just another ordinary night, when even through a crowd of people, your eyes found mine.
"I bet she had beautiful eyes." The girl said as he still held the paper in his hand.
He smiled, "She did. They were the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." His wrinkled old hands folded the pages one by one, putting them back inside the box as if they were his thoughts and memories of her. It had been over 30 years since he knelt down by that bed, and proposed to her, but to him, it was like yesterday.
His mind couldn't keep as much information now, as it did then. Often he forgot dates, and faces, and people, but not her. His memory of her he kept close, just like that box. As he rested his hand over the lid, he looked over at the young girl sitting beside him. His eyes couldn't help, but catch hers. "They were like yours. You have beautiful eyes too."
The girls smiled hard, "My mom always says I have my grandma's eyes." Then her smile faded, "I never got to meet her though. She passed away when I was little. Except my grandfather is always talking about her, so after a while it started to feel like I actually know her, even though I don't."
"In a way you do." He nodded kindly, "You know her through him, through his eyes."
She nodded, her smile restored, "I guess you're right."
"Ariana!" A woman called out from afar, "Time to go."
The girl sighed, "That's my mom. I gotta go. It was really nice talking to you."
He nodded as the girl got up, watched her mother walk closer to them and then stop when his eyes caught hers.
"Hi," The woman said reluctantly, like she was holding herself back.
He smiled at her, "Your daughter is a very beautiful girl."
The woman's eyes filled up with tears, "Thank you."
"Bye grandpa," The girl said as she kissed his cheek.
He touched his skin as he watched them walk away. His mind trying to reach for something, but yet not quite able to grab hold of anything.
"Mr. Carter?" The voice of his nurse cut in, in the middle of his effort. "It's time to go inside. You should get ready for dinner."
He tapped his hand over his box one last time, before slowly getting to his feet, "Okay."
"Can we come back next week?" Ariana asked her mother as she put on her seatbelt.
Her mother wiped her tears before starting the car, "We'll see. How is he doing?"
Ariana shrugged, "He's okay."
"Is he still telling stories from those blank pages?"
"Yep, they are great stories though."
Her mother wasn't moved. Those blank pages were all he cared about ever since her mother passed away, over 10 years ago. "He looks like a crazy person reading those papers like there was something written in them."
"He says grandma wrote him letters. I think he just really misses her."
"Well, I really miss her too, but still I didn't forget the rest of the world."
"She was his world. I think it's just hard for him to actually look around and realize she's not there anymore. So he doesn't do it too much."
Her mother looked over at her, a reluctant smile forming on her face. It hurt to look at her father and know that he didn't see his daughter when he looked at her, but it healed the pain a little, to be able to see him through her child, "You're a lot like him. I think that's why you two get along so well." She let go from the wheel a second, to hold her daughter's face in her hand. "You also reminds me of my mother."
"Her eyes?" The 15 year old asked with a smile.
"Yes. Sometimes I can see her in your eyes, and I miss her just a little less."
Ariana leaned back, watching the sky, "Maybe grandpa does too."
Later that night, as Mr. Carter laid in bed, sound asleep, his nurse pushed his bedroom door opened to make her last check of the night, before going to sleep herself. As she reached for the light switch, to turn it off, she noticed a piece of paper almost falling off his hand. She took it, so it wouldn't fall to the floor and placed it down on his nightstand, but as she did, her eyes couldn't help, but to scan the lines. That was probably the first of those pages that she saw with actual words written on it.
"[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad."
No matter how far I stand, your eyes will always find mine.
The End
It didn't take long and an overwhelming need to pee took over me, so I freed myself from Shawn's embrace and hurried to the bathroom. Now, I couldn't very well run with my 38 weeks pregnant belly weighing me down, but I managed to make it fast enough, especially since lately, I had been getting a lot of practice with having to go every 5 minutes every day. I sat myself down and let my mind daydream of a full plate of bacon and pancakes for breakfast, when all of sudden this really weird sensation of something gushing out of my body ran through me and I heard a LOT of water running out. It was like dumping a whole glass of water into the bowl at once.
"What the." I held my belly and started to get up slowly. That whole mess did not look pretty. Suddenly, I started cramping. And it didn't take much thinking for me to figure out what was happening. "Shawn!" I managed to scream out, but I didn't think he heard me the first time, so I called out a bunch of times non-stop until finally he showed up at the door.
"What's happening?" He asked, still half asleep.
"What do you think is happening? Your child is tryna come out."
He lifted his eyebrows, half in surprise and half trying to open his eyes, "Now?"
"Yes, now. Go get the bag and let's go."
Shawn backed out running and I finally took the time to wipe myself and put my underwear back on, but I had barely finished putting it on right when Shawn came back and picked me up, going straight to the car. I really don't know why he INSISTS in doing that, but as long as he doesn't drop me or burst his ass on the floor while carrying me, I don't care.
He started to drive off using only one arm while he held his phone in his hand, pressing buttons without even looking at it.
"What are you doing? Who are you trying to call?" I asked confused.
"My family, your family, my job, anybody."
"Give me that." I took the phone from him. "I'll call Angie, and she'll tell people."
We were about half way to the hospital, when suddenly I realized that I only had a shirt on, I wasn't wearing a bra, my hair probably looked a mess and I didn't even brush my teeth. How the hell I was going to show up in front of people like that?
"Shawn, where's the bag?" I asked already trying to tame my hair.
"It's right back there." He pointed at the back seat and I thanked God he didn't put it in the trunk. I was able to comb my hair and put a bit of toothpaste in my mouth and I even had a sweater and pants in there, so I had everything I'd need to look decent. After he parked the car, Shawn tried to carry me out and into the hospital, but I wasn't having that. I was not about to let him walk in holding me up against his shoulder like some cave man fool.
Inside, a nurse took me to a, thank the Lord, private room and Shawn stayed behind filling out papers. By the time he caught up with me, Angie was already at the hospital as well.
"Hey girl," She walked up to my bed while Shawn found a chair to sit. "The doctor saw you yet?"
"Not yet."
"What about the contractions?"
"So far they are not so bad, but I'm not sure it's a good thing. I think it means I'll have to wait a while until this girl is really ready to come out."
"If she's like her mama, she'll take forever." Shawn tried to joke, but nobody laughed.
Angie was more encouraging, "Just relax Bey, and time will fly."
"I wish I could, but I'm hungry and laying here waiting is boring as hell."
"Well, we can make it less boring." Angie smiled and put her phone out. She turned some music on, and Fly away by Lenny came on, making we both grin.
"I'd fly above the trees, over the seas in all degrees, to anywhere I please," We sang together while Shawn tried to shush us.
"Man, y'all don't keep it down they are going to throw us out. You gonna have to give birth to our baby up those damn trees."
"Stop being a party pooper Shawn. In every room on this floor there are women screaming their lungs out. At least we're singing." Angie said, turning the volume up for the chorus.
It took a long while for the doctor to finally show up, and by that time, Shawn was singing along every song, sometimes even louder than us.
"Hey guys," The doctor walked in just when Billie Jean came on, and Angie turned the music down. "I heard there was a bit of a party going on here."
I sat up, "We were just passing time."
"Okay, let's see how you're doing here." The doctor stood in between my legs and started to check my cervix's dilation. "Well. I'd say you're ready." He smiled as he came up to where my eyes could really see him and for a second, my mouth hung opened. That's what I wanted to hear, but now that I did, I was feeling very nervous.
"Come on Bey, you can do it." Angie squeezed my hand and I numbly nodded. I didn't really felt I could, but it was a little too late to get out of it.
When everything was ready and it was time to do it, I wanted nothing more than to bring my daughter to this world, but I felt like there was too much going on around me. Even though there was only Shawn, the doctor and a nurse in the room. They kept encouraging and instructing me, but I couldn't get it together.
"Come on Bey, she's almost here," Shawn said holding my hand and kissing my sweaty forehead. I looked into his eyes and pictured our child inside of me, ready to come out and meet us. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, drawing her little face in my mind. I was so ready to hold her in my arms. I started pushing, putting all my strength into it, giving her all the strength I could give. When finally I heard her cry, I put my head on my pillow and opened my eyes. Shawn was looking at me, with tears in his eyes. "I love you so much."
Every person have that moment when finally, life comes together and they understand what it is all about. For me, that moment was when I saw you standing in front of me, holding our daughter in your arms for the first time. I understood then, that you and her were the two people I needed to meet, to become who I am. The person I'm supposed to be.
My first month with my baby at home went by really fast. Way too fast for my liking actually. I thought it would be a nightmare with me trying to be a mother, but it was the exact opposite. I really wish those weeks could last forever. Everything was just so easy and natural. Every little thing I needed to know to be a good mother to her, I learned with her. She showed me how to put her to sleep and how to calm her down, to know when she was hungry or when she just wanted attention. I just had to be there with her and let her respond to what I tried, and how I tried.
Shawn also fell into the flow easily. He did to me what I did to our daughter, always willing and ready to take care of me, and of everything for me.
"Morning," I looked up from my daughter, who was already wide awake at 6am, getting her morning feeding, and spotted Shawn walking into my bedroom carrying a breakfast tray.
"Wow," I watched him with a big smile on my face. He had been preparing breakfast for me all these days, but he had never brought it to me in bed. He sat the tray beside me, and sat down with it. "And it looked good too."
"Have some." He grabbed a toast and put jelly all over it before handing it to me.
"Hmm. it feels like I didn't wake up yet. This is really good." He sat there smiling and watching me eat, but I could tell he had something in his mind. "What?"
He shook his head and took some time before he finally spoke, "Well, you know what I said to you before, about all that we were going through and how it wouldn't change how I feel about you?" I only nodded, "I guess I was wrong. It did change."
I put the rest of my toast down and looked down at my baby, readjusted her before looking back at him. I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I really hoped he wasn't about to break up with me. I opened my mouth to say something to him, but the finger he laid on my lips stopped me, "Let me finish." He took his hand away and I laid back on my pillow to listen, "Before you told me about the baby, you were to me, that great girl that I had a lot of fun with. We would talk about anything, we would laugh, we had amazing sex and we really got each other. Whenever I was with you, I just knew I would have a great time. But then when the baby came into the picture, we were all over the place. There were so many emotions and none of us really knew what the hell we were doing. We couldn't get it together long enough to make it easier. Most days I'd want to be around you because of the baby, but the idea of having a baby, of being parents made us lose it, and we would lose it at the same time, which made it unbearable, but surprisingly. we made it through. We made it through a week, 2 weeks, 10 weeks... and all the other weeks. I was really glad we were able to do that, but I thought that when she finally arrived and we had to deal it the rest of our lives, we would lose it again. I thought it would be hell, but. look at us.? You're incredible with her. It's like you've known her your whole life. And if I'm honest, I can barely remember what life was like before her. I feel so far away from lost. I feel found. And that's something I never felt in my life. I look at you now, and I can't convince myself that you weren't part of my life 10 years ago. You feel like a part of me. I can't even think about myself, without thinking about the two of you. I went from liking you and your company, to loving you so much, I couldn't explain it if I tried. I don't think I ever did or ever will love anything or anyone more than I love you and this baby girl. Now." He finally paused, "I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, but I need you to take all this into consideration, to answer this question for me." He got up from the bed, then got down on one knee. I gasped even before he took the box out of his pocket and then showed me the ring, "Will you marry me?"
I bit my lip, tasting my tears from the corner of my mouth, "I thought you'd never ask." I put him up to place a kiss on his lips, "Yes. I'll marry you."
The first day of the rest of my life, started in that bright Tuesday morning, 371 days after just another ordinary night, when even through a crowd of people, your eyes found mine.
"I bet she had beautiful eyes." The girl said as he still held the paper in his hand.
He smiled, "She did. They were the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." His wrinkled old hands folded the pages one by one, putting them back inside the box as if they were his thoughts and memories of her. It had been over 30 years since he knelt down by that bed, and proposed to her, but to him, it was like yesterday.
His mind couldn't keep as much information now, as it did then. Often he forgot dates, and faces, and people, but not her. His memory of her he kept close, just like that box. As he rested his hand over the lid, he looked over at the young girl sitting beside him. His eyes couldn't help, but catch hers. "They were like yours. You have beautiful eyes too."
The girls smiled hard, "My mom always says I have my grandma's eyes." Then her smile faded, "I never got to meet her though. She passed away when I was little. Except my grandfather is always talking about her, so after a while it started to feel like I actually know her, even though I don't."
"In a way you do." He nodded kindly, "You know her through him, through his eyes."
She nodded, her smile restored, "I guess you're right."
"Ariana!" A woman called out from afar, "Time to go."
The girl sighed, "That's my mom. I gotta go. It was really nice talking to you."
He nodded as the girl got up, watched her mother walk closer to them and then stop when his eyes caught hers.
"Hi," The woman said reluctantly, like she was holding herself back.
He smiled at her, "Your daughter is a very beautiful girl."
The woman's eyes filled up with tears, "Thank you."
"Bye grandpa," The girl said as she kissed his cheek.
He touched his skin as he watched them walk away. His mind trying to reach for something, but yet not quite able to grab hold of anything.
"Mr. Carter?" The voice of his nurse cut in, in the middle of his effort. "It's time to go inside. You should get ready for dinner."
He tapped his hand over his box one last time, before slowly getting to his feet, "Okay."
"Can we come back next week?" Ariana asked her mother as she put on her seatbelt.
Her mother wiped her tears before starting the car, "We'll see. How is he doing?"
Ariana shrugged, "He's okay."
"Is he still telling stories from those blank pages?"
"Yep, they are great stories though."
Her mother wasn't moved. Those blank pages were all he cared about ever since her mother passed away, over 10 years ago. "He looks like a crazy person reading those papers like there was something written in them."
"He says grandma wrote him letters. I think he just really misses her."
"Well, I really miss her too, but still I didn't forget the rest of the world."
"She was his world. I think it's just hard for him to actually look around and realize she's not there anymore. So he doesn't do it too much."
Her mother looked over at her, a reluctant smile forming on her face. It hurt to look at her father and know that he didn't see his daughter when he looked at her, but it healed the pain a little, to be able to see him through her child, "You're a lot like him. I think that's why you two get along so well." She let go from the wheel a second, to hold her daughter's face in her hand. "You also reminds me of my mother."
"Her eyes?" The 15 year old asked with a smile.
"Yes. Sometimes I can see her in your eyes, and I miss her just a little less."
Ariana leaned back, watching the sky, "Maybe grandpa does too."
Later that night, as Mr. Carter laid in bed, sound asleep, his nurse pushed his bedroom door opened to make her last check of the night, before going to sleep herself. As she reached for the light switch, to turn it off, she noticed a piece of paper almost falling off his hand. She took it, so it wouldn't fall to the floor and placed it down on his nightstand, but as she did, her eyes couldn't help, but to scan the lines. That was probably the first of those pages that she saw with actual words written on it.
"[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad."
No matter how far I stand, your eyes will always find mine.
The End
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